I Speak...Love (A Different Road #3) (18 page)

“Nothing is wrong,” I finally reply.

“I have to cover a few classes tomorrow, but I’m coming to pick you up for dinner,” she says.

“That’s dumb, you live two doors down from where dinner is. Why would you drive out of town to pick me up, then drive back again?” I ask.

“Because, I have the sneaking suspicion that if I don’t, you’re not going to come to dinner,” she answers.

She’s right. I’m thinking about packing up my ratty backpack and catching the next bus out of town. Then I think about Stephen and the fact that he never got to say goodbye to his parents. I don’t want to leave everyone that way with how I’ve been treating them. They don’t know it, but tomorrow is that last time they’ll see me.

“Fine,” I reply.

“OK,” she agrees. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says.

“Bye,” I say, then quickly hang up, so I don’t have to continue the conversation.

I know that since I won’t be inviting Stephen to dinner, he won’t be there tomorrow. I need to give him back his camera today. I get out of the van and walk inside the house without pausing. Why pause, when it’s over now? I open the closet, grab the backpack, then head back to my van and drive back into town.

I drive through the parking lot and check for Stephen’s car before I fully commit to it. I don’t see his car, so I park and take the elevator to his floor. Caleigh’s head immediately pops up, but her toothy smile is missing. She eyes me as I walk over to her desk. I place the backpack on the floor next to her desk, unable to look at her. My heart is truly breaking. I didn’t think it was going to be this hard. Not giving the camera back itself, but the decision to never see any of these people that have crept their way into my broken heart ever again.

I turn around holding in the tears, but before I can take one step, Caleigh calls my name, “Maddy.” I stop, but can’t turn around. I hear her get up from her chair, then she appears in front of me. “I don’t know what happened, and it’s none of my business, but I want you to know that you’ve been so good for him. He hasn’t been at work all week,” she says. It’s then I raise my head and look at her. Why hasn’t he been at work? “But before whatever just happened, he was happy. I’ve never seen him so happy, Maddy, and it was all because of you,” she finishes.

She moves to hug me, but I take a step backward. Her face fills with sadness and disappointment. I just can’t take all of this disappointment. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then take a step forward, and raise my arms. Before I can touch her, she’s in my arms squeezing me tight. Her hand runs up and down my back, then she lets me go with a final pat.

I drive back to Joss and Nina’s house and pack the few worthless belongings that I own.

Saturday afternoon as Kate knocks on the front door, I put the happy, crumpled up photo of me on the counter, then I place my backpack with all my belongings in the hallway. I open the door, and quickly walk outside, closing it behind me. Kate eyes me with suspicion, but decides to let it go. We walk to the vehicle parked in the driveway. It’s Cooper’s convertible and the top is down. Sadie is sitting in the driver’s seat, and the second she sees Kate coming back, she hops into the back seat. Kate opens the door and slips in the seat while she places a pair of designer sunglasses on her face. I get in and take a deep breath. Before she starts the car, she turns her head to me, lowers her sunglasses down her nose, and gives me
that
look. One of her eyes squints, and I’ll be damned, but I swear, she can read my thoughts, and she knows exactly what I’m going to do after dinner.

She pushes her sunglasses back up her nose with her index finger, then she starts the car. She drives to River’s house and while she pulls in the driveway, I look around for Stephen’s car. I sigh with relief when I don’t see it.

Kate opens the front door, then Sadie joyfully trots inside and greets everyone, happily wagging her tail.

“Hey, Sadie girl,” Cooper coos at her, patting her on the head.

The second I walk through the front door, I feel it, or I should say . . . him. The heavy, thick weight of sorrow and disappointment is prominent in the room and it attaches to my chest like a lead weight. My eyes immediately go to Stephen standing in the center of the room. Even though he looks tired, and he has dark circles under his eyes, he still makes my heart jump in my chest. My eyes travel slowly down his body, and he’s still wearing the leather cuff around his wrist that I gave him. I swallow a huge lump in my throat as my eyes travel down his worn, faded blue jeans. Sitting on the floor next to his chucks is a black backpack . . . my black camera backpack.

“What’s going on?” Kate asks, looking between the two of us.

“What do you mean, what’s going on?” Joss asks, coming out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

A minute after that, everyone else walks into the family room, then stares at Stephen and me, staring at each other.

“Are you the reason Maddy is leaving town?” Kate accuses, raising her voice as she points at Stephen.

“What?” Nina snaps, enunciating the last letter. “Maddy, you’re leaving?” she continues. “Were you going to say anything to Joss and me?”

The room suddenly starts to close in on me, and I close my eyes. For the love of God, for once in my life can I just disappear? I hear footsteps coming closer and with each step, my skin becomes more and more heightened. I hear the distinct sound of my backpack set on the floor next to my feet, but it feels more like a deadly cobra ready to strike.

“I want . . .” Stephen starts, but stops and exhales a sigh. “I
need
you to have this back,” he whispers.

I shake my head no. I just can’t. Good things are only meant for special people. I’m not special. When good things happen to unspecial people, bad things happen. I’m nobody, I’m nothing.

“Is this why you were so rude to Courtney?” Nina asks.

“Nina,” Joss warns, behind her.

“Please, don’t go,” Stephen whispers.

“Maddy, talk to me,” Kate says next to me.

“After everything we’ve done for you, you’re not going to at least give us a two-week notice?” Nina asks, getting more upset.

“Nina!” Joss says, louder.

“What? I have a right to ask. She’s
our
employee. Why aren’t you more upset about this?” Nina fires back at Joss.

“I warned you, Stephen,” River says.

What did he warn Stephen about? Me?

“River, don’t!” Joss urges.

I feel like I’m standing in the center of a funhouse surrounded by hundreds of mirrors. In each reflection is a person from my past and present, pointing their fingers at me telling me what a loser I am. They’re all talking at the same time, and I can’t breathe.

“I can fix this,” Stephen whispers, taking my hand.

“No,” I whisper back, opening my eyes.

He can’t.

He can’t ever tell Kate the truth. It will destroy her. I look at Kate and feel completely helpless. I feel like a failure. I should never have let anyone of these people get so close to me.

“Why are you looking at me like that? This has something to do with me?” Kate asks as her voice increases several octaves.

Sadie immediately walks to Kate’s side. Her beautiful black body leans against the side of her leg, and she whines.

“Kate,” I plead, as a tear falls down my cheek.

“You’re an ungrateful little bitch if you leave us high and dry,” Nina roars.

“NINA!” Joss yells.

No! All the mirrors crack and shatter at the same time.

My head snaps up, and I quickly look into Stephen’s eyes as pure, unadulterated rage fills his entire body, and he travels back in time to that fifteen-year-old little boy. Nina just called me a bitch. She can yell and swear at me all she wants. I truly deserve it. But why . . . WHY did she have to say the one word that Stephen called his mother? I raise my hands and put them on Stephen’s chest, but it’s too late, he’s already moving toward Nina.

“Don’t you
ever
call her that again!” he roars in Nina’s face.

“Back the fuck up, man! NOW!” Josh shouts a stern warning, as he places himself between Stephen and Nina.

Josh pushes Stephen back a few steps, then he gently moves Nina behind his back, protecting her. I know in my heart Stephen would never hurt Nina. Stephen would never hurt anyone.

“Stop it! Everyone just stop it! This is my fault! I’ll leave,” I say, then turn around and walk toward the door.

Stephen quickly walks up behind me and places his hand in mine.

“Please, don’t go. I can fix this,” he says in a hoarse voice, not letting go of my hand.

“No. Stephen, please no,” I cry, hanging my head.

I turn back around, but I can’t bring myself to look him directly in the eyes. Tears fall from my eyelashes, drip off my chin, and splash to the floor.

“I told Maddy something, and it’s time everyone else knows the truth, too,” he starts.

“Stephen, please, no,” I beg, looking into his eyes, pleading for him to stop.

“I’ve held on to these secrets for far too long. They’ve literally been eating me alive, so much so that I don’t have anything left to lose, except for you. I can’t lose you, Maddy. It was my best friend, Jay, driving the other car that killed mom and dad. He was on his way to pick me up to take me to a party so we could get drunk. I didn’t know it at first, but he had already gotten drunk before he left to pick me up,” he says.

“WHAT?” Kate yells.

I look at River, as Joss’s face fills with fear. She puts her hands on his chest, then I see him ball his hands into fists. I physically shudder at the sound of River’s knuckles cracking in his clenched fists, but Stephen keeps talking.

“Please stop talking,” I whisper.

“It’s my fault they’re dead, Kate. I knew you blamed yourself, and all these years, I let you,” he says.

As if Sadie can understand every word being said, her snout immediately lifts up to Kate, and she puts her nose inside Kate’s hand like she has done countless times before.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” River roars.

Joss’s whole body flinches as River shouts, then he takes a step closer to Stephen. She physically tries to hold him back, but he again takes another step closer to Stephen. River’s anger is palpable and quickly fills the room.

“River, don’t do this! I can’t go through this again! We talked about this. You promised me,” Joss warns River.

River was a complete ass to Kate, and it took a huge toll on Joss and River’s relationship.

“Kate,” Stephen says, lowering his voice.

“Stephen, please for the love of God, stop talking,” I plead one last time.

Cooper wraps his arm protectively around Kate as tears spill uncontrollably down her devastated face.

“A few weeks before you guys were going on vacation, I broke into one of Dad’s desk drawers. I came across the legal documents for . . .” I silently plead one last time with my eyes for him to please not say it. He shakes his head no, then continues, “Kate, they were the legal documents for your adoption,” he says, looking at Kate.

Just like that, all the air in the room disappears as everyone stops breathing at the same time. The only sound in the room is the echo of Kate’s crushing inhale.