In Her Mind (Mountain High Valley Low ) (9 page)

When I reached my condo, Daddy was leaning against the door of his Mercedes S 600 with his arms crossed. At first I wondered how he knew I was there. Then I flinched at the thought of how I looked, being that I had just been in a fight with two people. Daddy’s strong, large frame took hastened steps toward me. Concern marked his face and I could tell as he examined my messy hair, bruised cheeks, and wrinkled clothes, that he was at a loss for words.

“Pudding! What happened? Who did this to you?” he asked as he held me at arms length to inspect me closely. Confusion, anger, and hurt all flashed in his eyes one by one. “Don’t tell me Brandon put his hands on you!”

I dropped my head. I didn’t want Brandon to get in trouble but I couldn’t tell Daddy that Brian was involved. Daddy would never accept Brian if I disclosed that bit of information. It would forever cause problems once Brian and I were finally back together.

Daddy shook me slightly because I still hadn’t answered. I no longer wanted Brandon anyway, so why did I care about him having issues with my father?

“Shelly!” Daddy yelled my name. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d called me Shelly.
I was still contemplating my story. I had to get this one right.
“Shelly, answer me! Who did this to you? Tell me now!” Daddy demanded.
“I can’t, Daddy,” I said, and tears flowed quietly down my cheeks. The truth hurt and I couldn’t get my lips to push the words out. Brian let that woman put her hands on me. How dare he allow that? I was the mother of his child, not her.
“Can we go inside, Daddy? I’ll explain everything to you then,” I said.
“Sure, baby. Come on,” Daddy agreed as he walked me inside under the security of his reassuring embrace.
Once we entered the house, my father went straight into daddy mode. He ordered me to go to the bathroom and clean myself up while he put on some tea. By the time I emerged from my bedroom freshly dressed, Daddy had a platter sitting on the coffee table with our favorite tea biscuits, my bamboo-decorated teapot, two matching cups, and an array of herbal teas to choose from.
I averted my eyes from his gaze so he wouldn’t see the truth. I knew the questions would come hard and fast. My father wasn’t one to waste time.
“Come sit down,” he ordered with both love and urgency as he patted the space next to him on the sofa.
Slowly, I walked toward him with my eyes cast downward. I sat next to my father and settled into the crook of his armpit with my feet curled beside me. He had always been my strong tower, my safe haven.
“Now tell me what the hell happened to you today!” His big voice boomed with assertion.
I shifted under his arm, making myself more comfortable as I mentally prepared what I was about to say. I could feel my father’s impatience in his breathing as his large chest rose and fell.
“Did Brandon do this, Shelly?” He was calling me Shelly again. “Talk to me now. I’m not leaving until you tell me something. Whoever did this to you will pay! Did Brandon do this to you? I told him earlier to give this thing some time,” he said, moving me from his side, forcing me to face him.
“You saw him today?!” I sat straight up. “When did you see him?” I asked, recalculating my story as I spoke.
“Yes. He came to me because he wanted to talk about what you two were going through. He wants you to come back home with the baby, but you told him you’d gotten back with Brice’s real father. What’s this all about, Shelly? I didn’t even know you’d left Long Island until I spoke to him earlier. Why didn’t you tell me? I came here to talk to you about all of this and when I get here you look like you’ve been attacked.”
I was on my feet pacing in circles on the plush pink carpet. That stupid Brandon went running to my father about our problems. Daddy was the last person I wanted to tell. Everything needed to be in place before I clued him in to what was going on.
My father stood, his imposing frame hovering over me, stopping me in my tracks. He crossed his strong arms before his chest and glared at me with his piercing black eyes. His taut jaw line moved from side to side as it always did when he was losing his patience with someone. His dark chocolate complexion seemed to radiate as irritation percolated just beneath his skin. My story began just before he exploded.
“Daddy, he didn’t mean it. I know he didn’t,” I said with pleading eyes, conjuring up a few convincing tears. “He was so upset because I said awful things to him. I just wanted him to leave because I don’t want to go back. I don’t want him anymore. I pushed him to make him mad, thinking he would just go. I kept pushing him until he finally grabbed me to stop me and I just lost it. I don’t even know what happened next. He didn’t mean to hurt me. I’m sure he didn’t mean to do it. I pushed him.” I spilled all of that made-up information out in a manner worthy of an Oscar.
My father’s strong jaw began to twitch and his black eyes narrowed to tight slits. His crossed arms dropped to his sides for a moment, then he crossed them once more. He began rubbing his chin as if contemplating his next move.
“Daddy, please!” I begged, almost sorry for putting Brandon in harm’s way. But I had been left with no choice. I couldn’t possibly have implicated Brian. “Don’t do anything, Daddy! It was my fault! Please just leave Brandon alone! Do it for me, Daddy, please?”
My father set his gaze on me with those narrowed eyes, turned and walked toward the door. His footsteps, softened only by the plush carpet, still generated a solid thud with each step.
“I’ll be back!” Daddy said as he stomped through the door.
I could only pray that he didn’t run into Brandon any time soon. All I needed was a little time to work things out with Brian. Then I could fix everything.

“Leave the baby here, go back home, and straighten things out with your Fiancée,” my mother said. “I’ll keep an eye on my grandson. Being alone in the house at a time like this will only remind Lexie about all the mess you done brought to her door.”

“Mom! I didn’t bring this mess to her door—our door!” I restated.
“Brian, you don’t realize that that’s how Lexie is looking at the situation right now? That girl Shelly should have never even felt like she could show up like that. She knows what she’s trying to do, and you men are not smart enough to see through the bullshit. Shelly is trying to break up your home so she can move back into your life, and she’s using Brice to do it. Can’t you see that?”
“Well, yeah.”
“No, son, you don’t really see it. That girl figures if she pushes hard enough, Lexie will get tired and walk away. And from the sound of what happened this evening, Lexie seems pretty damn close to doing just that. You need to fix this now if you still plan on marrying that girl in three weeks. Besides, I already bought my dress and it cost me a pretty penny. Come three weeks, I’m wearing that dress, and I can only hope it’ll be to your wedding. Now go!” my mother said as she picked up Brice and shooed me away.
“Ma!”
“Go handle your business, Brian. The two of you have come too far for this. You’ve got your work cut out for you, so don’t go over there getting an attitude if she doesn’t budge right away just because you apologized. You need to convince her that you love her, that you want to marry her, and that she won’t have to keep dealing with drama from Shelly. Shelly is your past mistake, not hers. And you need to put Shelly in her rightful place or you will always have problems with her. I know. I didn’t get to be this age without gaining some wisdom and going through a few things myself. Now go! I don’t want to hear another word. Just go!” she said and turned her attention to Brice. “Come on, baby, let’s get us a snack. You’ll see Daddy tomorrow.”
I stood outside of my mother’s door and tried to think of what I would say to Lexie. She asked me to leave with such finality it scared me. By the time I’d left our house, she had no more tears. For the first time, I felt like things were really over between us. I knew I couldn’t let her go, but I had no idea how to get her back.
After driving around aimlessly for about an hour, I pulled up to my old apartment. Lights were shining through the living room window so I knew my old buddy Lori was home. I wasn’t ready to face Lexie again because I didn’t know what to say to her. I loved her but I wasn’t about to grovel. My male pride just wouldn’t let me do it. I’d called Jeff but didn’t get an answer, and when I drove by his house, it didn’t look like anyone was home. I had dialed Lori’s cell phone to see if it was okay for me to drop by. I really didn’t want to go there, but I had no place else to go. I got her voice mail and hung up, not wanting to leave a message. My mother wasn’t about to let me back into her house because she wanted me to handle my business like a man. Never would she let me use her as a crutch. Since my boy Jeff was nowhere to be found, Lori and my old apartment were my last resort.
When I got upstairs, I had to ring the bell three times before Lori answered the door. When I walked in a sweet fragrance filled my senses. Lori was sporting one of those sports bras and her snug workout shorts clung to her protruding behind, which closely resembled a camel’s hump. Lori was thick but fit, and all of her curves were in the right places. A little voice inside my head told me to leave. Then another voice said it’s only Lori; she’s your friend. Just like one of the boys. Then the first voice told the second voice, Yeah, she’s a friend that you used to sleep with. I opted to listen to the second voice and ignore the first one.
“Hey, B, what’s up?” Lori said breathlessly, as if she had just run a marathon. “I just finished working out. Got to keep the body tight, you know. Find me a man so I can get married like you one day. What brings you by?” she asked as she left me in the doorway. Her firm body was taunting me as she walked away, motioning for me to enter. Her saunter made me remember the things she could accomplish in bed.
The first voice tapped me in the ear and said, “It’s time to go.” I brushed it off once again and headed for the couch.
“Just chilling. I got a lot on my mind, that’s all. I needed a change of scenery. How’s the apartment coming along? You like it?” I asked, trying to take the focus off of me.
“It’s good. I like it here much better than my old place in Bed-Stuy. When you think about selling this place, let me know. I might buy it from you.” Lori snapped her fingers like she’d remembered something and detoured from the kitchen toward the bedroom. “You got a lot of mail here. I figured you’d come by soon enough to pick it up. I’ll be right out with it.”
When Lori disappeared into the bedroom, I scanned the apartment. Lori hadn’t changed at all, which is probably one of the reasons why she still wasn’t married. Men didn’t want to make wives out of home girls they knew too much about. Although Lori was a good-looking girl, she acted much like the average dude. She kept the place clean, but not tidy. The atmosphere and décor lacked the female touch. I was sure that many of her weekends consisted of the guys hanging out here, drinking beer, watching the game, and occasionally indulging in a little weed. Most of the guys had a friend that Lori had slept with a time or two. She didn’t carry herself in a whorish manner, but I knew she’d had quite a few partners. Casual sex with no strings attached didn’t seem to bother her one bit. I had always assumed that she was as afraid of commitment as some men, but now I realize that it’s hard for men to consider a woman like her for any kind of long-term relationship.
Evidence of the occasional weed smoking became apparent when I spied the remnants of a blunt in an ashtray on the floor next to the couch. One thing was for sure, Lori certainly wasn’t wife material for me.
“Here you go,” she said, interrupting my assessment of her lifestyle. “It’s all here.” She plopped down on the couch next to me. “You want a beer?” She handed one to me before I could respond.
“Sure, why not. What have you been up to?” I asked.
“Not as much as you have, planning a wedding and all. By the way, how’s Lexie doing?” Lori asked just before taking a long swig of beer from her own bottle.
“She’s cool,” I said a little too wryly.
Lori threw me a quick but inquisitive gaze then took another swig. I was hoping she wouldn’t ask any more questions. It was obvious that she sensed something in my dry response.
“That was enthusiastic!” she mocked. “Everything alright?”
“Oh, yeah! We’re fine!” I said with lots more enthusiasm. My sudden energy was blatantly unconvincing.
Lori looked at me like she wanted to say ”stop lying.” I finished off my beer and asked if I could get another. I didn’t want to go into details with Lori and just wanted to get away, if just for a moment.
“Hey, B, you didn’t want to invite me to the wedding?”
Damn! Why did I choose to come here? “What makes you think that?” I asked.
“Well you told me about it but you didn’t invite me. Does Lexie have an issue with me? I mean, you are my friend, and she and I got along pretty cool the few times we were around each other. I just figured that since we were so cool, I would have been invited. I mean, if I can live in your house, what’s wrong with me coming to your wedding?”
“It’s not a…well, I didn’t think…I don’t know. I figured that since we’d slept together, it wasn’t appropriate for you to come to my wedding.”
“But, Brian, you know how we do. Did you tell Lexie that we’d slept together before? I assumed that she only knew about our friendship.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” I gave in because I didn’t want to take the conversation any further. “It’s my fault. Inviting you wouldn’t be like inviting Shelly. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to Lex today about putting you on the list.”
“Okay, cool! I have the perfect dress. I just bought it a week ago. Well, where is it going to be? Since I never received an invitation, and at this rate I probably won’t get one,” she said as she playfully slapped my arm.
“Come on, now, I’m a dude. I don’t retain that kind of information. Some church here in Brooklyn.”
“Which church, fool? There are a lot of churches here in Brooklyn,” Lori said, shaking her head and laughing. “You don’t know where your own wedding is going to be? You should be ashamed of yourself. I’ll just ask Lexie myself.”
“Nah, I was just joking,” I said very quickly, then gave her the information.
“Are you going to stick around for a while? I’m about to throw in a movie.” She lifted her ample bottom off of the couch and starting scanning the DVDs she had scattered in a storage bin near the TV.
“Sure,” I said, getting comfortable. “Let me get another beer first.”
“Go ahead. I know you don’t think I’m going to get it for you,” she said, still scanning the bin. “And bring the chips out of the cabinet over the fridge while you’re in there,” she said over her shoulder.
Reluctantly, I removed myself from the comfort of the couch, dragged myself into the kitchen, and found the beer, chips, and a few more snacks. When I returned, Lori was back on the couch with her feet up.