In Name Only (13 page)

His dark paneled
bedroom, the maple bed, dresser and corner gun cabinet contributed to the
sullen mood.

David downed his
glass of brandy, then opened Selly’s letter and began reading.  When he saw his
name, he exhaled slowly.

“And please
don’t go on about Mr. David.  I don’t know why he said what he did to me,
accusing me of being with someone else, but despite that, my heart still aches
for him.  I can’t help it, but after everything that’s happened, I still love
him with all my heart.  And isn’t that the way love ought to be?  Loving
someone when he is unkind to you is what it means to truly love him
.

He could almost
hear her young voice as he read the words. Nostalgically, he remembered the
first time he met Selly at the Martin house.  At first, he had been overwhelmed
with her natural beauty and obvious innocence. It didn’t take long to charm his
way into her heart and bed.  After a while, however, she wasn’t all that
enticing anymore.  For David, bedding a girl for the first few months, the
awkwardness, his own expertise in allowing her to feel pleasure for the first
time,  made for the most entertaining and indulgent experiences.

“Mr. David, I
must speak with you about an urgent matter.”

“What is it,
Selly?  I’m leaving.”

“I’m missing
my monthly and I think I may be. . .with child.”

“With child? 
Certainly not mine.”

“Mr. David, I
haven’t been with anyone but you.”

“How am I
supposed to be sure that it was me who. . .”

“I love you,
Mr. David.”

He was certain that
he was the only one, yet he began to think perhaps Selly had strayed from him
and that’s why she was pregnant.  It was a ludicrous thought, to be sure, but
he was careful, oftentimes withdrawing at the last moment.  That was not very
satisfying; in fact, it was frustrating.  It was natural to think that she had
perhaps been with someone else, wasn’t it?

Why did he feel
responsible? He did what he could to protect her, didn’t he?  He dismissed the
guilt and immediately, he felt an overwhelming need for sexual release again. 
As usual, the most convenient choice would be Hallie.  A longtime servant of
the O’Donovan house, Hallie knew that she was never his first choice since she
was older, but at this point David had no other alternative.  There was a chance
that she might refuse tonight, at least at first, since Jane, the household’s
servant in charge, had begun sharing an attic bedroom with her.

*  *  *

Afterwards,
Hallie slept beside him, her caramel-colored arm draped across his chest. Strangely
enough, he felt neither content nor drowsy. His need for pleasure, although it
had just been fed, hungered for more.  It never seemed to be satisfied.

“David, get
up.  Today, you’re 16.  Time to become a man.”

“Where are we
going?”

“You’ll see. Just
get dressed and come with me
.”

In the
carriage, David’s father said little of their destination, just that this was
Jack’s surprise gift and that now David would be a “man.”

They arrived
in the center of Philadelphia on a street in which few, if any, people strolled
about.

“Who are we
visiting?” David asked, still unsure of what would happen.

“Pretty girls,
son, pretty girls.”

When they got
out of the buggy, David’s mouth opened at the wonder of the City late at
night.  The moonlight was bright and the lampposts trembled with the gas
lights.  He could see the majestic Cathedral’s dome off to the left and the
moon illuminating the church’s gold cross at the top.  A few carriages and a
wagon were hurrying in the night, the horses’ clopping sound seeming out of
place with the otherwise quiet evening.

“Come with
me.”  David followed his father as they walked down a long alleyway and up
several marble steps. David, now nearly as tall, noticed that his father wore a
wide grin and had his eyes focused on the grand entrance of the house just
ahead.

“Ring the door
bell,” his father said.

David turned
the bell just below the draped window.  The door swung open immediately.  In
front of him stood a young woman, probably five years or so older, with a red
satin gown, her breasts pushed up and spilling over the top of it.  She had
blonde hair and a face of red cheeks and lips.  Although she was somewhat
shorter than David, she  seemed larger than life.  David stepped back.

“Well, hello,
Sweetie. Your Father told us you were coming.  I’m the lucky one who gets you
tonight.”

“Gets me?”
David asked, then he glanced at Jack.  His father winked at him.

She pulled him
inside the lavishly decorated foyer.  Just behind the girl was a grand
staircase similar to the one at home.

“Come with
me.” He glanced at his father whose smirk seemed permanently fixed to his
face.  Jack handed some coins to another garishly dressed woman and, although
he couldn’t hear much of what was said, David got the impression that his
father knew her and was bantering with her.

Once inside
the girl’s room, David stared in awe at the mirrors on the ceiling, then his
eyes became fixed on the ornately designed four poster bed.  He could sense the
girl behind him but was almost afraid to turn around.  Within seconds, he could
hear her clothes rustling.  He felt her hands on his shoulders lifting his coat
off. Now, he was trembling so much that when he tried to help her remove his
coat, he accidentally scratched her arm.  He fumbled his way through the rest
of the experience which seemed over before it had really begun.  The physical
pleasure had been so intense that he knew, hoped, that he would return.  As he
was lying beside the girl, he wondered whether they might be able to do it
again or did his father only pay for one time?

Where was
Jack?  David imagined that he was indulging in the same pleasures
.

Those women
taught David many lessons.  For one, he learned that he’s more likely to pick
up maladies from them. So he began to coax local servant girls to fill his
needs on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Not only was it safer, it was cheaper.

Despite that
experience, those “ladies of pleasure” had taught him what a girl likes.
Knowledge of that sort came in handy when you wanted to bed her more than once.

Liam often said,
“You’re just like Father.”  As much as David had denied it, he was living his
father’s life.

He thought again
of Selly, her stomach just beginning to swell with his child, and who was now
dead. She was a sweet girl who loved him.  He didn’t protect her at all.  Miss
Martin was right.  He killed her, and her innocence, as sure as he put a gun to
her head.

David could feel
Hallie’s even breathing and her soft hair as she lay her head against his
chest.  Was this the sort of life he wanted to lead?  Did he want to end up
like his father with prostitutes who stood in line to have him as a customer?
Did he want to end his life in a drunken stupor?

He kissed the top
of Hallie’s head and inhaled her sweet scented hair.  She roused. “Mr. David,
you know how to make a girl tired.”  She stroked his face, then his chest. He
immediately felt his attraction rise again.  He shouldn’t give in to the urge
and yet he had to possess her, one more time tonight, to make him forget that
Selly was dead and that he couldn’t stop himself or the life he seemed destined
to lead.

Chapter 11

The next morning,
Caroline cried softly into her pillow.  She couldn’t fall asleep last night
thinking of Selly and her baby
.  She was so frightened
.  And there was
so much blood. 
All of that because she had given herself to David
. 
It’s so unfair.

“Miss Caroline,
y’in there?”

Caroline opened
the door. “Yes, Patsie, what is it?”

“Ye be all right,
Miss?”

“I suppose I will
be.  I still can’t believe Selly is dead.”

“Sure an’ that be
sad,” the servant said, lowering her head.

“What did you
want, Patsie?”

“Mr. Liam’s here
fer ye then.”

“He is?”

“Yes, he’s in the
office with Himself.  Sure an’ I think. . .”

“What, Patsie?”

“. . .he’ll be
askin’ fer yer hand in marriage.”

Caroline gasped. 
“My hand in marriage?”

“Well, Miss
Caroline.  Sure an’ the way he looks at ye, I’m thinkin’ them eyes o’his,
surely they be in love.”

“Really, Patsie? 
If he’s so in love, why didn’t he take me to be with Selly?”

“Why sure, ‘cause
he’s a proper, respectin’ gent, Miss Caroline.  I was just hearin’ him say
some’n about marriage.  Come ahead downstairs and be hearin’ fer yerself.”

“I don’t know
about that.”

“Sure now. Come
along then.”  Patsie took Caroline by the arm and they started down the
hallway.  The servant continued speaking.

“Ye know, Miss,
every one of us, we be knowin’ that look. Why sure, Mr. David now, he don’t
ever have that look, not like Mr. Liam does fer ye.  Sure an’ Mr. Liam’s the
good one o’ that family and he be after wearin’ his heart on his sleeve, that
one does.” Patsie leaned in close to Caroline’s ear and whispered.  “Sure ye
know then, that a proper respectin’ man would niver have taken ye ta Chelten’m
‘lone.”

If Caroline were
to be honest with herself, she was in no mood for marriage talk.  However, she
followed Patsie to the door to Uncle’s study. Caroline could hear muffled
voices inside.

“What’re ye be
tellin’ ‘im, Miss?”

“I don’t know,
Patsie.”

“Now, now, Miss
Caroline, ye be deservin’ some happiness fer yerself then, after losing  yer Da
and all.Sure an’ he’s a foin young man, an who’ll be after makin’ ye very, very
happy.”  Patsie hesitated.  “If ye be puttin’ yer ear close to the door, ye be
hearin’ everythin’ jest foin.”

“I don’t know,
Patsie.”

“Go on, Miss
Caroline. Sure an’ ye jest lean in a wee bit and rest yer ear ta the door.”

Caroline
hesitated and the door suddenly opened and Caroline gasped, then stepped back,
an obvious flush coming to her face.

“My dear, have
you been listening to our discussion?”

Her mouth open,
Caroline glanced at Liam and he was chuckling under his breath.  As she
searched his face for some help, he winked at her and replied, “I’m certain
that Caroline would not be listening in on our conversation, Mr. Martin.”  He
was grinning.

“Liam would like
to discuss something with you, my dear.”

“Caroline, would
you be so kind as to accompany me on a stroll outside?  It is, after all, a
beautiful day.”  He offered her his arm.

“Of course.”

Caroline took
hold of Liam’s arm. His pace was brisk .  “Just one moment, Liam.  You’re
walking too fast.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are.”

He slowed down as
they strolled to the group of maples in front of the Martin mansion. Liam
studied Caroline’s face. “Caroline, have you been crying?”

Caroline nodded
and her tone became somber. “You know that servant girl, Selly, the one who was
at the convent in Cheltenham?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we
received word that she passed away.”

Liam’s eyes
widened and his head lowered.  “I’m sorry.”

“That’s why I was
crying.”

“Well, I’m sorry
I couldn’t take you to be with her. But you do understand why, don’t you?”

“I suppose,” she
said flatly. “So what did you wish to speak with me about?”

“Well, perhaps it
could wait until you’re feeling better.”

“No, no, it’s
fine.”

He paused a
moment, then asked, “Did you know what I wanted to ask you?”

“Well, Patsie
listened in and told me what you had said.”

“Ah.”  He raised
his eyebrows, then his face took on a serious expression. He pulled a ring from
his pocket, knelt on one knee and said, “I love you, Caroline, and it would be
a great honor if you would agree to be my wife.”

“Liam, I don’t
know what to say.”

“Say you’ll marry
me and that you would be my wife.”

“Well, I. . .” 

Liam stepped back
and raised his eyebrows.  When he finally made eye contact, she swallowed once
but said nothing.

“What, Caroline?”
Liam’s face took on a worried expression.

“Yes, of course,
I would be most happy to marry you.”