In Name Only (60 page)
Authors: Ellen Gable
“Miss Caroline?”
“Yes?”
“I never got to give
Kip a kiss goodbye. The busyness of life just made it seem so unimportant. I
thought we’d have years and years together.”
“Jane.”
“How did you get
through those first days after Mr. Liam died?”
“I don’t know.
It’s all a blur now. I just remember thinking that I would never be happy
again.”
Jane stifled a
sob. “Tell me about your childhood, Miss Caroline. You never knew your Ma, did
you?”
“No, I didn’t. .
.”
Then Caroline
began to speak of her childhood, waiting, hoping that Jane would eventually
want to rest.
Chapter 71
Caroline adjusted
the pillows while Mr. Ferguson assisted David onto his bed. David remained
frustrated that he wasn’t yet able to do simple activities by himself, but he
was thankful that he was finally home.
“Thank you,”
David said. Caroline sat beside him. When Mr. Ferguson left the room, she
commented, “I don’t know what I would have done without him these past several
days. With Kip gone, he’s been a tremendous help.”
“We owe him
immense gratitude.”
“Yes, we do.”
There was a quiet
knock at the door. Jane stood in the doorway with a tray. “Mr. David, I made
you some consommé.” She walked toward the bed.
“Thank you.”
Jane placed it on
the table beside his bed. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. David?”
“No, that will be
fine.” Before the servant reached the door, David called to her.
“Yes, Mr. David?”
“I wanted to tell
you how sorry I am about Kip. I wish I could have helped him.”
“Don’t you worry
about that, Mr. David. Miss Caroline told me. There wasn’t nothing you could
do for my Kip.”
“Well, he was a
good man and I will miss him.”
Jane’s head
lowered, then almost immediately, she lifted her chin. “Thank you for saying
so, Mr. David.” She left the room and closed the door behind her.
David laid his
head back on the pillows behind him. Caroline reached for the bowl of consommé
at the table. “Want to try some of this, David? It smells delicious.”
As Caroline began
to feed him, he stopped her. “I can probably do it myself. What I really want
is to see the children.”
“I didn’t want
them jumping on you so I asked Hallie to take them outside.”
“I understand,
but I would like to see them now.”
“Of course.”
Caroline leaned in to kiss his forehead and whispered, “I’ve missed you. I’m so
glad you’re home.”
“I am as well,”
he replied, as she left the room. Within minutes, pounding on the steps and in
the hallway told him that his children were coming to welcome him home.
“Papa, you’re
home!” Kathleen ran to his bedside with Will following behind and Caroline and
Hallie trailing as they held John’s hand.
“How are you,
Kat?”
“Oh, I’m fine,
Papa. Mama said we couldn’t hug you yet, but that we could say hello.”
“That’s right.”
“Where’d ya get
hurt?” asked Will.
“Right here,
son.” He lifted his shirt up to show him the bandage that now covered a large
area of his stomach.
“You got lots of
hair on your belly, Papa,” said Will.
“Yes, Will, I
do.”
“You gotta big
hurt?” said John, staring at David’s stomach.
“Yes, John, it’s
a big hurt.”
“Can I give your
tummy a kiss and make it better, Papa?” Kathleen asked.
“Kat, I think you
better give me a kiss right here, on the cheek,” he said, pointing to his
face. She carefully leaned in to kiss his face.
“Papa,” she
whispered.
“Yes, Kat?”
“Mama has been
smiling all day because you were coming home. She missed you.”
David glanced at
Caroline. She was using her handkerchief to wipe the side of John’s face and
she was frowning as he was pulling his face away from her. She was a beautiful
woman even when she scowled.
“Mr. David, Isaac
wanted to see you too,” said Jane from the door. Her son, Isaac, stood quietly
by her side.
“Hello, Isaac.
How are you? I’m sorry to hear about your Pa.”
He nodded and
moved behind Will and Kathleen. “You got hurt, Mr. David?”
“I did. Want to
see the bandage?”
He nodded.
“It’s big,” said
Will. “Wait’ll ya see it.”
David lifted his
shirt up to show Isaac, and his three children again stared with wide eyes. It
seemed ridiculous that the doctor had placed a large bandage on such a small,
though deep, wound.
He looked past
Caroline and the children to see Hallie standing at the foot of the bed.
Without speaking, Hallie seemed to say, “Glad you’re all right, Mr. David.” As
he put his shirt down, he could feel himself blushing.
“All right, time to
go back downstairs, everyone! Let Mr. David get some rest.” Jane took Isaac’s
and Will’s hands and Hallie took John’s hand with Kathleen close behind.
“Bye, Papa,”
Kathleen called from across the room.
“Bye, Kat. Come
back and visit me later.”
“Oh, I will,
Papa. I will.”
* * *
Caroline caught a
glimpse of Hallie watching David. Was it relief that she saw in the servant’s
eyes? Certainly, everyone was grateful that David was recuperating well.
She watched Jane
and Hallie take the children from the room.
“Time to change
your bandage.”
He took off his
shirt and she carefully unwrapped the bandage. The wound appeared to be
healing well, with no redness or swelling. She washed the area, then applied a
clean bandage.
“In a few weeks,
you’ll be as good as new.”
“A few weeks?”
“Yes, and we will
be able to. . .” She tenderly caressed the area above the bandage on his
stomach, then leaned down and placed a soft gentle kiss to his chest.
“A few weeks?
No, Caroline, a few days. . .” he said, his eyes determined and his mouth
upturned in a smile.
Epilogue
Caroline reached
inside her bottom dresser drawer, lifted out Liam’s cigar box and set it on her
bed. How different her life was from the first time that she had received
this. Her heart had been grieving so much back then that she could not fully
appreciate anything or anyone in those early days: not Liam, not Kathleen and
certainly not David. She couldn’t even be thankful to God, the Author of life.
She had wanted a
life with a perfect ending like most novels, an ending with a tidy, neat and
happy conclusion. Instead, she had learned that life was about taking each
moment, good and bad, and making the best of it. Most importantly, it was about
trusting God, that His grace would be all she needed to endure.
She tenderly
traced the letters, then opened the box. On top was the letter from Liam, his
words written in David’s hand, the piece of paper which not only changed her
life, it took her on a journey of love, adventure and faith.
Nostalgically,
Caroline picked up the envelope with Liam’s opened wax seal and lifted out his
letter, the back of it covered with mud stains. Her heart was heavy with
emotion as she read some of his last words to her:
I want you
to know that I love you very much and I want you to be happy. . .I have asked
David to consent to enter into a marriage of convenience, a marriage in name
only, you and David
.
“Yes, Liam, I am
happier than I have ever been.”
“I’m glad,” she
heard, then could feel David as he hugged her from behind. Caroline, still
clutching the letter, turned around and embraced him. After a few moments, she
pulled away.
She again picked
up Liam’s last letter which had asked Caroline to consent to an In Name Only
marriage, and held it in front of her husband.
“David, do you
think he knew that it would end like this, with you and me?”
“I’m not sure.”
He laughed under his breath. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he thought it might
end like this.”
Their newborn
infant began to cry. David reached into the crib and picked up their child, a
fair-haired son they named Patrick Andrew. The baby turned his head and opened
his mouth.
“I think he’s
hungry, Caroline.”
“Indeed,” she
said, taking the baby from him.
“I’m grateful to
God that the birth went so well this time.”
“Amen to that.”
She sat on the
edge of the bed and began to nurse.
David sat beside
her and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. “Do you know how much I love you?”
She nodded.
Suddenly,
Caroline felt tremendous gratitude to God for her life with David and their
children. Years ago, when Liam died, she thought that her life was over. In
reality, it had only just begun. Life had become a miraculous adventure.
Author’s notes:
During the 19th
century, it was accepted practice that couples would refrain from sexual
intercourse during pregnancy. The understanding was that relations could be
harmful to the developing child.
This, however, is
not the modern day recommendation. Unless the wife is at risk for miscarriage,
intercourse during pregnancy is now considered to be a safe way for married
couples to enjoy intimacy.
In the 19th
century, there were no reliable moral methods of avoiding pregnancy except for
complete abstinence. Nowadays, couples may morally avoid pregnancy by using
Natural Family Planning, a safe, healthy and effective method.
Acknowledgments:
I am indebted to
many people. First of all, to Father Arthur Joseph for spiritual direction.
To my husband, James Hrkach, who patiently spent hours discussing plot lines
and character development with me.
Special thanks to
Michelle Sinasac for helping me to write Patsie’s lower class Irish accent.
Many thanks to the
following people for their candid and honest feedback on various drafts of this
novel: Alana Blunt, Christopher Blunt, Kathy Cassanto, James Hrkach, Sarah
Loten, Jeanette MacDonald, Martha Jahn, Nancy Jahn, Laurie Power, Ginger Regan,
Regina Rolph, Josie Scott, Michelle Sinasac, Jessica Smith, Sarah Smith, Ingrid
Waclawik, Louise Waclawik, Lynne Zander.
Thank you to PM
Dupuis for overall editing, Laura Brestovansky for copy-editing and to Sarah
Loten, Cheryl Thompson, Ginger Regan, Louise Waclawik and Lynne Zander for
proofreading. To the Arnprior and District Museum (Janet Carlile and Cathy
Rodger) for the use of their Victorian bedroom (which was used in the cover
photo) and for the authentic period clothing which they generously allowed our
cover models to wear. To Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church in Braeside, Ontario for allowing us to use Church property to photograph the back cover
photo. To Tom McCabe for answering questions regarding sacramental marriage.
To Brittany
Robinson, for posing for the cover photo. Special thanks to my sons, Ben
Hrkach and Tim Hrkach, for posing for the back cover photo.
Ellen Gable
Hrkach
June, 2009
About the Author
Ellen Gable is a
wife and mother to five sons. She was born in New Jersey, USA. She has been married to James Hrkach for 29 years and has called Canada her home that entire time.
Ellen has had
articles published in various magazines in the United States and Canada as well as many websites. She and her husband create the “Family Life” cartoon in Family
Foundations magazine.
For the last 27
years, they have been actively involved in Catholic apologetics, teaching
Natural Family Planning, participating in Marriage Preparation and promoting
chastity. Ellen also writes a monthly column for www.AmazingCatechists.com.
called “Sexually Speaking.”
In Name Only is
Ellen’s second novel. Her first, Emily’s Hope, won an Honorable Mention Award
for Religious Fiction in the 2006 Independent Publisher Book Awards.
For more
information, check out the following websites:
Ellen’s blog:
Plot Line and Sinker
at