If I Were Your Woman (6 page)

She sat up, tugged in several shuddering breaths, then wiped her eyes with her gloved hand. She took a look at her reflection in the rearview mirror, put the car in gear, and pulled off.

T
ony was in his home office in front of his computer putting some digitized effects on a series of pictures he'd taken for a resort. He hadn't seen Stephanie since the two days they'd spent together earlier in the week during the storm. He wanted to give her some space, didn't want her to feel that she was being crowded. But he missed her. More times than he could count he'd picked up the phone to call but changed his mind.

Now here it was, a big Saturday night looming ahead, and he was home alone with only his computer as company. And no prospect of it getting any better. How sad was that?

He pushed back from his desk, rubbed his tired eyes with his knuckles, then headed for the kitchen. He was pretty sure he'd stuck some pizza in the freezer that he could pop in the microwave.

While he was standing there watching the seconds tick by on the little panel, the phone rang. He went for the phone on the counter hoping that it was Stephanie. A moment of disappointment settled in his stomach at the male voice on the other end, but it was quickly replaced when he recognized who it was.

“Stan!”

“Hey, man. I was hoping this was still your number.”

“How the hell are ya?”

“Doing my thing, you know that.”

They both laughed at that one. Back in college Stan “the man” Duncan was renowned for his way with women. Rumor had it that Stan had been through the entire senior class and he never disagreed.

Tony pulled up a stool and sat down. “Still in Philly?”

“Actually, I'm on Amtrak. We'll be pulling into Penn Station in about twenty minutes. I'll be in town until next week, but I have meetings. I thought if you weren't busy we could get together tonight—have a few beers and catch up.”

“No doubt. Time and place, that's all I need to know.”

They quickly talked logistics and set a time to meet at eight in the lobby of Stan's hotel.

By the time Tony got off the phone his weekend wasn't looking so bad after all.

 

Tony arrived at the Sheraton Hotel on Seventh Avenue and walked into the bustling lobby. He scanned the crowd hoping to spot Stan. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around.

Stan had that same old grin on his face and his arms opened wide.

“Looking good, looking good,” Stan said, clapping Tony on the back. He ruffled his hair. “What's happening with the hair?”

Tony tossed his head back and chuckled. “The new me, man.”

“I'll get used to it after a few beers.”

“Then let's get this party started.”

 

“Wow, it's been a minute since I've been back in New York,” Stan was saying as they were shown to their table.

Barnone was one of Tony's favorite spots. The high-tech design, with splashes of who's who on any given night, always gave him creative inspiration.

“This spot wasn't open the last time I was in town.” Stan sat down.

“It's been open about three years.”

“Damn, has it been that long since I've been here?”

Tony nodded. “Longer.”

The waitress came and took their drink order.

“Hennessey on the rocks,” Tony said.

“I'll have water with lemon, no ice.”

Tony gave him a questioning look when the waitress left. “Water and lemon? What happened to a night of tying one on for old times' sake?” He smiled at his friend.

“The night is young,” he said. He looked around, then focused on Tony. “I gotta do better about staying in touch. But with all the traveling I've been doing it gets hard.”

“You never did say what brought you to the Big Hour.”

“It's part of a ten-city awareness campaign. I'm actually here with a group.”

Tony frowned. “Awareness campaign?” He chuckled. “I didn't know they had campaigns for property managers.”

Stan had received his degree in urban economics from Temple University and worked in rehabbing inner-city neighborhoods. He might run around with a lot of women, but he always had a dedication to bettering the community he grew up in.

“It's a little more complicated than that.”

“How so?”

Stan shifted a bit in his seat. He had started to reply when the waitress returned with their drinks.

“Are you gentleman ready to order?” She held her pad at the ready.

Stan looked up. “I'll have the house salad to start and the grilled chicken special.”

“Steak, medium well, with the baked potato.”

“Coming right up.” She sashayed away.

Tony turned his attention back to Stan. “You were going to tell me about your tour.”

Stan waved off his inquiry. “We can get to me. Tell me what's been happening with you. You still running around snapping pictures?”

Tony chuckled. “Yeah, and finally making a living out of it. I work on my own, starting to get a pretty impressive client list. Mostly company brochures, advertising content, stuff like that. It's pretty cool.” He leaned forward. “As a matter of fact that's how I met my lady, Stephanie.”

Stan grinned and rubbed his hands together. “Now we're talking. Let's hear it.”

Tony leaned back in his seat and began telling his buddy about how he'd met Stephanie when they got together to work on the spa project.

“She's everything I've been looking for, man. Smart, pretty, sexy, intelligent, and she's doing her thing, too. She just started her own PR business.”

“I hear a but in there somewhere.” Stan looked at his friend over the rim of his glass.

Tony twisted his lips in thought. “I don't know, man…I really care about her. I mean, I love this woman, you feel me?”

“Totally understand. So what's the problem?”

“I don't think she feels the same way. I mean, I know she cares. But anytime I talk about us taking the next step in our relationship or tell her how I feel about her, she starts backing down.”

“You think she's seeing someone else?”

“Naw!” He shook his head. “Not Steph.” His brow creased.

“How do she and your daughter, Joy, get along.”

Tony's face pinched. “She doesn't know about Joy.”

“Say what?”

“I haven't told her.”

“Why not?”

“I plan to. I do. It's just that it's never been the right time. See, she has a sister….” He told Stan all about Samantha and the feeling of guilt and obligation that Stephanie felt toward her sister. “She is totally devoted to her, man. And I know that if I don't explain things right to Stephanie about Joy and why she's living with my sister…” He slowly shook his head. “She'd never understand.”

“You'll never know that unless you tell her.”

Tony was quiet for a moment.

“When you were talking about how you feel about her, I heard some hesitation in your voice. Something else going on? If you're hiding stuff from her, what makes you think she's not doing the same thing? You think there may be someone else?”

“No, of course not.”

“You sure?”

He blinked and looked at Stan. “What do you mean, am I sure? Yeah, I'm sure.” The whole ugly story about Steph and her former boss, Conrad, flashed through his head, but he knew Stephanie would never tread those waters again.

Stan lowered his head for a moment, then looked straight into Tony's face. “Listen, all we know about anyone is what they let us know. Believe me when I tell you.” His jaw clenched and he took a swallow of his water. “I've been where you are.”

“You? In love?” He laughed. “Not Stan ‘the man.' How'd you let that happen?”

“Let's just say I was running and running until I got caught.” He swallowed. “Big-time.”

He told Tony about Angela. He'd met her at a bookstore. He was there looking for reference sources and she was attending a signing for some romance author. They both wound up at the checkout counter at the same time and started talking.

“Let's just say we hit it off from the very beginning. A serious vibe, man. We exchanged numbers and she was the one who called first. We started seeing each other on a regular basis. And before I knew it, she was the only woman I was seeing. I started cutting all the rest of them off one by one.” He drew in a breath and slowly exhaled. “We were together for a little over a year and I knew without a doubt that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We were out to dinner one night at this fancy restaurant. I had everything planned. When dessert came I was going to pop the question. The ring was burning a whole in my pocket.” His eyes took on a faraway look. “But before I got a chance to ask her anything, she had some news of her own. She was HIV positive.”

“Oh…damn,” Tony said in a stunned whisper.

“Man, I can't even explain what went through my head. I couldn't think straight. She said she'd caught it from the man she'd been seeing…while she'd been seeing me. It never entered my mind that she would even want to see someone other than me. As far as I was concerned I was putting it down on all levels.” He swallowed over the knot in his throat. “But as much as I thought I knew about us and our relationship, I didn't know jack.” He braced his chin on his fists, resting his elbows on the table.

“So what about you…are you…okay?”

“I've been positive for three years. But I'm dealing with it. I'm in a good place now, physically and mentally.”

“Oh, Stan…I don't know what to say, man. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. I didn't tell you all that for you to feel sorry for me, but to let you know nothing is as it seems. Don't take anything for granted. If you want Stephanie, make sure she knows it. Talk about what both of you want in your relationship, how you want it to go. Don't leave room for guessing. I never told Angie how I felt, what I wanted for us. I figured she could figure it all out for herself. But she didn't. She got insecure and took up with this guy who gave her what she thought she was missing along with a death sentence.”

Tony lowered his head and shook it slowly. When he looked back up at his friend he was at a total loss for words. They'd been buddies for years. Stan was invincible. All those years of partying hard and running from one woman to the next with catching no more than a cold, and then when he finally decided to settle down—the ultimate irony.

The waitress brought their meals. Stan snapped open his napkin and draped it on his lap. “So that's my story and I'm sticking with it,” he said, chuckling lightly. “But on the real side, that's why I'm here in New York.” He looked across the table at Tony. “I'm part of a coalition that makes presentations and gives workshops at schools and corporations on prevention and care. Pretty grassroots, but we're making strides. Which is the other reason why I wanted to talk to you….”

 

When Tony returned to his apartment he was mentally exhausted. He had a lot to think about. It was still hard to believe that Stan had fallen victim to the great plague of the twentieth century. But it wasn't slowing him down.

He took his time getting undressed as he processed everything he'd been told. But questions continued to nag at him. Why didn't Stephanie want more than just “getting together”? Why was she so indifferent to making a real commitment, to even admitting how she felt about him? Was she seeing someone else? Was that the reason?

Crawling into bed, he stared up at the ceiling. Stan was right. He needed to know where he and Stephanie stood and where they were going, for both their sakes. Look at what happened to Stan for assuming that everything was cool.

Tony flipped onto his side and noticed the message light flashing on his phone. He picked up the handset and punched in his pass code. There were three messages: one from a client, a telemarketer and the last one from Stephanie.

It was almost midnight. He took a chance and called. Stephanie answered on the third ring.

“I just got your message.”

Music was playing in the background.

“Oh. Not a problem. I was up.”

“Is everything okay?”

She sighed. “Yeah. Just wanted to talk, that's all.”

There was something in her voice that he couldn't quite place, almost a tone of melancholy. But he didn't want to read anything into it.

“How about brunch tomorrow? Then maybe we could go see a movie or something,” he offered.

“I'd love to. What time?”

“You tell me.”

“Twelve-thirty. I could come over there if you want.”

“Sure. So I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” She hesitated. “Listen, I know it's kind of late but…do you feel like some company?”