If Not For You (21 page)

Gage slipped his hand around mine and smiled moving his chair a little bit closer and I rested my head on his shoulder enjoying the silent closeness.

***

Managing to get through the day while barely speaking a word sounds like a daunting task, but somehow we did it and it wasn’t as awkward as you’d think.

Gage seemed to need constant contact and I couldn’t protest, in fact I looked forward to his touch. He held his hand at the small of my back when I walked anywhere slightly ahead of him, my hand when we sat at lunch and dinner and wrapped his arms around my waist or shoulder when we were just standing still.

Notebook
was playing tonight at ‘Under the Stars’ and it didn’t take a whole lot of effort to convince Gage to go with me when I flippantly promised we could make out. When he squeezed two of the plush lounges together and grabbed a blanket, I laughed at the silly way he eagerly hopped onto his seat and offered the other to me, holding the blanket up and grinning. We shared popcorn and snuggled.

I had to admit the love scenes were on the steamy side, or perhaps it was just me, but I was starting to get all kinds of hot under the blanket and snuggled a bit tighter into Gage’s side. He pulled his arm from between us and draped it over my shoulder and drew me in, his hair brushed against my cheek, his scent was driving me wild.

In a bold move, I ever so slightly touched my lips to the curve of his neck and heard him take a deep breath. I felt his pulse quicken against my lips. He slightly pushed me back and looked into my face and carefully, as if to test the waters, touched his lips to mine and I closed my eyes and melted into him.

Gage sucked my bottom lip between his teeth sending a hot shiver racing along my spine. Goose bumps formed on my skin and my breathing hitched. His lips were a mixture of salty and buttery from the popcorn with a hint of sweetness from his Cola. He tasted so good. His tongue pushed against my teeth pleading for entry, until I willingly opened to him and our tongues stroked together. I let out a moan and froze waiting for that all too familiar pull back. Happily it never came as I felt his smile against my lips and his hand slip under my blouse. The warmth from his palm as it rested on my ribs was glorious; his thumb caressing the underside of my breast was hypnotic.

I couldn’t tell you how long we spent under the moonlight, quite literally sucking face, but when we finally pulled apart our lips were swollen and the screen was black. Looking around us, there wasn’t a sole. The entire area was void of any life. All the seat cushions had been packed away as well as the blankets and only the sound of the ships engines humming could be heard in the silence. There was a peaceful quietness that forced me not to move.

“What time is it?” I asked, as he pushed the button on his watch, illuminating shadows across his face.

“Three am, talk about losing all track of time,” he laughed, and then ran his hand across my cheek.

Necking in the moonlight with my
friend
until three in the morning sure seemed a smidge too intimate. I was a muddled mess. Riddled with guilt for being a tease, I had to ask myself what we were doing. Was I a tease or was he teasing me? I had started this entire thing, provoking Gage with the touch of my lips to his neck. Over thinking it again, I needed to get the fuck out of here.

“We better go,” I said, starting to move. Gage jumped up and pulled me swiftly to my feet, ever the gallant gentleman. I was expecting him to bow before me and kiss my hand like Prince charming with his princess; I guess that would have been pushing it, I thought with a snigger.

“Shall I escort you home miss?”

“Yes please, sir,” I said, in my best impression of a southern belle and we laughed.

At my room door, I stood and waited while Gage played with the key card in the slot and it glowed green, he forced open the door and moved back to let me in first. He really was a gentleman; someone had raised him right, designed him to not only respect a lady, but treat her like one.

“Thank you, sir,” I said, as I walked in and turned to see Gage leaning in the doorway watching me. He looked shy, almost childlike, like he was waiting for permission. Bad ass Gage was tucked away.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked, confused when he didn’t saunter in behind me like usual.

“Things changed today. Maybe I should go to my room and see you in the morning,” he said, moving slightly back into the darkened hallway.

“Is that what you want?” Barely had the questioned crossed my lips when Gage answered me.

“No,” he said softly, almost in a whisper, but he hesitated to move forward. He looked so cute when he was acting coy, with his big beautiful blue eyes sparkling from the light in the room.

“Then get in here. Nothing’s changed, that can’t be fixed.” I reached out and pulled him in, he swathed his arms around my waist and we stood staring and waiting awkwardly.

“Still friends, right?” he asked, and I leaned my head against his chest so he didn’t see the disappointment. My heart was telling me I wanted more. My head hadn’t quite caught up yet.

“Of course we are silly. I’m going to get changed,” I said, and rushed to the bathroom.

I changed, brushed my teeth and hair and all the while I could taste him and remember the scent of his skin and feel the heat we shared under the blanket. And now we were acting like it was nothing, like we were actors in a theatrical production and the play had drawn to a close. That is until the next performance. We were only friends after all.

Gage was waiting under the sheets, he pulled them back, I climbed in and he tucked the sheets around me. We lay side by side staring at the ceiling; neither saying a word. The screaming silence and new awkwardness were driving me near mad. This wasn’t what friends did, sharing a bed, making out like teenagers and I shouldn’t be feeling like a horny sixteen year old, wanting to be groped by the captain of the football team to get my thrills either.

When I was about to speak, Gage rolled onto his side to face me, I could smell the clean fresh scent of his cotton t-shirt and coconut. I wanted him to peel off that shirt and mine and feel our flesh touch. I was lost in my lustful thoughts, when he slipped his hand under my rump and maneuvered me around until he had my back spooned against his chest, his arm wrapped over my waist and he was twirling a piece of my hair with his fingers. I loved when he played with my hair, it was relaxing. Although it was only a lock of my hair wrapped around his finger, it was still a form of contact and that was what I craved when he was with me.

“That’s better,” he said, and I closed my eyes knowing that come morning, he would touch me and though it was in his sleep, he’d lust for me and I’d let it happen, whatever that would be.

Day 34

I woke to the sound of water running, it took me a moment to get my barings. I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. I grasped the morning wood I was becoming used to and squeezed, telling myself to get up and get moving. I put the idea of ravishing Tandy right out of my mind.

Repeating my new mantra, ‘just friends’ and sucking in a deep breath, I sat on the side of the bed and couldn’t help but peek at the sight of Tandy in the shower. From my side of the bed the shower was in clear view, I could smell her shampoo and jasmine body wash mixing in the air, causing my morning problem to grow considerably.

Never lusting for a woman like this before, this was all new to me. Swallowing a pool of saliva that formed on my tongue, delicious ideas of devouring her in the shower spun around in my head. I had to get a grip.

Forcing my ass to move, I pulled on sweats and lifted the phone and placed the usual coffee order. I took one last committing to memory look at Tandy, before heading to the living room. I needed to go to my room and get some things, toiletries etcetera, it was best to go now, while she was occupied. There was also an overdue email to Mr. M to send and I forgot my phone.

The key card sat on the table by the door where I left it the night before. I snuck out the door, easing it closed to minimize the sound that it made when the automatic lock clicked into place.

When I was safely in my room I filled a travel kit with the essentials, grabbed a change of clothes and took a quick cold shower.

Deciding I was taking far too long already, I grabbed my laptop and phone to bring to Tandy’s room. I would find a minute in the day to send a quick email, I didn’t need to be in this room to do that. Tandy would understand if it was work, which it was.

Fumbling with my belongings and the card key, I cursed the decision to bring so much and finally the door opened. Sneaking in I noticed the smell of coffee in the room and the balcony door standing open. Throwing everything onto the sofa, I walked quietly out to the balcony and stood watching Tandy as she read something on her laptop with a smile on her face.

Beautiful
, I thought.

***

I was shocked when I noticed that my sleeping beauty was gone. But when I saw the card key missing and the balcony door closed I surmised that he had gone to his room, hopefully not for long.

The sound of water running and movement in Mr. sexy neighbor’s room made me feel a little relieved that I finally heard something. The thought of murder on the high seas, a dead body on the cabin floor and a bumbling detective questioning me, made me laugh. I had the tendency to think about the stupidest things, the craziest possibilities and ideas.

Spotting my laptop on the kitchen counter, I supposed it was the perfect time to send the girls an email, fill them in on the big V and perhaps tell them about my new roommate. A knock at the door stopped me in my tracks and I smiled from ear to ear when I opened it to find the always yummy Philippe with the morning coffee. Telling me my
guest
placed the order and I smiled.

I asked Philippe to return with fruit salad and French toast for our breakfast, yes I said
our
breakfast and sat on the balcony with my cup of coffee and my laptop.

Morning
Ladies! Isn’t it a beautiful day? Well it is here in the middle of the ocean! Lol I’m putting it out there, I’m spending a lot of time with a gorgeous blonde haired god of a man. He treats me real nice and no, I haven’t lost the big V. Unfortunately I’m still cursed. We spend a lot of time together and we made out during a movie last night! Woohoo! Anyway, miss you guys! Love Tandy.

Surprisingly it wasn’t very long before I got a reply from Tess. I laughed as I read the warnings to be safe, use a condom, go for it and take him deep. That was Tess. I was also told to do a background check, and she gave me a poke about my lack of time zone knowledge too.

I was smiling as I closed my laptop and spotted Gage standing at the sliding door watching me with a huge dimpled smile. He was gorgeous, his wet hair blowing in the breeze and those blue eyes that put the ocean waters to shame made me weak. But it was that dimpled smile that always managed to melt me into a puddle every time.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” he asked, as he strolled over and placed a kiss on top of my head.

I rolled my eyes and Gage’s brows slowly knit together, he glared, pouring his coffee and adding cream. Dragging his chair around the table he sat right beside me, put his arm across the back of my chair and nuzzled his nose just under my ear and sniffed. The puddle that I had previously melted into was now pouring off my seat, and forming a pool around my toes.

The heat from his skin mixed with the loose damp curls of his hair, which were slipping into the neckline of my t-shirt, had my panties dripping wet. I was having difficulty controlling my breathing. I adjusted my position hoping he didn’t notice my predicament.

“You smell wonderful, good enough to eat!” His teeth tenderly nipped the lobe of my ear. An electric pulse shot from my ear to my lower region and I nearly moaned out loud.

“I ordered French toast,” I spurt out, and Gage laughed, knowing he was unraveling me.

“Mmm, I like my first choice better,” he whispered, and moved in for a second helping.

I raised my shoulder up to stop him and he sat back with a grin, the man was killing me. I was going to spontaneously combust before his eyes, and I think he knew it, took pride in the fact. The curtain rose and the performance began, the just friends play started with my thunderous applause.

This friends thing was beginning to get stale, mold was forming along its edge and soon that fine line that we were teetering on would start to deteriorate, leaving us with the decision to find a better footing or take the inevitable leap. My mind had already jumped, lingering restlessly in the air with my heart gearing up to follow.

“Gage, don’t you think we’re getting a little too friendly?” I tried to play it up with a titter but failed miserably. My breathlessness and the red in my cheeks gave me away, damn my lack of control!

“Maybe, maybe not,” Gage said as he brushed my hair over my shoulder and twirled a piece around his finger. “Want me to stop?”

Damn his naughty sexiness, damn his ability to soak my panties in a matter of seconds and damn me for thirsting after him. Did I want him to stop? No fucking way!

A knock at the door stopped the conversation, thank god. I was saved by the proverbial bell as they say. There was no way that I could have told him to stop; no way could I have formed the words. Darting to the door, I let in the steward asking him to serve on the balcony and went into the bathroom to splash water on my face.

When Philippe raised the covers from our plates, we looked at each other and laughed. Philippe checked us both out as if we had lost our minds and left without question, counting the large tip that Gage slipped into his palm.

“Blueberries,” we said, in stereo. Gage picked one up between his thumb and index finger and examined it closely.

“Gross, what is it about blueberries? They look harmless, but I mean food should never be blue.” He was having a moment, an honest to God moment. The look of disgust on his face made me laugh and I had no time to react, when the little blue ball flew through the air and pinged off of my forehead.