If I Loved You (Hollywood Hearts 1) (6 page)

She nodded.

“Okay. Two churrasco Gaucho and two more Caipirinhas, please.”

“Here,” Megan tucked one set of papers into an envelope. “After I finish another drink, I’m not sure I’ll remember what P/E is myself.”

Chaz tucked the envelope between them on the bench. Two more drinks arrived and Megan settled back into the comfortable booth.

Twenty questions time.
“How did you get into acting?” She turned to face him.

He shifted in the booth as if looking for a more comfortable position.

“That’s a very boring story. Let’s talk about you.” He sat back and picked up his water glass.

“I’m the boring one here. Come on. Some privileged childhood, then Yale School of Drama? Didn’t know what else to do with your life?”

Chaz laughed a mirthless laugh. His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Quite the opposite.”

The waiter placed fresh drinks on the table.

“Come on. Share.” She sipped on the new drink.

His eyes narrowed. His face became a shuttered mask. An invisible wall sprang up between them.
Crap! What have I done? Where did he go?

‘My life story is not public knowledge….and I like it that way.” His eyes darkened.

“It’s me, your financial advisor. Confidentiality is my middle name.” Meg put her hand on top of his.

“That’s what they all say. I’ve seen more careers ruined by loose lips. Never gonna happen to me.” Chaz slipped his hand out from under hers.

The chill in the air made Megan shiver. Suddenly, Chaz was a million miles away.
Nice going, Meg. Way to build confidence.
“You think I’d ruin your career?”

“Maybe not directly, but if you told someone else…celebrity gossip is too juicy not to share.” He picked up his drink.

“I’d never break your confidence.”

“Really? And when a friend pressures you about the
real
me?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“I don’t have a lot of friends.”

“All it takes is one.” Chaz took a healthy sip.

“You have trust issues, don’t you?” Meg softened her tone.

“I’m not stupid. I’ve worked hard to get where I am. I’m not about to blow it shooting my mouth off to a woman.” The heat of anger edged his voice.

Megan jerked back as if he had slapped her across the face. “I’m sorry you feel that way about me.” Emotion gathered in her throat, making speech impossible.

“It’s not you, it’s…everybody.” Chaz placed his hand on hers, but Megan moved away.

They drank in silence for a while. Meg frantically searched her brain for a secret to share.

“How about I reveal a deep, dark secret about me?”

“It’s not the same. Don’t take offense, but you’re not a celebrity.”

“Maybe you can’t use it, but it takes a level of trust to tell you something I’ve never told anyone before.” He snapped to attention, his eyes focused on her face.

The wall of ice between them melted a bit. Megan noticed his expression soften. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to. It’s time I told someone the truth, anyway.” Emotion welled in her chest.

“It won’t change how I feel about my past.” He raised his palm to her.

“If you don’t want me to tell you…” She took a sip of her water to moisten her suddenly dry mouth.

“Please…please...I’d like to hear.” This time his fingers wrapped around hers before she could pull her hand away. Chaz summoned the waiter and ordered another round.

Megan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Rapid blinking kept her tears at bay.  She gathered her thoughts and closed her small fingers around his thumb. “My father disappeared.”

“What?”

“My dad disappeared.” She let out a breath slowly.

Her statement captured his full attention. His mask dissolved.

“My dad loved to climb mountains…hike. He was an outdoors type of guy. Mom was, still is, a homebody. He’d go hiking three times a year with a club, a group of friends…” Her chest tightened as the memory became crystal clear. “On the day he left for his last hiking trip, he and my mom had a terrible fight. They never got along too well to begin with but this one was rip-roaring. He stalked off…we never heard from him again.”

“Did you contact his hiking buddies?”

She nodded, her hand gripping her drink. “We did. We called the police. We checked everywhere. Seems after their trip, his buddies went one way, he went another. My mother thought he deserted us.”

There was silence as Chaz captured her hand in both of his. “My dad and I got along really well. We kind of understood each other. My mother always preferred Mark. I’ve never accepted he left us…deserted us.”

“How old were you when this happened?”

“Fifteen and I still miss him.”

“Not a word from him since?”

Emotion choked Megan. A lump formed in her throat, cutting off words. She shook her head. Tears
—previously held at bay—spilled over, running down her cheeks. Chaz folded her in his arms and held her tight. She closed her eyes, letting the heat from his body and the strength of his arms soothe her.

“I’m honored you chose to tell me,” he whispered as his hand stroked her hair.

Megan regained her composure and leaned back away from him.

“What about your mother…and Mark? What did they think?”

“Mark blamed my mother and my dad. He’s never forgiven either of them. My mother divorced my father…abandonment. But she’s never forgiven him either.

“And you? Do you forgive him?”

“When he didn’t show for graduation or get in touch with us…I assumed he died somehow. With Mark’s triumphs…Dad would never…never…” her voice cracked, “have deserted us. Mark’s ashamed…he doesn’t want anyone to know. He hasn’t told a soul. None of his teammates…no one.” She fumbled in her purse, looking for a hanky, avoiding Chaz’s sympathetic stare. He traced a tear then wiped it off her face with his thumb.

Mark! Shit! Mark!
Meg’s hands went cold, the color drained from her face, and a shiver ran up her spine.
If Chaz tells anyone...
“I never should have told you…he’ll kill me if this comes out. Oh God, if this hits the papers…please…please.” Her eyes got wide. Her hands twisted the hanky while she chewed her lip.
What am I doing? He’s not my friend. He’s a business associate.

A small smile raised the corners of Chaz’s mouth.

The waiter delivered more drinks.

“Now you understand how I feel…about revealing my past.”

God, he’s right.

Chaz leaned over, planting a gentle kiss on her lips. “I’ll take your secret to the grave.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, her lower lip trembling.

Megan took a big gulp of her drink as a tiny shudder reverberated through her body. A second gulp of the Caipirinha brought warmth rushing through her veins, calming her emotions. She let out a breath.

Chaz leaned back when the waiter arrived with their food. The clatter of plates broke the somber mood.

“This looks great,” she said, eyeing her plate piled high with steak, rice,
beans and farofa.

When dinner was over, Chaz flipped open his cell phone. Megan put her hand over the
speaker. “It’s nice out. Let’s walk. It’s almost dark enough most people won’t recognize you.”

He dialed the phone. “Walking home, Bobby. Catch you later.”

They strolled up Sixth Avenue until they came to Central Park at Fifty-Ninth Street.

“Through the park?”

“It’s late…kind of dangerous.”

“Not until after midnight. Come on. Be adventurous.” He offered his hand. His brilliant smile warmed her. He laced his fingers with hers, leading her into the park and onto the path
winding north.

Chapter Four

The breeze picked up, making Megan wrap her arms around her torso for warmth. Chaz took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. The rustling of the trees, green with new spring leaves, made pleasant music as they moseyed along the path—in no hurry to reach their destination.

“It must have been horrible for you…when your dad disappeared.”

“For a long time I expected him to come walking in the door. So many years have gone by with no contact at all. I can’t believe he’d leave us without a word.”

Chaz draped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to him. She sighed and fell into step with him.

“My life was no bed of roses either.”

Megan looked at him.

“If this hits the papers, I’ll know where it came from,” he warned.

Megan crossed her heart with her finger. “I promise.”

“My mother was a crack addict. I was born in the South Bronx without a dad. When I was nine, Mom died from an overdose. I went to live in foster homes. I escaped into fantasy…the only way I could deal with my life. One day, I became a brilliant scientist…the next, a superhero incognito…anyone except who I really was. Make-believe kept me sane, though my teachers didn’t appreciate it. Foster parents thought I was nuts. I got shuffled from one foster home to another.”

Megan gasped, unable to stop herself.

“One middle school teacher, Emily Gold, took pity on me. She encouraged my fantasies, which she referred to as ‘acting.’ Mrs. Gold made me the star of the school play. Once I heard applause, I was hooked.”

She snaked her arm around his waist and gave a little squeeze.

“Before long, Emily and her husband Max took me in as a foster child. With their help, my grades soared. I got into LaGuardia High School’s acting program. From there, Yale School of Drama…the rest is pretty boring.”

“I had it all wrong.”

“Most people do. Especially when they hear Yale. I was on full scholarship there.”

“How terrible for you
—to go through all that. Full scholarship…wow! Not easy. So amazing where you ended up.”

“Tough times made me self-sufficient.”

“What happened to Emily and Max?”

“They were in their sixties when I went to live with them. I’m thirty-two now. Do the math. They’ve both passed on.”

“I’m so sorry, Chaz.” She squeezed his arm.

By the time Chaz finished his story, they had reached the park exit leading to her building. “It’s not a pretty story. I don’t want it public. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.” Chaz stopped.

She recognized the pain that flickered deep inside his dark orbs. She caught a glimpse of the boy he once had been crouched there alone in darkness.

“Of course. I understand…but it’s not a finished story, either.”

“I’m a work-in-progress, for sure.” He laughed.

“I won’t tell anyone…promise.” She smoothed the hair on his forehead off to the side.

His chest rose as he took a deep breath. A look of relief flashed across his features.
He never told that to anyone? Trust? Does he trust me?

Chaz pulled her into the shadows and pressed his lips to hers. He threaded his fingers in her hair while he deepened the kiss. The moment the tip of his tongue touched hers a tingle shot all the way to her toes. When he finally let her go, Megan could barely breathe.

“I wish I could make it better…” She mumbled, cupping his face with her hand.

“You just did.” A grin tugged at one side of his mouth.

He’s not the guy I thought he was at all.

“Don’t know why I’m trusting you with that…I hardly know you.” His brows knitted.

“I wouldn’t disclose that to anyone…on pain of death.”

“Maybe you don’t have to go that far. Just don’t post it on
Facebook
, okay?”

“Never.” Megan stood close enough to feel heat from his chest.

“Thanks.” He brushed his fingertips across her forehead. “Guess if I’m going to trust you with seven million dollars, I can trust you with my most precious secret.”

They continued out of the park and up Central Park West, walking through shadows and the light from streetlamps.

Business, Megan!

The pair stopped to linger in front of her building. She didn’t go inside. He didn’t leave.

“You can call me any time you want to know how your portfolio is doing. We issue monthly reports, but I’ll be available to you twenty-four/seven.” She shifted her weight.

“Oh?” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Can I call you at three in the morning for…advice?”

“It might not be worth much at that hour but…sure.” She grinned.

“What if you’re not alone?” A naughty grin spread across his face.

“Oh, I’ll be alone.”

“Sure about that?”

“Sure. And you?” She leaned against the building.

“I’m on my own now, too.” He braced himself against the building with his hand.

Megan stared.