If You Can't Stand the Heat... (Harlequin Kiss) (19 page)

‘And we definitely can’t afford the new rent?’

Ellie shook her head. ‘Nope.’

Ashnee looked down at her hands, beautifully decorated with henna designs. ‘So we have to move? To the old Hutchinson place?’

‘Mmm, if only I can get Mrs H to sell.’

Ellie looked up as the stable door opened and lifted her hand to greet Merri who, as per usual, had Molly Blue on her slim hip. She indicated that she was on a call and Merri nodded and wandered over to the table where she usually worked, where two less experienced bakers were making macaroons.

Ellie listened with half an ear as her mum repeated her words back to her. She knew it was Ashnee’s way of thinking the problem through, so she half listened and watched the conversation between Merri and the other bakers. Merri looked cross and the bakers frustrated, and when Merri picked up a batch of baked macaroons and tossed them into the dustbin behind them Ellie felt her temper heat.

Merri had no right to do quality control when she wasn’t even working on the premises. Right—she needed to sort this out before she ended up with no macaroons and no bakers.

‘Mum...’ Ellie reached out her hand, grabbed Jack’s hard arm and pulled him into the camera’s view ‘...meet Jack. Jack—Ashnee. Jack and I are kind of seeing each other...have a chat while I sort something out.’

‘Uh...’

Jack looked from her to the screen but Ellie ignored his panicked face. Good grief, anyone would think she’d asked him to meet the Queen! Ellie rolled her eyes and walked across the bakery. One pair of annoyed and two pairs of mutinous eyes looked back at her.

‘What are you doing, Merri?’ she asked, keeping her voice low and even.

‘The macaroons were lumpy,’ Merri stated, allowing Mama Thandi to take Molly from her. Merri placed her hands on her hips. ‘That means the mixture was under-mixed.’

Ellie walked over to the dustbin, opened it and grabbed one of the discarded macaroons. It wasn’t Merri-perfect but they could have sold the product. And, dammit, Merri had wasted time and energy, electricity and ingredients, when she wasn’t even supposed to be at work.

Ellie dropped the pastry back into the bin, closed her eyes and hauled in a deep breath. She felt like an old dishrag, with every bit of energy and enthusiasm wrung out of her. And the two people who’d always been her backstop, her support structure—the other two pillars of the bakery—were wafting in and out or, in her mum’s case, wafting around the Indian sub-continent, while she buckled under the responsibility of keeping the bakery afloat.

It was her fault. She’d allowed them their freedom. But enough was enough. She was done, and if they didn’t step up she’d collapse under the weight and Pari’s would come crashing down.

She would
not
let that happen.

Ellie opened her eyes and as she did so took a step towards Merri, grabbed her wrist and pulled her across the bakery to her table.

‘What is
wrong
with you?’ Merri demanded when they reached Jack, rubbing at her wrist in irritation.

‘You!
You
are what is wrong with me!’ Ellie snapped back, and then she pointed her finger to her mum, on the other side of the world. ‘And you! Both of you are going to listen to me!’

Jack cocked his head and stepped back.
Clever man
, Ellie thought. Get out of the area about to be firebombed.

‘You first.’ Ellie looked at Merri. ‘You either work here or you don’t. You aren’t allowed to walk into my bakery if you don’t and do quality control.’

‘I was just...’ Merri’s words trailed off.

Huh
...Ellie thought.
My scary face is actually scary!
She steeled herself to say what she needed to. ‘I love you, Merri, and I desperately want you to come back to work. Next week is the beginning of a new month. Either get your ass back to work on that day or get fired. Have I made myself clear?’

‘Ellie, let’s talk about this,’ Merri replied, in her most persuasive voice.

‘We’re not talking about anything! That’s the way it is. Be here or don’t bother coming back.’ Ellie held her stare until Merri turned away and flounced off.

Round Two, Ellie thought, and looked down at her mum. This next conversation would be just as hard, if not harder. She bit her lip and looked for the words. ‘Mum, I know that I told you to take this time to travel, to live your dream, but I’m yanking you back. I need you here. I cannot do this alone.’

Ashnee looked at her for a long time and Ellie held her breath. What if she said no? Refused to give up her travelling? What would she do then? Ellie felt panic rise up in her throat at her mum’s long silence. Just when she didn’t think she could stand it any more Ashnee’s huge smile filled the screen.

‘Oh, thank God!’

Ellie blinked once, shook her head and blinked again. What was she so excited about?

‘I didn’t think I could stand another minute!’ Ashnee cried. ‘I’ve been desperate to come home! I’m sick of the heat and the crowds.’

‘But... But...’ Ellie looked at Jack, who was quietly laughing, obviously enjoying every minute of this drama. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘Me neither!’ Ashnee said cheerfully, dropping her bare feet to the floor. ‘All I know is that I’m catching the first plane I can. Which might take a couple of days, since I’m somewhere near nowhere.’

Ellie sat down on her chair and looked bemused. ‘Okay. Good. This is a bit overwhelming.’

‘Love you, baby girl!’ Ashnee blew her a kiss. ‘I’ll e-mail you as soon as I have some flight deets.’

And with a wink and a grin her mum was gone.

Ellie stared at the screen for a moment longer before looking up and around. Her mum was gone and Merri was nowhere to be seen. She rubbed her hands over her face, feeling slightly sick at her actions and her words. The impulse to go after Merri was overwhelming...what if she didn’t come back? Ellie half stood and felt Jack’s strong hand pushing her back into the chair.

‘Don’t you
dare
go running after her.’

Ellie looked up into Jack’s laughing eyes and hauled in a deep breath. ‘What have I done?’ she whispered.

‘Something you should’ve done ages ago,’ Jack replied. He hooked a friendly arm around her neck and chuckled. ‘And I have to say...when you finally decide to kick ass you don’t take any prisoners.’

* * *

A few evenings later Jack wandered into the kitchen as Ellie took a plastic container from the fridge and placed it on the counter. After kissing her hello and getting a lukewarm response he sent her a keen look, trying to work out what was wrong—or more wrong than usual. He knew that she was super-stressed at work, and he suspected that their undefined relationship added another layer of tension to her.

They were reaching a tipping point, he realised. Soon one of them would have to fish or cut bait.

Leaning his forearms on the counter, he peered through the clear lid at tuna steaks covered in a sticky-looking marinade. In the past couple of weeks he’d had more home-cooked meals than he’d eaten since he left home, and fresh fish, properly done, was a treat he never tired of.

Ellie rolled her head and he knew that the knots in her neck were super-tight. ‘Spit it out, El. What’s wrong?’

‘Apart from the normal?’ Ellie tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling. ‘Horrible day.’

‘What happened?’

Ellie placed a strange vegetable on the wooden board and removed a sharp knife from the block of knives close by. He didn’t recognise the vegetable and wrinkled his nose.

‘Bok choy cabbage. It’s good for you,’ Ellie stated.

‘If you say so. Your day?’

Ellie tossed the cabbage into a frying pan. ‘Psycho bride, late deliveries, flood in the upstairs toilet. Samantha wrenched her ankle. Elias is sick.’ Ellie took a huge sip of the wine he handed her and sighed with pleasure. ‘I need this.’

Ellie pushed a tendril of hair back from her face as she heated another pan for the tuna. Working quickly and competently, she took the tuna steaks to the stove and tossed them into the hot pan. ‘Will you get some spring onions out of the fridge, please?’

The steaks sizzled and the room was filled with the fragrant aromas of soy sauce, ginger and garlic. Grabbing his own knife, Jack sliced up the spring onions and asked her where she wanted them.

‘In the pan with the bok choy,’ Ellie replied. ‘Can you get plates?’

Jack handed her the plates as directed. ‘Did you manage to get to chat to your mum about the new premises at all?’

Ellie rubbed her eye with her wrist. ‘I took her to see the place and showed her the plans that James the architect drew up. She likes it—likes the building, the plans. I’m not quite sure if it’s the travelling or the jet lag or her spiritual journey, but she shrugged off the issue of me not having enough money in my trust fund to buy the building at Mrs H’s price and do the renovations, insisting that it’ll all work out.’

Ashnee had smiled, hugged her and told her that she just had to have faith—a commodity Ellie had run out of a long time ago.

She was also on the brink of losing her mind, and her life was a pie chart of confusion. The segment labelled ‘Jack’ was particularly large. Ellie looked at him, sitting at the kitchen table, savouring his wine, his long legs stretched out and his bare foot tickling a dog’s neck. She knew that she had only days, maybe hours left with him, and every time she tried to envisage life without Jack in it, her breath hitched in her throat.

She’d never felt fear like this before... What she felt for him terrified her... This was true fear, being confronted with a life without Jack in it. He was only ever supposed to be a fling...when had he turned into someone so damn important? Someone she thought she was in love with?

Thought?
Bah! Someone she was horribly, unconditionally, categorically in love with. Dammit...he had her heart in his hands and she knew that when he left he’d drop-kick it over a cliff. It was going to hurt like hell.

Ellie shoved her fist into her sternum and hoped like hell that she was confusing what she was feeling with indigestion. Well, she could always hope...

Ellie quickly plated the tuna steaks and sprinkled sesame seeds over the bok choy before putting them onto the plates.

She gestured to his plate. ‘Eat. It’s getting cold.’

Jack, looking thoroughly healthy and relaxed, eagerly took her advice and concentrated on his supper, which he ploughed through. He caught her look of amazement at his empty plate. She was barely halfway through hers.

‘Hungry?’

‘For food like that? Always.’ Jack stood up and helped himself to the last piece of tuna steak and the other half of the bok choy cabbage.

‘By the way, your mum phoned the bakery today, looking for you.’

Jack lifted his head and frowned. ‘What? Why?’ He picked up his mobile and shook his head. ‘My mobile has a signal. What did she want?’

Ellie smiled. ‘That’s the odd thing...nothing, really. We had a perfectly pleasant chat about the bakery and what I do and...’

‘And she was sussing you out. I told her I was staying with you.’ Jack leaned back in his chair and sighed, frustrated. ‘Sorry—only child, doubly over-protective mother because I was so sick for so long. She nursed me through it all and can’t quite cut the apron strings.’

‘I enjoyed chatting to her. Luckily I can talk and ice at the same time, because it was a long call. She said to remind you about Brent’s memorial service. He’s the donor of your heart, isn’t he?’

‘Mmm. He died when he was seventeen. It’s been seventeen years...’

‘Your mum said to let his family know if you can go. She said that they’d understand if you were on assignment.’

‘That’s code for
we’d rather not have you there
,’ Jack sighed. ‘It’s a gracious invite, but I suspect that seeing me would be incredibly difficult for them. I imagine they’d feel guilty for wishing he was alive and not me.
I
feel guilty for being alive...’

‘Oh, Jack.’ Ellie rested her chin on her fist. ‘Survivor’s guilt?’

‘Yeah. Are you going to say something pithy about me not needing to feel that?’

‘I wouldn’t dare. How could I, not having walked in your shoes?’ Ellie toyed with her fork. ‘So, are you going to go?’

Jack’s eyes flickered with pain. ‘I really don’t know. But I do know that I have to be back at work some time next week.’

‘Ah.’ Ellie felt a knife-point deep in her heart. So he’d be gone within the week? Her heart stuttered and faltered and felt as if it would crumble. She had only days more with him. Days to make enough memories to last her a lifetime.

‘El, don’t look at me like that.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like you wouldn’t say no if I took you right now,’ Jack replied.

Ellie cocked her head, pretending to think as heat spread into her womb. She had such limited time to make memories that would have to last her a lifetime so she figured she might as well start immediately. ‘I wouldn’t say no.’

Jack’s eyes widened and Ellie laughed at his shocked face.

‘You’re joking,’ he said, his voice laced with disappointment.

Ellie fiddled with the edge of her top and sent him a slow smile. ‘What if I’m not?’

Jack’s fork clattered to his plate. ‘I think my heart just stopped.’

He lifted his hand, leaned across the table and, as per usual, pushed back a strand of hair behind her ear. Ellie shivered as his finger rubbed the sensitive spot there and trailed down her neck.

‘No going back, Ellie. Right here, right now,’ Jack muttered, his eyes on her mouth.

Ellie leaned back in her chair and grinned at him as she pulled her tank top over her head to reveal a white, semi-transparent lacy bra.

Jack clutched his chest. ‘Heart attack imminent.’

She stood up and walked around the table, standing in front of him while she undid the button that held her soft wraparound skirt together.

‘Well, I will slap you later for joking about that—right after I’ve had my way with you.’

Jack’s eyes dropped as the skirt fell to a frothy puddle on the floor, showing her amazing long legs and the smallest scrap of white lace. Placing his hands on her hips, he turned her around. His finger traced the line of her underwear.