In the Shadow of a Dream (33 page)

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Authors: Sharad Keskar

BOOK: In the Shadow of a Dream
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‘I mean you can go. Fly from Bombay.’

‘Alone?’

‘Yes. That’s never been a problem. You’ve been gadding about here, there and everywhere alone. The supremely confident, seasoned traveller!’

‘Don’t you want to come with me? You haven’t been to England.’

‘Kitty, you’re going to hate me for this. I could have gone with Sam, when he went to England and Scotland…and he wanted very much for me to keep him company.’

‘Why? Why didn’t you?’

Dusty chortled nervously. Then he fell silent.

‘Answer me?’ She went up to him and dug his ribs. ‘Say something?’ She kissed the corner of his mouth.

He cupped her face in his hands. ‘My dearest, it means crossing “the black waters”. Sorry darling, but I am serious. It is silly, I know, superstitious and a Hindu thing. But as to why, I can’t say why, just accept it.’

‘I’ve heard about this “black waters” stuff…Poppycock! And you’re not Hindu.’

‘Oh, all right, it’s an excuse, an excuse for something…something I hate to admit. I’m pathologically afraid of flying. Please, my love, you go. Go with my blessing.’

‘There’s nothing to fear. We’ll be together. And it will be such great fun.’

‘Yes, it will, but not for me. And another thing, all of you will be cooing over the boy. Alice’s child, Dinesh’s son. Yes. And I’ll feel self-conscious, worse, inadequate, while you get all broody.’

‘At my age! I’m unlikely to want…It’s no joke being a mother after thirty-four.’

‘I saw the look on your face, when you broke the news that day, and I’m a bit self-conscious, you know, clearly something’s wrong. Maybe because I married late.’

‘There’s nothing wrong. I should know. Darling, you may be a genius, but there are things you don’t know and there are things within my control.’

‘Now, if any impasse deserves to be defined as a conundrum, this is it.’

Kitty laughed. ‘I laugh because I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Kitty, you have to stop dodging life. You can’t flutter about from…oh, to put it plainly you’ve got to dig in, stay put, build a nest. You wanted to be a teacher, well, I’m giving you that opportunity. Your own school, for us to run together.’

‘Oh, Dusty. You’re making me nervous, unsure about what I want. Suppose I don’t want to be tied down. The only commitment I want to make is for us to be together. But it makes me feel dependent. I don’t like, even more because I see no alternative.’

‘Aren’t we a pair! Say what you like about what I don’t know, I’ve certainly got the measure of you.’

‘But it would be irresponsible to start a school and then give up. We have to think about the children we will be letting down.’

‘I’ve thought of that, Kitty. We can put in some years, as much as we want to, then pass the baton to someone else.’

‘But to whom?’

Dusty touched his nose, with a wink and a sly grin. ‘Did you think I would go into such an educational project without covering our retreat? Remember Cash, the friend of my early years. I mean Captain Kapoor. We all called him Cash because he’s got more money than he knows what to do with it.’

‘The friend you were with on that holiday when you saw Sandy and Emma? But I thought you had lost touch with him over these many years.’

‘Not quite. He left the army. Got bored with his career and bought himself out. But we didn’t lose touch completely. A lot of army officers’ wives are into education, and his wife, before marriage, trained as a teacher and taught in Canada. Then he heard about my school project and is not only prepared to make a sizeable donation but will buy us out should we decide to throw in the towel.’

‘Very clever and business-like of you. I wish you wouldn’t keep things from me. I get news about you from others before you decide to tell me. I pretend as if I know. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to retire with the honorary rank of a Colonel?’

‘A Lieutenant Colonel. Well, it’s not something for me to be proud about. Those of my colleagues who use the Army list as their Bible, know I have been passed over many times. The boys who were with me are Commanding Regiments, two are Brigadiers and one a Major General.’

‘And that’s because you twice refused Staff College courses. You could have been right up there with the best of them.’

‘Well, as I said we have much in common. I hate commitment, and I hate throwing one’s weight about.’

‘But you’ve got just the right personality for doing that.’

‘I joined the army because it was the fastest way to be independent and not in debt to anyone. I could’ve climbed the career ladder, but I lacked ambition.’

‘Ambition can take one to places one does not wish to go.’

‘That is so perceptive. It reminds me, somewhere in one of the Gospels, Jesus says that when you were young you walked where you would, but in old age one is led to where one does not wish to go. Tell me if you feel let down by my lack of status?’

‘Good Lord, no! I don’t give a fig. So back to practicalities; my trip to England. All right, Dusty, on this occasion I won’t press you to come. And you must forgive me for being selfish. For wanting to go now when I could go later.’

‘Selfish, why say that, when you’re going with my blessing?’

‘Selfish because I want to go, and as it happens, it will be useful having you here. Dad will be here next week, on a special mission. I want you two to be together.’

‘Yes, I think I know why. There’s an official Government of India letter addressed to Dr T G R Franks, care of Brigadier Chopra.’

‘Daddy knows about that letter. It’s to do with Sandy and Emma. Dad’s unhappy about their grave and their being buried here. He was close to both, especially Emma and has always felt that, for them, England is home. He’s worked long and hard for permission to exhume and cremate and take their ashes back to Winchester.’

‘I know that you too have a problem with their grave. Mohan Singh told me.’

‘I can’t bear to see the grave. Have you…’

‘Yes. I didn’t want to say it till you asked. On three out of the four occasions I’ve been to Fern Cottage, I’ve walked that wild path to the school and the chapel, and laid flowers. It’s been beautifully kept, clean and swept. Besides Mohan, you’ve got Dinesh to thank for that. He left money and instructions for their maintenance.’

‘You could have told me about your visits to the grave.’

‘Well, I couldn’t forget that it was Emma that brought us together.’

 

 

Chapter Seventeen
 

 

‘R
amaswami, the landlord of the school building lives in Conoor. I have paid the deposit. I know the hills well. I’ve been there thrice on holiday. Sam introduced me to the Nilgiri Hills. Swami was astonished by my interest. It was a school in the days of the Raj, but it has been derelict for thirty years. He imagined it would end up a pile of bricks. I told him there was a lot of building work to do, and, honest man that he is, I’ll get it at a bargain price.’

‘Dusty, I’ll leave it all to you. As I’ve had occasion to say before. It’s pointless trying to get you to change your mind. Well I’ve stayed a week longer than I meant to. I was so tempted to go back with Dad. You’ve got a lot to occupy your time and you don’t really need me. I’ll go soon after tea.’

‘I’ve got you all you need from the travel agent. You’ll be travelling in style, Two nights in the train, First Class Air conditioned, one night at the Taj in Bombay, then Air India to London.’

‘Thank you, my sweet. I really don’t deserve you. Kiss me now, oh sorry, I forget. Not in front of the servants.’ She looked at him. He stood looking repentant. ‘Don’t press your luck, Dusty. I’m not always giving in. Next time you’re coming with me.’

‘You won’t be able to telephone, so cable me in any emergency. Tell Ted to be on his guard. You know Agarwal’s not the type to let Dinesh go unpunished. He’s been so lucky. I had my suspicions about the mali. An old family retainer was unlikely to be disloyal. The plan was too good to be true. What callous treachery! To make Dinesh believe he was fleeing into freedom when in fact he was going straight into the arms of Ayub Khan and certain death. Hard to get round that. I bet the Seth was behind it all.’

‘Let’s go in Dusty.’ Kitty said gesturing that it was hot. They went in. She threw herself on the sofa, picked up a fan and fanned herself. ‘And didn’t Munshi fool us?’

‘True. If it wasn’t for Alice’s letter I would never have guessed.’

‘Dinesh distrusted the Munshi more than anyone else in Ram Niwas. Clearly the Munshi loved Dinesh like a son and took his time planning an ingenious getaway. But, Kitty, I’ve worked it out.’

‘I’m certain to get a blow by blow account from Dinesh. But tell me. So that I can tell you how close you’ve got to the truth.’

‘Well, the Munshi hid Dinesh somewhere, from where he could slip away without being seen, and that could only have been via the Munshi’s office. Once out, Dinesh gets into the Seth’s Mercedes and drives off. He’s a brilliant driver. It must have been that way, because I gather the car was found abandoned outside New Delhi airport.’

‘But, Dusty, the car keys? You said the Munshi told you that the poor driver, who was thrashed within an inch of his life, held up the car keys in his defence. It stumped the Seth, and to use your language threw him into a fit of apoplexy.’

‘It must mean the Munshi did some long-term planning. Sorry I said that.’

‘But how, Dusty? Or are you thinking what I’m thinking? Duplicate keys?’

‘Key. Just the one, so Dinesh wouldn’t have to waste time fumbling. But if the Seth works it out as we did, he’ll wring it out of one of the local locksmiths. I wouldn’t want to be in the…unless the Munshi took the precaution of having it made elsewhere.’

‘Poor, sweet, ingenious Munshi! And to think he gave me the creeps.’

‘Courage and kindness doesn’t have to have a charming face.’

‘Don’t be pompous. He gave you the creeps too.’

Dusty laughed. ‘Yes. And all I’ve said so far is guesswork. But if we’re right, the sad thing is, we’ll never know how long the Munshi will keep his secret and what his fate will be when that secret is out. I’ve asked Mohan to keep me informed.’

‘Still, the Munshi will have had his revenge for all his years of slaving for a man he deeply hated. He gave Dinesh a briefcase full of the Seth’s money.’

‘Kitty, please! No tears. This is ridiculous.’

‘It isn’t!’ She rounded on him.

Dusty was taken aback. He stared at her amazed. ‘Kitty, you’ve had a good time. You’ve even stayed on a week longer, and now you see the rapid progress on the house and school buildings.’

‘What are you going to call this place?’

‘What we agreed. The Sam Dustoor Orphanage. Come here, Kitty, look at the plans. We’ve got these two long buildings facing each other. This one, with a veranda running its length, will be the dormitory; and across this courtyard is the schoolroom, with a small office next to it.’

She put an arm round his waist. ‘Forgive me darling. I’m such a bore. You have to be patient with me. I’m erratic, fickle and so unreliable. I feared this would happen. When push comes to shove, I’ll be found wanting.’

‘Where on earth did you pick up that phrase, the last bit. Anyway it’s nonsense and the earlier stuff is not you in the least.’

‘I feel I won’t be up to it.’

‘But you agreed. You were excited about the project. And I haven’t shown you the best part. Our cottage. There, on the slope down from here. On the spur overlooking the whole valley. Four rooms, a veranda and a garden and you can plan it any which way you like. The garden goes way down to the little stream.’

‘It’s no good. I’ve always lacked the will to see things through. I want to teach, but as part of an organised curriculum and staff; where the onus is not on me.’

‘I’m ignoring all that. Now, the dorm is for twenty-five beds only. Twenty-five is to be the maximum intake, for a start, and boys only.’

‘But it’s not a school. It’s a home. Education or rather schooling will be second to lodging, feeding, clothing, and caring.’

‘We won’t be alone supervising the home bit. There’ll be the two women helpers.’

‘I know. You’ve employed one already, while I’ve been away. I’ve seen the way her eyes follow you with undiluted adoration…’

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