I’ll Meet You There (35 page)

“But that’s the problem, Josh.” I stepped away from him and scratched at the tears
on my cheeks. “I mean, not to be graphic or whatever, but that should have been
us
. I know I don’t have, like, any experience, but I wanted to … to do everything with
you and then you went off with her and it felt like … it made me feel worthless. It
made me stop trusting myself.”

He looked down for a minute, and it was as if there was this huge mountain between
us, and I hated that after everything we’d been through this summer, we’d have to
admit that it was impossible.
We
were impossible.

“One chance. That’s all I want,” he said.

I shook my head. “I’m just freaked that if I say, okay, yes, I forgive you, that the
war and everything will be like this Get Out of Jail Free card, like you can just
wave it around and say you were having a bad day or—”

“I won’t.”

He stepped closer to me, his eyes full of a hopeful kind of terror. I could feel the
weight of that terror, pressing against me. I gazed out at the empty field behind
the tracks. Despite the heat, the constant drought, and the unforgiving earth, things
were growing. From seeds to stalks of corn taller than me, they pushed through the
earth and survived. I decided that if I came from a place where miracles like that
occurred on a daily basis, then why couldn’t they happen to me?

“If you ever do this to me again, Josh, I’m gone. Like really, really gone.”

He nodded and held out a callused hand. “I know. But I won’t. I swear to God, I won’t.”

I was like a painter standing in front of a canvas, paint dripping off the brush,
knowing that whatever I put on it, I wouldn’t be able to take back. I had to be ready.

I pushed his hand away.

Then I leaned across the space between us and pressed my lips against his. He gasped
a little, surprised, but then his hands were in my hair and his lips were all over
me—my cheeks, my nose, my neck, my ears, back to my lips, my eyes, and—very gently—my
bruised forehead. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he half lifted me off the
ground, and we were laughing, and crying, and kissing.

He tasted like hope and healing. He tasted like the future.

chapter thirty-one

The first stars were coming out when we left the train tracks. Josh leaned me up against
his truck, and these kisses were soft and gentle. Like we had all the time in the
world. Then he pulled away a little and took a closer look at my forehead.

“How’s the head?”

I shrugged. “It’ll be okay.”

“You scared the shit out of me last night,” he said.

“I know.” I still hadn’t had time to process the whole thing yet. I couldn’t believe
I’d gotten into a car drunk off my ass. I couldn’t believe I’d been
drunk off my ass
. “God, Josh. It’s like I was possessed or something.”

I understood now what Josh had said about the night he left me, how he’d felt like
he’d been watching himself but couldn’t do anything.

He looked down at me. “What happened?”

“I just felt … I don’t know. Chris left, and my mom’s leaving, so I guess I can go
to school, but I wasn’t happy about that. I was all mixed up, and the bottle was there,
and I just thought,
Screw it
. Everyone else gets to drown their sorrows. And then you called, and … and I realized
why
I felt so crappy in the first place. Why I wasn’t happy about going.” His eyes got
sad, and I kissed him. “But I’m okay now. And I’m never drinking again. I mean it
this time.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and support that decision,” he said. “Especially because
I’m not exactly stoked about you going to San Fran and having some other dude help
you in the middle of the night.”

“Jealous already?” I teased. But just the mention of San Francisco threw me back into
orbit. The very last thing I wanted to do was leave Josh now that we had finally gotten
together.

“Maybe a little.” He looked down. “A lot?”

“I’ll just make sure to tell them about a certain Marine I know.”

“You’d better.”

My stomach growled, and we laughed.

“You want to get some dinner?” he asked.

“I guess it’d be a bad idea to pass out on you again.” I traced his jaw because I
wanted to, and now I could. “How ’bout I go to the Paradise and take a shower and
then you come over whenever you’re ready, and we’ll get some food and … just … I don’t
know. Be together.”

“I like your plan.”

It took another ten minutes for us to get to our separate vehicles, so by the time
I got back to the Paradise with Marge’s car, it was dark.

Marge was sitting by the pool when I came in. She looked up at me, eyebrows arched.
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

“I’m guessing it went well?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I crossed the patio and gave her a hug. “Thanks,” I whispered.

“Well, I love both of you to death, you know that, sweet pea.” She patted me on the
back, and I broke away.

I was halfway to my room when I turned back around. “Marge?”

“Uh-huh?”

“It’s gonna be hard. I mean, he’s … we’ll need help sometimes. I think.”

She nodded. “You know where I am.”

I went into my room, leaning against the door after I shut it. I was still sore from
the accident, hungover, and tired. This was the happiest I’d been in forever. I opened
the little drawer beside the bed and put away the box I’d purchased at Market on my
way home. Just in case. I blushed, seeing it there on top of the Gideons Bible that
was in all the rooms.

I could almost hear Chris shouting all the way from Boston:
The pact! The pact!

*   *   *

Dylan was pissed about all of it. I knew this was the first of many lectures I’d be
hearing from her.

“I know,” I said on the phone, for the hundredth time. She’d been on me about drunk
driving for the past forty-five minutes, and because I’d lost my cell phone in a ditch,
I was stuck next to the night table with the room phone.

“It’s just … you could have died. Like,
died
.”

“Dyl—I know, okay?” I deserved every word of this, but Josh was going to be there
any minute.

“And you’re getting back with Josh? Just like that?” I heard the snap on her end of
the line.

“We were never together in the first place,” I pointed out.

“The whole Jenna Swenson thing was, what, an accident? Like her mouth just fell on
his—”

“Look, it’s not like I’m okay with it. But I have to give him the, I don’t know, the
benefit of the doubt on this.”

I thought of what Marge had said in the orchard, about going with my gut.

“So you’re just gonna go to San Fran and hope he doesn’t turn back to his usual horn-dog
ways while you’re busting your ass at school.”

There was only one explanation I could give. And giving it was like jumping off a
building with my eyes wide open. I took a breath. Jumped.

“I love him.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. A very long pause.

“All right,” she finally said. “But I’m warning you right now that the next time I
see him, Josh Mitchell and I are having some words.”

I didn’t envy him that conversation, but he deserved it, and I was thankful to have
someone like Dylan in my corner.

“Fair enough.”

“And I’m gonna be your eyes and ears while you’re gone. You have to promise me that
if he messes around on you again, that’s it. I don’t care what shit went down in the
war—that doesn’t give Josh an excuse to ruin your life.”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “My thoughts exactly.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Thanks, Dyl.”

“Yeah, well, just be careful, okay? It’s not like I can go to Walmart and buy a new
Skylar if this one breaks.”

“I know.”

“And you’re the one who has to tell Chris about all this craziness. I, for one, don’t
need him yelling in my ear for an hour. So have fun with that.”

I groaned. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m sort of glad he’s in Boston at the
moment.”

“Uh-huh. Gotta go, Sean’s getting antsy. Let’s drive to Bakersfield tomorrow and get
some civilization, aka fancy coffee drinks.”

“Sounds good.”

“I love you, Sky. Even if you’re
totally insane
for getting with Josh.”

I laughed. “Love you too.”

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. I still had to get dressed, but I just needed
a minute to settle down after my conversation with Dylan. She’d gone all mama bear
on me, and I was tired after so much explaining and apologizing. My body sank into
the mattress, and I was asleep in seconds.

It took me a while to realize that the knocking on the door wasn’t part of my dream.
I opened my eyes. Another knock.

“Shit.”

I swung my legs over the bed and stumbled to the door. When I opened it, Josh was
standing in the doorway, holding a tray with drinks and a bag from McDonald’s. He’d
shaved and smelled all kinds of good. I was wearing a ratty old pair of cotton shorts
and my gym shirt from our high school, but at least I’d managed to shower.

“I fell asleep,” I said. It was a greeting and apology in one.

“I figured. I tried calling the room, but there was no answer. I hope this is okay.”

I grabbed the drink tray and set it on the table, suddenly shy. “It’s perfect.”

He stepped inside, both of us, I think, keenly aware that this room did not hold good
memories.

“We can eat by the pool if you want,” Josh said.

He put the food down and let the messenger bag he’d brought with him slip to the floor,
never taking his eyes off me.

“Or … I brought my laptop and some DVDs. We could just hang out and—or we could go,
I don’t know, wherever you want.”

“Because there’s so much to do in Creek View,” I said.

“True.” He stuck his hands in his back pockets. “Your call.”

“Let’s stay here,” I said.

He swallowed. “Okay. Cool.”

I pulled my hair into a messy bun, then reached across him and shut the door. “I think
it’s like taking off a Band-Aid,” I said.

“What is?”

“Us. In this room. We just have to…”

“Rip it off?”

I nodded.

“Right. Yeah.” He took a step toward me, then said, “Close your eyes.”

I closed them. It was like Christmas morning, but way, way better.

I felt his lips on my neck, then his hands on either side of my waist, his thumbs
grazing the skin under my shirt. My eyes still closed, I slid my hands up his arms
until they were around his neck, then his lips finally reached mine, our mouths opening,
his hand slipping up the back of my shirt, fingertips trailing along my spine. I pressed
myself closer to him and felt him react to that, which made me smile.

“Busted,” he whispered.

“Uh-huh.” I leaned back and smirked a little. “I think the Band-Aid is ripped off.”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I think we, uh … yeah.”

“Dinner?”

He leaned in and kissed me, just once. Then he sighed and nodded. “Yeah, guess we
better eat before it gets cold.”

He set up the laptop while I got the food together, then he held up a DVD case. “I
brought a few others, but this reminded me of the summer before I left.”

Top Gun
. Of course.

“Good choice. Bed or table?” I asked, gesturing at the food.

“Bed,” he said immediately.

I laughed. It was exactly what I would have expected Josh Mitchell to say, but after
our first failed attempt at this, I wasn’t sure of anything.

We talked a little, me filling him in on Mom, him telling me about a new dog they’d
gotten at the military hospital in San Diego. I sat on the side of the bed closest
to the door, so I’d be on Josh’s right side. I’d never been as aware of his prosthesis
as I was now, with maybe the first couple of times I saw him as the only exceptions.
For a lot of the summer, I’d pretty much forgotten about it. I wondered if he could
sense it. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down, kicking off
the tennis shoe on his good leg.

Josh sighed when he leaned back on the pillows. “I can see why you passed out,” he
said. “How much sleep did you get last night? Er, this morning.”

“I have no idea. And Marge was waking me up every two hours because of all the concussion
stuff.”

“You know, I had a pretty bad head injury after the bomb. They call it TBI—tramautic
brain injury. Lot of guys have it. You gotta be careful with that, Sky.” He squeezed
my hand. “Like, don’t go jumping on people’s backs.”

I smiled. “The CAT scan was fine, I’m not worried. And I feel way better—no headache
or anything. What about you? Any sleep after last night?”

“Four hours? I don’t know. I crashed after I got back from the shop—no pun intended.”

I rolled my eyes. “Wanna bet on who falls asleep during the movie first?”

“Five bucks says it’s you.”

“You’re on.” I pointed to the bedside table, where our drinks were. “Now, hand me
the caffeine.”

chapter thirty-two

Josh won the bet.

Even though snuggling up to him after we were done eating was making my heart race,
I still managed to fall asleep by the time Goose’s wife came to visit. The room was
almost completely dark, except for the light seeping in from the patio and the glare
of the computer screen. The darkness, Josh’s warmth, and the sounds of my favorite
movie all conspired to lull me into a light, dreamy sleep.

“Sky.” Josh’s voice, soft and low in my ear.

“
Hmm?
”

“You owe me five dollars.”

I opened my eyes. “Damn. Did you fall asleep at all?”

“Yeah, but you were out first.” He brushed my lips with his, which took away every
bit of tiredness I felt. “It’s, like, two in the morning. I’m gonna let you sleep,
okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I tightened my hold on him. “You can sleep here.” Heart beating, palms starting to
sweat a little. “If you want.”