I Need You (14 page)

Billy was doing all those things, his whole body was insistence, but not in a way that made me think he wouldn’t stop. If I said stop. I knew he’d stop.

But he didn’t make me want to say stop.

I wanted him to continue.

One hand ran up my back. The bow behind my neck was tugged and undone. Then the bow in the middle of my back. My bikini top fell loose.

I’d always done it with Jason in the dark, under the covers. I’d never liked him looking at my body. This was a hundred times different. It was daylight; it poured in through a skylight. Nothing was hidden.

Vulnerability cried out in my head again but Billy didn’t give me time to let fear take hold. My top was pulled away and his mouth left mine, then a second later it closed over my breast, as his hand held it. His other hand was still on my ass, gripping and massaging. It slid further down, his fingertips tantalizingly straining to reach my sensitized swollen flesh.

Lord.

Shit.

I had never felt like this. My head fell back against the tiles, my fingers curling and gripping in his wet hair as the water kept on drenching our sexual game.

Jason had sucked my breasts. A ton of times. But now the sensation pulled inside me, not just an external feeling, an internal pull, as if a cord stretched from my nipple to that part of me the video on the internet had told me to touch.

I wanted Billy to touch me there.

Ah… Jason had always been gentle.

Billy was not gentle. His suck was hard and insistent. There was no way my brain was wandering away from this.

“Oh.” Had that sound come from my mouth?

This was so different.

His fingers let go of my ass and slipped out of my bikini bottoms. I didn’t want him to let go.

The bow at the side came loose.

I shut my eyes as he gripped my ass again, and his other hand let go of my breast, then freed the other side of my bottoms.

My poor brain grasped at every sensation, hidden in the darkness behind my eyelids.

My heart thundered out a racing base beat.

His mouth pulled at my breast and his hand came back up to knead it with a firm grip as my bottoms fell onto the shower floor. I was naked in the daylight.

I shut my eyes tighter and bit my lip, pushing aside the fear that hovered over my head. This was vulnerability beyond anything I’d know before.

But fear had just become another dimension adding to the intoxicating things he did.

I thought his hands would get more intimate, but they didn’t. The suction on my breast pulled free, my nipple sliding off his tongue. Play tag. I wondered if in the future my breast could play tag with his tongue too.

His mouth pressed over mine; a hard, firm kiss as his fingers gripped my ass again and pulled me tight against him, only this time my skin was brushing against the cotton of his swim shorts and the pressure of his erection rested against my belly.

It was erotic––tantalizing––as his tongue played in my mouth.

Billy.

My hands slid down his back to his butt and gripped the firm, round, muscle through his swim shorts.

His hand moved to take them off.

He’d thought I’d asked for that. I hadn’t, but I guess if this was going further that had to be done, and I wanted it to go further.

This was so beyond normal for me. Jason had never done anything like this, never been urgent.

Billy pushed down his shorts, they slipped to his feet, then he kicked them away, still kissing me.

His flesh pressed against mine.

This is going too fast!

Billy’s fingers curled around my buttocks, reaching beneath. I thought he was going to lift me. If he had I’d have said no, as panic flared like a forest fire.

But he didn’t.

He dropped to his knees. I gasped.

I felt sick.

My fingers gripping either side of his head, I tried to pull him up. “Billy! No!” I didn’t want this. I wasn’t ready. “No! Please! I can’t!” My voice pleaded pathetically for him to stop when I couldn’t pull him up.

Billy

Lindy’s body had gone rigid the minute I’d dropped to my knees, and her grip bracing my head was like a vice trying to pull me up. She sounded panicked.

I looked up, my fingers still gripping her ass as the water rained down on me.

Her fingers clawed on my neck, pulling.

“Relax, Lind.”

She shook her head, all her muscles still tight with anxiety. “I don’t do this. I don’t like it.” Her dyed lashes held droplets of water as her blue eyes reflected her urgency––terrified.

She was weird. My brow squished, my lips twisting––probably telling her I’d thought that. “Well, I do, Lind. So are you gonna let me?”

Shit, why had I used the word let? Want… She didn’t want. And I didn’t want her to let.

Her head shook, her teeth cutting so hard into her lip it turned white on the edges.

I stood. This wasn’t going any further.

As I moved, my erection brushed her leg and hip. It had not acknowledged her denial.

My hands still holding her bottom, I rested my forehead against hers, sighing out the desire, raging to do what I’d planned.

We’d been playing all day. My body was like one of those sprung toys, all coiled-up and ready to jump, with a sexual energy that wanted to explode. I breathed out, “Why?”

“’Cause it’s strange.”

“Why strange?”

She fell back against the tiles, slipping out of my hands.

“It’s too intimate.”

“Intimate in what way?”

“Billy, stop tying my words in knots!”

“How else am I gonna understand…” Exasperation touched my pitch.

The stupid girl started crying.

Way to kill a moment. That put the fires of desire right out. There was nothing even smoldering. My cock got the text.
It is not happening.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against me. Her head fell against my shoulder, her face pressing into my neck.

“I take it you and Jason never did that.”

She shook her head.

What the fuck had they done? Just the missionary position and nothing else?

The water poured down on us.

“Sometimes you have to face your fear.”

She pulled away. “I’m not afraid. It’s just… Letting someone that close––”

“Is too intimate…” I finished for her.

Her body shivered.

Frigid
, Rachel had said.

Rachel could only have got that definition from Jason.

Lindy had hated sex. Just done it––in the missionary position.

Frick.

She’d trapped herself in with this discomfort. No wonder they’d ended.

“I suppose this is down to your stupid obsession with how you look. Cause you think I’m gonna see something you don’t want me to… That I won’t like… Lind, you should let the guy be the judge of what he likes. Believe me, everything down there is only going to turn me on. I’m a guy, you’re a girl, and I’m not gay, so I’m pretty sure it’s all gonna be okay.”

My pinky finger was on her neck, her pulse raced like mad beneath it.

She was truly terrified, like she had a phobia.

I kissed her. Kissing had seemed to work pretty well in the pool for helping her forget she was only wearing a bikini.

I moved one hand, slipping my thumb across her belly to brush the skin above the place she was terrified I’d see and hate.

I ran it lower.

She was Hollywood.

Why go frickin’ Hollywood when you had no intention of letting anyone down there?

Weird girl.

Her muscles slackened a little as she started playing tag with my tongue and her arms came up around my neck, but her movements were hesitant. She didn’t trust me anymore.

If we were starting up again and going further, I just had to do it, and let her deal with it––or stop me again. One or the other.

My thumb ran down and touched her. Her whole body jolted. But it was kind of sexy to have that much influence over her.

I broke the kiss. “You okay?” I said against her cheek, as I brushed her again, and moved to kiss her neck.

She swallowed. Hesitating. “Yeah.”

“Tell me at any time you’re not.”

“Okay.”

“But I’m going to do what I want, Lind, because you‘re beautiful and you need to know it, and you need to get over this stupid thing, and not care what anyone else thinks.”

The heat of her breath brushed my shoulder as water poured onto my back, but she didn’t say no. She was going to try to brave this out.

I didn’t want her to be brave. I wanted her to want me to do it.

I rubbed her a few times more, until she stopped jolting and her arms settled more heavily on my shoulders as she relaxed, her tongue dancing around mine, fighting to keep up. Her thoughts were on our game of tag. I slid my fingers between her legs and two into her.

She gasped. Her arms tightening back up, clinging rather than embracing.

I broke the kiss. “Still okay?” I brushed my lips over hers before she could answer––gently, teasing her senses.

She pulled back, her gaze meeting mine, as she nodded. “I’m okay.”

I guess they had done this.

“Think about how things feel––nothing else. Focus on sensations.”

She shut her eyes nodding again, and leaning her head back onto the tiles. It looked like sacrifice.
But my head does want you, Billy, it isn’t just let. My body just doesn’t know how…

Well I was gonna teach her body how, and her head would have to catch up.

She had said she wanted.

I kissed and bit her neck, my fingers drawing in and out.

She’d been turned off, but she was moist, and her internal skin soft like satin. My painful erection pushed at her hip and my thumb brushed her too, to hold her mind on me.

She started relaxing, her weight resting against the tiles.

I longed for her to move––to rock against my hand. But this was only acceptance, not participation. Let… She stood still, just limper than before.

But she’d said she wanted.

I brushed kisses across her cheek, then whispered in her ear. “If kissing is tag, then sex is a competition, honey. You’re meant to fight for it.”

“Fight for what?” Her eyes flew open. She had been thinking of me and what I was doing, the assurance shone a bright sparkle in her eyes.

“For your end. Race me to it, or tease me and hold it back. Rock your hips against my hand.”

“I can’t, that’s––”

“You can do anything you want.”

“And if I don’t want.”

“Trust me, you’ll want. You wanted to get better at this. If you want to get better, then you’re going to have to be brave.”

“Okay.”

“Rock your hips.” My last words came out sharp, but she needed someone to push her through her barrier of fear.

Her hips moved and brushed my erection as she rocked them forward into my hand. I groaned. I couldn’t help it. Her head turned, her gaze catching mine like she thought I’d forced out the sound.

“You are beautiful, Lindy. You really need to know it.”

I dropped to my knees. It was probably too soon, but I just couldn’t hold back. The girl was Hollywood, brushing into my hand, and it called to my tongue.

I kissed her belly. Her muscle stiffened, but she kept moving. I kissed her hip bone, then swept the tip of my tongue from there to her belly button. Then from there I started kissing a pathway down as my fingers and my thumb worked.

Lindy

I wanted to cry, and scream… and melt. The water running over my body sucked me into a pool of sensation––pleasure––terror.

My fingers gripped hard in his hair and his tongue touched me.

I’d never understood why people wanted to be this intimate. But I knew Jason was with Rachel.

He’d always wanted to do it with me and I’d never let him. It was just too weird, too personal. Too close to imperfection and people seeing the truth about me.

“Ahhh.” Billy didn’t seem to care.

His tongue played. I kept moving my hips. Following the rhythm he set with his fingers. Each time I rocked forward his tongue waited for me. Teasing the sensitive spot his thumb brushed when I pulled back.

My fingers clasped tighter in his hair as the terror ran away like the water dripping off us. He was right. I wanted this.

His fingers increased their pace. In. Out.

I leaned all my weight against the wall, my thighs quaking with a desire to give way––to fall and let him do whatever he wanted.

He wasn’t going to stop. I didn’t want him to. The only thing to do was do as he’d said––race.

When I was younger I’d had a competitive streak as strong as him and Jason.

Don’t think. I shut my eyes tighter. All I could see was black. Race!

My fingers pulled his head and his tongue back to me when he took it away as I rocked back. I didn’t go so far back either, teasing him, using the sensitive tip he was after as bait for him to chase.

Sensations wrapped around me, tying me up in a charm, like he’d been doing all day in the pool.

Involuntarily my fingers released his hair, then gripped it again as I rocked forward, using his pattern of invasion as a guide.

“I like it.” I whispered into the steamy air. My eyes still shut so I could hide from the girl who’d said that.

His tongue wasn’t there when I rocked forward. “Thank fuck for that…” A deep rumbling laugh stirred up a new sensation… “Lind.”

I opened my eyes, looked down and met his dark-blue gaze. The onyx circles at the heart of his eyes were really wide.

“Race me…” The words rolled over gravel in his throat. It was a challenge.

He was on.

I pushed against his fingers as they invaded, and held his mouth to me, learning every trigger for the sensations roaring up inside me, and moving my body to intensify every little thing.

It had not felt like this when I’d lain on the bed alone.

People said eating chocolate was as good as an orgasm. Oh Lord, no. Chocolate did not feel as good as this.

But then an odd new feeling peaked and swelled––“You’re gonna make me pee.”

He glanced up laughing. “You won’t pee. And even if you did I wouldn’t care. Just relax.” His thumb released its pressure as he looked back down, at me, watching his thumb brush over me, admiring what he saw with an awe that was crazy.