Ignited & Unhinged (Billionaire Secret, Book One)(Billionaire Romance, New Adult Romance, College Romance) (10 page)

Damon is leaning against his black town car.

He’s wearing black everything: slacks, shirt, and blazer, even though tonight is more semi-formal than black tie.

His straight brown hair is smoothed away from his face.

He looks delicious.

I consciously smooth out my short black dress and the subtly raised lace collar.

I was never quite sure what semi-formal was supposed to mean.

Once I’m a couple of feet away, he steps forward to pull me up into his arms.

He smells of citrus and chocolate.

“You look gorgeous.” He leans down to kiss me briefly before opening the door.

“Thanks, you look delicious.” I had meant to say something like debonair, but my mouth was faster than my brain.

I’m already in a lust-filled haze.

“Delicious? Hmmm. I guess I do,” he chuckles and holds out the blindfold.

Five minutes later I’m inside the large foyer of The Society house.

“I have to go check on something. Will you be OK, waiting here?” he asks.

I look around. Everything seems the same as last time. The chandelier, the marble, the staircase, the closed doors in front of me.

But unlike last time, I’m alone.

There’s nothing to do but shrug.

“One more thing.” He pulls out the satin blindfold again.

“Seriously?” I gape at him.

“Well for now I’m in control of what you see and if I’m not with you, I can’t control what you experience. So humor me, OK?” he hesitates.

“Don’t want to scare you off,” he finishes with an impish grin.

I nod.

It isn’t difficult to agree since I really have no idea what to expect.

I had a feeling each visit to The Society would be mind-blowingly different.

Damon leads me to a small plush bench on the right side of the foyer.

I sit down and secure the blindfold.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes to lead you to our destination for the night.”

I nod again and hear his footsteps disappear behind a door.

It isn’t as loud as last time.

I can hear music in the distance and voices.

There is no way to tell where they are coming from.

I’m suddenly wondering what the floor plan of the building looks like.

What’s upstairs? Is there a basement? What did they keep in the main hall that Damon didn’t think I was ready for?

After a couple of minutes, I hear footsteps approach.

He takes my hand tenderly and guides me forward.

We walk…twenty feet? Thirty feet?

I hear him open a door and then he has both his hands on either side of my hips, maneuvering me forward.

I can tell the room is small and pitch dark even through the blindfold.

I hear the door close behind us. The uncertainty of the situation gives me goose bumps.

He spins me to face him and then suddenly he is on me.

His pliable lips move firmly against me, spreading me wider so he can explore.

The kiss is deeper than any we had previously shared. I don’t know if it’s the dark or the blindfold, but I open to him. Our tongues are deeply entwined.

I’m on fire again.

I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling completely unhinged. Not being able to see anything is making every touch feel like sex.

He moves forward a couple of steps pinning me against something and reaches down to hitch my left leg around his hip.

He presses into me.

He is tender and urgent at the same time. He moves his lips to my neck.

His attentions are making my legs feel like jelly, I can barely stand.

“Mmmm,” I moan.

His lips are back on mine, stifling the last of the moan, when I hear a sound deep in his chest.

It’s different.

It doesn’t sound familiar. Doesn’t sound like Damon.

Oh God.

I’d just assumed.

I push the man away from me and pull off the blindfold.

I can’t see anything.

He flips a switch on the wall.

My eyes sting from the light as I register that I am in a small closet, possibly under the stairs in the foyer.

And alone with Erik West.  

He flashes a deep lustful grin.

Holy crap!

He’d led me in here and almost given me an orgasm—after only a few kisses.

The blood rises to my face, hot and heavy. But I can’t tell which is the dominating emotion.

Anger?

Embarrassment?

Lust?

In that moment I don’t think, I reach for him.

We collide into each other.

I want him.

All those weeks of fantasizing, of remembering the last time I was here—replaying the conversation in the art gallery for the last few hours…

His response is animalistic.

He pins me again, hiking up my dress until it’s around my stomach.

His mouth devours me.

Possesses me.

He’s just reached under my thong when the thought of Damon seeps back into my consciousness.

I came here with Damon
.

I stop his hand and pull away.

I rest my hands on his shoulders to steady myself and my breathing, then smooth out my dress.

I move around him to the door. Turning to look behind me, I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

His light green eyes blaze with excitement. He’s swaying slightly. I can feel his impulse to reach for me again.

The attraction vibrates between us. A current that connects us.

I will my feet to move. To leave the small space before I give into the magnetic wave coming off of him.

One step at a time. Until finally I’m back on the plush bench. Blindfold on.

A minute later I hear a door open and close. The closet under the stairs.

I stop breathing. My skin turns hot. I don’t know what I’ll do if he comes near me again.

Thankfully, the footsteps move away from me. Disappearing completely.

It’s another few minutes before I hear footsteps approach again.

I can’t tell who it is, but somehow I know it
isn’t
Erik.

When he reaches me I have to make sure. “
Damon
?”

“Yeah, sorry, it…took longer than expected. I was half expecting you to have left.” His voice is tender, apologetic.

“What took longer?”

He takes my hands, bringing me to a standing position. “This is unconventional, my bringing you to two gatherings without you being an official member so I was just making sure that it was all OK. It is, I’ve got the go ahead to bring you whenever I want,” he sounds pleased.

He removes the blindfold.

I blink to refocus my vision.

“We’re going this way tonight.” He takes my hand and leads me down the right hallway this time.

About half way down we take another hallway to the left, there is a single open door up ahead.

Damon stops abruptly to position me in front of him.

“Close your eyes and listen,” he commands.

I can hear soft sounds…sex sounds.

A woman moaning. Bodies moving together.

Not the same noises I remember from last time with…Erik.

I stop listening as I remember his body unapologetically fucking that woman…her crying out in ecstasy.

My thoughts shift to his lips. The way he’d kissed me.

The way he’d devoured me. Almost making me come in the closet…by just kissing me.

Our animal instincts had compelled us as he’d nearly ripped off my dress…just minutes before…

Damon slides one hand over my stomach and down. Touching me through the fabric of the lace dress.

He starts massaging, my body responds. The blood falls lower and lower. Until I’m pulsing.

I try to focus on Damon, but I’m still thinking of Erik.

Is this right? Being touched by a man while being aroused by the memory of another?

I stiffen. Am I being deceitful? Fickle? Tacky? Slutty?

The words come one after another.

The judgment overwhelms me.

The words chase me out of my pleasure-seeking body and into my over-thinking brain.

Damon doesn’t seem to notice the change.

He takes my hand and we continue down the hall.

We stand at the entrance of the large room.

Two couples are enjoying each other. One set against the far wall to our right, a brown-haired man and woman, their backs facing us.

Her arms are spread wide against the wall. He has firm control of her hips as he takes her gradually from behind.

The slow rhythm makes her moan low in her throat as the movement progresses.

The other couple, a dark sandy haired man with blue eyes and a petite brunette with a face I can’t see, are straddling each other on a large four poster bed.

Their movements are also controlled, deliberate. She moves her hips up, down, and then circles into him. Her gyrations make them both pant.

The man’s hair color reminds me of Erik again.

Although this man is attractive, Erik is a chiseled God next to him. My body responds as I watch.

Damon takes my hips and drives me back against him.

I can feel the length of his cock through my dress.

He kisses my neck as I watch.

I turn my attention from the couple on the bed with Erik’s hair to the couple against the wall.

I want the couple on the wall to be me and Damon, and I want the couple on the bed to be me and Erik.

As Damon runs his tongue down my neck and grabs my breast, thoughts of Erik in the closet flood my brain.

More and more they disconnect me from my body and into my judgmental brain.

I can’t think because I’m so aroused and I can’t progress in my arousal because I can’t stop thinking.

I need something to stop.

I need to get a handle on what I think, what I want and figure out what the hell I’m feeling.

My hands cover Damon’s, bringing them down my body. Turning, I whisper into his ear.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know exactly why, but I want to leave.”

I look up into his face.

He looks surprised, then confused, and then…
distant
?

His face lands on something like resolve.

His hand comes to the small of my back, immediately leading me out of the mansion.

We don’t speak until we’re back in the car.

“So are you OK?” he asks, not looking at me.

Now without all the noise and stimulation I want him to touch me, but he’s sitting as far away from me as possible.

“Yeah, of course. I just…I don’t know. It was a little overwhelming,” I’m embarrassed.

This was the second time I’d left The Society like a total drama queen.

He looks intently into my eyes and then sighs.

His silver-blue eyes linger on me, he’s deciding something.

Then he looks away, resigned. “I’m sorry. I think I may have read you wrong.”

He shakes his head. “You are so new. I wanted you to be ready for this,” he gestures absently out the window, “because I really wanted to share it with you, but I don’t think you are.”

He sounds angry now. “The last thing I want to do is pressure you into liking something you don’t.”

I want to reach out and touch him. Make him understand what had just happened. “Oh, it isn’t that. I did like watching those couples. It’s just that…I don’t know.”

Ugh
. Where are the damn words when you need them? Not being able to explain it properly makes me feel stupid.

I’d never had problems explaining. Using my words to smooth out a situation or allow someone to see something through my eyes.

I can’t explain it and it makes me feel worse.

I don’t want to be a fickle girl—how confusing I must be to him. How confusing I am to myself.

His voice is low, pained, the words come out all at once, “Elle, that’s twice you ran out of there. It is pretty clear that you aren’t cut out for this. I am so, so sorry for bringing you here.

“Please believe me when I say that it was never my intention to throw you into this world. As I mentioned before, you were the first person I had ever wanted to bring here and my desire to do so clearly obscured any rational thought.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, “I mean, my God, you only lost your virginity a few weeks ago and here I have you at
this
place?

“It’s unheard of and I’m a real fuck for placing you in this position. You should have just told me you weren’t comfortable coming here,” he sounds contrite…and sad.

He didn’t understand. Of course he didn’t. I hadn’t said anything.

“But that isn’t it. I wanted to come here, both times. When we were in there just now, I couldn’t shut my brain off and words are just failing me right now. Please stop apologizing. This isn’t your fault. I don’t feel pressured and I really do enjoy the things you’ve shown me so far. I just need to wrap my head around a few things first.”

His eyes fix on me, like he’s trying to ferret out the truth.

He doesn’t believe me.

It irks me, more than it should. “Hey, I deserve the benefit of the doubt. I tell you the truth, remember? I just don’t know all of it myself right now, that’s all.” I look at him honestly.

“Do you at least believe that
that
is true?” I ask.

He narrows his eyes, deciding. “Yes.”

“OK, then.” For the moment I’m satisfied.

I know I’m not going to get further with him or myself tonight.

His voice turns formal, distant, “I think it is best if we keep our distance while you figure out what is holding you back.”

His tone makes something twinge in my chest.

“And if you figure out that you don’t want any part of The Society—that is fine, too. I promise I will leave you alone.” He’s already starting to sound like a stranger.

I don’t like it.

Do I want him to leave me alone?

I think of his arms, his chest—the way it feels when he kisses me.

No, I don’t want him to disappear.

But he’s convinced that he needs to give me space.

Maybe it’s a good thing?

It doesn’t feel like a good thing. Especially since it’s now crystal clear that we won’t be ending the night in his bed.

I stare out the window as the familiar Gothic buildings of The College come into view. For the first time I realize that he hadn’t blindfolded me on either return journey.

Probably because the windows are tinted and the night is its own blindfold.

I can barely see the old world street lamps reflecting off the uneven cobblestone sidewalks which are now glistening from the rain.