I’m Over All That (13 page)

Because of my detachment regarding sexual behavior, I have nothing invested in my curiosity at what other people do. I really don’t care about the particulars of somebody’s sex
life, but I am extremely interested in how sex came into being in the first place. Just as I investigate life after death, and life before life, I would seriously like to know how sex came about. I would like to share with you a few past-life experiences I have had that gave me a clue.

I vividly remember being androgynous in the Lemurian (pre-Atlantis) time period. My state of being and that of others around me was peaceful and serene. Procreation occurred through the power of the mind in deep meditation. Each of us had male and female genitalia but what was important was the desire of the soul, which was made manifest through connecting to the God source. Each human had an equal vibration of yin and yang, female and male.

At some point in Lemurian history some of us became intrigued with the idea of dividing the yin and the yang vibration so we could observe the other with more objectivity. I was one of those who agreed to participate in what came to be called sexual division. Today every culture on Earth has a myth that describes the equivalent of Eve being born out of the rib of Adam. Out of one came two. That is what I remember experiencing. I remember the ceremony and the attendant spiritual practitioners and masters. I was immersed in a tank of very thick water which was also infused with light. Each of my seven chakra centers was open and receptive. I felt peaceful and willing to be divided. The spiritual practitioner meditated on a ray of light coming from above, which included all the seven colors of the rainbow—one for each chakra. I
joined the meditation of the spiritual practitioners as the light went down the center of my physical body, separating each chakra in half. We knew in those days that the physical body was what we had created from coagulated thought. We knew we had created our bodies with our celestial thought patterns.

Slowly, my body began to separate into two vibrations—one yin and one yang. Each was equal to the other. I directed my soul to enter the female side of my separated body. On cue, my soul mate, who was present, entered the male side. The sexual division was complete. Out of the androgynous body two were born: one male, one female—each with an inculcated soul. From then on I felt as a human being that I would always look for my other half.

What transpired next was fascinating. My other half and I had a sexual consciousness of zero. The idea of sex had never occurred to us before because we each had lived in an androgynous equal vibration. As we viewed each other separately, we were overwhelmed by the beauty of the colors of the chakra system in our other half. The colors of the chakras became the attraction if we then decided to procreate. The power of the color vibration (every color has a vibration) drew us together until our bodies touched and the separate male and female genitalia came together.

I remember this very well, and when I did guided meditations in my Higher Self Seminars in the
80
s, I included this past life experience of mine. Many people told me they felt comfortable with this idea that eons ago they had agreed to
sexual division, too. Since we now know that all time is occurring at once, my students allowed themselves to go back because it was happening
now
.

The laws of vibrational attraction are still in play today. We don’t know why we are so attracted to someone, but there it is. I think so many people are looking for their soul mate because they know it’s the other half of their previously androgynous self. The male became the outward, aggressive expressor, the female the more hidden understander of the innate spiritual connection to God. The melding together of the yin and yang vibration is what sex is.

One of the explanations for homosexuality and transgenderism could, I believe, be a profound identification with a recent incarnation as a member of the opposite sex. I believe each one of us has had both male and female lifetimes. As we make our soul’s journey through time, I think resistance to reincarnational understanding is because we feel threatened by our sexual identity. We just don’t like to contemplate seriously that we might have been a member of the opposite sex in a previous incarnation. Questions of sex and spiritual understanding of the soul are intertwined.

What each soul experiences through the march of time only adds to the complications of what sex has become nowadays. Who knows what the soul journey of a rapist or a pedophile or a suicide bomber or any other distorted soul’s experience might have been. I don’t excuse any of that behavior, but I believe such people are negative teachers for us to study and
learn from. An eye for an eye is not a punitive belief for me, but rather a karmic belief. What one commits, one receives. Though perhaps not in the time period we judge is fair.

Perhaps Hollywood is the purveyor of so much sexual violence these days because it is high time we learn more of who we are and have been. If we learned more about the soul’s journey through time in our educational system, we’d have a more peaceful and less violent world regardless of what God we believe in.

Another fascinating story of the birth of human sexuality can be traced to a set of Sumerian cuneiform tablets. These tablets are ancient, created long before Egypt became a great civilization, and have been translated by Zacharia Sitchin, Paul Van Ward, William Bramley, and others. They tell quite a story: a story of visitations by the Annunaki people who came to Earth from a planet called Nibiru. It is apparently a planet much larger than Earth and is called the Planet of the Crossing because it crosses our solar system in regular, cyclical time periods. The tablets say the Annunaki seeded the human race by genetically engineering their own DNA.

The tablets tell the story of much sexual perversion, unrest, and predatory behavior. Perhaps we have a bit of Annunaki DNA in our strands and have inherited some behavior patterns from our original parents. The cosmos is so immense and, I believe, teeming with all kinds of life that we probably were seeded by many cosmic visitors who see us as their protégés. Some abductees have reported hearing their abductors
say, “Our forefathers were your forefathers.” Even cosmic visitors seem to have a problem with saying
foremothers
. There could be no sex without both. I am one of the sexual fore-mothers of the future where hopefully sex and its theater of expression will be more balanced.

I
must do my best to get over feeling frustrated and impatient with people who are wedded to
not
thinking.

I don’t know why they do it. Or maybe they don’t
do
anything. Maybe they just
are
in the point of view they won’t give up. And each point of view has been schooled and developed by religion, social mores, and parental influence. Okay, we know all that. Maybe the operative block is fear of the unknown. Fear is taught. Babies are usually born without fear. They have to learn it. And the teachers are expert. Oscar Hammerstein was insightful when he wrote the lyrics to “You’ve Got to Be Taught” for
South Pacific
:
Carefully taught to fear and hate all the things your relatives hate.
As I see it, the question is: are these blocks inherent in our DNA? Can we trace them back to our origins?

For me, it’s not enough simply to say that God created mankind. Many translations of ancient religious texts, including
the Torah and the Mahabharata, say Eloheim created all. But the word “Eloheim” is plural. So who were these Gods? And did these Gods carry a sort of DNA karma within their soul memory? If so, then I believe every living sentient being carries some form of karma within.

So each time I’m with someone who is shockingly closed-minded, I will try to remember they have a soul history I don’t know or understand. I guess that is the meaning of compassion and tolerance. Perhaps the fear of thinking openly is passed down in our DNA. And fear promulgates aggression and ultimately Evil. So is turning the other cheek the solution because it neutralizes the karma of a negative action? Even in the face of hostile, warlike aggression, the key is to understand no one loses his life. He just incurs more karmic experience. He might lose or cause someone else to lose this incarnation but not his life. Life is eternal. So why have war at all? It’s ridiculous.

Many fundamentalists are just not open-minded enough to think for themselves. Neither are most traditional scientists. They always need hard physical evidence to believe something is true and real. How would they react if it were proved that physical reality itself is an illusion?

I must remember that closed-mindedness is nothing more than the loss of memory of who we really are.

H
ow does a person know whether they are liberal or conservative? When do these values assert themselves, and when do they start?

My mother was a Canadian with a decidedly royalist reflex. By that I mean that she revered the British royal family to such an extent that my father was often moved to make fun of her for her devotion. She always bristled, and on it went. Mother was a very loving and sensitive person, but I would have to say that about most things she was conservative. I don’t think she ever thought that much about a label for herself. Her father (my grandfather, whom I never knew) was an accomplished brain surgeon in Canada and a
33
rd Degree Mason. Mother never told me about his Masonic ties; I learned about them by reading his obituary in some old Canadian newspaper clippings she had saved. To be a
33
rd Degree Mason is no small accomplishment. Simply put, he was well versed in metaphysics and in keeping secrets. Mother certainly inherited his gift
for the latter, and because she was an accomplished gardener, she could also grasp my growing belief in reincarnation. She said she could understand living many lives because that’s what her rose bushes did. Same plant, different roses every year.

Whenever I brought my books home to read to them, neither she nor Daddy had any problems with my expanding belief system. She was a student of the patterns of nature; he’d had an out-of-body experience after a near fatal car crash, as well as a visitation from his best buddy who died on the battlefield during World War II. When Daddy told me about the night he cracked up his car, he described a terrible crash and said he had essentially died. He went through a tunnel (a familiar description in many out-of-body experiences) and encountered his own mother and father, plus friends on the other side. He said he knew he was going toward God and it would be like going home to him. However, he said, a guide of some sort stopped him from going all the way to the end of the tunnel (dying) and said he needed to go back because he had more work to do. The guide told my father that his son (my brother) needed him as well as his wife (Mother), but that I really didn’t. Dad said he obeyed the guide, came back into his body, and felt the pain of his injuries and found himself inside the wrecked car.

The moment that he had a vision of his war buddy on the battlefield was important to him because it made him realize that the soul must live on after death. When he checked on
the time of his friend’s death, he found it was exactly the same time as Daddy had seen him.

These two incidents stayed with him for his whole life, and he understood my fascination with such things completely. When we had discussions about the afterlife, he said he absolutely believed in its existence because his own near-death experience was too beautiful to deny. What he couldn’t understand was
why
anyone would want to come back to live another life.

So my parents were very open-minded to all manner of esoteric subjects due to their own personal beliefs and experiences. When it came to politics, it was another story.

First of all, Mother had a sister who was married to a communist and was also the editor of the
Daily Worker
in Toronto, Canada. When Mother decided (at Daddy’s urging) to become an American citizen, I remember Daddy taking the whole family through Washington, D.C., many times, declaiming about the grandeur of its architecture and the meaning of democracy. To Mother, it felt as if he were rubbing her nose in our nation’s revolutionary history and break with England. He was proud of America’s decision to break away from the British royal hierarchy and class-bound social structure. Perhaps Daddy was also attempting to dissuade Mother of any communist leanings just in case she, like her sister, harbored any such notions.

I remember Daddy didn’t trust Henry Wallace because he was a socialist, and he thought Roosevelt was being too liberal
in even
talking
to Joseph Stalin. Since Dad was from a small Virginia town named Front Royal (ironic name for his hometown!), he was a Mason-Dixon Line southerner who still called black people niggers and saw nothing demeaning in it.

I was brought up by Dora, our black nanny, and Daddy could always tell (as if by telepathy) whether she was going to be sick or pregnant! He was never wrong. I don’t know what their intuitive connection was, but it was deep. I played with Dora’s kids all the time. I don’t remember Daddy ever having a problem with that, or his being anything but polite and kind to Dora and her family.