Impossible Things (9 page)

They chatted for a few minutes about what Lucy wanted, a fresh, natural look with rosy cheeks and a soft pink mouth before Sarah led her to a chair at the back of the store. She put a cape around Lucy’s shoulders and asked her questions about her wedding. Soon they were talking about general things, like the weather and TV programs and celebrity gossip which Lucy was completely ignorant of, but it was nice to get out of the house and have another girl to talk to.

“Can I say something?”

Lucy looked at the girl. She had been applying blush and her tone didn’t sound positive but Lucy said, “Sure.”

“I understand what you want but I have to say I don’t think that’s you. With your coloring and your hair you’d be a knockout in red lipstick and some black eyeliner. Nothing serious mind you, just some soft liner and killer lips. With your pale skin, blue eyes and black hair you’d look like a living Snow White!”

Lucy smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I’ve never done red. I just never felt bold enough to wear it.”

Sarah stood back and appraised Lucy. “Who’s doing your hair?”

Surprised Lucy said, “I am. I couldn’t afford anyone.”

Sarah shook her head. “No!
I am
. Let me do the liner and the red lipstick and I’ll do your hair as well. You would look amazing with your hair half-up and some braids at the front. Sort of like a sexy milkmaid.”

Lucy sure as hell didn’t feel much like a sexy milkmaid, and she knew that Sam’s mom wouldn’t approve of red lipstick on her wedding day, which was what made her mind up.

His mom had made too many decisions about Lucy’s big day. It was time for Lucy to take some control back. “Okay you can try but if it looks bad we’ll go with a soft pink or coral okay?”

Sarah smiled. “Trust me it won’t look bad.”

Lucy spent three hours with Sarah as she tried different make-up colors and did Lucy’s hair. Sarah ordered them sandwiches from the deli across the street and insisted on paying for it.

All in all it was a very nice day, and Lucy left the shop smiling. She was walking down the street when her phone rang. She stopped, and reached into her purse to get it. What she came up with was the card with Lucas’ number on it. She had forgotten all about it.

She shoved his card in her pants pocket and answered her phone. It was Sam. He was going to be home late, his boss wanted to take him to meet some people, and he wanted to tell her before he had to go back to work.

When Sam hung up she felt lonely. Lonelier than she had felt at any time before and she stopped on the street to take a deep, calming breath.

As she stood there a woman passed her. The woman was wearing a simple, elegant white coat that Lucy knew had to be expensive and carrying a handbag that she knew cost over ten thousand dollars. The woman was walking with her head held high, designer sunglasses on, and Lucy wanted to be her with an overwhelming passion that made her want to scream.

The woman was so confident, so sophisticated, that all the old longings from when Lucy was a girl came back. She wanted to run after the woman and beg her to teach her what she knew.

Lucy stared after the woman and when she couldn’t see her anymore she pulled Lucas’ card from her jeans pocket and stared at it. With shaking hands she took her phone back out and dialed his number. She figured she’d probably get his voicemail and when she did she would tear up the card, throw it in the nearest trashcan and never think about him again.

He answered. “Hello?”

The sound of his voice was better than she remembered. Her hands started to shake and before he could say anything else she dropped the phone. Luckily for her it hadn’t broken and when she put it back to her ear she heard him say, “Hello?” again.

She quickly pulled the phone away from her ear and hit the end button.

What was she thinking? What was she doing? She wasn’t acting rational at all. She was playing a very dangerous game and losing it meant losing Sam. Was she really willing to do that?

Just as she was asking herself that question her phone rang.

It was Lucas.

She stared at it, unsure of what to do. If she didn’t answer he would get her voicemail so he would know it was her anyway. If she did answer…what did that mean?

Torn, she stared at her phone and it stopped ringing but less than twenty seconds later it rang again. He wasn’t going to give up. She had to answer it. “Hello?”

“Why did you hang up?”

She didn’t say anything and she heard him take a deep breath, “Lucy are you there?”

“Yes. I’m here.”

“Why did you hang up?”

She decided that she was going to be honest. “Because it was a bad idea to call you and I realized that when I heard your voice.”

“Why is it a bad idea?”

“You know why. I’m getting married and I love him.”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few minutes and then when he spoke his voice was thick and rough. “I’m glad you called. I’ve been thinking about you.”

She had to close her eyes at that, at the emotions that his words brought up. There was more than lust there though she didn’t know what else it was.

“Lucy, I’d like to see you again.”

Her breath hitched. “No.”

“No you don’t want to see me? Or no you shouldn’t?”

“No…I can’t. I shouldn’t.”

“Please?”

She wanted to see him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to feel the way he made her feel when she was with him
, which was strong, sexy, and competent, like the woman in white walking down the street.

“Where are you?”

“Oxford Street.
              “Find a cab and I’ll give him my address.”

“I can’t. I don’t have enough money for a cab.”

She heard him sigh again and he said, “I’ll pay for it of course. Get a cab.”

She stepped out to the street and waved one down. When she opened the door she hesitated because she didn’t know what to say. Finally she settled on, “My friend is going to give you the address okay?”

The cabbie nodded and she handed him her phone as she got in. Lucas and the cabbie’s conversation was short, and the cabbie hung up before handing her phone back. She was disappointed and relieved at the same time at not being able to speak to Lucas again. Maybe he was afraid that if they did talk she would change her mind.

She spent the almost twenty minute ride trying to talk herself out of going but knowing that she now had no choice. She couldn’t get out of the car because she had no money to pay for it. Besides, she told herself, she was a grown woman and fully in control of herself. It was possible to see him and not have sex with him.

But even in her own head she didn’t sound too sure of that last part.

The cab passed countless stores as the neighborhood changed and then she realized that they were driving beside Hyde Park,
and then the cab cut through a part of London that she had never seen before. The houses got larger and the cars on the streets posher. It was not her normal neighborhood and it was even richer than her grandmother’s area.

The cab pulled up front of a mansion that made Isabella’s seem small by comparison and the butterfly’s that occupied her stomach began a rampage. The house was tall, white brick, with a black iron fence surrounding it, and as she watched the front door opened and Lucas came out, taking the steps two at a time.

She felt both happy to see him and sick to her stomach at the same time.

He was quickly at her door and he opened it and helped her out without saying a word. She stood staring at him as he paid the cab driver. He was wearing dark jeans that looked as if they had been pressed and a sapphire blue sweater. He looked expensive all the way from his clothes to the thick, silver watch on his wrist down to the black leather shoes on his feet.

When he was done paying, he placed an arm on the small of her back, and guided her towards the house.

She’d known that he had money, he’d had to in order to buy the ring for her, but she had been so wrapped up in the events of the past few days that she hadn’t thought about
it. Now she was forced to.

They passed a sleek red sports car that looked foreign and then they were at the top of the steps. She hesitated and he stopped and smiled at her. “Won’t you come in?”

He gestured with his free hand and with a deep breath she entered.

His house was gorgeous. The floor of the entryway was black and white marble and the walls were a dark, elegant wood. It was luxurious and the very air seemed to
scream wealth. He stopped to shut the front door and she hesitated. He moved towards her causing her to take a quick step back. He smiled at her as he said, “I was just going to help you with your coat.”

Feeling foolish she let him help her off with it and then she felt worse because she realized that she wasn’t dressed to be in a home like his. He grabbed her elbow and led her to what Lucy would have described as a living room, but she thought that he probably
called it the drawing room like her grandmother did. There were two peach sofas and two chairs in a pretty yellow and green fabric. The room looked feminine and it made her feel even more out of place.

She heard a sound and turned to see that there was a television in a cabinet and he was watching a soccer game. That small detail made her feel a little better. He was a normal guy in at least one area. He apologized before turning it off and gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa. She did and was relieved when he didn’t sit next to her but sat on the sofa across from her. It felt better with the coffee table separating them.

“Are you hungry?”

That wasn’t what she had expected him to say and she must have looked perplexed because he said, “Sorry but before you called I was about to get some lunch. I’m starving.”

“Oh… Okay. Sure.”

She was disappointed that they would be going out, because she wanted to see more of his house, to know who he was, but at the same time she was relieved that they
wouldn’t be alone. He stood up and went to the door, asking as he did, “Do you like steak?”

She nodded and he smiled and said. “Good.”

He left the room and she stared after him for a second before turning to look around her at the room. Now that she was able to see the room better she saw that it was a little messy.

His black leather jacket, the one that he had worn the first day that they met, was thrown on the back of a chair, and the coffee table had magazines, books, keys and a tie. She recognized the tie as the one he had been wearing the day before and she smiled. Seeing that he wasn’t perfect made her feel better.

She glanced over at the door, she could hear his voice from far away and she wondered who he was talking to. Being nosey she reached forward and looked at the magazines; they all seemed to be about cars. She heard his footsteps and pulled back just before he came into the room.

“Okay that’s done. It should be here soon.”

“It?”

He smiled. “Lunch. I ordered steaks and jacket potatoes. Trust me you don’t want me to cook. My specialty is ordering take away.”

He suddenly seemed normal, or as normal as a gorgeous man standing in a mansion could seem. He watched football, read car magazines and ordered take-away. He was becoming more human to her and less the fantasy lover that was in her head and she didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing.

He sat down across from her again and they stared at one another. Uncomfortable with the silence she cleared her throat. “You have a beautiful house.”

He nodded and looked around the room. “Thank you. It was my parents.”

“It’s fancy.” That sounded stupid to even to her and she cringed in embarrassment.

He smiled and she felt it in her gut. “It’s too big for just me. I live in only four rooms, which is why this room is such a mess. Sorry.”

He stood up and started to gather up the magazines and books and she reached out and put her hand on his. He looked at it and then up at her as she said, “Stop. I like the mess. It makes you seem human.”

He frowned, let the pile drop back to the table and sat back down in his chair. His face looked confused. “I am human.”

She nodded, again embarrassed, something she was becoming used to feeling in his presence. He moved and she looked up to watch as he sat back in his chair and said, “Tell me about Sam.”

Wow. Start with something easy why didn’t he? She reached up, brushed her bangs back, and then clasped her hands in front of herself. “I love Sam.”

She looked up to see his reaction but his face was expressionless.

Feeling the need to make sure he understood she said it again. “I love him.”

Their eyes met and she felt that she needed to say more. To explain herself to this stranger that she had been intimate with, whom she had allowed to touch her. “We met the first week of college and we’ve been together ever since. He’s a good man.”

She coughed and abruptly he stood. “Sorry. Let me get you a drink.”

She waited, still staring at her hands as he left the room. He was gone a few minutes and when he came back he had a crystal tumbler with ice in it and a bottle of water. He sat it on the table in front of her and she thanked him.