If These Walls Could Talk (29 page)

Read If These Walls Could Talk Online

Authors: Bettye Griffin

BOOK: If These Walls Could Talk
4.08Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
Chapter 45
The Currys
August 2005
C
amille knew that when Reuben closed the door behind them in their bedroom he had bad news. “I talked to the bank today,” he began. “They wanted a definite date of when we'll be bringing the mortgage back upto-date.”
“What'd you tell them?”
“That I don't know. That the job market here isn't as plentiful as it is in New York.” He paused. “They said they can't wait any longer. They're going to begin foreclosure procedures against us.”
Camille felt her heart beating with loud, fast thuds. They would have to leave. But she loved living here, loved seeing wildflowers growing along the side of the road in the summertime. You never saw flowers in New York, unless they were already cut and being sold in bunches by street vendors. She even liked seeing the snow fall in the winter.
Where would they go if they returned to New York? Worse, what would everyone say? Reuben's family would have a field day, making one snide comment after another. But they would have to stay with someone, at least temporarily. They could neither afford to pay their mortgage nor rent an apartment until they had some money saved.
Tears filled her eyes. All she and Reuben had wanted was to live someplace where their children could enjoy the American dream, where riding a bicycle didn't present a logistical nightmare, someplace that would appreciate in value and allow them to have a little something of their own instead of making a landlord richer each month. But due to bad luck and—she couldn't deny—poor planning, they were about to lose it all. They'd only gotten to the very edge of their dream.
Her body went rigid. The people on the
Titanic
who didn't get into lifeboats must have felt this sense of impending doom as the ship descended into the frigid waters of the North Atlantic. But those unfortunate folks all died. She and Reuben wouldn't stop living because they lost their house.
One concern loomed over everything. “Reuben, where will we go?”
“We'll have to figure that out. First we'll have to start packing so we can get our things moved into storage. As far as where we'll stay, I'm sure that Mom will let Mitchell and me stay with her. I thought maybe you and Shayla can stay with Arnelle and Tiffany.”
“Arnelle!” Camille felt genuinely horrified by this prospect.
“I know you two have had some rough patches the last couple of years, but Arnelle seemed grateful to us for letting Tiffany come out for the summer. I'm sure she'll want to help us now that we're in a bind.”
“I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, Reuben. Tiffany spent the summer here two years ago, just before you got laid off. I'm sure Arnelle's forgotten all about it by now. What she'll remember is that we couldn't accommodate Tiffany last year.”
Both Arnelle and Brenda had asked if their daughters could come out for the summer, but Reuben had said no. He explained that at fourteen, Mitchell was old enough to supervise Shayla alone during daytime hours that since he now worked nearby, he could always come home if needed. He also reminded them that with the sharp reduction in their income they couldn't afford another mouth to feed, anyway. Reuben expressed surprise that his sisters didn't show more consideration, to which Camille could only shrug.
“Well, maybe you can stay with your father and stepmother in Inwood,” he suggested.
“Oh, I don't want to do that, either. That would put us in a different borough.” Camille didn't have to ask why they couldn't all stay together. No one they knew had an extra bedroom. She doubted that anyone even had a sofa bed.
“You'll have to stay someplace, Camille.”
“Yes, I know. But we seem to be taking a lot for granted. What if no one wants us to stay with them? It's a lot to ask of a person, Reuben. To have two people descend on you for an unknown length of time. It's a disruption, no matter how hard we'll try not to get in the way. Who knows how long it will be before we can afford a place of our own. You don't even have a job!”
“I know that once I get to New York I'll be working soon. I'll contact the store's human resources department. If anything, they'll hire me. I'm sure there's a department manager job opening somewhere. Once we're living in the city again I won't have any restrictions. I can travel to Westchester or Long Island if I need to. And I won't believe for one minute that there's even a possibility of our families telling us we can't stay with them. They know we have no place else to go.”
“I hate the idea of our being separated,” she said. She knew she sounded whiny, but she couldn't help it. She hated the thought of her family not living together under the same roof. How had Douglas and Tanisha Cole managed? she wondered. Did they have the same feeling of fear and dread she was experiencing right now? What was it that Mitchell had said? “They didn't even know where they would sleep.”
The thought of the Cole family made her remember something. “Reuben, two years ago, when you first lost your job, I promised Mitchell that he would always have a roof over his head, that you and I would take care of him. Douglas and Tanisha had just lost their house, and he was so upset that his friend Alex had to leave Arlington Acres. Now I feel like I've broken a promise to him. I've never done that before.”
“You haven't broken your promise. He'll still have a roof over his head, and he'll be taken care of. He won't be going around hungry and sleeping on park benches.” She flashed him a “that's horseshit” look, and he went on. “Mitchell isn't a little kid anymore, Camille. He's old enough to know what it means to lose a job. He knows how hard we tried to stay afloat. A few weeks ago he even asked me if he could get a job this summer.”
Her lower lip dropped. “You didn't tell me that!”
“I didn't want you to know. I knew his reason for asking. He knew I wasn't making enough money to take care of us. My fourteen-year-old son wanted to get a job and help out. How do you think that made me feel?” Reuben's eyes narrowed, like he was squinting in the sun, but Camille knew he was fighting back tears.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered.
“I'm dreading having to tell Mitchell and Shayla that we have to leave here.” He bowed his head. “I'm sorry, Camille. I kept hoping that our luck would change. I've even been buying lottery tickets. Don't panic, I only get one ticket per drawing.”
“Reuben, someone already died and left us money. I think we've already had our share of luck,” she said coldly.
“I know. But I have to hope. Right now it's all I have.”
“I don't think we should tell the kids until we have a plan in place about where we'll be staying. It'll be less frightening for them that way than saying ‘We don't know' when they ask where we're going. Because you know they'll ask. Besides, they'll be starting school next week, and that's stressful enough by itself.”
“Yeah, that's fine.” He walked over to the window and went outside on the deck, his hands resting on the railing as he stood in front of it.
She watched him for a minute, then followed him outside. “What's on your mind?”
“It's beautiful, isn't it? Everything I ever dreamed of. A house on the lake. This may sound silly, but I figured we'd be here until we retired. I even imagined Shayla getting married here, provided she didn't invite too many people. I saw it all in my head. I was going to put up a little gazebo for the ceremony, have cloth-covered tables flanking a dance floor . . . It was going to be beautiful.” He added a muttered, “Silly, wasn't it?”
“That's not silly, Reuben. I had the same thought.”
“I love this house. Before I lost my job I felt like a king in a castle. Even with all the hassle of commuting, it all seemed worth it when you and I got in that tub for a soak and turned on the Jacuzzi jets. I hate like hell to leave it to go sleep on somebody's couch.”
“I know.” Camille looked out at the scene. One of the home owners was out on the lake in a canoe with his two children wearing life jackets. It seemed almost criminal to think about having to pack up and leave on this beautiful summer day.
Her shoulders twitched at the sound of a sob. She quickly realized it was coming from Reuben. She hastily took his arm and steered him toward the house. This was no place to break down. You never knew who might be lurking around the corner, and the whole neighborhood didn't need to know their problems. Bad enough that they'd all know soon enough. “Come on inside,” she coaxed.
“I'm sorry, Camille. I'm so sorry I couldn't pull it off. I guess you hitched your wagon to a loser when you married me.”
His words pulled at her heartstrings. She forgot about her resentment and anger, all the feelings of he-should-have-done-this or he-shouldn't-have-done-that she still sometimes harbored, in spite of her efforts to be more supportive of him in recent months. “Reuben, I won't have you thinking that,” she said sternly. “It's not true. You're not a loser. You've had bad luck, that's all. Thousands of people lose their jobs every week. A lot of them lose their homes. The insurance companies don't even offer job-loss mortgage-protection insurance anymore because they had to pay out too much money, remember?”
He looked at her sadly. “My God, Camille, I wish there was one good thing that we can say came out of this, but I don't see it. Where the hell is our silver lining?”
She went into his arms. She thought about how annoyed she'd been that she had to rise in the middle of the night while he got to sleep, about all those months when she'd held him personally responsible for their predicament, and she suddenly knew what was most important: Reuben had stuck it out. He hadn't been like Milo Young, walking out on Dawn and Zach. Heaven knows he could have, and he threatened to after that huge fight they had had the first time she and Dawn had touched up each other's hair and she'd made those smart-ass remarks to deliberately embarrass him. She'd been foolish enough not to care, but now she knew she'd be lost without him.
“Maybe it's in the fact that we still love each other,” Camille said, “that we're still committed to each other. You and our children are what I live for. I'll do whatever I need to so we can all live together under one roof again.”
His voice broke as he said, “I'm sorry, Camille.”
She held him tightly, her own tears falling. “Reuben. We won't go hungry. We won't be homeless. It's not your fault. This type of thing happens to people every day. We'll be all right. I'd rather lose the house than lose you or the children.”
He buried his face in the nook where her neck met her shoulder. “I love you, Camille.”
Chapter 46
The Youngs
September 2005
D
awn happily snatched up the hand-addressed envelope in her mailbox. Milo had been sending her $350 twice a month. She wished he could send more, but at least she was getting by. Zach was old enough to stay at home alone over summer vacation, so she didn't have to pay Destiny King to keep an eye on him. She'd enrolled in consumer credit counseling through the credit union here in Pennsylvania, keeping one credit card for emergencies and cutting up all the rest. She couldn't afford to keep them. Banks and even department stores had started charging thirty to forty dollars if payments were received even one day late, and she couldn't always pay them on time.
She continued to honor her credit-counseling agreement, which made for dramatically lower payments, and kept up with her utility bills. She paid what she could toward the mortgage but usually had caught up within thirty days. Still, she couldn't help wondering how Camille and Reuben managed to hold on to their house all this time.
Once inside the house she opened the envelope from Milo. He usually sent postal money orders so the funds would be available right away. She'd deposit it in her account tomorrow.
She took a deposit slip and began filling it out so it could get in and out of the bank quickly. She glanced at the money order to confirm the amount. Wouldn't it be nice if Milo sent more, like four hundred?
It came as a heart-stopping shock to see that the money order was only for two hundred dollars. She stared at the figure in disbelief. “What the hell . . . ?” Milo hadn't said a word about sending less this time.
She dialed his cell phone. “Milo, what's going on?” she asked without preamble. “You only sent me $200 instead of $350.”
“I'm sorry, Dawn. I'm trying to save for a deposit on an apartment. I can't stay here forever, and it's already been four months. It's starting to become really trying for Donald and Carmen to have me underfoot, and I'm sure that even Shawn is wondering how long I'll be sleeping in his room.”
“Milo, I was making it with the money you sent. Barely, but I was making it. If you cut me down to $200 a month I can't make it. What am I supposed to do?” she asked, her voice shrill.
“Dawn, I'm doing the best I can. I'm paying Donald and Carmen for their inconvenience, and I've got some bills I take care of, like our cell phones and my Visa.”
“I've got the bulk of the cards here, Milo, and you know it!” But even as Dawn said the words she knew he had a point. He couldn't reside with the Triggs family permanently, like an adopted child, and four months was an awfully long visit.
Still, he was the one who had decided to leave. She hadn't thrown him out. She hadn't done anything except try to support him emotionally. Look at how badly Camille Curry treated Reuben as his period of underemployment stretched into years. If anything, she had expected Reuben to be the one to walk out, not her own husband.
Tears filled her eyes. How would she make up for this shortfall? She'd already cut expenses to the bone to come up with extra cash. She turned the water heater off at night, washed the dishes in the kitchen sink instead of running the dishwasher, and did all the wash in cold water.
It was that damn commute, she thought. Since her credit counseling had so greatly reduced her monthly payments, the biggest drain on her salary other than the mortgage was the expense of getting to and from work. If she could only cut down on it . . .
An idea had formed in her head months ago, when Milo first left, but she quickly dismissed it as being a bad idea. Now, with Milo's financial support so diminished, she knew she had no choice.
She spoke to Zach about it when they sat down to dinner. “Zach . . . Your daddy isn't able to help us out as much as he'd like to. He has expenses of his own, living in the city. It's gotten a little uncomfortable for him to continue staying with Miss Carmen and Mr. Donald, and getting an apartment in New York is very expensive.”
Zach looked at her with a crushed expression. “Will we have to go back to Brooklyn, too, Mom? I really like it here. When I get to high school I want to go out for the swim team. Besides, I won't be able to keep Stormy if we go back to our old apartment.”
She chuckled, in spite of her despair. “That's great about the swim team, Zach. But there's no old apartment in New York to go back to, Zach. Those buildings were built to give middle-income people a decent place to live, but the agreement to charge lower rents is about to expire, which means that anyone moving in will have to pay full market value. An apartment the size of our old one will cost more than this house every month.” She hesitated, quickly trying to choose her next words. “I like it here, too, and I'm doing my best to keep the bills paid, but I have to economize even more. There's only one way I can think of to do that, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea.”
“What is it, Mom?”
He looked so concerned. When had her baby boy gotten so mature? Regardless of that, Dawn knew he wasn't emotionally ready for what she was about to propose.
“I can save a lot of carfare back and forth if I stay in the city during the week and only come home on the weekends,” she finally said. “I have a coworker I can stay with. But it would mean leaving you all alone. Well, other than Stormy,” she quickly added.
Zach looked a little insulted. “I'm thirteen. That's old enough to stay by myself. I was here alone all summer.”
“Yes, I know, but you're not old enough to stay by yourself overnight. I could get in a lot of trouble if anyone found out. I'd be arrested and taken to jail. It's called child endangerment or something like that.”
“I wouldn't tell anybody, Mom. You know I'd never send you to jail.”
“I know you wouldn't, Zach. But when you're here by yourself it'll seem different. Our house might suddenly seem very large when you're in it all alone.”
“Will you call me?”
He looked a little less confident after her last remark, she noticed. “Of course I'll call you,” she said. “Plus, I'll be available to you day and night, whenever you want to talk to me. I'll carry my cell phone everywhere, even in the bathroom.” She laughed in an effort to dissipate his fear. “Listen to me, Zach. If you don't want to stay here alone it's all right. I'm going to leave it up to you.” Even as Dawn spoke the words she prayed Zach would go along with the plan. She dreaded having to return to Brooklyn in failure, the object of all her friends' pity.
Instantly she felt a stab of guilt. My God, what kind of mother did that make her—willing to put her own reputation in front of her son's well-being. All this stress had her freaking out big-time. She'd better get hold of herself before she did something really stupid.
“If you come home every night like you do now, what will happen?” Zach asked.
She took a deep breath. “We won't be able to stay here. We'd have to go back to Brooklyn to stay with Grandma and Grandpa, I guess.” She shut her eyes briefly, not happy about that thought at all, but where else could she go? Milo had already stretched Carmen and Donald's kindness to the breaking point. “Zach, I really want you to know that I've been trying very, very hard to make it for us. But you have to understand. I'm not just asking you to do this for a week. It'll be on an ongoing basis, until I can get a job here in Pennsylvania, or at least in southern Jersey. Someplace where it won't cost so much to get to work.”
“I'll be all right, Mom. Don't worry about me.”

Other books

Suzy Zeus Gets Organized by Maggie Robbins
Interference by Maddy Roman
Open Wounds by Camille Taylor
Lost Words by Nicola Gardini
But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman
The Immortal Highlander by Karen Marie Moning
Beneath the Bleeding by Val McDermid
Nyght's Eve by Laurie Roma
Some More Horse Tradin' by Ben K. Green