If Only (The Willowbrook Series Book 1) (7 page)

Why was she—a smart and independent woman—his weakness? As he made his way to her woodshed, he heard the crunching of snow beneath her boots.

Making sure she was okay, he glanced over his shoulder. She scrunched her face. He smiled. She stuck her tongue at him. He shook his head and laughed. He was ready to open the door to the shed, when he felt the impact on the back of his head. Wet and cold.

“Gotcha!”

He spun on her. Another snowball smacked him in the forehead. Shit, she had a good aim. “Asa girl, do that again and—”

“Yeah, yeah.” She gave him a dismissive wave before bending forward to scoop more snow into her small hands. “The whole over the knees thing is just so scary, Rhys. I could come up with a better punishment.”

He packed snow in his hands, and dodging a streak of white, he snagged her by the collar and shoved snow down the back of her shirt. She squealed. He let go and skittered backward to give her time to launch an offensive.

Raising a brow, she rubbed her hands together. God, he loved this part of her—playful, happy. Had her confession caused the change? When she smiled, ruthlessness glinting in her pretty brown eyes, Rhys realized he didn’t give a shit. Later . . . later they would again discuss the accident. And once he forgave her, he would apologize for his crude comment. Two events forgiven, but not forgotten. But he wouldn’t tell her he loved her. He wasn’t ready. A snowball hit him square above his heart.

“It’s no fun when you just stand there.”

“I was admiring how cute you look with your red cheeks—”

“And my runny nose, the frizz I call my head of hair, and—”

“And how I want to do you in the snow.”

“Wha—” A snowball dropped from her hand.

Ha, distracted again
! While her mind tried to figure the logistics of that, Rhys tackled her and slung her over his shoulder.

Breathless, she laughed. “You’re a jerk. You distracted me on purpose.”

He slipped his hand under her shirt and over the cool skin of her back. “The snow melted on your skin, and it’s cold. I don’t want you to get sick. And yes, I meant to distract you, but I also want to someday do you in the snow.”

He smoothed his palm across her sexy ass. She held still. “You say the naughtiest things.”

“Admit it. You’re turned on.”

Her body shook with her laughter. “Yes, but only because I’ll be doing it with you.”

Damn, her words got him hard for her. At the front door, he didn’t want to let her go. And definitely not when she started to plaster herself to him and nuzzle his neck. After that, he couldn’t keep his hands off of her as he shoved her against the front door.

With the desperation of a man finding his first drops of water in the desert, he groped and kissed her until they pulled apart, their ragged breathing layers of white condensation in the air.

“Why couldn’t we stay friends?” she said, whispering next to his ear. “Why’d I have to go and kiss you that night?”

His chest ached at the sadness in her voice. “Do you regret what we did?”

Biting down on her bottom lip, she set her hand on his chest, the coldness of her touch seeping in through the cotton of his t-shirt, reminding him they had both left their jackets back in the woodshed.

“No, but we crossed the line, and now we can’t go back to being just friends.”

He cupped her face and kissed her. “Like I said, I haven’t forgiven you yet. We have the advantage of time. Will you give me that? Your time?”

“Until when, Rhys? Until after the snow melts? Or, when you figure out what I am to you?” She stepped out of his hold. “I won’t sleep with you again.”

Reaching around her, he turned the doorknob with one hand while curving his other arm across the small of her back, bringing her closer to him. “I don’t expect you to.” He tapped open the door and guided her backward inside the warm house. “Go change.”

When she glared, he uttered the magic word. “Please.”

She pivoted and headed toward the bathroom. Must be where she’d left her backpack. “You need more clothes?” he called after her.

“Maybe later, but I can get it myself.”

“Better do it while there’s daylight.”

“Okay, mother.”

Rhys smiled. “I’m heading out to get our jackets and lock up the workshop. You want me to check on yours while I’m over there?”

She stuck her head out of the bathroom, her shirt held over her chest, giving him a glimpse of bare shoulders and a flat stomach he’d love to span his hands across.

“No need to,” she said. “Mine is locked.”

“Okay, then, I’ll be right back.”

Whistling, he headed out the door to make a private phone call. He needed advice, and who better to get it from than the queen of dating herself.
Eve
. The cold numbing his fingers, Rhys quickly texted her to call him before he shoved his phone back in his back pant pocket.

After high school, he dated here and there, but he wouldn’t count that as a . . . aw, shit, what was the word? He rolled his shoulders. The sun was out and his eyes hurt from the glare. Like rays reflecting off water. Ships in the ocean.
A courtship
. He puffed his chest. Yeah, that was the word he was searching for.

Asa was a romantic at heart while he knew nothing about how to court a woman. The cheerleader in high school didn’t count. She bat for the other team, and to help her while she sorted through the confusion of her sexuality in a small town where people still had close- minded beliefs, Rhys played along and became her boyfriend during their senior year. His phone buzzed.

“If you plan on breaking Asa’s heart, I’m gonna string you up by the balls on the school’s flag pole.”

“Still full of attitude.”

“I’m serious, Rhys. Now what do you want?”

“Guess?”

She sighed, the sound full of frustration. “Look, it was my bad for inviting you two to my party and worse, that I told her you wanted to speak to her in the back bedroom. But I won’t let you break her heart again. Does she know?”

“Know what?”

“Don’t play dumb. You haven’t told Asa you have a friend with benefits waiting for you in Cali, have you?”

“How—”

“Lucas told me, okay? Asa is my friend.”

“Look, I’m glad she has you to watch her back,” he said. “And Lucas is a bastard for discussing my personal business with you, but for what it’s worth, I haven’t seen that gal for over six months now.”

Eve made a choking noise. “You’re telling me you haven’t had sex in over six months?”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Eve. But we’re not here to talk about my sex life. I need some advice.”

“Shoot.”

He smiled. He’d always thought it was strange that outgoing Eve had become Asa’s best friend, but now he understood why. They were very much alike. Asa just kept her personality hidden while Eve’s was out there for the world to see.

“Did Asa tell you what happened later that night?”

“You mean after you two slept together and she ran off crying? I had to drive her home, and she refused to speak to me.”

“You’re making me feel like shit all over again.”

“You should. She never said a word to me, but after that night, she wasn’t the same, Rhys. Then when her father died . . .”

He pulled his arm back, ready to smash his fist into the side of the workshop. Instead, he smacked his palm on the wood exterior and rested his forehead on its rough surface.

“I saw the truth in her eyes, Eve. She loved me, and I felt the same, but the thought of abandoning my dream in order to love her had me scared. So I told one of the guys it was a mistake to sleep with Asa.”

Yeah, he was a coward for not using the exact words he had uttered that night. “And you said it so she overheard you, right?”

He didn’t answer. They both knew she had. How else to explain Asa’s tears? “You’re a jerk, Rhys Miles. Why should I help you?”

“Because I want her.”

A low growl rumbled through the phone line. “She’s not a prize, jackass.”

He blew out a breath. “It came out wrong. See what I mean? I’ll always say the wrong things.”

“Now, you’re whining.”

Rhys clenched his jaw. What did Lucas find attractive about Eve?

“If you want to prove to Asa you love her, you have to show her she’s more important to you than your racing. Otherwise, she’ll always see herself as second best. That’s not where a woman likes to be. A woman wants to be number one in her man’s heart.”

“And how do I do that? Racing has been my life. I won’t quit for a woman.”

Eve growled again. “You don’t have to, moron. But you have to accept Asa for who she is. She’s an introvert.”

“And intro what?”

“God, Rhys, did you get hit over the head or something? Or maybe taken one too many falls? Look, she might chat it up with customers until her face hurts from smiling. She might read to the elderly until her voice is hoarse. And she might volunteer to watch Sandy’s little boy even though she’s dead tired on her feet. But at the end of the day, Asa likes to be by herself. That’s how she recharges. And, she’s not a party girl nor does she like big events. Too many people.”

“What you’re telling me is nothing new,” he reminded her. “I’ve known her as long as you have.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to listen and see her face as she gave a blow-by-blow of what
you
told
her
had happened at the latest parties you went to—the drinking, the women, or of the groupies at your signings.”

Shit, he should have known better than to tell Asa those things. But he had considered her his best friend. She had listened and didn’t judge. Yet that whole time, she listened and had hurt.

“Just tell me how to make it up to her, Eve.”

Silence. He waited. Why did he have a feeling he wasn’t gonna like what she had to say. Her heavy sigh wasn’t reassuring either.

“I want you two to be together, I really do, Rhys. I just don’t know if it’ll work. Both of you were raised to hide your emotions. I’ve only seen Asa cry once. Even at her father’s funeral, she didn’t cry. And you? I have no clue other than you’re more relaxed and happy when you’re with her. Then you started dating that cheerleader our senior year and things changed.”

Rhys pushed open the door of the workshop, grabbed their jackets and locking the door behind him while balancing the cell phone on his shoulder, he listened to Eve’s advice with a heavy heart.

“If you love Asa, stay away from her. Say what you need to her, then leave and never come back to Willowbrook. Stick around as her friend, and she’ll always hold out hope that you’ll change your mind, and love her as more. That’s not fair to her. She deserves to be happy.”

“So I should keep my distance and wait for her to call when she’s found someone and wants me back as her friend?” That idea didn’t sit well with him.

“No, stranger.” Eve’s voice was full of pity. “She won’t be calling you. Ever. She deleted you from her contacts list in the emergency department the night of the accident. And once she gives her heart to another, you’ll be a distant memory.”

“So things are serious between her and her guy?”

“What guy?”

“Thanks, Eve.” The tightness in his chest subsided. “And I won’t stay away from her. I need her. I love her. Just tell me what to do, what the next step is.”

“What you’re doing right now, Rhys. Tell her exactly what you said to me.”

“You’re a good friend. I’ll do right by her. I won’t disappoint you or her.” She laughed. “I’ll hold you to those words.”

Rhys smiled. “And I like my balls, so no, you can’t have them to string on the school’s flag pole.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Asa told him she wouldn’t sleep with him again, and he respected her decision. Love with her sex, she’d said. He would give her both. On her terms and when she was ready.

Chapter Seven

Asa waited on the couch while Rhys took a shower and changed into clean clothes. Earlier, she thought he’d be gone a few minutes, but the minutes turned into two hours. From inside the house, she heard the sound of him outside chopping wood.

When he returned with an armful of firewood, he seemed different—more optimistic and . . . happy? God, he had looked so sexy when he walked through the door.

And when he had rested on his haunches to set the firewood on the tile surround . . . Asa shifted. Rhys had a fine ass. Afterward, he came over and apologized for being out so long without letting her know where he was. The scent of him—fresh cut wood mixed in with cool snow—had her lips parting as she leaned toward him.

If he hadn’t cleared his throat, she would have licked him like a yummy lollipop. Asa groaned, recognizing she shouldn’t be having these thoughts. They had more to talk about. Hell, her head was ready to explode from all they had discussed and felt in the workshop.

She’d confessed. He hadn’t said he forgave her but told her why he rejected her. She didn’t believe him. The two big issues from their past were still unresolved. Why did she think things would be so simple?

After their kiss and her willingness to stay with him, it was obvious she wanted to be with him, but she wouldn’t carry her feelings into the bedroom. If she slept with Rhys again, there would be no going back. She wasn’t like her mother. He would be the only man for her.

Even at the young age of twenty-two, she understood and accepted that. But could Rhys make her number one in his life? Or would his racing be the end to all they could possibly have? The sound of water stopped, and Asa waited. Would today be their last together? She expected the power to come on soon. The previous time it had snowed like this, the power came back in two days.

From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of him, but wanting a better view, she turned in her seat. Her gaze soaked him in. What was it about a man and his low-slung jeans? Top the casual look with a loose fitting t−shirt, and her mouth watered.

“You want a fire?” His gaze dropped to her shirt. She had changed into a scoop neck, the low cut exposing her cleavage. The smolder in the depths of his hazel eyes excited and scared her.

“It’s warm enough, don’t you think?” she stammered. Was it a mistake to tell him no sex when her body and heart craved him inside her?