I Promise You (9 page)

You could
smell it as you headed towards the town centre and all the different marquees
were set up; it was great.

I spotted a
French stall and wanted to taste the olive oils with fresh bread along with
some cheese.

The olives
came in all shapes and sizes. I even found myself feeding Frank some food which
startled me at first as I did it without thinking. But Frank, ever the
gentleman, took it in his stride.

By the time we
had finished walking around the stalls and around the town centre we had been
out of the lodge for five hours and were laden with carrier bags full of international
produce.

We were
peckish and decided to pop into a local pub for something light to eat.

‘You’re
looking much more like yourself today’ he said.

‘I feel much more
like myself thanks to you’

Now Frank was
the one blushing and I started to laugh.

It was a sight
I never thought I would see and it suited him. I felt guilty for laughing, why?

Because I felt
relaxed for the first time and even though it felt right it also felt wrong or
was I just being hard on myself?

Remember
I’ve done nothing wrong it was him.

If you feel
like having a laugh, then go for it.

I ordered a
jacket potato with tuna and cheese and Frank ordered a cheeseburger and fries
and we both ordered coke. By the time we had finished, it was nearly three,
thirty in the afternoon, so we headed back to the lodge.

I was in a
joyous mood when we got back; I gave José some gifts of fine cheese and olive
oils as a “Thank You.”

Once we
unpacked what we had bought, I was feeling tired, but did not want to sleep
downstairs so I lay out on the sofa.

Frank had gone
to get me a blanket. When he came back and knelt down beside me to cover me, I
lifted my head to prop up my pillow, we were literally a hair’s breath away
from kissing each other.

We froze for a
moment then both pulled away as he put the cover over me.

I turned to
look at him and said “thanks”

‘For what?’ he
said’

“For
everything” I then fell asleep.

How
do you know when you’re really in love?

Frank left
Autum asleep on the sofa; he was sitting on the opposite sofa looking at her chest
rising, the cover going up and down. He could hardly hear her breathe.

He recalled
when she came up for breakfast that morning in her PJ’s and how it had made him
feel
, like they were a couple.

He noticed
that he was looking at how long her sexy legs looked in those shorts she was in,
and that she had the most perfect breasts he had ever seen
in that skimpy
top.

Feeling a
little embarrassed, he recalled her noticing that he was looking at her, and
how she quickly made her way to the table.

What she
didn’t know was how he was looking at her nice ass and wondering if he would
ever get the chance to slap it. Frank smiled to himself.

Until Autum’s
arrival Frank hadn’t noticed how empty his life had been without someone to
share it with.

To wake up,
and see someone in the same room as you and to have breakfast with, was
something he felt he was now missing in his life, something he now started to
crave. She wasn’t his and he knew that, but he also felt even more jealous that
someone like Jack was quite happy to throw it all away for some fling, with her
friend, of all people, and not realise how good he had it and how much Frank
now wanted it.

Frank recalled
when Rebecca had made that panicked call to him and how he had felt in that
split moment after getting the call, the pains in his chest and how his heart had
started to flutter, something that he had not felt for any woman before.

Part of him
was glad that Jack had fucked up.

As far as he
was concerned, it meant that he may have a chance after all or at least he
hoped he would. He thought about when he met Julian and they entered her
apartment. The first thing that struck them was that the door was slightly
ajar.

Her suitcase
was not far from the entrance and they could see straight into the kitchen.

“I think
that’s what drew our attention as we walked straight past what we now know was
her bedroom.

As we stepped
into the kitchen it was as if a bomb had gone off and blown everything up.

Most of the
cutlery was on the floor smashed to bits, we called out her name as we headed
back through.

The living
room, once we got inside, was covered with feathers everywhere, the sofa was
totally destroyed, the TV smashed to bits, there was nothing left untouched in
that room.  Me and Julian just gave each other a look that said what the hell
happened in here?

I started to
panic thinking that Autum had been involved in some sort of fight and may have
not come out of it unscathed.

This was
destruction on a new level but who had done this?

Did Jack leave
this as a reminder for her when she got home, maybe he did?

All I know is
that Autum was still missing.

We then walked
back to the room we missed on our way in. I tried to push the door open but
something was blocking it.

I pushed my
head in to look around the door and that’s when I found Autum lying face down,
blood seeping from her, a knife in her hand.

I squeezed
myself through and called out her name again but still no reply.

I told Julian
to go and call for an ambulance while I saw if she was still breathing.

I knew that
once Julian had left and I was alone with her, how she had made me feel. I
raised her head onto my lap and it was then when I looked down at her that I
knew no matter how much I denied it to myself, I was falling in love with this
women. It was instant and unmistakeable, and the fact that she would never love
me back was something I didn’t need to think about, my heart sank for this
woman because she would never know how she made me feel inside.

When Julian
came into the room his first reaction was of the carnage, something which, when
I look back, I did not realise at first.

The bed,
sheets and everything which was not nailed down was smashed, broken, and
destroyed.

Did she corner
them in here? Did they corner her in here I will never know?

For now, I was
here for her and that was all I could have wished for, anytime that I spent
with Autum would be precious, she was only mine for a week, and the days were
disappearing too fast.

I also knew I
was living in cuckoo land and if she did not like me before I had no chance
now, she saw me as her boss nothing more. I would in time, watch her date
someone else knowing that I let my guard down and told her how I felt about her
in Miami.

Yes we’ve
moved on, but should my gut still churn every time she looks at me or when I
look at her? No it shouldn’t but it does.

Then I think
back to the hospital, she looked like sleeping beauty.

I held her
hand for a short while, conscious that I did not want Rebecca to see me doing
this when she arrived.

I stroked her
forehead and pushed away strands of hair from her face. She felt so warm and
soft, and by the grace of god, the doctor said that she needed total rest and
someone to look after her.

God had given
me this brief time of happiness. It may only be for one week, but this would be
the best week I thought I would never have, and now, I don’t want it to end.

Two more days
and her house will be renovated; I just hope she remembers what I did for her
when she moves on with her life.

Not as her
boss but someone who really cared about her but couldn’t tell her how much.

When she fed
me today in the market place she was smiling at me, she made me feel like we
were together, just another couple out shopping,
and I li
ked it.

I go through
times when I am fine, but sometimes, like how close we nearly came to kissing
today I felt jealous because she isn’t mine, well, it makes me think that maybe
we could have something more, if only she would let me in, I could never hurt
her just love her.

I turn to look
at her sleeping as she takes a deep sigh.

What could she
be thinking of right now? 

Soft,
gentle, kind, loyal and loving! Is there really a perfect partner out there for
us all?

I was
dreaming about the day I had with Frank and the days so far since I had been
here, and they had all been good.

I had seen
a side of Frank that I did not see before, but then again why would I? I had
not been looking!

I cast my
mind back to when we first had our close encounter in Miami and how he told me
how he had felt about me for all these years and I smiled to myself.

Why did I
get turned on when he kissed me?

I was
shocked at first but then I started to enjoy myself. Did I know then that
something in my own life was wrong?

Maybe, but
why did I then keep thinking about him and me “doing things.”

Was that
just my naughty mind playing games? Most likely.

And why do
I also melt at times when he looks at me in that way.

Was my mind
asking me if I wanted more of him?

But I
discounted those feelings as not natural.

They
couldn’t be, I was engaged to someone else and I should only have had those
feelings for him.

Frank was
so loving and kind, so why had he not found anyone to share his life with?

Would I be
jealous……I found myself saying yes I would.

I felt so
torn inside. Jack did all those things to me with someone who was close to me
and I needed closure.

Why,
because I truly wanted to move on.

Did that
mean I loved Jack any less to do it this quick? No.

There were
no excuses for what he had done. I thought of Jack now and felt nothing, just
emptiness. My body was totally rejecting how he used to make me feel.

I decided
that I needed to see him when I got back; they say that you should never look
back and I didn’t intend to.

Did I want
something with Frank?

I didn’t
know? All I know was that I felt safe with him and deep down I didn’t want to
lose that.

Maybe we
are just friends?

I hoped so
at least. Could I give him more?

Would I
want to give him more?

Only time
would tell?

Today I
wanted to kiss him and that shocked me.

When our
lips were so close and I could feel the heat from him, I wanted him.

How would
he have felt if I was the one making the first move, would it have been so
wrong?

Yes, as I
didn’t know if I would be giving him false hope?

Frank had
shown me how caring he could be, how attentive he is to someone, and I wanted
that someone to always be me.

Had it
taken this incident with Jack for me to truly find my perfect partner?  At this
moment in time I wanted him to be, but how could I want Frank so soon after
Jack? This could not be rational behaviour. Was I just latching onto something
which was not truly there? All I know was that I needed to think about how this
may look and feel to Frank.

I stirred from
my sleep to smell José’s delicious cooking, again he had surpassed himself.

Wow, I really
must have needed that sleep.

 “Feeling
better?”

“‘Indeed, I
didn’t think shopping was so tiring.”

Frank laughed
his haughty laugh and I laughed too. When we had finished our meal, I asked
Frank if we could go for a walk.

It was a nice
evening when we set out from the lodge but very dark being surrounded by all
those trees. The air was sharp and I liked it.

‘Tell me
something about yourself Frank; I really would like to know more about you’

Frank kept on
walking then began to talk. “As you know I am thirty, I was born in Oxford but
moved to London at the age of eleven when my mom got a job in Canary Wharf.

I hated it at
first as my mom decided she wanted a better education for me and sent me to a
private school.

It was so
different from my previous school, but after a few months I settled down and
realised how much of an opportunity I had been given and thrived there.

I then applied
to go to Eaton and got in and studied very hard the rest as they say is history”

 ‘Do you have
any brothers or sisters?”

No just me,
there were times growing up I was lonely and wished my parents had more
children, but they were both career driven. It must have killed them to have
had me but I did not want for anything, and they truly do love me.

‘Where are
they now?’

“Both in the
Bahamas, they have a small business that they run together and the rest of the
time they spend socialising, attending charitable events and building up their
contacts list.

I speak to
them most days as they keep trying to persuade me to come over”

‘You mean you
have not been to see them?’

“Believe it or
not no. Work has just been too busy and they keep asking me when I will be
giving them grandchildren”

‘So you want
children then?’

“Of course I
do, just not found anyone that I want to settle down with yet that’s all.”

‘Frank, can I
ask you something personal?’

“Sure.”