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Through Jayda’s eyes, I searched every memory, looking for Landen - but he was nowhere to be seen; I realized that Jayda was not only grieving for her children, but also for not knowing Landen. As I took ownership of these thoughts, the charm on my neck warmed, and disgust for myself emerged in my soul. His memories were of me, and I’d given him every reason to believe that my soul was his. He was going to give his life for someone who never could have truly loved him.

My mood shifted to anger; if Drake could remember our lives together, then he knew all along who he was in that life. If he’d already had victory against the demon, it didn’t make any sense to me that he’d ask me to take his life. My sympathy for him diminished. I felt betrayed; he was no different from the others that guided me and Landen - they only tell us what they want us to know.

I grinded my teeth as the agony I lived through overcame me; I felt like I’d wasted three days of my life and put my family through torment – for nothing.

When the water turned cold, I pulled myself out, feeling more exhausted then when I’d began. I focused on how I’d feel in Landen’s arms and pushed the anger and betrayal I felt for Drake deep inside of me. I pulled on my robe and opened the door, looking for Landen; he was sitting on the edge of our bed, holding a very small cake with one candle burning. A smile spread across my face as he walked slowly to me, humming “Happy Birthday.” I blew out the candle and reached up to kiss him.

“
Did you cook?”
I thought, amused.

He slowly pulled away from me. “I may be able to heal and make time stand still, but cooking is a gift that still escapes me,” he said, amused by his words.

I ran my finger along the side of the warm cake, gathering as much icing as I could.

“Your mother gave this to you. I told them that I didn’t think you wanted a party,” he said, tracing the other side of the cake with his finger.

I knew my mother wasn’t surprised. I don’t think I can recall a single birthday party when I was growing up; I hated the attention, the intensity of the emotions. I smiled, remembering that every year my mother had appeared in my room with a small cake, humming to me. Landen had assumed that role now, and the reality that I was in his care was refreshing.

“She gave you some inside tips to my birthday rituals, I gather,” I said.

Landen nodded and set the small cake on the table, then reached his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. “Though, if I recall correctly, I all but had to drag you to our celebration; it wouldn’t be hard for me to assume that you wouldn’t have wanted any attention for a birthday.”

“We were in the middle of major turmoil; a party didn’t make sense,” I said, brushing the dark, wet locks of hair from his perfect blue eyes.

“We still are,” Landen said as he moved his hand to my face, “but we won’t stop living to worry.”

I laid my head on his chest, hiding in his energy. I felt his hand on the back of my head, as well as the calm he was giving me. “You can’t hide your emotions from me, Willow. We are one; they belong to me as well - and pushing them down makes us weaker,” he said gently to me.

Landen smiled slightly and let his fingers trace the dark circles under my eyes. “Anytime Drake is given the opportunity to proclaim that he’s your soulmate, he takes it – except for when Perodine told you that the darkness couldn’t live in me and that I was your soulmate. His intent was to save your life at any cost, and his emotion was full of grief - a grief that he’d already passed through in another life.” He sighed, then continued, “And when you told us that Jayda and Alyianna showed you your lives, a rush of panic came to him; it was as though he was prepared for you to scold him.”

“I don’t understand,” I said in a weak voice.

“Willow, I told you the day that Delen was redeemed that I didn’t care who we may have loved before; we had each other now, and that’s all that matters. We can’t change it,” he said.

“I want to blame someone. I want to seek revenge on whoever caused Drake to live in his illusion, but these memories...they tell me it’s me, that I did all of this to myself - and now you have to endure it with me,” I said.

Landen let his hand fall in mine, then he pulled the covers back on my side of the bed; I gladly lay down. He was at my side, and his eyes searched over me carefully; his emotions were balanced. I didn’t understand...if I was him, I’d be jealous, angry.

He began to trace my eyes and smiled slightly. “Why are you not angry?” I asked.

“If I was angry, that would mean that I doubted our love, that I thought there was a chance he could take you from me. You know that doubt doesn’t live in me - not tonight, not in this life.”

“When we find my ‘twin’ and she’s your bad soulmate, I can’t promise you that I won’t be jealous – but that doesn’t mean that I have any doubt that you belong to me,” I said.

He smiled, bringing his dimples to life, then laughed under his breath. “There won’t be any need to get angry because hopefully she and Drake will be so consumed with one another that they’ll leave us alone,” Landen said, amused by his words.

I rolled on my back and stared at the ceiling. “You don’t think I’m wrong about the twin, do you? I mean, I had a twin then, Samylia, and she couldn’t stop the darkness.”

Landen pulled himself up on one arm and looked over me. “Let your thoughts rest. We have no way of knowing if it’s love of soulmates or the power that rests in your heart that makes the darkness tremble,” he said, smiling slightly.

“I’m going to ask him tomorrow. His memories must hold an image of her.”

His smile lessened, and he traced his fingers on my arm, trying to calm me. “I have the impression that his memories are only of the lives he had with you; he may not see her.”

He laughed casusally at me as his hand moved across my back. “I will never lie to you. I’ll tell you what their intent is, what their emotion is; I only want you to be at peace with your emotions in return,” Landen said.

I heard the truth in his words and shifted my emotion to calming bliss. Smiling, he kissed my lips softly and gently reached his fingertips to my eyes to close them. We rose at the foot of bed, and for the first time in days we submitted to each other completely, taking in the healing power and blissful emotion.

Chapter Fourteen

We slept past dawn, which was unusual for us. When our hungry bodies woke us, Landen rolled to his side and let his fingers run across the base of my eye. “You look rested now,” he said, smiling.

Landen’s eyes grew serious. War was our conflict - not Venus. In the three days that we’d spent playing the devil’s games, the tension between Delen and the surrounding world had grown. My wish for that day was to find a balance, to be thankful for what I’d accomplished and understand that I couldn’t save them all at once. For my intent to come to life, I knew I’d have to have an alliance with Drake.

A smile came across Landen’s face. “Have you learned patience?” he asked, slightly amused.

“I’m trying...don’t get your hopes up,” I said, winking at him.

In the distance, I could sense Brady’s intent to come there, and I knew he was getting close. As he felt it, too, Landen’s eyes widened and he rushed out of the bed. “He’s coming to help me build a wall around that passage in the yard,” he said.

I kept forgetting about that passage; it was where we saw Evelyn for the first time, and it led to Drake’s doorstep. “No unwanted guests,” I said under my breath.

“I just want to be able to have a little more warning if someone does pass through it,” Landen said, pulling his clothes on and looking out the window. I rolled on my back and stared at the ceiling. Feeling Brady, my father, and Ashten coming with the intent to ‘help,’ I counted every emotion I could feel surrounding our home. I realized that Marc had brought Beth there and that they were all gathered at August’s house; I smiled as I felt their bliss.

When Landen was done dressing, he smiled down at me. ”Hungry?” he asked.

I was starving, but I wasn’t up for company; I wanted to ease into this long day. I turned my head from side to side. “I just want to lay here for a while,” I said.

Understanding, he leaned down and kissed me before he left. I listened as he let everyone in, and they gathered in the kitchen for breakfast. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but from the fright I felt coming from Brady, Ashten, and my father, I imagined that Landen was telling them everything that we’d lived through over the past few days. When I felt them go outside, I pulled myself out of the bed and dressed for the day. My growling stomach wouldn’t give me time to make our bed.

I made myself a sandwich and watched as a stone wall in my side yard came to existence. It was going to be at least six feet high and two feet wide. I promised myself I’d plant a growing vine around it, or at least paint it. Paint...I hadn’t painted in almost two weeks. I knew it would make me feel better, help me sort through my emotions.

My studio was at the top of the stairs. I opened all the doors and let the light flood in, then sat down in front of a blank canvas and stared. The only image in my mind was the evil angel - and I had to get it out. I picked up my brush and began to paint more vigorously than I ever have in my life; I painted so quickly, I wasn’t even focusing on the image that was coming to life, just the utter details. Hours passed, and I painted on, determined to leave it all on the canvas, to get out what I was I trying to say, trying to think.

When I couldn’t find another detail that needed my attention, I stepped back, completely captured by what was in front of me. It was what I saw just before I took my life: images of me, Landen, and Drake - and the devil controlling us. As I stared, my mind replayed each second in vivid detail; the pain, the judgment - it was all so overwhelming.

I sensed that most of my family had gathered at my house, but I didn’t realize how close Olivia had gotten to me.

“Wow,” I heard her say.

I snapped out of my illusive stare and turned to smile at her. The pink in her Aura had faded, and I could tell that she hadn’t had any new dreams lately.

“It's one thing to dream it – but to know it really happened...that freaks me out a little,” Olivia said, stepping closer to the canvas.

I looked from her to the painting, then back at her, awestruck. “Your dream was
that
detailed?” I asked.

She tilted her head slightly. “Yeah...I mean, the only thing different is that I was focusing on the demon,” she said.

I looked at the canvas: the demon was in the center of the painting, and his wings stretched out to each side; they were the background.

“He
is
the focus,” I said in a stunned tone, thinking that Olivia’s eye for art was weaker than I’d given her credit for.

She pulled her eyebrows together. “Um...no...you - or who you were - is the focus,” she said, rather sure of herself. She walked closer to me and put her arm around me. “Take another look, Willow.”

I sighed, closed my eyes, then opened them again. The demon was the center of painting, and just before him I’d painted Landen and Drake. The sides of the painting, framing Landen and Drake, were the images of Alyianna and Jayda.

“The demon is the center,” I replied, not wanting to see that the largest images were Alyianna and Jayda.

“Half of your face is on each side of the painting. The demon is the last thing on your mind; Landen and Drake are the next largest images,” Olivia argued.

Aggravated, I pulled her hand and took her closer to the canvas. “Do you see the ash wings? They’re the entire background; you’re just focusing on its body,” I argued. I knew I’d spent more time painting the wings than anything else.