In Pursuit of Miriam (11 page)

Get it over with,
she said to herself and, straightening her gown and checking her appearance in the mirror, she opened the door, and immediately the butler appeared and led her to the drawing room.

“I will arrange for more tea to be served,” he said formally.

“That is most kind,” Miriam replied.

To say the atmosphere was strained when she entered the room would be a gross understatement. Miriam was pleased that Vincent remembered his manners and came over to greet her. Giving her his arm, he took her over to where his mother was seated.

“Mother, I have the pleasure of introducing my wife, Miriam.”

Miriam was sure that it was only years of breeding that enabled the countess to respond with a curt, “I believe we met once before.”

“Yes indeed,” replied Miriam. “I had the pleasure of being introduced to you at my cousin Percival's wedding.”

She allowed Vincent to seat her in a chair between himself and his mother. It soon became clear to Miriam that no one was about to instigate conversation. As the atmosphere became increasingly strained, she tried for the commonplace.

“We had a long journey to reach here,” she said, “but fortunately the weather, although cold, stayed clear and we were able to make good time.”

“Humph,” responded the countess.

Miriam tried again. “I am sorry you were unable to attend our wedding. It was, however, a very small affair with it being arranged so quickly.”

Again “Humph,” was the only response.

“Come, Mother,” Vincent tried to intercede. “Miriam is trying to engage in conversation and you seem to have a lapse in your manners.”

Miriam noted that this prompted a response.

“You…You…accuse
me
of poor behaviour. I think that you should look to yourself,” the older woman countered, her thin, angular face contorted with anger.

“Mother, how many times must I tell you that neither Miriam nor I have behaved badly or in any way that need concern us or you?” Aware that he had raised his voice, Vincent took a deep breath before continuing, “We have chosen to marry each other and I would expect you to be happy for us and support us in this. I thought, as you have been pressing me to find someone to wed, you would be pleased.”

“When I said you should marry, I did not expect you to choose the first wretch that came your way,” his mother spat out.

Miriam realized that they had quite forgotten that she was still in the room, and although mortified by his mother's outburst, she decided to take action.

“Vincent, would you be so good as to ring for my maid so that she can accompany me to another room?” Miriam asked, biting her lip in a determined attempt not to let them see how close to tears she was. “I do not wish to sit here any longer and hear this conversation.”

“Miriam, please accept my apologies,” Vincent said. “I am sure my mother does not mean to upset you, but she seems to have not yet come to terms with our marriage.” He turned to the countess. “Mother I must insist you apologize to Miriam immediately. She has done nothing to deserve your unkind comments and I will not stand by and see you treat her thus.”

The countess seemed to have a difficult time composing herself, but eventually her good manners shone through. Through tight lips she managed to say, “Miriam, please accept my apologies. I was upset and angry and should have kept my thoughts to myself. I will be the person to leave the room. You may stay here with Vincent.” With that, she swept out of the room, leaving Miriam and Vincent at a loss as to how to deal with this.

Miriam was the first to break the silence. “I am not surprised. We both knew that your mother would not be happy with the marriage. I am sure that she will think about what she said in her distress and will not be happy with her behaviour.”

“You are most understanding.” Vincent was ready to strangle his mother. “She just needs a little time to get used to the idea. I do not intend returning to London until next weekend, and by then I am sure that she will have come round. Meanwhile I will show you around the estate and introduce you to the estate manager. Do you feel sufficiently rested to take a tour of the house today?”

“Yes, I should love to do that,” responded Miriam, glad to have a diversion.

Miriam and Vincent spent the rest of the day exploring the castle, taking rests and drinks whenever Miriam felt tired. She thought the place was magnificent, and the pictures of Vincent's ancestors showed that he came from generations of tall, good-looking aristocrats. She also realized that she would be unlikely to remember what the many rooms were used for, and so she focussed on remembering the rooms that she would need to use every day. Vincent led her back to her bedroom in time to change before dinner, which was to be served at seven o'clock.

Miriam dressed carefully. She wanted to look her best to give herself extra confidence when she had to face Vincent's mother again. In the event, it was not too hard. Vincent's mother showed her inherent good manners and, although not friendly, was polite throughout the meal and kept conversation at an inconsequential, impersonal level. Following the meal, Vincent excused himself and went to the library. His mother pleaded a headache and went to her room and so Miriam decided that she, too, would retire for the night.

Once in her bedroom Miriam realized that she was not really very tired and so she sat by the fire for a short while and read a book. She did not ask Susan to help her change into nightclothes straight away as she thought Vincent might come to the room to provide her with the key to the adjoining door. By ten o'clock she was yawning and rang for Susan. She did not think that Vincent would disturb her at such a late hour about the key.

Although she had felt tired, Miriam found that when she was actually in bed she could not sleep, because she was going over and over in her mind all that had transpired that day. She was particularly worried about Vincent's mother's disapproval of her and wondered how she would behave towards her when Vincent returned to London next week. The countess could make her life very uncomfortable.

Eventually she gave up trying to sleep, and lighting a candle next to her bed, she got up and resumed reading her book in the chair in front of the fire. It was an attempt to stop herself from dwelling on what may happen in the future. Miriam was well aware, from past experience, that any situation always seemed worse in the middle of the night.

Sometime later Miriam awoke with a jolt and realized that she must have drifted off to sleep curled up in the chair. Her book had fallen to the floor, the candle had burned out and the fire was so low that it was giving off very little heat. She surmised that she had awakened because she had become too cold, and so she stood up to make her way to her bed, where she could warm up under the thick blankets. As she stood her legs, which had been folded underneath her and unknown to her had gone numb as a consequence of this, gave way beneath her. She felt herself falling, but could do little to prevent this.

After the meal, Vincent had retired to the library, and upon returning briefly to the dining room, he found that his wife and his mother had gone straight to their respective bedrooms. He therefore returned to the library to have a cigar and some brandy, which he felt was well deserved after having put up with his mother's behaviour towards both himself and Miriam earlier in the day. Not to mention her frosty politeness at the dinner table.

He acknowledged that his marriage must have upset his mother greatly, but he had never known her to be as blunt and unpleasant as she had been that day towards Miriam. He would have to tackle the problem tomorrow and try to get her to accept Miriam before he left for London. Meanwhile he would read the paper and unwind from the day. He was most conscious of not disturbing or upsetting Miriam, particularly as he had not yet managed to locate a key to the bedroom door as he'd intended. He remained in the library until gone midnight by which time he had drunk an ample quantity of port and could barely keep his eyes from closing.

Vincent had let Mason retire earlier, as he was quite capable of getting himself ready for bed. He entered his room being very careful to make as little noise as possible so as not to disturb Miriam. He got into his nightshirt and put some extra coal on the fire before making his way into his bed. Not hearing any sound from the adjoining room, he presumed that Miriam was asleep. He was gradually drifting off into a sleep himself when a loud thud from her room brought him suddenly and fully awake.

He sat up in bed and listened carefully, but did not hear any further noise. Surely the noise must have awakened Miriam, too. What was it? Maybe it had frightened her. He was in a quandary about what to do. Eventually he decided that he would open the adjoining door slightly and take a look to make sure everything was all right. If it was, he could then go back to sleep without a worry and with Miriam not being any the wiser.

Whatever Vincent thought might have made the thud did not prepare him for the sight that confronted him as he peered round the door into Miriam's bedroom.

“God in heaven!” he exclaimed at the sight of Miriam lying face-down on the floor motionless. With trembling hands he took his candle and lit the candles in her room from it. Feeling sick with fear at what he might find but trying to maintain his composure, he hunkered down next to Miriam to see if she was alive or dead. He touched her arm and found it icy cold, as was her hand. His heart was beating rapidly as he gently turned her onto her back, so he could see her face. Her body was limp and she appeared lifeless. Fearing the worst, Vincent placed his hand on her chest with trepidation. To his great relief he felt the gradual rise and fall as she breathed softly.

“Thank God!” he breathed. Looking at her face, he thought yet again how pretty she was. She looked so very young as she lay on the floor, unconscious. Vincent then noticed a red mark on her forehead and surmised that she must have fallen and bumped her head on the hearth, thus knocking herself unconscious. But she was so cold! Surely she couldn't have got so cold in the short time between his hearing her fall and his coming into the room. Quickly he took a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her. He lifted her inert little body into his arms and carried her through to his own bedroom, where the fire still burned warmly. He considered putting her in his bed but worried about her reaction if she found herself there when she came round. Would she think he was going to take advantage of her?

“Come now, Miriam, all will be well,” he whispered to her, trying to convince himself of this. As he looked down at her she moved slightly, but still her eyes did not open. Knowing that he could not stand with her in his arms all night and concerned by how cold she felt, he sat down on the chair in front of the fire, keeping her in his arms. He hoped that she would benefit from his body heat and warm up quickly.

As he sat holding her, Vincent prayed that she would recover. He gently rubbed her arms and her face in an attempt to rouse her. He felt totally responsible for her—thank God he had not found the key for the door. If she had locked it, he wasn't sure what would have happened. Would he have called her name, and getting no answer, have kicked open the door—not an easy thing to do. He decided that as soon as she warmed up a little, he would return her to her bedroom, call her maid and send for the doctor. Meanwhile, he sat holding her close to him watching for any sign of improvement.

Gradually he felt her body begin to warm. Her eyes fluttered and he held his breath, hoping that she would open them and look at him. Her eyes did not open, but he felt her pressing close to him as though her body knew she needed his warmth.
His
body was responding to the nearness of hers and he found he could do little about this except give thanks that she was not awake to feel his hardness, which was not well contained by his nightshirt. He took some deep breaths and tried to regain some control of his body's animal-like response. He was not successful. And when Miriam eventually opened her eyes and looked directly at him, his whole body reacted in a manner that left him in no doubt that he was totally aroused by her. Firmly he pushed these feelings and reactions aside—he would need to explore them at a later date.

“How are you feeling?” he asked gently.

He saw the confusion on her face.

“What has happened? Why am I here?” Miriam tried to pull away from him.

Vincent relaxed his grip so as not to frighten her. “I heard a noise from your bedroom and when I looked to make sure you were all right I found you lying on the floor. You were cold and seemed lifeless, and for a short time, I feared I had lost you.”

“I…I don't know what happened,” Miriam began haltingly. “I could not sleep and got up to sit by the fire to read more of my book. I…I know I fell asleep in the chair because when I awoke, the candle had burned out and the fire was low. I felt very cold so decided to go to my bed. Th-that is the last I remember.”

“It seems you must have fallen. You appear to have bumped your head.” Vincent took her hand and gently placed it on the red area on her forehead, which had now developed into a lump.

“Ouch! That hurts. Was I unconscious long?”

“No, I came through almost immediately after hearing a thud, and I have been sitting with you trying to get you warm for perhaps ten minutes. As your body warmed up you seemed to recover consciousness.” He did not know exactly how long he had been holding her. He knew it was longer than the ten minutes he told her, but he did not want to cause her any more worry.

Miriam, who for a moment had forgotten that she was in his lap, now blushed hotly.

“Please let me down. I am sure I will be fine now to go back to my room,” she said.

Vincent put her on her feet, but soon realized that she was very weak, and despite her protestations, she would not be able to make it back to her bedroom without his assistance.

“Lean against me,” Vincent offered. “I will help you through to your room and then call your maid. You have had a severe bump on the head and must be watched over.” He remained worried about her and was undecided whether to send for the doctor now or wait until morning.

Once Miriam was settled in her bed, Vincent saw that she still looked very pale and the swelling on her forehead was getting worse. He went over to the washstand and soaked a towel in the now cold water, then took it to her to hold as a compress on the lump.

Miriam smiled at him as she took the wet towel but could not stifle an “ouch!” as she placed it on her forehead. She could see concern on his face.

“I have had many falls in my lifetime due to my silly weak legs, and so far have always recovered,” Miriam tried to reassure him. “I hope I did not alarm you too much. I am sure that other than a sore head, I will be as right as nine-pence in the morning.”

Vincent was not convinced but admired her bravery.

“I will have someone fetch your maid and she can sit and watch over you tonight. I worry that you may slip back into unconsciousness.”

“Please do not bother Susan. It is late and not so many hours of the night are left until morning. I am convinced I will be fine.”

Vincent was not convinced. “If you will not let me call for your maid, I will be obliged to sit by you and make sure all is well until I send for a doctor in the morning,” he said.

If Vincent thought this threat would persuade her to send for her maid, he was mistaken.

“You are fussing over me,” Miriam declared, although she was touched by his concern. “I intend to go directly to sleep, so there would be no point sitting with me. I will not provide any company and you will be tired and ill-tempered in the morning from lack of sleep. Go back to your own room. I promise I will call you if I feel unwell.”

Vincent felt he had no choice but to comply. He did not want Miriam to think he did not respect her wishes, but he was uneasy as he returned to his bedroom.

After lying in bed for what seemed a very long time, Vincent realized that there was no chance of sleep for him. He simply was not sure if he had done the right thing, leaving her on her own. What if she lapsed back into unconsciousness? What if she tried getting up and fell again? What if she were found dead in the morning? Finally he decided that, to save his own sanity, he would go through and firmly tell her that she must send for her maid. He was her husband, after all. He would not call her maid without her consent because she had been so against this course of action, and he did not want to lose her trust.

Feeling better at having reached a decision, Vincent got out of bed. He put on his robe and, using the light from the fire, made his way to the connecting door. He opened the door very quietly and slowly made his way over to the bed. He looked down at Miriam. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully and her breathing was normal. He did not want to wake her and so decided that, as he could not sleep, he would sit and keep a vigil beside her until the morning. He would return to his own room when he heard her maid coming or saw her begin to stir.

His first thought was to move the chair from by the fire and place it right beside the bed. From there he would be able to see Miriam's face and keep an eye on her breathing. However, when he went to move the chair, he found that it was heavy. Too heavy to lift. He tried dragging it, but the noise it made against the floor made him stop immediately for fear of waking her.

Knowing that he could not remain standing for the rest of the night, and against his better judgement, he decided to seat himself on the edge of the bed at the opposite side to where she lay. He sat down very slowly so as not to jolt the mattress and then very slowly swung his legs up onto the bed until he was seated upright on top of the covers with his back resting on the pillows.

As he watched her even breathing, he started to try to make sense of the way his body had reacted when he had held her in his lap. He remembered that this was not the first time this had happened. He had responded in a similar way when his body had first come in contact with hers as he helped her with the stairs at the theatre. He had felt the same again when he lifted her into the carriage after their wedding. And then again when he had carried her up to the bedroom on the first night they arrived. He'd pretended he did this for the benefit of the servants—and told himself at the time it was because she had looked so tired—but if he was being honest with himself, it was because he enjoyed having her in his arms.

When Vincent had first met Miriam, he had thought his feelings for her were merely protective, and although he still felt fiercely protective of her, he now knew there was more to his feelings. For whatever reason he found himself more physically attracted to her than any woman he had ever met.

The more he thought about this, the more worried he became. Even as he looked down at her sleeping peacefully next to him, he could feel his body's state of arousal and the chill in the room was doing little to help him master it. They had agreed that theirs would be a marriage of convenience and that he would never force any physical attentions on her. He meant to keep that promise, but now he realized that he would be a very frustrated, unhappy man if she never allowed the physical part of marriage. Initially he didn't think it mattered. Now he knew he was wrong.

As he lay on the bed he made up his mind to return to London at the earliest opportunity, once he was sure that she was fully recovered. He needed some space and perhaps the company of other women to gauge his reaction to Miriam. He might even indulge in the company of the sort of woman whose profession in life was to meet a man's sexual needs.

Vincent now began to make plans. Before he left for London he would introduce Miriam to Jeremy Stiles, his estate manager, and let him show Miriam around the estate and introduce her to the tenants. Jeremy knew the running of the estate better than he did. Jeremy's father, now elderly, had been the estate manager before he retired, and Jeremy had grown up on the Maudley Estate.

His mother could instruct Miriam in the running of the house, and of course, there was the Christmas Ball to arrange. Miriam and his mother would be busy and Miriam's friend Lucy was to visit.

Vincent was now quite convinced that the best thing for him to do was to make a speedy return to London and leave Miriam in the capable hands of others. Of course, he would have to return for the ball and stay for Christmas, but by then he would have his feelings under tight control.

Having determined his course of action, Vincent sat on the bed, leaning against the bedhead, and looked at Miriam, taking in every detail of her face so he would remember it when he left. He allowed his feelings to wash over him in the knowledge that soon he would have removed himself from the situation.

Soon he began to feel tired and felt no harm would come if he closed his eyes for a couple of minutes. Inevitably he fell asleep. He was startled into wakefulness by an ear-piercing scream. Miriam's maid had entered the room and, on seeing Miriam's bruised and swollen face, had screamed. Miriam looked at Vincent in what he thought was either shock or horror. Miriam's maid turned on him.