Immortal Darkness (Phantom Diaries #3) (7 page)

I glanced down at my coffee cup, unable to face Chace’s disappointed gaze. How could I possibly tell him that my heart was already taken and there was nothing he or Aaron could do to change that.

If I dared be honest with myself; if Eric were to propose… it would be impossible to turn him down.

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6

I
’d been back in my apartment all of two minutes when I heard a knock at the door.  For all my affection for Chace, I profoundly hoped he hadn’t followed me up to my apartment.  He’d walked me all the way back from the coffee shop and had seemed eternally reluctant to let me leave.

With my hand to the doorknob, I closed my eyes a second and took in a deep breath before pulling the door back.

My heart soared and all my worries with Chace and Aaron disappeared as I faced Eric. Joy, elation, euphoria all travelled through my body with lightning speed. The affect was physical, quickly rendering my gut to mush while every inch of my skin tingled with nervous anticipation.

Dressed entirely in black, he stood tall and strong, taking my breath away. He exuded such confidence and such determination, it almost frightened me; the thought of what I’d do for him.

“Come in,” I said, backing into my apartment.

“Actually, I was hoping you could come home with me. I heard some of the rehearsals this afternoon…”

“Was I that bad?”

“Not at all, but your voice sounded strangely strained in a few areas. It’s understandable. New productions always require more rehearsals at time of adaptation.  I wanted to help you out with that.”

And I was more than willing to let him.  Something about my apartment still felt cold and unwelcoming. Being in Eric’s home, in his presence was all I really needed.

I followed him down to the waiting car and didn’t even question the need for a car when he lived so close by. The electricity between us grew and became so intense, I feared losing control of my faculties. The elevator ride down had been a test of restraint, and when his hand brushed over mine as we’d both reached for the car door handle, the burning heat inside me became unbearable.

Now in the back seat of the car, Eric quickly showed his own lack of restraint. The moment the car door slammed shut he pulled me into his arms, his fingers gripping through my hair and holding me tight as he covered my face with kisses.

“Have you any idea how much I’ve missed you?” His voice was thick and husky, while his labored breathing reflected the same intense passion I felt for him.

I smiled through his kisses. “You only left me a couple days ago.”

“Like an eternity,” he said with a playful grin. He covered my mouth with his, his lips soft and tender.

Amused by his romanticism, I ached for wanting him so much. Contrary to my time with Aaron or Chace these days, being with Eric was so easy. My body reacted to him on instinct and my heart wanted to be with him without question.

We arrived at his home after a long meandering car ride that had us rolling through quiet neighborhoods and past parks all brightly lit with holiday lights.

“This was so beautiful.  I never knew New York had so many lovely neighborhoods… and all those lights.”

“I thought you’d like it.  And with a fresh blanket of snow, it’s all so magical.”

Once inside his home, the magic continued.  Tiny white lights, soft and subtle, illuminated the dining room like a million twinkling stars.  Draped in shimmering white, the dining table was set for two.

“We never really had time to have a cozy dinner together while we were in Paris. I thought this would be the perfect way to celebrate the holidays, our return home and the start of this new production Aaron has introduced you to.”

“You already know about that?” I asked.

“Like I said, I heard a bit of your rehearsal. I was initially caught off guard when I heard new music, but I admit, it all sounds interesting. I’m sure it’ll be a great hit.”

“It has several challenging pieces.”

“Don’t doubt your abilities, Annette. Your voice can go places you’ve not yet imagined.” He took my hand and led me further into his home.

“I thought we were going to have dinner,” I argued.

“I wanted to start you off with a warm, relaxing bath.” He pushed a door open onto a large bathroom lit with strategically placed candles. The huge free standing bath steamed with heated water that was lightly scented with oils.

I shot him a skeptical gaze and he grinned.  “The heat and moisture will relax your vocal chords, while the scented oils will relax your soul. This trip to Europe and all it entailed has put more strain on you than you seem to realize. That’s why your voice didn’t completely sound like you earlier.”

He brought my fingers to his lips, his gaze locked onto my face as he kissed each digit.  “I’ll go make sure everything is ready for dinner while you settle in.”

My brief moment of trepidation was cut short by the appeal of a nice warm bath. Whatever kinks that remained after his soothing massage on the flight home were sure to be ironed out by such a lavish setting.

I let my clothes pile up on the floor, taking little care where or how they fell.  All I could think of was the sensation of that warm water surrounding my body. I stepped in and sank back. Before long my eyes closed.

When I heard the door creak open, I felt no sense of alarm; no prudish need to cover up or hide. I could hear Eric’s quiet steps as he came closer, the hush of his breath as he sat at the head of the bath.

I smiled then cooed as he brought his fingers to my scalp.  His fingers moved with expert precision, pulling out tension, pushing out strain and filling me with bliss.

“Dinner will be ready the moment you step out,” he said. His voice had changed. It was solemn, almost dark.  “I hope you're enjoying the evening I’ve set up for you so far.”

“Yes,” I said in a soft hush. The relaxation he brought me was so deep, speaking became difficult.

“You know,” he went on with slight hesitation.  “I hadn’t realized just how important you were to me… not until I saw that ring on your finger. It shook me more than I would have ever thought possible. You and Aaron… You with Rupert’s ring on your finger… It still shakes me to think about it.”

My eyes slit open, and my brain left the solace of utter relaxation, reluctant to face the conversation.  For the strong man that he was, so tall and formidable, so unbreakable, his voice trembled ever so subtly as he spoke of his love for me.

I could almost see his old scars opening up before me; his insecurities resurfacing.

His fingers worked their way to the base of my neck, the oil allowing them to glide over my skin with ease. The soothing touch that had rendered me weak and defenseless now brought out a whole other range of sensations. The working of his fingers brought them to my shoulders where soothing massage and erotic arousal played torturous games with my senses.

My breath quivered through my lips, announcing how thoroughly pleasurable his touch was.

“You like this?” he asked, though clearly his question required no answer.

His fingers travelled down the length of my arms and I became excruciatingly aware of my body.  When he leaned in to kiss me, I held back the urge to pull him into the tub with me.

“I want to make you mine,” he said before pressing deeper for a passionate kiss.

I heard the determination in his voice, even a hint of possessiveness. Swept up in the moment, I reveled in the kiss and ignored the implication of his words. The heat of his kiss burned and brought such aching for him.  My body throbbed in places I’d never given any thought to.

“What are you doing to me?” I mumbled feebly through the tangle of kisses. “Why do I lose all control of my senses when I’m with you?”

Through the blur of kisses, I glimpsed his pleased grin and dancing eyes.  I was being too easy, I thought, giving in to him like some innocent and inexperienced virgin.

A little voice at the back of my head pleaded for me to be strong, to take over the situation. I wanted to be independent, to lead my life as a single woman in New York, yet…

With his lips firmly gripped on mine, he grasped my arms and stood me in the tub before lifting me out of the water.

That little voice tried to speak up, try to reason with the raging hormones that thought only of the moment to come. Naked and glistening with fine droplets of water and oil, I felt a complete sense of abandon; of right.

This is where I belong, I thought, in his arms, in his home, in his bed. I had wanted this for a long time, ever since I first heard his voice and felt his presence at the Opera House.

He carried me, his steps sure and strong as he brought me to his bedroom. At his bed, he stopped and pulled his lips from mine. “I want you, Annette.  I’ve always wanted you, but I am not a beast, nor will I act like one.”

Right in that moment, I wanted to beg him to be as beastly as he could be, but I smiled innocently, confused by the heat of his kiss and the calm control of his words.

“You’ve made it clear you have no intention of committing yourself to a relationship with Aaron or Chace.”

Dumbfounded and wanting only to regain his lips, I nodded.

“But you’ve never spoken of your intentions towards me.”  He laid me on the bed and stretched out beside me, his gaze running the length of my body just a moment before his fingers took up the same path. I had never been completely naked in front of him, except when Kristine had possessed me, so at first, I felt shy around him. “You’re beautiful, Annette, in every way possible. I’d never imagined I could have you like this, hold you like this, but I’ll respect your wishes, if you should decide I’m pushing you too far.”

I smiled, inviting him to push me as far as I would go. “I have no reservations where you're concerned, Eric.  I never have.  All I know is that I’ve been waiting so long for you to love me back… all I want to do is let go… completely.”

“My sweetest, Annette.”  He pulled me into his arms, crushing my breasts to his chest. As his lips kissed their way over my face, his hands discovered parts of my body that had remained a mystery to him.  “I want you, for now and for all eternity.”

In the fog of his kiss, in the ardor of his passion, I resisted the meaning of what he’d just said, but the words, one by one, crept through my foggy consciousness and left me bolting upright.

“Are you okay?” He sat up with me, as stunned as I was.

I felt I’d be smacked in the belly with a two by four and turned to stare at him, wide-eyed with disbelief. He would go on to live for all eternity…  I wouldn’t. It meant little now; we were, in relative terms, the same age, but what would happen as time went on? I’d grow older while he remained forever youthful and handsome.

“Eric, what will happen to us? You're immortal.  I’m not.”

I instantly saw a frown of confusion followed with a restrained grimace of frustration.

“Is this what has you sitting upright in my bed? Now?”

“Don’t you think it’s a valid question?”

“Indeed, but the timing is debatable.”

“I want you just as much as you want me, Eric, believe me, but giving myself, utterly and completely, to a man with whom I have no possibility of a future is not something I’ll let myself do, no matter how painfully and excruciatingly difficult that is.”

He beamed with pride one brief second.  “It’s that hard to turn me down?” His beaming grin disappeared and he gazed solemnly at me.