If I Were Your Woman (7 page)

He propped himself up on his elbow. “I always feel like seeing you, Steph. You want to come over?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“So come on, woman.” He chuckled.

“Give me an hour.”

“You got it. See you in a few.”

He got out of bed, went from one room to the next and straightened up a bit, checked the fridge, then jumped in the shower.

He'd just thrown on a sweat suit when the doorbell rang.

“Hey, babe.”

She stepped up to him, cupped his chin in her palm, and kissed him tenderly on the mouth. “Hi,” she whispered.

“I could get used to greetings like that.” He put his arm around her shoulder and ushered her inside. “Hungry?”

“No. I'm good.” She walked into the living room, set her overnight bag down next to the couch, then turned to face him. “I was hanging out with the girls tonight. We really had a good time. It's been a while since we got together and it wasn't work related.” She took off her coat and tossed it on the ottoman, then sat down on the couch. She took off her shoes and tucked her legs beneath her. “What were you up to?”

Tony slung his hands into the pockets of his pants and came to join her on the couch. He draped his arm around her shoulder. “Had dinner with an old friend of mine. I want to tell you about it.”

She angled her body on the couch to face him.

“Stan and I went to college in Philly together….”

Stephanie was visibly moved when Tony finished. “I'm so sorry.” She squeezed his hand. “From what you said he seems to be taking it well.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. He shook his head in sadness. “Just so hard to believe when it's someone you know.” He paused a moment. “Stan wants me to work with him.”

Stephanie frowned in confusion. “Work with him? How, doing what?”

He told her about Stan's tours and speaking engagements. “What he wants to do is to create a visual campaign, one for teens and one for adults. And he wants me to put it together.”

“That's wonderful. If anyone can capture emotion and the essence of an issue it's you.” She put her hand on his thigh. “You're going to do it, aren't you?”

“That's the part I want to talk to you about. In order for me to do it the way it needs to be done, I'm going to have to start traveling a lot. I'd be gone for long periods of time.”

“Oh.”

“Are you okay with that?”

Stephanie looked away. She'd be alone. She wouldn't be able to run to him like tonight when she couldn't stand the idea of spending the night alone hoping that the phone didn't ring. But at the same time she'd been ambivalent about a real commitment on her part. She couldn't have it both ways. It wasn't fair to Tony.

“Sure, why wouldn't I be? This is something you need to do. It's important. We'll just make up for lost time when you're in town.”

He searched her face, hoping to see something—what, he wasn't sure. “Good. Glad you're cool with it.” He pushed up and stood. “Want something to drink? I'm going to get a beer.”

“No. I'm good.”

He walked into the kitchen. What did he expect her to say? He took a beer from the fridge, opened it, and took a swallow. Did he really think she was going to say she didn't want him to do it? What he did want her to say was that it was going to be hard with him not being around, that she was going to miss him—something. He blew out a breath. But that wasn't Stephanie. She wasn't the needy, clinging type or overly affectionate—at least not with words.

“Hey, Tony, I'm going to change the CDs, okay?” she called out.

“Sure. Whatever you want.” He joined her in the room. She'd put on a Luther CD,
Live at Radio City:
“A House Is Not a Home” was playing. She turned toward him and held out her hand. “Dance with me.”

He approached, a seductive smile on his mouth. He took her in his arms and held her close. The music, the silky smoothness of the crooner's voice wrapped around them like a cocoon.

Stephanie pressed her head against the curve of his neck and inhaled his clean soap and water scent. Her eyes drifted closed as they moved in unison with the music.

“I'm glad you came,” he said.

“So am I.” She tilted her head back and looked at him. Her heart knocked in her chest.

“I missed you,” he said softly.

“How much?”

Tony held her tighter. “Very. Can't you tell?” He gave her a wicked grin.

“I do believe I get your point.” She kissed him lightly on the mouth.

His hands stroked her back in slow up-and-down motions as they danced. She moved even closer, and a soft moan escaped her lips.

He reached down to the hem of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head, only to discover much to his delight that she wore nothing underneath. He tossed the shirt onto the couch. His gaze raked over her. “You are so beautiful.”

She unfastened his belt.

“Not here.” He took her hand and led her to his bedroom. He pushed the door open.

Stephanie backed into the room, slowly undressing as she did so, dropping her clothes like bread crumbs as she inched toward the bed.

Tony watched in fascination as her perfect form was languidly unveiled for him. He stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side, then came to her.

Stephanie sat down on the end of the bed and slowly parted her thighs, her eyes never leaving Tony's face. With her right hand she stroked herself, with her left she raised her breast in her palm and offered it to him. He didn't need any more of an invitation. He knelt down in front of her, pushed both of her hands away, and replaced them with his.

Soft sounds of delight hummed in her throat. She reached into his shorts and freed him, the stiffness and weight overflowing in her hand. Tony's pelvis jerked forward in response to her steady up-and-down motion. He groaned, and that only turned her on more.

She scooted back onto the bed and he eagerly followed.

“Tonight is your night,” she said before smoothly switching places so that she was on top.

He grinned. “Remember what I told you about women in charge?”

“Oh, I definitely remember.” She kissed his lips, long and deep, before moving to his throat, his chest, his stomach. She brushed her lips across the coarse hair, then used her tongue to tease his length, relishing the feel of it pulsing and jumping at her touch.

Tony clutched the sheets in his fists as jolts of sensation shot through him. Then a silky hot wetness enveloped him. He hissed through his teeth as she took him into her mouth and her mind-blowing suckling began. His heart pounded and it took all of his control not to let go.

He reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom, ripping the pack open with his teeth. Stephanie looked up and grinned. She took it from him and rolled it onto him with her mouth. He was sure he was going to lose his mind then. But the best was yet to come.

Stephanie was in total control, just the way she wanted it. She felt powerful, invincible knowing that she could do this, evoke this much pleasure, make another human being weak with desire.

She positioned herself above him, teasing him some more by hovering over him, only allowing the tip to touch her opening. Each time his pushed upward, needing to gain entry, she pulled back.

Finally, unable to stand denial a moment more, Tony grabbed her hips and jammed her down onto him.

Her head went back and a surreal sound burst from her throat as he held her there, pinned to him, unable to do no more than feel him pulse and jerk inside her. She began to tremble.

Tony loosened his hold and allowed her to move. Now with the freedom she craved, she reached out and gripped the headboard and rode him in wild abandon.

He grabbed her wrists in each hand and loosened her hold on the bed, then eased her back so that her body arched upward and her head nearly touched the mattress. He took a pillow from beneath his head and shoved it under his hips, pushing him even deeper inside her. They both cried out from the incredible pressure that elicited such pleasure.

Shudders began to ricochet through her limbs. The sensations were so intense she could barely breathe. God, this felt good, he felt good. She never wanted it to end—the tingling, teasing, pulsing, throbbing—the thickness, the fullness of him. She didn't want it to stop. She pumped faster, almost in a frenzy, wanting to multiply the incredible feelings she was experiencing. She was on fire, burning from the inside out.

She screamed. Her entire body tensed into one tightrope of raw feeling when Tony pushed the pad of his finger between the breath of air that separated them and pressed down on her swollen clit. Her mind snapped into a million pieces and somewhere in the distance she heard Tony groan so deep and loud that it vibrated through her body.

They lay in a damp tangle of arms and legs, breathing heavily, both caught in an experience that left them searching for words.

“I
was going to fix us some breakfast,” Tony said, nuzzling Stephanie's ear.

She wiggled against him. “Hmm, sounds heavenly.”

“Good.” He snatched the sheet off her and popped her on her bare bottom. “Today, young lady, you are going to learn how to cook.”

She pushed her hair away from her face and looked up at him in horror. “You are kidding, aren't you?”

“Do I look like I'm kidding?”

“You look like a naked man who should get back in bed.”

He laughed, grabbed her hand, and pulled her from the bed. “Come on, into the shower, then onward to the kitchen.”

She got up, stomped her feet like a petulant child, then switched her way to the bathroom. “I'm sure you'll be sorry,” she warned over her shoulder.

Stephanie dragged out her shower for as long as she could without having Tony send in troops to rescue her. She emerged from the bathroom in only a towel with the secret hope of distracting her instructor from the task at hand. She knew she was hopeless in the kitchen, and the last thing she wanted was for Tony to see her totally unable to conquer something, even if that something was as simple as cooking.

Tony glanced in her direction when she walked into the room. His gaze lingered for a moment, but he wouldn't be swayed. “As long as you're comfortable,” he said in an offhand fashion.

Stephanie puffed out a frustrated breath.

Tony jerked his head. “Don't just stand there looking gorgeous. Come on, let's get started.”

She slinked over to the kitchen counter where he'd assembled bowls, knives, seasonings, green and red peppers, an assortment of cheeses, tomatoes, milk…the countertop was covered from end to end.

“What are you making?”

“
I'm
not making anything. I'm instructing,
you're
making. We're going to have a western omelet, whole wheat pancakes, and turkey bacon.”

She threw her hands up in the air and looked around. “But…I…”

He took her hands and brought them down to her sides. If she didn't look so terrified he would burst out laughing. “I'll talk you through it. It'll be fun. A team project. We'll start with the condiments.”

She muttered something under her breath. Tony chuckled and handed her a green pepper and a knife.

Not only was Tony a stellar photographer, consummate lover, fun, intelligent, and damned good to look at, he was also a wonderful cook and a great teacher.

Stephanie was actually having a good time and she hadn't burned anything. He'd shown her how to make a perfect omelet and pancakes that were light as feathers. They even had a fruit salad. When they sat down at the table she couldn't believe what she'd done.

Tony raised his glass of orange juice in a toast. “Congratulations on a job well done.”

Stephanie smiled with well-deserved pride. “Couldn't have done it without you.”

“It was my pleasure.” He touched his glass to hers.

“Tony.” She put her glass down. “There's something I want to talk to you about.”

“Sure.”

“A few days ago I got a phone call…from Conrad's wife.”

Slowly he put down his glass. “A few days ago? What did she say, Steph?”

She repeated the conversation.

His amiable expression hardened. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I…I don't know. I guess I didn't want you to worry.”

He blew out a harsh breath and pushed up from the table. He crossed the room to the sink and turned to face her. “Did you call the police?”

“No.”

His nostrils flared. “Why?”

“I just want it all to go away. I knew if the police got involved it would all blow up again.”

He looked at her in stunned disbelief. He paced toward her. “This man used you.” He bent down in front of her, gripping the edge of table. “He threatened to blackball you in the industry. His wife has verbally harassed you. They have jointly made your life hell. It took months of convincing to get you to take out the restraining order, longer still to make you feel safe again.” He spun around in a circle, then whirled toward her. “Forget that you didn't call the police and have them enforce the order.” He waved his hand back and forth, then jabbed at his chest. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asked in a harsh whisper.

Stephanie looked away. “I didn't want you upset, Tony. I didn't want you to worry.”

He sat down and pulled his chair right up to her. “Steph, that's called being in a relationship. I thought that's what you wanted, what we were working toward.”

“We are. I thought I could handle it on my own. I wanted to handle it on my own. But after last night…I wanted to tell you. I didn't want any more secrets between us.”

A momentary pang of guilt stabbed him in the gut.

“And…I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to have to deal with it alone. I didn't want to hear my phone ring and have her on the other end.” She sighed heavily. “There, I said it. I needed you.” It was more of an accusation than an admission.

He took her hands in his and raised them to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on her palms. “It's okay to need someone. It doesn't make you weak or less of a person. I want you to need me, Steph, and I want to be there for you when you do.”

She blinked back tears. “I've been doing it on my own for so long. I don't know any other way.”

“Give it a chance. Give us a chance. A real one.”

She stood up and moved away from him.

“You can't let this go. First it will be phone calls. What next? You need to make them know that you're serious. And the only way to do that is to take it to the next level and file the sexual harassment suit against Hendricks. You should have done that in the beginning.”

Stephanie folded her arms and tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth. “I'll change my number. I should have done that a long time ago.”

“Stephanie, it's not enough and you know it. You've always known it.”

She shook her head. “No. This is as far as it goes.”

“Do you think it's going to stop?”

“I don't know.”

He came up to her. “Look, I know it won't be easy. And it will be hard as hell to handle it on your own.” He paused a beat. “Live with me. And I don't mean just on the weekend. I mean day to day, dealing with each other. If you don't want to pursue charges, then put all of it behind you, including the place that the two of you…”

Her head began to pound. Live together? Living together held implications. Was she willing to give up her independence, share bills, daily drama, wake up day after day to the same person? It was happening too fast. She'd never shared that much of herself with anyone. It was easier to keep that emotional distance. That way she didn't get hurt, she wouldn't have to worry about loss.

“It's not something that I want to do.” She forced herself to look into his eyes.

“I see. What part, some of what I said or all of it?”

She cleared her throat. “All of it. I'm not going to file the suit and I…can't live with you.”

“You want to tell me why?”

“How can I go after Conrad for sexual harassment? I was a part of it. I wasn't some starstruck teenager who didn't know any better. What I did was wrong.” Her eyes filled with tears. “He was married. I knew it and it didn't matter.”

His expression was incredulous. “Do you hear yourself? He raped you! He should be in jail, for God's sake, and you're blaming yourself?” He crossed over to her. “No one deserves that.”

She looked away. “Let it go, Tony.”

“If it's a matter of some woman independence thing about you not wanting to move into a man's home, then we can get a place together with both of our names on the lease,” he said, ignoring her directive.

How could she explain something she didn't quite understand herself? She knew she cared deeply for Tony. She enjoyed being with him, but living together…that was asking for more than she was ready to give.

“I can't live with you,” she said finally.

He drew himself up. “Can't or won't?”

“Both.”

He slowly nodded his head. “So you won't file charges, you won't move out of the place that he raped you in, and you won't move in with me.” He chuckled without a hint of humor. “Then maybe it's what you wanted.”

She flashed him a look.

“Fine. You've said it all. There's nothing more to discuss.” He turned and walked out.

She heard a door slam in the distance and was finally able to release the tight rein she had on herself. She let go a long breath and headed for the bedroom. Tony was sitting on the edge of the bed staring off into space.

“I think I'd better go.”

“So do I,” he said without looking at her.

She began gathering her things. The silence was physical, weighing down her limbs as she put her belongings into her bag. She got dressed. Tony still hadn't said a word, hadn't moved from that spot, hadn't looked in her direction.

It was best this way, she thought as she put on her coat. Cut her losses early. She picked up her bag. She started to say something but knew that whatever she said wouldn't matter. She walked out the door without looking back.

 

Stephanie returned to her apartment and aimlessly puttered around for the rest of the day. She wanted to talk to someone, but there was no one. Barbara had Wil. Ellie had Ron. Ann Marie had Sterling. She had her freedom.