In His Cuffs (22 page)

From the corner of her eye, she saw Barb walk by.

“I’ve been lonely, Mr Tomlinson.” And the nightmares were a constant companion. “I’d like a second chance. I’m not sure I will ever be a perfect submissive. But I do know the time with you makes me want to try.”

“Your behaviour would have to be punished.” He leant back in his chair, studying her.

Oh God. Panic made her freeze. “Sir?”

“We discussed punitive spankings, Maggie. As I recall, you said you would not like to receive one. I promise, you would hate it.”

She shuddered.

“I’ve taken some time to consider the situation from your point of view and understand why you would betray my confidence in that way.”

Betray.
Another harsh word.

He’d said he’d taken time to think about her motivations. Now she also saw things from his vantage. He’d been relentless in his honesty throughout and she understood how she’d hurt him. The knowledge made her heart ache.

“We could be good together, Maggie, on a personal as well as professional level. The decision as to whether we will be or not has always been in your hands. It still is.”

“But I’d have to submit to your punishment.”

“It’s for you, as much as for me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You said you didn’t know how to make it up. You can, anytime you want, by submitting to my cane.”

“Jesus.” Her heart slammed to a stop as fear collided with nerves.

“Five strokes. In my office. Your behaviour happened here, it will be punished here.”

She couldn’t string two coherent thoughts together, and speech became impossible. He gave her time to process what he’d said. “You… Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

His lips were set in a firm line. His eyebrows were relaxed, his shoulders loose. He was calm about this. And, she was certain, not negotiable. “I need to think.”

“Of course.”

* * * *

She spent the next day doing nothing but that. On Sunday, she went over to Vanessa’s house.

Vanessa blended up an extra-large batch of margaritas and poured each of them a glass before they went outside to sit on the deck. Even that reminded her of being with David. “Bring Mama V up to date.”

“Mama V?”

“One of the twins calls me that.”

“Shit. They’re twins?”

“Fraternal.”

“And you’re the Domme now?”

“Not always. But it turns out I look pretty good in boots and holding a whip.”

“I bet you do.” Maggie took a drink.

“Let me know if you’d like me to practise on you. I can show you a few tricks to get your man to lick your boots.”

Maggie choked on a piece of ice. Vanessa laughed and slapped her on the back.

“Now get serious,” Vanessa said. “And give me the ugly details.”

Maggie brought her friend up to date, leaving nothing out. “And he wants me to call him Master.”

“What the hell did you expect? Unlike my boys, your man’s a Dom. It’s not just a term of respect, it’s an acknowledgement of the power exchange. And you get to decide whether you want to have that kind of relationship or flip him the bird. You get that, right? He didn’t fire your ass, and you can continue your work relationship on professional terms. What the man asked you is if you wanted to be his sub. Do you?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“No relationship is, especially with someone as demanding as he is. Nothing comes with guarantees, you know that. Is it better to go for it or live with the regret?”

Maggie thought about her father’s premature death. Would her mother have been better off if she’d never met him, sparing her the grief of loss?

“I’d trade in the twins for a chance like you’ve got,” Vanessa said.

“Seriously?”

Vanessa drained her margarita in a single, big gulp. “Well, I’d consider it, at least. My advice? Call him what he wants and take your punishment like a big girl.” She put down her empty glass. “I’ll be back with the pitcher.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about a dozen different things, and by the time Maggie arrived back home, she felt settled in a way she hadn’t before. She thought about sending him a text message then opted to wait.

That night, she had her usual, middle-of-the-night glass of water on the patio.

She looked at the cloudless sky and realised all the nightmares had one thing in common—they were trying to force her to look deep inside herself, to see what she feared then face it.

Alone, she did.

Yes, he might be dominating and overbearing, demanding more from her than she’d ever given. But he also gave more than she’d ever received—comfort, belief, trust. Next to him, all other relationships became insignificant. What he was offering was something real and authentic. There’d be no hiding, no other men, no lies or half-truths. She’d be physically exposed and emotionally vulnerable.

Was she brave enough to meet his demands?

At the office, he continued to be cool and polite. He didn’t bring up their personal relationship. He seemed energetic and as focused as always, and that annoyed her. She envied his calm, wanting him to be as torn up inside as she was.

Over the next couple of days, she ran through the gamut of emotions before facing the truth. Somewhere along the line, she’d fallen in love with him. She admired his business acumen, but most of all she liked the way he was relentless in insisting she give everything she had to offer. She respected his inflexibility, his honesty, the way he cared for her when they were together. He made her feel safe and kept nightmares at bay.

Last week he’d said he missed her, taking the first step in repairing the damage she’d caused. She missed him and wanted to be with him, even if it meant she had to accept a caning as well as his terms.

On all levels, she was terrified.

During her lunch hour, she sent him a message asking if she could have a moment of his time late this afternoon.

He responded that he would see her at six o’clock.

Because she was dreading their meeting and had no idea what she was going to say or how she was going to approach him, the hours passed like minutes. By four-thirty, many of the employees had left. By five, she and David were the only two people in the building.

She tried to compose a letter, but couldn’t put the words in the right order. A couple of minutes before their appointment, her cell phone alarm rang. As if there had been any possibility she wouldn’t notice the time.

Maggie double-checked that the front door was secure and all office lights and equipment were turned off. At the top of the hour, she paused outside his door to drink in several breaths. Her body felt oxygen deprived, making her lightheaded. Then she knocked.

“Come in.”

She closed the door behind her but stood there, waiting for his instructions, still unsure how to act. Bend over the desk? Lift her skirt? Remove it?

“Have a seat, Maggie.” When she perched on the edge of the chair, he asked, “You wanted to see me?”

Of course he wasn’t going to make this easy. Then again, he hadn’t been privy to her thoughts and had no idea what she was going to say. “I came to ask if you’ll forgive my behaviour.”

He braced his elbows on the arms of his chair and linked his fingers together, appearing at ease.

“I’ve been thinking about our last conversation…” She was stumbling around and she hated it. After brushing her hair back from her face, she met his gaze. “What I mean is, damn it, Mr Tomlinson, I want to be with you. I accept your punishment and hope I can earn your forgiveness.”

“You’re certain you know what you’re offering?”

“To get my butt blistered,” she said wryly. “Mr Tomlinson.”

“And after that?”

“To be in a relationship with you”—she looked down, then back up—“as your submissive.”

He nodded, not betraying his inner thoughts. Damn, he was not the man she’d spent a weekend with. At his house, although he’d set the rules, he’d been gentler, encouraging, even teasing. “To be clear, my punishment is meant to reinforce the behaviour I expect from you. It’s not because I am angry, it’s because you were willingly and wilfully disobedient.”

“Yes, Mr Tomlinson.”

“I know we discussed the fact that I would use separation as a way to punish you, but that doesn’t seem appropriate atonement in this case.”

“I’ve already been separated, and it hurt,” she admitted.

“Hurt us both,” he said.

“I agree, Sir, that I still need to make amends.” Her stomach plummeted with her words.

“I would normally administer ten stripes, but for two reasons, I decided on five. First of all, you’ve never been punished by me. And secondly, you were frank when I asked if you’d had any intention of telling me about the Hoskins deal.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“I have no expectations that you will properly comport yourself. You can take as long as you want between stripes, and I will wait for you to get back into position before administering the next one. Your safe word stops it, and you go home alone. You can use ‘eclipse’ as many times as you need to. I have all night.”

The temperature in the room was frigid, chilled by the coldness in his eyes. She ached to have him look at her with tenderness again. “I understand, Mr Tomlinson.”

He stood and shrugged out of his suit jacket. She watched, fascinated, as he draped it over the back of his chair. He unfastened his cufflinks and dropped them. A sense of foreboding descended over her as they clinked together then thudded onto the gleaming desktop. She didn’t blink as he rolled back his sleeves, exposing his forearms.

“I have a cane in my coat closet. Please fetch it.”

His tone, his actions, his command, made the world slow down. He’d inexorably placed her in a submissive frame of mind where nothing existed but the two of them, and pleasing him. At its base, it was that simple. And Mr Tomlinson didn’t demand more than he first offered.

Her knees wobbled as she rose to get the long, thin rattan.

He extended his hand and she cast her gaze at the floor as she offered it to him.

“Clear off my desk,” he instructed. “You can put the items on the credenza, and close the blinds while you’re there.”

She did as he instructed, moving aside the stress balls she was tempted to squeeze, then turned to see him test the cane in the air. Its sound rent the air and chilled her. No way could she endure five cuts from that horrible thing.

“Plenty of subs have managed through history,” he told her as if reading her mind. He placed the cane on the desk then closed and locked his office door.

“Strip.”

The order surprised her. She’d expected to lift, even remove, her skirt, but hadn’t anticipated he’d want her naked.

Her hands trembled as she removed her clothing, and she half-expected he’d help her undress. Instead, he watched her with a predatory gleam.

She left her clothing in a pile on the credenza while he moved aside the visitor chairs.

“On the desk,” he told her.

Being bent over it would enable her to take it easier, and no doubt he’d reached the same conclusion.

He didn’t offer her a hand, making it clear it was her choice at every point.

Once she was in position, vulnerable, she trembled. His tone of voice was so very distant, and she felt lost and alone.

“Ask me to punish you.”

She looked back at him. The starkness on his face stunned her. His eyebrows were set in a narrow, resolved line. His chin jutted—there appeared to be no joy in this for him. And that pleased her. When he’d beaten her before, he’d appeared determined, but it had been softened by his intent to please and satisfy her.

Maggie took comfort from his features. It was as if they were in this together. Neither of them wanted this, but they both understood it was necessary. “I promise to be more honest with you in future, Sir. Please, Master David, punish me.”

Their gazes met.

“Christ, Maggie. Do you know what you said?”

“I acknowledged you as my Master, Mr Tomlinson.”

“I’m honoured,” he told her. “Thank you for that. But it won’t make this easier on you.”

“I suspected as much, Master.” She grabbed hold of the far end of the desk. But that didn’t help. The first stripe landed on her buttocks, ricocheting through her body, making her scream and lose her grip.
Fuck.
She’d never felt anything like that before. Tears filled her eyes.

She had no idea how long it took her to get back in position, but there was no doubt of the effectiveness of his cane.

Master Tomlinson struck her again, and agony tore her from the inside out.

She fought and struggled to right herself, telling herself over and over that she was almost halfway through.

He didn’t speak to her as he placed the third below her buttocks.

She fell forward, sobbing. She curled up into herself, knowing this was the first time she’d cried. He’d told her he’d have her in tears, and Master Damien had warned her as well. They’d all assumed it would be because of the beating. But it wasn’t. She was shattered by the emotional wedge that had been between them, devastated by his distance even now. She’d never liked to be pampered and cuddled, and now she needed it, needed
him
.

He picked her up from the desk, carried her to a chair and held her while she sobbed. She felt as if she’d kept herself in a shell her whole life, refusing to experience everything it had to offer. And if she wanted to be with David, he wouldn’t allow her that luxury.

David stroked her hair and soothed her.

She appreciated the fact he cared about her enough to demand she meet him where he was, holding nothing back. She settled against him. This was the first time he’d touched her since he’d confronted her about her transgression. She never wanted to go this long without his tenderness again.

Minutes dragged and shadows lengthened before she pulled back and said, “Can we get it over with?”

“You can continue another day.”

“Please, no.” He’d never let her shirk her duties, and having the remainder of the punishment looming in front of her would consume her thoughts. “I’m ready.”