Imperfections (21 page)

Chris and I meet up with Jay and Shawn at a bar near the Barclay center, downtown Brooklyn. The four of us are sitting at the table drinking our beers watching the Knicks struggle to keep their one point lead on the big screen. I'm trying to concentrate on what they're talking about. I can't, my mind is on Cat and Ava. Where the hell did they go? I hope it's not some crazy-ass broke down club they went to. Ava can get a little out of hand if she starts drinking too much and if Cat's drinking with her that's not good. Hopefully, Cat will remember what Chris drilled into her head back in college. Two drinks minimum, always be alert, and know what's going on around you at all times. Yeah, I doubt that's happening with Ava around.

"What's up, Nick?"

I look up at Shawn from across the table.  "Nothing, drinking my beer."

"I know that, but you haven't said much all night."

"Yeah, man, what's up? Is my sister busting your balls about the wedding?" Jay asks.

Here we fucking go.

"No, she's not."

"You're getting married to Cat and you didn't tell me? Damn, you work fast, she just came back!" Shawn says.

Great, one more person I have to keep from opening their mouths about this fake-ass marriage. I clear my throat and wrap my hands around my ice cold beer mug. I'm getting heated and I need to cool down. I take a mouthful and swallow it down. Chris must figure I'm not going to answer so he answers Shawn's question. I was going to answer the question after I took a drink. I don't have to answer to no one, not even Jay who's grilling me.

"He's not marrying Cat. He's engaged to Kate." He makes a face at Shawn and shifts his eyes back to me.

"For real, man? I didn't see that one coming. I've never even seen you guys talk."

Chris rolls his eyes up and taps the side of his mug. "They're engaged so obviously they must talk."

"I'm just saying. I guess things are different now…congratulations." Shawn holds up his glass to me, takes a long drink, and gives me a lopsided grin.

Don't worry, Shawn, I'm thinking the same thing you are. How the fuck did that happen. I can't say thank you because I have nothing to say thank you for. Instead, I raise my mug toward him, nod my head, and take my last drink.

"You know, Nick, for a man that's newly engaged you don't seem like you're too happy. I remember when Vanessa and I first got engaged I was so happy I was practically beaming. I know every man is different but I'm not seeing any emotions from you. What's up with that?"

Jay is pissing me off. If he has something to say to me, he should come out and say it. If it wasn't for Cat, I would tell him what's really going on between me and his sister with this fake engagement. "You're right; every man is different in the way they choose to show their emotions. I don't go around beaming and radiating light when I'm happy. In all the time that you've known me have any of you ever seen me overcome with happiness and joy to the point it's radiating off my ass? Chris, have you ever seen me radiate?"

Chris puts his beer bottle down and leans forward with his hands folded on the table. I lean back in the booth and put my hand on the table. Chris turns his head to Jay then back to me with a lazy smile shaking his head no. "I can honestly say I have never seen that but I would like to. Shawn, have you ever seen Nick radiate happiness?"

Shawn puts his hand on his chin and looking at the three of us says, "Nah, not even in high school when we kicked ass on the football team. We were badass. The closest I've ever seen him come to radiating is the last game he ever played in before he quit the team. I would like to see you shine like the sun, I would pay money to see that, it would be like cracking a code." Shawn and Chris smile, taking another drink of their beers.

Jay's eyes are fixed on me, beer in hand, not smiling. "I've seen you smile before, Nick, happy, having a good time. When we used to hang out with all the guys with Chris and my little sister…Cat."

He says it like I don't know she's his little sister. "I know who Cat is. Where are you going with your line of questioning? What do you want to know?" I stare at him maintaining eye contact so he knows I'm not going for this shit. Say what the hell you need to say. If he's looking for truth, I'm going to give it to him. Seeing the growing tension between us Chris intervenes.

"Guys, this is supposed to be a night out with the guys having a few drinks and a good time. Jay, back off, we didn't come here to talk about Kate or their engagement. That's none of our business; the only person that should be worried about the emotions he's showing toward his engagement is Kate."

"She's our sister, Chris; that gives me the right to be concerned whether or not she's happy with this engagement. She doesn't seem happy."

"Why is it, you feel the need to be concerned about what's going on with Kate and me? All these years I haven't seen you really care about what goes on in Kate's or Cat's personal life. I've never heard you once mention any of Kate's past relationships but I have personally known some of the guys she's dated. They hardly know you, so why you all up my ass?"

"Because I know you."

Shawn sighs and knocks on the table with the bottom of his fist twice to get our attention but we still don't break eye contact. Our eyes are locked and tense.

"Like Chris said, I didn't come here for this. I came to hang out with my boys I haven't seen in a while, to have a good time. I'm off duty, I don't want to arrest anyone for a domestic dispute or disorderly conduct. Maybe you two should talk about this some other time when there's no alcoholic beverages involved with a mediator present."

"Shawn's right, this is not the time or the place to talk about this. Both of you need to chill the fuck out."

Eyes still locked on me Jay says, "I'll drop it for now. I just want Nick to know that family means everything to me. I don't want to see anyone in my family hurt whether it be unintentionally or otherwise. Especially when it comes to my sisters. I love them, I want the best for them."

"Who says I'm not the best thing for your sister, who's to say I can't make her happy?"

He's talking about Kate but my mind is on Cat. I don't know if I am the best thing for her and I don't know if I can make her happy. The only thing I know for sure is that she makes me happy. I don't want to lose her.

"I don't know if you can make her happy. I don't think you're the right man for her but let's hope I'm wrong," he says, standing up to leave. "Shawn, Chris, I'll see y'all later. I'm going home. He turns and looks at me. "Nick."

"Jay." After he leaves I tell the guys I'm leaving too. Chris walks out with me to my car.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Kate but something is obviously not right. If it's so obvious that Jay and I can see it, then it's only a matter of time before other people start noticing it too. She may seem tough, like she has all her shit together but she often doesn't. She's good at hiding her feelings. She can come off as a real bitch, that's her defense mechanism. She's going to get to you before you can get to her."

"You too, Chris? You don't trust me either, you sound like Jay."

"I trust you, you know I do. The question is do I trust you with my sister? Not so much. Jay and Shawn said some things that I know to be true."

"Like what?"

"You don't do long-term relationships and the two times you tried it did not end well."

"Have you ever thought the reason why those relationships didn't work out was because I haven't found the right woman yet?"

"No, I never thought of it that way. I'm asking you now, have you found the right woman?"

"I believe I have."

"Is it my sister?"

"Yes, it is." I lean back against my car door. He looks at me and blows out a big breath.

"Man, I don't want anyone to get hurt. Be careful the way you handle this whole thing. You're like a brother to me; we've had each other's backs since grade school. I see the way you are with Cat, you've known her for more than half her life." He folds his hands across his chest and I nod my head waiting for him to say we both know how I feel about Cat.

"I know you care about her a lot. It's harder for me to see what's going on between you and Kate, you two have never really been that close. Then all of a sudden, bam—" he flings his arm out puts the other one on the hood of my car next to me, "—you're engaged. Like I said, if Jay and I can see something's not right, Kate and other people are going to see it too. Don't start something that's going to end badly for everyone."

I look straight ahead and nod my head again. "I hear you." But I can't stop what's already in motion.

"Think before you do something you can't take back."

Too damn late.

I go home thinking about what Chris said. Too bad life doesn't have do-overs or second chances. I can't stop thinking about Cat. I called Ava three times with no answer. I know Cat's not going to answer my calls. She hasn't answered any of them in the past week. I guess I'll wait for Ava to call me back or drive myself crazy wondering where they are and who they're with.

"Nick."

"Cat." My eyes still closed, I roll over on my back with my cell to my ear. "Is that you? What time is it?"

"I have no idea."

"Where the hell are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom I had to pee so bad, who knew drinking could make you want to go to the bathroom so much."

"Hmmm, you're drunk, where's Ava?" I rub my hand over my eyes and sit up.

"She's busting a move on the dance floor with Matt and another hotty." She's slurring every other word. She's gone way over her drinking limit. "OMG…this is the best pee I ever had, it's almost orgasmic, it's sorta feels like sex, maybe I should drink more often if going to the bathroom is going to feel like this."

"Don't drink anything else, I'm coming to get you. If you're talking about orgasmic peeing, then I have no doubt in my mind Ava is smashed the fuck out of her mind."

"O ma God, Nick, this is my motherfucking song." "Thrift Shop," she yells in my ear.

"God." I grit my teeth and grab a pen and paper. "Cat, where the hell are you? Give me the address."

"Whoop! whoop! I'm in the motherfucking Bronx BK for life!"

"You've lost your fucking mind. Address, Cat, address, focus!" She stops singing and yelling long enough to try and give me the address.

"Let me see…oh yeah, this is it."

I write it down and get out of the bed. "All right, don't drink anything else, do you hear me? And for God's sake stay with Ava." I don't know how much help she's going to be but two is better than one.

"No problem."

I hang up and put my jeans on, throwing a hooded sweater over my head. What the hell. I'm going to kill those two, Ava first; in the Bronx drunk out of their minds.

I walk into a packed club, music loud as hell, people are everywhere elbow to elbow. Adam Levine is singing, girls are on poles in nothing but floss between third asses and pasties gyrating and swinging their hips in time to the music, bodies slamming against each other hot and sweaty. The air is stale, drinks are flowing every which way and God knows what else. I make my way through the crowd to find Cat and Ava before they get into more trouble. A well-endowed in all the right places petite blonde stops me, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Where did you come from?" I hold her up with my arm around her waist.

"From outside." She laughs, grazing her nails on the back of my neck. I smile, putting my hands on her arms and trying to pull them off as gently as possible.

"Your eyes are out of this world amazing." She leans her head back to get a better look.

"So I've been told."

"Can I come home with you?"

"Not tonight, you're a couple of weeks too late for that to happen. I'm here to take someone else home." She drops her arms and pats me on the chest.

"Oh, too bad. You don't know what you're missing."

"I can imagine you're able to do things with that body I've never seen before."

"You got that right, oh well, looks like all the sexy ones are taken tonight, maybe next time." She gives me a once-over with her eyes and gives me a big smile. "Bye, sexy."

"Bye." She dances away attaching herself to another guy who seems willing to participate with her. There won't be a next time. I sure as hell won't be coming back here and neither will Cat, she better not even think about it. I make my way to the back of the club where I finally see Cat and Ava dancing on a table with a pole running through the middle. The two of them are swaying their hips to Carlos Santana's "Maria Maria." Ava jumps off the table and leaves Cat, where she and two other guys cheer her on.

She tosses her hair back, takes one hand, grabs on to the top of the pole, puts one bare feet in front of the other, and seductively walks around the pole in a slow circle while they watch. Simultaneously, she takes her other hand, and with her feet hooked around the pole she swings around like a pro before sliding down with her head thrown back and lips slightly parted. Where the hell did she learn to do that shit? She better not be moonlighting as a pole dancer by night. I walk over to the table when she sees me. She screams out my name with a high-pitched squeal from where she's sitting on top of the table legs dangling.