Igniting Ash (20 page)

“That is so girlie, Asher. She has you wrapped around her finger. Carry on. It’s funny to watch.”

Asher shot a glare Gabe’s way, and grunted, “There are three boxes out back that need unpacking. I reckon that job has your name written all over it. Now.”

To his credit, Gabe didn’t bother to complain, and he shifted quickly leaving them alone.

“That was mean,” Emma stated and passed a cup to him.

He clutched the warm drink between his palms. “Not as mean as Ike was to me. He should consider himself lucky.”

“I doubt he does.” Pausing, Emma turned to look out of the window in the front door. She squinted and tilted her head, but when Asher was about to ask what was wrong she faced him, smiling again. He raised a brow in question.

“It’s nothing,” she replied, waving her hand. “You know when you get that weird feeling? Like someone’s watching you? I had it in the coffee shop earlier, and got it just then when we were talking. But, as you can see, there’s no one out there.

He checked for himself, stalking over to the door and searching the street outside. She was right; there was no one out there. That fact didn’t stop his concern kicking in though.

“Are you okay? Have you felt it before today?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Stop with the dramatics. Let’s get back to your invitation. You said something about me being yours.” She closed the space between them, sighing when he folded his arms around her. Jesus, he’d never get used to the way his body lit up when she pressed herself against him. The sensations were always a revelation. “Is that your acceptance then?”

“If I remember correctly, you haven’t actually asked me.”

He kissed her forehead. “How terrible of me. I’m such a bad boyfriend.”

Her eyes widened with surprise. “Wow, again.”

“Emma Carnes, will you come on another date with me? A real one this time?”

Batting her lashes, Emma answered, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Chapter 20

Emma

Emma hadn’t told Asher the truth. The sensation of someone watching her had followed her for the last week. She’d tried to ignore it, telling herself she was being silly. It was all Bolt’s fault. They’d discussed staff security at the shelter while they’d made lunch, and from that moment Emma had been nervous and edgy.

It didn’t help when Asher’s window had been shattered while she was around. A small part of her blamed herself, even though she had no idea why that was the case. For that reason, she kept her thoughts from Asher. He could do without her doubts. He had enough of his own.

She stared across the bowling alley at the man in question. He was getting better. He opened up more to her than ever before, and Gabe had disclosed a few details about conversations he’d held with Asher. She kept her questions gentle and never too invasive unless he responded to them. There was something about Asher that shot straight to her core, and the more time she spent with him the more her feelings grew. There had been boyfriends before him; one she’d cared about deeply. None of them matched Asher.

Emma was falling for him, and there was not a thing she could do to fight it. Even when she was uncertain Asher would reciprocate. Her feelings for him scared her, so there was no way she would confess them to Asher and scare the hell out of him too. She would continue to tread carefully.

From his place at the bar, Asher turned to face her and shot her a lopsided grin. His hair flopped over his forehead and into his eyes. He flicked his head back, shifting the hair before he winked at her. Her insides flip-flopped, only growing in intensity when he lifted their drinks and started to walk across the room toward her.

The date at the bowling alley was unexpected. The place was busy and that would usually mean Asher would avoid it. However, he appeared comfortable, oozing confidence in his ripped jeans and worn, black top. Emma was a bit overdressed because she hadn’t known where he intended on taking her. He’d refused her request to drop by her flat and change her clothes. From the glint in his eyes, he was more than happy with her dress. The heels had to go though. Now replaced by the retro bowling shoes.

“I felt you staring at me, angel.”

“I wasn’t
staring
. I’d only just looked your way,” she protested, taking the beer from him.

His gaze drifted down her body like a slow, seductive caress. It left her skin hot and a shiver racing up her spine.

“Those shoes don’t really go with that dress.”

“Says the fashion guru? The guy in torn jeans?”

Asher chuckled then took a swig from his water. “Last time I got dressed up you took those clothes off,” he said, lowering his voice.

Emma spluttered, his statement unexpected. “I recall clothes being removed by both of us.”

“True, but I’m pretty sure now isn’t the time for a repeat performance.”

Emma gasped and gave his chest a light shove. “You’re not funny. I wasn’t sure what to wear because you never told me where we were going. I did not expect here.”

Asher chuckled again. “I thought it would be fun. We don’t have enough fun.” He placed the water bottle onto the table and pulled her close. “I’m trying here. Trying for normal, Em. You deserve normal. Fact is you deserve so much more, so that’s why I’m attempting to give you this.” He ran his hand down her back, lightly resting it at the base of her spine. “Let’s have this.”

Relaxing against him, she sighed. “What lane are we on?”

He put some space between them and took hold of her hand. “This way, my lady.”

Emma followed him, noticing the lingering glances some of the teenage girls shot Asher’s way. They giggled between themselves, whispering and pointing. They liked him; hadn’t Emma been drooling over him herself only a few moments ago? They rarely went anywhere outside of the bookstore, so watching the obvious attraction in the girls’ eyes was strange to say the least. It didn’t stop her clinging tighter to him, showing everyone that Asher was with her.

“Lane twelve, just for you.” He sat behind the console and began tapping their names into it. “Angel and Ash. Has a ring to it doesn’t it?”

“Not as much as
winner
does.” She sashayed over to the lane, collecting a bowling ball on the way. She knew he was watching her, could feel his stare burning holes in her back, and because of that she took her time bending over to bowl. She may have also given her bottom a little shake.

The ball hit just two pins, the tremble in her hand and her awareness of Asher leaving her distracted.

“Nice try,” Asher scoffed. “But I’ll show you how it’s really done.”

Emma wasn’t about to let it drop. She waited until he selected a ball, stalled until he bent over, until she whispered in his ear. “I know how to play with balls, Asher.”

The bowling ball hit the floor with a thump, before curving into the gutter. Emma laughed as he grunted. “Damn, tease.”

“Just using all of my available tools. And making our date fun. Like you said.”

“Mean, Em, very mean.” His tone was serious but he ruined his stoicism by kissing her hard on the lips. She clutched at his top, relaxing into his arms as his lips moved over hers. The giggle from the group of girls was what distracted them, causing them to pull apart.

Asher’s brows knitted together, and he shuffled awkwardly on his feet. Emma started to tell him to ignore them when he turned and began walking over to the rack of balls. “Time to show you how it’s really done.”

The old Asher—the quiet loner—disappeared quickly, leaving behind a confident man she was growing to adore. Watching the way he moved, showed her how much he’d changed. No longer did he hang his head or stare at the floor, and if there was a fleeting moment of uncertainty, he hid it well.

Emma realized there were times when he searched for balance. His eyes would dart around the crowded room, that familiar scowl appearing across his brow. Those were the moments he touched her, taking hold of her hand, kissing her or holding her close. She liked how comfortable he was doing that now. He didn’t think before he reached for her. It was instinct to him now, like it was for her.

His cheer snapped her out of her musings, and as she looked at the end of the lane she saw he’d knocked down all of the pins. Strike. She clapped, her eyes widening when he rushed at her and picked her off her feet. Asher swung her around, whooping his happiness. “Strike! I told you I’d show you how it was done. Beat that.”

“And why would I want to do that when you’re so happy when you’re winning?” Her feet meet the floor as his lips landed on her forehead in a lingering kiss.

“Told you I’d do it.”

“You did.” Emotion had her heart clenching and pounding a rapid beat. Carefree Asher was a sight to behold and one she admitted she loved.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, stooping to meet her gaze. “You’ve gone a bit pale. I was only joking around.”

She loved him.

Staring at him she knew that truth absolutely. It shouldn’t have been a shock; she had accepted her growing feelings, but love? Love was something much more. Would Asher be receptive to such overwhelming honesty? He was changing—evolving as he opened up to her, but was he open enough to accept her love?

The thought that he wouldn’t doused her warm buzz in cold reality. She couldn’t lose him, couldn’t accept that he wasn’t now an integral part of her life.

“Em? Angel, what’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, she gulped before unleashing her revelation. “I love you.”

His jaw stiffened, his green eyes sharpening. “Aww Em, you don’t want to be doing that. You’ve seen me. I’m far from a good bet.”

“Bit late to be warning me now.” Rejection left a sour taste in her mouth.

“I recall I warned you before now that I was a mess. I don’t know how to be boyfriend material.”

“You do,” she protested. “You’ve been exactly that for weeks with me now. You’ve taken so many steps to alter the path you were on.” She gestured around the bowling alley. “Look around you, Asher. A couple of months ago you would have never come here. Let alone be here on a
date
.”

He sneered. “That’s because I didn’t have a date to bring.”

“Bullshit,” she responded, giving his chest a shove. “Ben made sure you didn’t stagnate in the book shop. He got you out. That’s how we reconnected, idiot. Don’t dare tell me you haven’t been out, kissed, or slept with a woman in all these years.”

Hanging his head, he rubbed the back of his neck with the palm of his hand. Emma barely caught his mumbled reply. “Not like this.”

“What do you mean? I just told you that I love you, yet you told me not to.” She ignored the stares from the people around them, too set on getting answers to care. “You say that sleeping with other women isn’t the same as it is with me. So either they were amazing and I’m not, or you do feel something for me. That’s why we’re different. Which is it, Asher?”

He started to speak but closed his mouth before anything came out. Her frustration grew, both with him and herself for being so damn stupid. Her confession should have been kept to herself. Opening her big mouth had gotten her nowhere.

“Not here,” he said as he looked anxiously around the alley. His hand wrapped around her arm and he led her out of the building and around the back. One solitary light cast its glow across the ground. They were alone except for a couple of broken bowling pins and a stool by the back door. Emma assumed it was where the employees came for a break or to smoke.

“Why did you say that?” Asher asked, his voice strangled and husky. He ran his fingers through his hair, giving the ends a tug. She hated seeing him confused. He never thought he was worthy, and yet he couldn’t be further from the truth. He gave his friends so much, though only ever expected pain and recriminations in return. Emma’s heart wept for him. She wouldn’t give up on him, no matter how hard he tried to turn her away.

“I said it because I mean it,” she said, lifting her hand and pressing her palm to his cheek.

“Why then? In there?”

“It just came out. Ash, you looked so happy I couldn’t stop from blurting it out. I love it when you forget everything and simply be you.”

He took a step back, shaking his head. “I meant what I said. I’m not good for you. You’re…Well, you’re so perfect and amazing and innocent and…
clean
. I’d just dirty you and that’s wrong.”

Hurt burned a hole in her chest. No amount of swallowing scorched the flames. “Don’t you want me anymore? Is that it?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” he hissed, his hands clenching at his sides.

“Is there no way back from this? Are my feelings too much for you? Are we done, Asher?”

“I…Fuck!” He kicked the wall.

Emma’s eye pricked with tears. However, she blinked them back. This was her fault, so she’d take his upset and cry later. Alone. “You’re not ready. I’m not who you want, am I?”

Asher froze, his eyes zeroing in on her. His nostrils flared, his expression hard and focused totally on her. Her pulse quickened. She wasn’t scared of him, however she had experienced his mood swing before and knew this was how he processed stress. She backed up against the fence to give him some space. To gain some of her own.

“You think I don’t want you? You actually think you haven’t knocked me for six since you walked into my life?” He hit his temple with the heel of his hand. “I can’t fucking think straight when you’re near me. And even when you’re not my ability is still diminished. It’s you. All of it is you. Don’t tell me I don’t want you, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

He pressed his body against hers, his heat rolling off him and thawing the chill that had sprouted from their argument. Her back hit the fence, and her gasp of surprise echoed around the backyard when she felt his very obvious, hard interest as it pushed against the zip of his jeans. “I want you, angel.” His hips rocked against hers. “I want you.”

“There are times when I think you want me gone as much as you want me to stay,” she whispered. The pump of her blood roared in her ears.

Asher didn’t reply. His mouth crushed to hers in a desperate demand; his hands gripping onto her hips. His intense passion set her on fire, little gasps of pleasure emitting from her lips each time he adjusted the angle of his lips. Every cell in her body tuned to his as she was carried away with the strength of his kiss.

“I want you,” he repeated lowly before kissing her again.

Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, clutching at the back of his top. His lips flowed along her jaw and kissed an open-mouthed path along her neck. Her knees grew weak. This man and his conflicting emotions consumed her on every level. His desire right now was startling, an unbelievable revelation. Asher was usually so careful in public, so guarded where others could see, and even though there was no one around, it still contrasted with his normal control. She liked feeling his desperation, enjoyed knowing he felt a small amount of what she did, even if he didn’t know how to express it.