Ignited (33 page)

“Nobody’s going again.” I jumped up and grabbed Alec’s arm before he could take another step. I placed myself between the two of them and pointed a finger at each. “You two are going to have to get along, whether you like it or not. What happened to the camaraderie from yesterday?”

“That was a one-time thing,” Alec answered. “It was only for you.”

It was clear from his expression that Nathan agreed.

At least there was one thing other than their hatred for each other that they agreed on. They both cared about me.

“Then continue to do it. For me.”

That might have been the only thing I could have said that got them both to back down. Still, just in case, I kept my stance in the middle as Alec retreated to his chair and Nathan reclaimed his post against the wall. Callie looked a little disappointed at missing what would have been a hell of a fight. I knew because I’d seen it once already. I didn’t need a sequel.

I looked between the two of them. “Now, what are we going to do?”

“We?” Nathan asked.

I turned to face him. It was clear he didn’t include Alec into any equation he was a part of. “Yes,
we
. You, me, and Alec.” There was the subtle sound of a throat clearing behind me. “And Callie,” I added without removing my determined eyes from Nathan’s. 

“He’s a Skotadi, Kris.”

“So am I.” I ignored the cold shiver that ran down my spine at saying those words.

“No, you’re not,” he said with just as much bullheadedness as I expected.

Alec started behind me, “I’m pretty sure we—”

“Shut up, Alec.” I kept my focus on Nathan. “We’re going to need his help.” I turned to Alec and added, “If you’re willing to help.”

“That’s why I came back for you,” he said to me. “To help you.”

I heard a snort behind me and turned to the source. Nathan was looking at me like I was crazy. He gestured to Alec, “He’s one of
them
.”

“I’m one of them,” I hissed between my teeth.

I could feel Alec and Callie glancing between Nathan and me as we stared each other down. It was obvious we had some talking to do. Callie was the first to pick up on the vibe. I heard her approach Alec behind me.

“Wasn’t that a McDonald’s we passed last night down the street?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“Let’s get some breakfast to bring back.”

There was a hesitation, and I sensed Alec’s reluctance to leave. Finally, miraculously, Callie nudged him by us. She gave me a reassuring nod as they passed.

I had all intentions of standing my ground, putting up a fight, and staying strong. The moment the door shut, leaving Nathan and I alone, the gravity of the situation hit me, and I crumbled.

I was going to become a Skotadi.

I wanted to run, to escape the future that awaited me, but settled for bolting outside onto the back porch. It was midmorning now, yet the sun beating down on me did nothing to lessen the chill coursing through me, and I wrapped my arms around myself.

Nathan followed. “Kris?”

“This can’t be happening.” I spun to him. “Can it? Is this real?”

With Alec gone, Nathan’s wall was down, his features soft and caring. His concern was visible, but he pushed even that to the side as he pulled me into the confines of his arms. They folded around me as if to shelter me from my own destiny. I gripped ahold of them, seeking his strength.

He lowered his mouth to my ear. “I won’t let it happen.”

“This might be the one thing even you can’t save me from,” I murmured against his shirt.

He bristled like I had offended him and pushed me back to look down at me. “I’m not going to stand back and do nothing.” There was a challenge in his voice.

“I’m not either,” I returned.

“Then we’re in agreement.”

“That’s about the only thing we agree on,” I muttered.

A ghost of a smile curled his lips. “I wouldn’t go that far. We agree on some things.”

“Not the big things.”

Nathan’s arms dropped from their wall of protection around me. “Like Alec?”

I nodded. Why was Alec such a sensitive issue for him? Okay, aside from the fact that Alec was supposed to be evil...because he wasn’t. Not really. Not yet.

Alec wanted to help me. Didn’t he see that?

“I know you don’t like him,” I started. That earned me a snort from Nathan, but I continued unfazed, “I think I’m going to need his help.” I pulled my shoulders back and met Nathan’s eyes firmly. “I
want
his help.”

I waited for a response from Nathan and, when it came, it wasn’t what I expected. In fact, it came out of nowhere. “What were you crying about earlier?”

Talk about a change in the subject.
I backed up a few steps. “What’s that have to do with anything?”

“Just answer the question.”

“When you tell me what the relevance is.”

His nostrils flared. “Did it have anything to do with Alec?”

“What? No.”

Why would he think Alec had made me cry?

“Then what was it?”

“Why does it matter?”

“It just does.”

I gave him my I-can-be-a-stubborn-bullheaded-pain-in-the-ass-too face.

“Kris, I need to know why you were crying. What were you upset about?”

Why?

“Kris...”

“It was you!”

He backed up as if I had slapped him. “Me?” 

“Yes, you idiot. You almost died, in case you forgot. I sure haven’t.”

He looked strangely relieved, but sounded skeptical. “You were crying because of that?”

“Am I not allowed to be upset that you almost died because of me?”

“I didn’t—”

“What were you thinking?” I connected a balled up fist with his chest. Then another, and another, and he let me, before grabbing my wrist after the third strike. 

His voice was softer than his grip. “Only about getting you out of there.”

“And you would do it again.” Those were his words, spoken to me last night, which I repeated bitterly. 

“Yes.”

“Why? Why would you do that for me?”

He let go of me and shrugged his shoulders. “Isn’t it obvious?”

I shook my head. I wanted to hear him say the words. I needed to know if I was right, or if I was completely wrong in thinking that I was more to him than the little girl he had guilted himself into protecting. He had kissed me, so I couldn’t be that far off base, right?

“I care about you,” he answered.

Though he had said the words I’d hoped to hear, one question still remained. Was it the little girl, or the mature young woman she had become, that he cared about?

“You don’t have to keep protecting me, Nathan. I’m not that little girl anymore.”

“I know that. I wasn’t thinking about it like that, Kris. I protected you because I wanted to, because I really do care about you.”

Me
. He cared about me, not the little girl who thought he was her guardian angel all those years ago. My intuition had been right. All this time, while I had been falling for him, he had already been there, suppressing his feelings behind orchestrated words and acts of indifference. 

Maybe even a few lies?

“You were never going to leave, were you?” I asked in a small voice. Had he said it just to make me think he didn’t care?

He shrugged and lowered his head to avoid my eyes. “I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it.”

Oh. I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice. “But you wanted to?”

“No. I
needed
to.”

“I don’t get it. Why?”

Nathan tossed his hands up with a shrug and rushed through with his answer like he knew how ridiculous it sounded, but it was the best he could come up with, “Because I care about you.” I could see that he had something to add. I waited and he hesitated, like I have seen him do before, but this time, he went through with his answer. “I thought it would be best, for you, if I weren’t around.”

Just how ridiculous I found that explanation to be was audible in my voice. “Why would you think that?”

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“No, I’m not.”

He looked down at his feet for only a second. When he looked up at me, there was a fire in his eyes, and it wasn’t because he was mad at me. “You really want to know why?”

I managed only a small nod because he took a step just then, closing the distance between us and stealing my next breath. Next thing I knew, I was pressed between him and the railing, and his mouth was claiming mine with a fierceness I hadn’t expected, even from him. I was so stunned it took me a second to respond—but only a second before I softened and opened myself to him.

His fingertips brushed down my sides, coming to a stop at my waist, where he gripped to lift me onto the railing. My mouth parted with a small gulp of surprise and he plunged deeper. His hands rested on my hips as he wedged between my knees. My hands slid up his chest and over his shoulders to the back of his head, where I buried them in the tufts of hair I found there, holding him to me, never wanting him to stop what he was doing to me.

Much too soon, he did, and left me feeling bare. Exposed. Empty.

He entwined his hands through my hair and, with a subtle tug, tipped my face up to his. Nose to nose, our heavy breaths mingled, and our eyes met.

“That’s why,” he murmured. He inched back just enough that some of the fog lifted, and I remembered some of what we had been talking about before the world’s greatest kiss had distracted me.

“I shouldn’t...” His voice was thick with emotion. Or maybe lust. “I shouldn’t want this. The way I look you now...changed somewhere along the way.”

He sounded distraught, and I tried to pull him to me again, as if kissing could solve everything, but he held firm, frustratingly close. Not close enough.

I considered the possibility that he may be the type of guy that responded better to conversation, and so, I opted for that angle. “How long have you felt like this?” I asked him.

“A long time.”

“How long?” I pressed.

He shrugged bashfully.

“Since the car accident?” I asked quietly.

He grimaced uncomfortably. “Around then.”

I knew that dream had been real. His anguish over almost losing me, that sort of kiss—it had all been real. And, I was sure that it had been the moment he’d realized his feelings for me.

“This is still a little weird for me,” he continued, pulling me from my thoughts. “You were three when I first found you. I watched you grow up the last six years.” He shrugged as if that explained everything.

“What? You think you’re too old for me?” I guessed.

“I
am
too old for you.”

“You’re twenty-two.”

He tapped a finger to his head. “Up here, I’ve experienced thirty-five years.”

“But you don’t look thirty-five.” My eyes wandered over the young tight body in front of me. Even clothed, I was reminded of what I knew was underneath. “I went to school with a girl who dated a forty year old, who
looked
forty. That was gross, but you are definitely not gross.”

He gave me one of his almost smiles, but I knew he still wasn’t convinced.

“Besides, I’m going to be eighteen soon, and then I could date anybody, any age, I wanted,” I continued.

Finally, I saw the trace of a dimple. “Are you trying to make this sound better?”

I shrugged, feigning innocence.

“Age is only part of the problem,” he added somberly.

“What’s the other part?” I asked hesitantly.

“Alec, for one.”

My stomach flip-flopped.
Uh-oh
.

“I know how into him you were, and maybe still are....” He trailed off and he may have been giving me an opportunity to correct him, but I didn’t.

I couldn’t. Not when he might be right. Granted, I had fallen hard for Nathan. But seeing Alec again had brought back some of the feelings I still had for him, deeply rooted in my heart, and I couldn’t ignore them.

“But I don’t...” I started meekly, fighting for the right words, any words, to say to Nathan. “I don’t feel for Alec what I feel for you. It’s different somehow.”

“But it’s there,” Nathan insisted. “And that’s okay.”

That earned an eyebrow raise from me. “It’s okay that I have feelings for both of you?”

Really? Did
he
understand what he was saying?

He nodded, and then hesitated in a way that worried me. I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to like his reasoning. “I don’t know if I’m prepared to act on this—this thing between us.”