In Her Mothers' Shoes (54 page)

Then Rick says, ‘She’s a writer like me too. And now my sister Jessie has the sister she always wanted instead of a bossy brother like me.’

I hug him.

‘Not that Felicity isn’t bossy at times,’ he says punching me on the arm and grinning. ‘She’s one of us now.’ He looks at me, still grinning. ‘You are, you know – you fit right in with our lot. You have from the moment we met.’

Kate sat back in her chair and ran that round in her head a few times. It sounded good. Penny had said something like that too.

~   ~   ~

I’m sitting in the Addington Coffee Company waiting for a friend to arrive. This place has become the city’s business hub since the earthquakes. Some days, like today, you’re lucky to find a seat let alone a table to yourself. I’ve taken a table outside, trading off the chill easterly against the early summer sunshine.

My mobile rings.

‘Is that Felicity Price?’

‘Yes.’ 

‘This is Peter Williams.’

Suddenly my heart shoots up into my throat and starts banging against my chin. That name. It’s him!

‘Oh.’

‘I was delighted to get your letter.’ Everything stands still. The coffee stops swirling in its cup, the crowded café goes quiet. ‘You sound a lovely person and I would like to think I could be your father, but I’m afraid I was born just ten years before you were, so I’m sorry it can’t be me.’

My heart starts beating again. The coffee swirls. The noise in the café is intense.

I collect myself back together, tell him I’m sorry too and thank him for calling.

‘Good luck with your search,’ and he’s gone.

Author’s Note

My most heartfelt thanks to members of my two families – my husband and children, both of my mothers, my new brothers and sister and their families, my aunt and cousins and other members of my new extended family – who have both allowed and supported me in my quest to tell this story, no matter how painful or difficult it has been to revive memories that have lain buried for many, many years.

Adoption was my birth mother’s only option at the time and there is no doubt that her choice, while bringing her years of regret, gave me a very privileged life. Adoption has a lot going for it.

But under the old adoption law, the decree for absolute secrecy undeniably caused both of my mothers and me – and everyone involved in the closed adoption triangle – an inexcusable amount of grief. Its amendment in 1986 to allow adoption records to be opened has at last brought these dark family secrets into the light - with varying degrees of resolution.

I would also like to thank my IIML tutor Damien Wilkins and all my classmates, without whom this book would not have been possible.