In Pursuit of Miriam (17 page)

As she lay in bed, Miriam at first thought she had imagined a faint knock on the door that separated her room from Vincent's. She sat up in bed and listened. The knock came again. She had not been mistaken and she went to the door and opened it a little way. Vincent stood there, still fully dressed.

Annoyed with himself for having wasted the opportunity to spend more time with her since his return from London, Vincent was hoping she would agree to spend some time with him now.

“I feel I've hardly had any opportunity to talk to you this evening, so I was wondering if you wanted to join me for a drink before I retire to bed,” he suggested tentatively. “I have put an extra chair in front of my fire for you should you agree. I promise you I wish for no more than to talk.” Although at the sight of Miriam standing in her bare feet, dressed only in a white linen nightgown, he thought he might find keeping that promise difficult.

Miriam saw from the expression on his face that he was doubtful as to what her response would be. However, the invitation was so unexpected that she was momentarily rendered speechless. Then, knowing that she wanted to spend as much time in his company as she could before he left her in the morning, she nodded.

“I will just get my robe and come through.” Excitement coursed through her—maybe he would kiss her again.

Pulling a warm robe around herself, she went through to Vincent's room. He led her to a chair next to the fire, then took a blanket from his bed to put around her shoulders. As his hands lingered on her shoulders, an involuntary spasm ran through Miriam's body. Mistaking this for a shiver from the cold, Vincent swiftly tucked the blanket around her. Miriam tensed to prevent another shudder, which would betray how much his touch affected her.

Vincent felt her tense. “I know that you agreed to breakfast with me in the morning, but my mother and brother will also be there and I wanted the opportunity to speak to you in private before I leave,” Vincent explained to reassure her. “Please relax. I do not mean you any harm.”

Miriam had not considered that she was in any danger from him. She was more at risk from her own emotions. Her worst fear was that he wanted to talk to her in private to discuss the annulment of their marriage, but she was soon reassured on this matter.

Vincent seated himself in the chair next to her. “Before I leave, I want to apologize again for the deplorable way I treated you when I returned from London and to ask if there is anything further I can do to make amends. You did not deserve such treatment from me and I will understand if you feel you can no longer continue with this marriage arrangement.” He looked away, holding his breath, while he waited for her response.

Miriam saw that he seemed unable to look her in the face as he spoke, and following his own example, put a finger under his chin and turned his face towards hers. “I completely forgave you some days ago and thought that you knew this,” she said, looking him directly in the eye. “I assure you that I am perfectly content for our marriage to continue for as long as you feel it is appropriate.” In that moment she knew with certainty that, if given the opportunity, she would stay with him on any terms.

Miriam did not move away as Vincent leaned towards her and kissed her gently on the mouth. “Never think that I have any regrets about marrying you,” he murmured, then kissed her again, this time a little more deeply. Instinctively she responded, her mouth opening under the pressure from his lips. After a moment, Vincent groaned and pulled away.

“I think you should return to your room now or I may not be able to keep my promise,” he rasped as he got to his feet. He took her hand and pulling her up from the chair, walked her back to her own bedroom. Once there, he reluctantly returned to his own room and closed the door firmly behind him.

Miriam climbed into bed and lay there trembling as she remembered the warmth of his kiss. She had made no attempt to end the kiss—in fact, it had rendered her incapable of rational thought. She could not be sure, but perhaps she had fallen in love with him.

Vincent returned to his own bed aroused and uncomfortable. Her response to his kiss had been unexpected and had instantly ignited a fire in him that had taken all his strength to douse. He was thankful that he had managed not to break his promise to never force himself on his wife. Having regained her trust, he did not want to lose it now.

 

The next morning Susan knocked on Miriam's door and helped her dress for breakfast. When Miriam went down to the dining room, she found Vincent, Charles and their mother already there. She helped herself to some eggs even though she was not hungry.

She noticed that Vincent had piled his plate high with food. “Do you think that all the inns on the road to London will have run out of food before you get there?” she teased. She managed to keep her tone light-hearted even as she felt sick at the thought of his leaving.

Although Vincent was eating his plate of food, he was not tasting it. He wished that he did not have to return to London this morning. He sensed that his relationship with Miriam was just beginning to blossom into something more than platonic. Seeing her toy with her food made him suspect that she was feeling similarly. Like her, he tried to keep the conversation flowing.

“Well, perhaps I am eating plenty here at home for the sake of my poor heart, which I am leaving here until I return,” he said, his smile encompassing his mother and brother before coming to rest on Miriam.

Miriam blushed at the implication that she had a place in his heart.

Too soon breakfast was over and it was time for Vincent to leave. His carriage was ready and packed, and Mason and a footman stood waiting for him. The morning was clear and cold, and Miriam could see the breath from the patiently waiting horses. Vincent hugged and kissed his mother, then shook hands with Charles and slapped him on the back. Miriam was not sure how he would take his leave of her. She desperately hoped he would kiss her. He approached her and led her a little distance away from the others.

“I hope you will write to me and let me know all the news from Maudley Castle.”

“Of course I will,” she assured him. She had the sense that, like her, he did not know quite what to say or do. What
she
wanted to do was fling her arms around him and beg him to stay.

“I will look forward to reading your letters,” Vincent said somewhat formally. He felt awkward.

Miriam did not want the pair of them to part in such a stiff fashion and so she shyly put her hand into his. He responded immediately by taking hold of both her hands and pulling her towards him.

“I will miss you,” he whispered.

“And I you,” Miriam replied softly, knowing she was very close to tears.

She felt Vincent's arms close around her, and as she looked up at him he brought his mouth down on hers. This was not a gentle kiss. As she parted her lips in response, the kiss deepened and she felt his tongue probing her mouth. Tingles of pleasure radiated through her and she found herself kissing him back with equal passion and pressing her body closer to his. She could not have said how long the kiss lasted, but when he pulled away she had never felt more bereft.

Miriam managed a weak smile as Vincent stepped away from her and climbed into the carriage. She could feel tears brimming in her eyes and struggled to keep them at bay until he left. She now knew without doubt that she was indeed very much in love with him. How she would cope with this knowledge she did not know.

Vincent looked back and waved. He would count the days until his return.

Miriam was thrilled to find out that before Vincent had returned to London, he had arranged for a groom to be available should she wish to ride Princess in the barn. This thoughtfulness demonstrated to Miriam that Vincent did care about her happiness and welfare.

And so, with Vincent in London and Charles back at Oxford, Miriam's life settled into a comfortable pattern. She resumed her regular morning meetings with Jeremy Stiles and she rode Princess on the other mornings, unless the weather was too severe. She visited Jeremy Stiles Senior regularly and she often accompanied the countess on social calls to their neighbours.

Once a week Miriam wrote to Vincent and occasionally she also wrote to Charles. Neither brother was good at corresponding, and so she seldom received a reply; this did worry her somewhat until the countess told her that they rarely replied to
her
letters, either.

At the end of January, Miriam received a long letter from her friend Lucy. She was delighted to read that Lucy had accepted Robert Bright's proposal and they were due to get married in the summer. She was overjoyed at the prospect of Lucy's becoming a neighbour here in Yorkshire. Lucy's missive also included an invitation for Miriam to visit her at Blackwood Hall at a time of her choosing.

Miriam discussed the invitation with the countess, and as they did not know when Vincent was coming home, the countess suggested that Miriam wait until after April to visit; the weather would be a little warmer then. Miriam, remembering how cold she had been when she made the journey from Derbyshire to Yorkshire in the autumn, thought this a good idea. She was secretly hoping that Vincent would return to Maudley Castle before Easter, and she knew his mother wished for this, too.

It was Miriam's twenty-first birthday at the beginning of February, and she was disappointed that Vincent had not returned for it. The countess knew of her daughter-in-law's dashed hope and did her best to make up for it by taking her into York to shop and have a meal out. Miriam's spirits rose when the following day she received a letter from Vincent in which he said he hoped that she had a good birthday and that he was thinking about her. He also said that he intended to return to Yorkshire at the end of March. Miriam was delighted at this news and rushed to tell the countess.

One morning at the beginning of March, all their plans suddenly, and unexpectedly, changed when a rider came with an urgent message from London. The brief message, penned by Vincent's valet, said: “Lord Chantry is very ill. Come as soon as possible.”

“Oh, my goodness!” exclaimed the countess after Miriam, with trembling hands, passed her the message to read.

“It does not say what's wrong,” Miriam said, her stomach churning with worry. “He didn't say he was unwell when he wrote me for my birthday. Whatever can be the matter?”

“I only know that Mason would not have sent for us if he was not very concerned. I…I can only assume that Vincent is not well enough to send for us himself.” Tears formed in the countess's eyes. “Things may not be as bad as they appear. We may be thinking the worse,” Miriam said, trying hard to reassure herself and the countess. But even to her own ears, she did not sound convincing. “We must go at once. I will send for the carriage and then ask the maids and footmen to prepare for us to leave for London immediately” the countess rallied. We can set off straight after lunch, and if we travel through the night with only short breaks to refresh ourselves and the horses, we can be there in three days. The journey will not be comfortable, but I would like to get there as soon as possible.”

“Yes, yes, so would I,” Miriam replied. “I will go immediately and instruct my maid to pack. Oh…I will also ask cook to pack us some food for the journey.” She left the room even as she spoke.

Both women made haste with the preparations for the journey. They ate an early lunch and set off for London just before midday.

“Perhaps by the time we arrive he will have made a recovery,” Miriam suggested to the countess after an hour or so. “It must be at least two days since the note was written.” Miriam tried to be optimistic, but knew that they were both considering another, unthinkable possibility. What if his condition had deteriorated? What if they did not get there in time?

The two sat in silence for much of the long journey, each wrapped in her own thoughts and fears. The countess could not bear another loss in her life so soon after the unexpected death of her husband. Miriam could not bear losing the man who had come to mean so much to her.

They both tried to be cheerful when they stopped at an inn along the way to take refreshment and feed and rest the horses.

Miriam tried again to reassure the countess. “Vincent is young and strong. I am sure he will pull through whatever is ailing him.”

“I hope you are right, but I cannot be settled until I have seen his condition for myself,” the countess replied.

“I am sure that whatever is wrong with him, he will feel better knowing that his mother is close by.” Miriam tried her hardest to remain positive. “We should be thankful the weather is fine and we can make good time.”

Both ladies slept fitfully as the carriage rocked and rumbled over the roads during the night. Miriam was worried that if Vincent had already made a full recovery, he would not be happy that she had travelled to London; she knew that he had never intended her to be a part of his life in there. The more tired she became, the more she was beset by anxieties.

Eventually, after nearly three days of almost constant travelling, they stopped at an inn just outside London for a meal before continuing on what would be the last and slowest leg of their journey—through the crowded London streets. Neither ate much as they were both anxious to continue on their way. Miriam had never been to London before and as the light was beginning to fail, she could see little out the carriage window. She had always wanted to visit London, but had never imagined her first visit would be under such dire circumstances.

After what seemed like an eternity, the carriage pulled up in front of a large house in St. John's Wood. The countess told Miriam that this was the family's London address. It was almost nine-thirty when they rapped on the door. It was quickly answered by a butler.

“It is good to see you, my lady. You have made good speed.”

“What has happened? How is my son?” the countess demanded, doing away with all pleasantries.

The butler's face looked grave. “His lordship suffered an injury at his fencing club two weeks ago, and the wound, although it appeared to be healing well at first, became infected. The fever has spread quickly through his body.”

“What is his condition now?” asked Miriam, trying to remain calm.

“He still has a high fever. The doctor comes every morning, and when he saw that Lord Chantry was showing little sign of improvement, he suggested we send for his family. Mason wrote to you immediately.”

“You did the right thing,” the countess told him. “Please take us to see him now.”

The women removed their travelling cloaks and handed them to a footman before following the butler up the stairs. Miriam let the countess go first since her own progress was slow. Besides, as his mother, the countess had more right to be there than herself, who was merely his wife in name only. The butler tapped on the door to Vincent's bedroom and it was opened by Mason. The heat of the room hit Miriam and she recognized the distinct smell of a sickroom. Miriam had nursed her father enough in his long illness for this smell to be familiar to her.

“My lord remains delirious with a fever, which seems to worsen every day,” explained Mason. “Nothing the doctor has prescribed seems to have any beneficial effect. I tend him as best I can, but he does not know who I am or even that I'm here.”

Miriam stood back and watched as the countess went over to the bed. On seeing her son, all colour drained from her face. “Oh, my poor boy!” she exclaimed and promptly fell into a faint.

Mason and the butler rushed to pick her up and seat her on a chair, where after some vigorous fanning, she started to come round.

“Countess, you are tired from the long journey,” Miriam said. “I will be happy to stay with Vincent while you rest for the night. You can take over from me in the morning.” Miriam made the suggestion because it was obvious that the countess was, at present, in no state to be of any help to her son. Miriam then addressed the butler. “Could you send immediately for the countess's maid to assist her to her bedroom?”

“Thank you, my dear,” said the countess. “I am indeed tired to the extreme from both the journey and the anxiety. You must promise you will fetch me at once if you feel he deteriorates further.”

Miriam gave the countess her assurance that she would.

When the countess had left the room, Miriam approached the bed. She did not know what she had expected, but the reality of what she saw shocked her. Vincent was indeed suffering. His forehead was beaded with sweat, he looked gaunt, and he was moving restlessly, making incoherent noises. The sheets on his bed were soaking wet from his sweat and perhaps from other bodily fluids.

Miriam took a step away; this was not the strong, handsome man she had married. For a brief moment she was unsure if she could cope, but then she pulled herself together, realizing that at least until morning when the countess was rested and the doctor had visited, she had no other choice. She called Mason over. He looked exhausted; he had obviously stayed with Vincent throughout the illness.

“Fetch me clean sheets for the bed,” she instructed him, “a clean nightshirt, a bowl of warm water…and some clean cloths.” She knew she must take charge. In her experience men were not good in the sickroom. “Oh, and get someone to bring me a cup of cooled boiled water…and a spoon.” She mentally ticked off what they would need.

Mason dashed off, glad to be useful. He returned shortly with all the requested items.

“I can see you are tired,” Miriam told Mason sympathetically, “but before I let you leave to get some rest, I will need your help to wash Vincent and put fresh sheets on the bed.”

Between them they lifted Vincent to a sitting position. She could feel that his body was on fire beneath her touch.

“Help me remove his nightshirt,” she instructed.

The garment came off, and Miriam, who had never seen a naked male body before in her life, had to force herself not to avert her eyes. She took a clean cloth, dampened it in the water and began to wash his body with it. Now she found herself fascinated by the sight of him but brushed this aside in order to concentrate on the task at hand. Mason had placed a sheet over Vincent's private areas and Miriam was grateful for this. When all but this intimate part of his body was wiped down, she gave the cloth to Mason and indicated that he should finish. If Mason thought it was odd that a wife did not do this herself, she was too tired to care.

When Miriam was fully satisfied that Vincent was thoroughly washed, they took the wet sheets off the bed and replaced them with crisp, clean ones.

“You can get some rest now,” she told the exhausted valet. “I will need your assistance in the morning to do the same again. It is important that he is kept clean and dry.”

Mason nodded his assent and left the room.

With Mason gone, Miriam approached the bed again and, lifting the sleeve of Vincent's nightshirt, took a closer look at the wound. Vincent was not as agitated since he had been bathed, but his breathing remained shallow and rapid and he did not seem to recognize her. The cut on his arm was not large, but it was very inflamed. Miriam was further concerned because a foul smell emanated from the wound; she determined that she would discuss this with the doctor in the morning. Meanwhile, she took action and began to spoon sips of cool boiled water into his mouth.

As the night went on, Miriam was exhausted but did not give up. She knew that to stand any chance of recovery Vincent must be kept as cool as possible and that he must not be allowed to get parched. She alternated between wiping his face and neck with a cool cloth and trying to get him to take sips of water. She found that if she took a break from these activities, he soon became restless again, and so she continued through the night.

When Miriam saw daylight peep through a chink in the curtains, she opened the curtains wide to let in the sun. Vincent's condition had not changed. Mason came into the bedroom at about seven, and together they again bathed Vincent and changed the sheets.

“I must thank you, my lady, for allowing me to retire last night. I can manage now if you need to rest,” Mason offered.

“Thank you. I will just go refresh myself and get something to eat, but I will not retire to my bed until I have spoken to the doctor at his morning visit.”

Miriam instructed Mason on how to bathe Vincent's forehead and spoon water into his mouth while she was gone.

As Miriam left Vincent's bedroom she asked the first maid she saw to send for her own maid. When Susan arrived she showed Miriam to the bedroom next to Vincent's that had been prepared for her use. Susan filled a bath for Miriam, who was eager to bathe and change from her travelling clothes, aware that she had been wearing them now for over three days. She had a short soak in the bath, washed her hair and dressed in a practical day dress. She did not dare sit down for too long for she feared that she would fall asleep. When she had eaten some breakfast she felt a little better, and after a couple of cups of tea, she felt ready to await the doctor's visit.

A little later Susan came to inform her that the doctor had arrived and was with Vincent. Miriam immediately rose and went to his bedroom, arriving just as the doctor was examining him. Miriam sent Susan to fetch the countess, then joined the doctor at the bedside and introduced herself to him.