If Only to Forget (4 page)

“Don’t let the villagers catch you or they’ll burn you at the stake,” I say, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket. I got lucky and found them in the principal’s desk. They were probably confiscated.

Tori raises her eyebrows and nods toward the cigarettes. “Mind if I join?”

I shrug and head to the stairs. “The more the merrier.” It sounds even less sincere than it felt coming out.

“Why do I think you’re lying?”

“I’m not. Not really, anyway.”

“You’ve barely spoken to anyone since we got here, so I find that hard to believe.”

We jog up the stairs side by side, and I can’t help watching her expression out of the corner of my eye. She doesn’t seem like she thinks I’m a bitch, so I’m not sure what she’s thinking.

“Thought keeping to myself was better.”

“I get it.” She doesn’t say anything else, and I believe her. She already said we were fucked, so she probably knows exactly how I feel.

We make our way to the end of the hall where I shove the door to room two fifteen open and step in. It looks almost exactly the same as it did three years ago.

“I had English in here my senior year. It was my favorite class. I had a teacher who inspired me to want to write down every little story in my head. Without him I’m not sure I would have had the confidence to just go for it.” I lean my bat against the wall right next to the door, then light up as I head to the window.

I put the cigarette between my lips and suck in as much of the chemicals as possible. They used to burn my throat going down, but now they feel like a balm against an open wound. I hold the smoke in my lungs while jimmying the window open, then let it all out. The smoke blows back inside when a breeze sweeps through the open window, burning my eyes. Yeah. That’s why they’re tearing up. The smoke.

“Sorry,” Tori says from behind me, giving me a start. I’d almost forgotten she was there.

I shrug and pop the cigarette between my lips so I can get her one. “Whatever.”

Tori takes the cigarette and lights it, then we stand together in silence. Smoking. Staring out the window as the early morning sun moves higher into the sky, shining down on the field below. It looks like a war zone. There are bodies everywhere, torn to shreds like they’ve been put through a wood chipper. The once green grass is a sea of red that shimmers under the sun and makes my full stomach flip inside out.

The zombies ambling between the bodies are a whole different story.

“What were you doing?” Tori asks out of nowhere.

“Trying to get home.” I take a long drag, then hold it in. When I blow it out I say, “I was at the mall when word spread. Of course, I’d seen the reports on the news earlier in the day, but being the typical child of my generation, I didn’t think something like that could touch me. So I went shopping for a new pair of shoes.”

I don’t mention that I made it home just in time to see the carnage that had been unleashed on my house, or that the roads were too clogged for me to get away, so I had to make run for it. I don’t mention that I almost didn’t make it. That I saw my childhood best friend only one street away from my house. That she had already changed and she tried to eat me. I don’t mention that there are times I wish she had succeeded.

“None of us took it seriously. I mean, how could we?” Tori shakes her head and flicks the cigarette out the window. “Wish we had some pot.”

I snort as I take one final drag before following her lead. “I’m sure we could find some if we searched the lockers.”

“That’s a good point. There’s probably a lot of good stuff in the lockers.”

“Uppers, downers. Maybe some meth.” I know she’s not referring to drugs, but my mood is too sour to be anything but sarcastic. “If we’re lucky, we can spend the rest of our time so fucked up that we won’t even notice when some bastard tries to eat us.”

Tori stands up. “I don’t think that’s funny.”

“Neither do I,” I say, watching a zombie head across the football field. Where the hell is he going? Do they have a plan?

“I’m serious, Kyra.”

Tori’s tone has morphed into one that reminds me of my mom, which only makes my stomach clench so hard I think I might hurl. I can see the older woman out of the corner of my eye, her arms crossed. Her eyes narrowed.

I can’t look at her or I’ll burst into tears, so I just shrug and pull out another cigarette. “So am I. It just so happens that I’m honest, too.”

Tori snorts and turns away as I light up. She doesn’t slam the door—or even shut it—but it feels like she did. My body actually jerks as I imagine the bang of the door slamming against the frame. But once she’s gone, I feel a little better. Less tense.

I settle against the windowsill and smoke. Watching the zombies. Staring at the mangled bodies. Wishing I could catch a glimpse of the house I grew up in, all the way across the football field and two streets over. Knowing I’ll never see it or my family again.

After a couple hours and a few cigarettes, someone walks into the room behind me. I turn, expecting to see Riley. I almost fall out the window when I meet the judgmental glare.

“I’ve been looking for you,” the woman in the floral dress says, weaving her way between the desks.

I arch an eyebrow and take a long drag off my cigarette. “Is that so?” Smoke floats from my mouth with the words, making her frown. I almost smile. Almost.

“You strike me as a very troubled young lady.”

I laugh without meaning to. “Lady, we’re all troubled. Have you seen what’s going on out there?”

“Some of us are more troubled than others. I have the Lord to guide me, and He’s been telling me to have a talk with you.”

I flick my cigarette outside and hop off the windowsill. “Is that right? And would this talk have something to do with the fact that I fucked Riley in the shower this morning?”

Her hand whips out so fast I don’t even see it, meeting my face with a sickening smack that rings through the room. Making my whole cheek sting.

“Watch your tongue! The Lord will not tolerate vulgar language.”

I rub my cheek as heat spreads through me, and before I can even think about it I have a handful of her dress and I’m pulling her closer until our faces are only inches apart. “Bitch, you better never touch me again or you’ll regret it. Do you understand? You’re not my mom and you’re not my friend, and I don’t have to answer to you!”

Riley steps into the room behind her and his eyes get big. “What the hell?”

I don’t know why, but I let go.

The woman stumbles back, slamming into a desk and almost toppling over. I wish she would. I wish she’d land on her face and break her nose so I could see it bleed all over. If she ever touches me again, I will make her bleed.

The woman whose name I still don’t know stands up and adjusts her dress. Then she turns to face Riley. “This harlot threatened me. She’ll be the end of you and me and everyone in this building. Mark my words. God has told me that she will be the end of all of us!”

Riley narrows his eyes on the woman, then glances my way. His eyes get huge. “You need to walk away from here right now Patty. I’ve never hit a woman before and I don’t want to start now, but I’m not going to put up with you treating Kyra that way. You got it?”

Patty’s eyes morph into tiny full moons, but she doesn’t argue. She huffs and stomps out, leaving Riley and me alone.

Riley steps inside as Patty’s footsteps pound down the hall. He shuts the door, then crosses the room to me.

“Are you okay?” he asks, taking my face between his.

I shrug him off and pull out another cigarette. “Peachy.”

He doesn’t say anything as I light up and go back to staring out the window, but I can feel his gaze on my back. It’s hotter than the sun.

“If I’d been home, I wouldn’t be here right now,” I say, narrowing my eyes as I try once again to stare through the trees. “I was at the mall shopping when all hell broke loose, but my family was home. I saw them. Torn apart. If I’d been there with them, the same thing probably would have happened to me.”

My fingers are shaking when I put the cigarette to my lips, and my throat is so clogged with tears that the smoke doesn’t make it to my lungs. A waste of a cigarette.

“My family doesn’t even live here.” Riley puts his hand on my arm and even though every cell in my body wants to push him away, I don’t brush him off. “I think I’ve almost accepted that I’ll never know what happened to them.”

“Parents?” I ask, defying every desire inside me to remain detached.

“Yeah. Mom and step-dad.”

“Siblings?”

“A younger sister.” His voice catches.

“Girlfriend?”

“Not at the moment.”

We stand in silence for a few seconds before Riley turns the questions back on me. “Parents?”

“Mom and dad. Married for twenty-five years.”

“Siblings?”

“Fifteen-year-old brother.”

“Girlfriend?”

A smile curls my lips. “Not a moment.”

Riley chuckles behind me and I turn away from the grisly scene below. He’s inches away. So close I could count his eyelashes if I wanted to. Long thick lashes that frame his beautiful brown eyes. Why can’t this sexy man distract me more?

“How’d you get here?” I ask. “When everything was going nuts, how did you make it to the school?”

Riley sighs as he trails his fingers up my arm. The soft touch sends tingles of pleasure through me. “I was at work, and just like you I was trying to get home. I had a place on the other side of town, but of course I never made it.”

“The roads were blocked,” I whisper.

“Yeah. Cars everywhere. People too.”

“Only they weren’t people.”

“No, they weren’t.”

My heart’s already pounding when his mouth closes over mine. It’s rough and desperate, and I feel the same way. We’re both torn between the need to cope and the need to forget, and it’s driving us to do crazy things that make no sense. Like fucking in my high school English class with the window wide open.

Life sucks.

Never breaking the kiss, I push Riley back until he slams into the teacher’s desk. Once we’re there I pull back just long enough to rip my shirt off. Like Tori, I’m not wearing a bra, and the second my breasts are free Riley is on me. Cupping them with both hands as he lowers his lips to my nipple. He sucks it into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it until my head spins.

My body is throbbing with need as I reach for his zipper, desperate to get his clothes off. Once his pants are undone, I reach inside and wrap my hand around his dick, marveling at the size. Even soft he’s big. Like porn star large. I’ve never felt anything like it, and just thinking about having him slam into me again makes me wet.

“Damn, you’re big,” I gasp, circling his length with my fingers. Moving my hand back and forth until he’s straining against his jeans.

Riley groans and stops his assault on my breasts long enough to pull his pants down. His dick springs free, and seeing it with my own eyes makes my knees weak. If I didn’t already know he could fit in me, I wouldn’t believe it.

“How the hell do you walk around with that thing?”

He chuckles and wraps his hand around it, stroking it slowly. “You mean without making other guys die of envy?”

I grin up at him as I lower myself to my knees. “Exactly.”

Riley raises his eyebrows and his hand falls away, giving me a chance to take over. I wrap my fingers around his hard shaft, holding it as I move closer. Opening my mouth. I run my tongue over the head, eliciting a groan from Riley. When I wrap my lips around him he sucks in a deep breath. I take as much of him into my mouth as I can, but it isn’t enough. I have to grip the base as I bob my head back and forth. He’s just too big. Even with my hand working part of him, he threatens to choke me. He’d need an old-time sword swallower if he wanted someone to take all of him. That’s not me.

Riley grabs my head as I got to move, holding me firmly while I work my tongue over him. I can tell he’s holding back when his fingers tighten on my scalp, and even though I love that he’s turned on, I’m not ready for him to be done.

I pull back and get to my feet. “Not so fast, cowboy.”

“Cowboy?” he says with a grin.

I shrug. “I’m in a cowboy kind of mood.”

I strip my pants as he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. Once we’re both naked we go back to kissing. Making out in the middle of my English class without a stitch of clothes on feels like some kind of crazy fantasy I would have had in high school, only back then it would have been my English teacher. Damn that guy was hot.

Riley’s hard dick presses against my stomach, bringing me back to the present.

“On the desk,” I say, biting down on his lower lip.

Riley turns and shoves everything to the floor before climbing onto the desk. Once he’s on his back, I climb on top of him, kissing my way up his hard stomach to his lips. I can’t get enough of his kisses. They’re rough and powerful, and so sexy it makes my knees weak. So weak I almost collapse when I try to straddle him. He groans when the head of his dick rubs against my entrance. I’m so wet it’s practically running down my legs.