I Remember (Remembrance Series) (42 page)

“Thanks, Mom. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Jordan.”

“Unless you need me for something, I am going to get unpacked and go to bed. I have an early morning meeting and I have several reports to start on at work.” Truthfully, my heart was ripping into a million pieces and I wanted to escape to my bedroom so my mother wouldn’t see me cry.

“No, I’m fine. You do look tired, so go ahead to bed and I will see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Mom. I love you.”

“Love you, too. I’m here when you are ready to talk.”

I unpacked my suitcase, put on my pajamas and grabbed some tissues before going to bed. I knew tonight I would be crying myself to sleep.

The dreams were nightmares of Daniel and Angeline’s final moments. The witch’s laugh haunted me throughout the night. For the first time, in a long time, I was alone in my mind and restless.

My days were filled with many new projects and assignments at work. My nights were still filled with nightmares of the past. However, there were some new images of a female in colonial wear, but they never lasted long enough for me to get a name or see who she was. I wondered if spending time in Richmond and being surrounded by so many relics of the Colonial period had triggered my subconscious to use that era to get me past the horrific events I’d experienced there.

The first week showed my theory was proving to be somewhat correct. I was certain that if we kept away from one another and forced ourselves to take alternate paths, then we would be able to avert a catastrophic demise. The only problem was that my heart still yearned for Gregory and I didn’t know how to turn love off. My only hope was that time would help ease the pain.

It looked like the second week was going to prove to be much of the same except we had several people out at work and I found myself working from before 7:00 AM and not getting home until about 9:00 PM. I was exhausted every day and the nightmares didn’t stop. I wanted to call Gregory and tell him the chaos continued; that my test had failed. However, my mind told me that it could be mere coincidence and to keep pressing forward.

About a week into this crazy schedule, I walked in the door about 10 PM. Mom was waiting up to fix me dinner. “Just a smoothie, tonight, Mom,” I told her when she asked what I would like.

“Jordan, I know you are tired, but we need to talk. Please take a seat in the dining room and I will bring it out to you.”

I did as Mom asked, sitting down in one of the side dining chairs.

As soon as she placed the smoothie in front of me, I was quick to grab it and start drinking. I was hungry and it hit the spot.

Mom grabbed the chair closest to me, where she could look me in the eyes. This was not going to be a regular discussion.

She patted my hand. “I’m concerned about you, Jordan. Since your ‘break time’ with Gregory, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep at nights, pouring yourself into your work, and when you are not sleeping or working, you’re moping around here looking miserable.

“I think this has gone on long enough. You’re hiding something from me and I want to know what it is.”

I continued drinking my smoothie as I tried to gather my thoughts. I could not divulge what I had found out in Virginia, but I couldn’t continue down the path I was headed, either.

Tears started forming at the corners of my eyes. Mom leaned over and gave me a hug “Take your time, but I need to understand why you are going through all this.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Why Gregory and you are taking a ‘time out’?”

“I told you, Mom. I got spooked and felt we needed some time apart to reexamine our lives.”

“I don’t buy it Jordan. Look me in the eyes and tell me, do you still have feelings for him?”

I conceded. “Yes.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes, with all my heart.”

“Then help me to understand why you are pushing him away if you love him this much.”

I was passed the point of exhaustion and just blurted out, “Because I don’t want to hurt you or him.”

Puzzled by my response, Mom asked, “How are you going to hurt either of us?”

I knew I couldn’t fight the truth any more. “Could I speak to you about a hypothetical situation?”

“Certainly.” She gave my hand a squeeze.

“Let’s say that you discovered your life was part of a great destiny or fate. You and your intended love found out that you were both created for a higher purpose in life. But, at the same time, you discover you’ve lived before, in the past, where things failed miserably. So, you were given chances, in a future life, with the hope that you would one day succeed.

“You start to discover why and how things failed and the tragedy of it. You realize that this could be your own fate, again. Wouldn’t you try to alter it by changing the current course, hoping that life would change back and you could protect the ones you love? Even if it makes you miserable in the process?” I finished with a deep sigh of relief that I had, in a roundabout way, told Mom what was going on, minus the details.

Mom got up and gave me the biggest hug I think I had ever received from her and then sat back down. “Are you concerned about possibly leaving me alone?”

I broke down in tears. “Yes,” I sobbed.

She handed me some tissue. “Sweetie, your father and I knew you had some destiny to fulfill when you were born. We never said anything, because we thought we had imagined it and were trying to protect you.”

I looked up at her, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

She leaned back in her chair and began to explain. “On the day you were born, a handsome male nurse, with long, tied back blonde hair and a brilliant glow about him, brought you into our room from the nursery, for your father and me to hold.

“The moment he stepped into our room it seemed like the world around us slowed down to a crawl. We thought we were just awestruck by how beautiful you were, so we didn’t pay much attention to anything else.

“As I held and gave you a bottle, your father put his hand on top of the hand that was supporting your legs and commented about how you would grow up to do many wonderful things.

“The nurse, Ray, placed his hand on top of ours and we felt instant peace and love in the room. He told us to take extra special care of you, as you were part of a greater destiny in life that could save many.”

My eyes dried up and I was awestruck by my mother’s words. “Your father and I looked at each other and turned to ask Ray what he meant, but there was a burst of bright light and standing in his place was a female nurse named Kate.

“We asked Kate where Ray had gone. She wondered who we meant and we told her the nurse who had brought you in for us to feed you. She looked at us like we were crazy and had stated that she brought you to us, explaining that male nurses were not allowed to work in the nursery.

“We were more than a little puzzled and concerned at that point. Then, when you were done with your bottle, I held you close and a large, white feather dropped from your blanket. At that point we knew we had a special visitor.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?” My voice was filled with hurt. “I needed to know!”

“We thought we might have been mistaken and maybe dreamed it, until...” She stopped, knowing I would ask for more information.

“Until what, Mom?”

“Remember in the hospital when your father told you that he saw a bright aura about you and how angels are drawn to you, one in particular?”

“Yes. Why?”

“After you left that day, your father told me that the angel that watches over you is the same nurse Ray, which we encountered on the day you were born.”

I shook my head. “So, why did you wait for months, now, to tell me?”

“I was hoping it was just your dad’s mind playing tricks on him.”

Just when I thought my mother could not shock me with any more information, she said, “You don’t ever need to be afraid of telling me anything. Pushing Gregory away for the sake of me could end up causing more harm than good. Look at how chaotic your life has been since you have been apart, versus how your life was when you spent a lot of time with each other.

“Life is full of risks, Jordan. We never know if we have several years, let alone the next several seconds left to live. So, you cannot let fear of what might happen rule your life and worry about how it may affect others.”

“You’re right, Mom. My life has been nothing but chaos since I pushed him away. I feel as though half of me is missing.”

“Then call him.”

I grabbed the phone and looked at the clock and realized it was already nearing midnight. “I’ll try calling tomorrow from work, if time allows. If not, then I will call him when I get home.”

At that moment, I yawned, loudly.

“Go ahead to bed and get some sleep. Don’t worry about anything, Sweetie. Life has a way of making things right and when you have true love on your side, anything is possible.” Mom gave me a big squeeze and whispered in my ear, “I love you. Don’t forget that.”

“I love you, too, Mom. I always will!” I hugged her and headed to my bedroom.

When I got in bed, I contemplated calling Gregory, even at this late hour. But, I ended up falling asleep in my work clothes, finally getting some much needed rest, thanks to exhaustion

I woke up with a renewed sense of courage and hope in my heart.

I was happy to see the smiling faces of some of my co-workers, who had been sick earlier in the week. I hoped that I would be able to complete my work and find time for my much needed phone call to Gregory. But no such luck.

By noon, the front desk was bombarded with appointment calls, so all of us on the back-up list were put into motion.

I was thankful when lunchtime rolled around so I could put my phone on “Do Not Disturb” for at least an hour. I grabbed the lunch Mom had packed and ate while I worked on my reports, thankfully finishing the last one with only moments to spare.

The afternoon continued with a barrage of non-stop phone calls. I was elated when the office announced that the phones had been switched over to the answering service.

I grabbed my purse, dropped the reports off on Caroline’s desk and was out the door. I felt like I couldn’t get to my car fast enough.

Naturally, the Friday, quitting time, traffic was impossible. The pace was continued stop and go through several outlying cities. There was no way I could make a phone call and try concentrating to drive in this mess.

Finally, I made my way to the Deland exit and found similar circumstances on the main highway through the south end of town.

Since I was stopped at a red light I took the opportunity to call Gregory. At that moment, I heard a car’s engine revving up and tires squeal as it peeled out from the pavement. I only looked up in time to see a black SUV, with a dark cloud around it, coming straight at me. I cried out. “Protect me, please!”

I heard a loud bang as pain rocked every portion of my body and everything went black.

“Jordan? Jordan! Can you hear me? Hang on, Sweetie, help is on the way.”
Was that his voice, or was I dreaming?

“Someone grab me a tire iron, hammer, anything you have. I need to break her window to get to her.”

His voice was so close, it felt like a dream. I tried to move to unlock the door, but my body refused to cooperate. Suddenly, the locks opened on their own.

There was an influx of humid outside air as the car door opened. I felt someone reach across me to turn off my vehicle.

“Jordan, Honey, can you hear me?” Gregory’s voice was full of the same love I remembered two weeks ago.

I felt one of his hands caress my face and then felt some pressure to my forehead and winced.

“Sorry. You have a deep cut on your forehead and I’m trying to put some pressure on it to slow the bleeding.”

My eyes managed to open just enough to see that I wasn’t dreaming. Gregory was there beside me.

Weakly I asked, “You’re here. How?”

“I couldn’t bear living another second without you in my life. I was on my way to your mother’s house to see if you would talk to me and end this crazy experiment. I don’t know how your life has been, but mine has been filled with extreme pandemonium.