I Survived Seattle (9 page)

“Okay. Do you know what…pulled the trigger this time?”

Justice gave him a crooked smile and his cheeks turned pink. It was better than the ghostly pale he had been a few minutes ago. “I don’t usually do this kind of thing.”

“What? Date men?”

Justice’s eyes widened comically and he shook his head. “No, I’ve liked men as far back as I can remember liking anyone. What I meant was, I don’t usually go home with strangers. I’m not really a casual sex kind of guy.” Justice clapped his hand over his mouth, a gesture that Nic was coming to associate with him. “I mean, not that we’re…I wasn’t expecting…we don’t have to…
fuck
.”

“Exactly,” Nic said with a chuckle and watched the blush creep down Justice’s neck. “Strangers?” He put a hand over his heart and gave Justice a mock pained look. “I’m hurt. The plane, the bar, the boat…we’re practically old friends. Strangers.”

Justice honest to God giggled, and the sound warmed Nic’s heart. His goal had been to take the kid’s mind off the panic attack and it seemed to be working, though the meds probably had a bit to do with it as well.

Sobering just as quickly, Justice continued own with his explanation. “One of my triggers seems to be getting myself into unfamiliar situations, or situations I can’t control. No matter how much I might
want
to be in the situation.

“When I was a little kid, whenever I’d get invited to go somewhere cool like Six Flags or something, I’d get
so
excited…but, usually the day of, I’d have to beg off because I was feeling sick. My parents usually assumed I was faking because I didn’t want to go. There just wasn’t enough information out there about anxiety disorders back then.”

“That sounds terrible,” Nic said sincerely. He wanted to steer the conversation away from the anxiety and back onto safer ground. “Is there anything we —I can do to make you more comfortable?”

“Just talk. Act normal. Knowing you know will make it better, but if you just talk to me, it will help me calm down. It may not always seem like I’m listening, but I am. Once I start babbling on like a crazy person, you’ll know I’m starting to come down.”

“Talk. Okay. What do you want to talk about?” He probably shouldn’t ask that. What if Justice couldn’t think in his state of mind? What if it made him more anxious?

Justice took another of many deep breaths and closed his eyes. Nic slid down and turned over, so that he was lying parallel to Justice, facing him. Justice pushed a damp, flopping curl off of his forehead and managed a weak smile.

“Well, I
have
been wondering one thing.”

“Shoot.”

“I could be wrong, but you don’t look like a millionaire. Um, no offense. How were you able to buy this huge yacht and start your own charter business?” He ducked his head into the pillow. “That’s probably rude, isn’t it? The anxiety disorder makes me a bit socially inept.”

God, he was freaking adorable. Nic already wanted to keep him, and damned if that wasn’t scary. “I’m not easily offended. Believe it or not, I get asked that a lot. My father was in the Navy, and was sent to Vietnam. He was so young when he enlisted, when he came back, he didn’t have a lot of prospects.

“He was working at the Pike Place fish market when he met Alfred Maddox. Alfred was a former Navy captain who ran a charter business. He sort of took Dad under his wing, and Dad went to work as a shipman on this very yacht. He saved his money, barely spent a dime before he met my mom, and eventually bought in as Alfred’s partner.

“When Al was ready to retire, he turned the day to day running of the business over to my dad and became more of a silent partner. Five years later he passed away and deeded the boat to Dad.”

Nic was sure he must be boring Justice to tears, but when he glanced over, the kid’s eyes were riveted to his face. “Wow. So how did you get it?”

“Basically the same way. I had a trust fund set up by my grandparents and I had some left over after college. So I bought into the business with Dad. And when he…when we lost him, he left the boat to me, along with his little ketch.”

“Ketch?”

“Sorry, sailboat.”

“I’m sorry about your dad. Was it recent?”

Nic cleared his throat and waited until he felt like he could speak without breaking down. He so didn’t want to talk about his dad. “Yeah, it was. That’s why I was on that plane. I’d gone to the funeral.”

“Christ,” Justice hissed. “And here I am, dredging up all the memories. I’m so sorry.”

Nic reached out and captured Justice’s hand, twining their fingers together. Something about the contact just felt right. “It’s really all right. All of the memories are good ones. But I want to know more about you.”

Justice yawned so wide that his jaw cracked audibly, and then he stretched his arms above his head, arching his back. Nic’s mouth watered. There had to be some law against lusting after a man afflicted with a panic attack, but he couldn’t help it, any more than he could help the rising hardness behind his zipper.

“Sorry,” Justice said, his voice slurring slightly. “The attacks plus the medication usually wipe me out. What do you want to know?”

“Are you really not out?”

“Yeah, I’m really not. I tried to come out once. It didn’t go well.” Justice’s voice was flat, emotionless.

“So no one knows?”

White hot anger flashed in Justice’s eyes for a brief moment before his face cleared. “No one who matters anymore. Except you.”

“So I take it you’re not close to your family.”

Something akin to revulsion crossed his face. Justice leaned forward and grabbed the back of Nic’s neck. “Enough talk.” He yanked hard, pulling Nic toward him until they were flush. He took Nic’s mouth in a heated, almost frantic kiss. It was a kiss designed to distract, to deflect. To hide.

Nic wasn’t having it. He gripped Justice’s jaw in his hand, easing him back until their lips were barely connected. He licked Justice’s silky lips before nipping first the upper then the lower lip.

He smiled to himself when he felt a shudder ripple through Justice. Kisses were for passion, for lust, not manipulation. Finally he felt Justice acquiesce, opening to him, letting him in. Nic lazily explored Justice’s mouth for what could have been hours, stroking his hands up and down his back, mapping his musculature and committing it to memory.

Abruptly, Justice broke the kiss and turned his head to yawn. “Sorry,” he said with a sheepish blush.

Nic traced Justice’s eyebrows with his thumb, and those incredible green eyes fluttered closed.

“Why don’t you get some sleep? We got all the time in the world. You’re on vacation, and I’m the boss, so it’s not like we have anywhere to be.”

“If you don’t mind…”

“I don’t. Not at all,” Nic said gently.

He started to get up when Justice grabbed his wrist. “Stay. Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere, darlin.’ Just going to get the light.” Nic crossed the room and flipped the lights off. Coming back to the bed, he pulled his shirt off over his head, but left his jeans on. He didn’t want Justice to feel pressured.

Nic lay down beside Justice, unsure of what was expected of him. He was surprised when he felt hands close around his waist, pulling him closer. He took the hint and snuggled up, tucking Justice’s head under his chin. He hadn’t known he was so tired, but as soon as he heard Justice’s breath even out, Nic let sleep take him under.

Chapter Eleven

Darkness. Justice awoke to a pitch black, swaying world and for a moment, he had no idea where he was. And then he felt the warmth radiating beside him. He reached out a hand and it came in contact with a smooth, solid wall of man.

Nic. In bed. Or rather,
he
was in
Nic’s
bed. Justice rolled over onto his back with a soft groan. He’d had a complete and total meltdown, in front of the hottest guy he’d ever been with…one with whom he was supposed to have been on a date. How fucking embarrassing. The worst part was that he felt fine now —now that it was too late. He always did. After the attack, after the meds, after the nap, he felt good as new.

As he listened to Nic’s deep breathing beside him, Justice had an idea. Maybe their date could be salvaged. He could think of an interesting way to wake Nic and they could pick up where they left off. Wherever that was.

Sometime during the night, Nic had stripped down to his boxers, but had covered himself with the comforter while Justice remained on top of it. Wiggling off the cover, Justice peeled it back away from Nic and kicked it down to the end of the bed.

Justice swallowed as he took in the other man in all his almost naked glory. He was more perfect than Justice had imagined, and he couldn’t keep his hands to himself a minute longer.

With a whisper of a touch, he ran his hands up Nic’s muscular legs, enjoying the tickle of the crinkling hair on his palms. Justice promised himself he’d play later, but he didn’t want Nic to wake up before he got started on the main event.

Justice hooked his fingers into the waistband of Nic’s boxer-briefs and gently pulled them down, revealing a heavy erection. Nic’s cock was gorgeous, long and thick, with a wide flared head. Justice couldn’t wait to taste him.

The throbbing flesh was hot and hard in his hand when he gave it a couple of slow pumps. Watching Nic’s face closely for signs of waking, Justice lowered his face and swiped his tongue along Nic’s cock from root to tip. Nic took a shuddering breath and a muscle in his cheek twitched, but he stayed asleep.

Justice swirled his tongue around the head of Nic’s cock, teasing the slit. Nic’s hips canted up of the bed and he groaned in his sleep. The rise and fall of his chest had begun to speed up as his breath increased.

A smirk tugged at Justice’s lips. He loved the idea of having this beautiful man at his mercy, even for only a moment. Nic’s dick filled even more, sticking straight up, flat against his abdomen. When Justice teased the underside of the head with his tongue, it gave a little twitch.

As he engulfed Nic’s length with his mouth, he chuckled on the way down, allowing the vibrations to add to the sensation. He used one hand to work the root as he slid his mouth up and down, moaning quietly at the taste, and his other hand tugged on Nic’s balls.

Nic’s body bowed up off the bed and he flung his head back into the pillow. Justice’s eyes had adjusted to the low light, so he enjoyed the view as he sucked with enthusiasm. Corded muscle stood out as Nic’s neck stretched into a curve, and his strong jaw was clenched. Cast in shadow from the dim moonlight that shone through the window, his cheekbones looked sharp enough to cut glass. His full lips parted on a breathy moan.

Justice smiled around his mouthful as Nic’s eyelids fluttered open. Sliding his lips all the way down to the root of Nic’s cock, Justice swallowed, his throat massaging the plump head. He saw a brief flash of that Caribbean blue gaze before Nic’s eyes rolled back.

Humming, Justice swallowed hard again, pulling an agonized grunt from Nic. He threaded a hand through Justice’s hair and tugged gently. “Jesus…
fuck!
Justice, you know you don’t have to do that,” he ground out, shaking with the effort not to thrust.

Justice pulled off Nic’s cock with a popping sound and gave Nic a mock glare. “Shut up,” he said, getting back to his task.

“Mmmm,” was Nic’s only answer. He dropped his head back again with a full body shudder.

Justice rotated his body so that he was facing Nic’s feet, the toes of which were currently curling, and he draped himself over Nic’s torso. While it wasn’t quite a traditional sixty-nine, it gave Nic easy access to his denim-clad ass.

Nic took the hint and began to grope blindly, growling when he encountered the offending material. He tugged hard at the waistband. “Off. Get. Them. Off.” He punctuated each word with a roll of his hips, pushing his cock further into Justice’s mouth.

A tangy drop of precum coated his tongue, and the jeans were suddenly entirely too tight to accommodate Justice’s growing erection. He pulled off momentarily to yank off his shirt and wiggle out of his jeans. It wasn’t graceful but it was fucking fast, and that was all either of them cared about.

Justice went on the attack, leaning over Nic until his chest was pressed against Nic’s abdomen. He hooked his arms underneath Nic’s legs to spread them, and swallowed down the cock that was teasing his lips. He sucked voraciously, using his tongue to swirl around the head on the upswing.

Nic let out ragged cry and arched his back, every muscle in his body taught as a bowstring. “Jus…” He sighed, groping blindly for Justice’s erection. When he couldn’t reach, he gave up and settled for playing with Justice’s ass.

Justice moaned around his mouthful as a thick finger circled his hole. He redoubled his efforts, reaching under to grab Nic’s balls. He rolled them around with his fingers as he paid special attention to the bundle of nerves on the underside of the cock head. Nic abandoned Justice’s ass and grabbed a handful of his hair, holding him steady as Nic thrust into his mouth.

He felt Nic’s balls draw up in his hand so he slid all the way down on Nic’s cock and swallowed, massaging the head with his throat and at the same time, giving his balls a good tug. Nic grunted and used his handful of Justice’s hair to hold him down while Nic pumped spurt after spurt of cum down his throat. It was forceful, but in a way that felt so good. Justice didn’t play around with BDSM, but he did enjoy a man who wasn’t afraid to get a little rough with him. He wasn’t a chick, he wouldn’t break.