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“Great,” I said. I got up and walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator. After sleep, water is our second best friend. Or maybe we have two best friends.

Anyway, once you start to dehydrate, it’s all downhill from there.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter and took a long sip. Lizzie was still talking a mile a minute. “And,” she said,

“they’re going to let me cook and everything. I’ve got my Radiator Ramen Noodles recipe down to a science. If you run the hot water in the dorm bathroom long enough, you barely even need to put the noodles on the radiator. But I’m going to keep that step in because I really like the name.” She paused to take a quick breath, and I heard loud music playing in the background. She sounded great. “And,” she continued, “I even figured out how to make grilled cheese sandwiches with a travel iron.”

“Genius,” I said.

“It works perfectly. Plus, every freshman brings a travel iron to school and, like, who ever does any ironing?”

“Hey,” I said. “I haven’t had the chance to tell you this yet, but I’m working on a beauty kit. An entrepreneur has been giving me advice about it. I even took it to a college fair.”

“Oh, that’s so cool. Can you send me one?”

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll put it right in the mail.” Summer Blowout

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“Thanks. Hey, do you think maybe you could help me make a cooking kit? You know, it might make it easier for me to get a real show when I graduate?”

I weighed an image of Craig and his first former wife both screaming at me at once against a picture of Lizzie and me hanging out together and working on her kit.

“Sure,” I said. “I’d love to.”

“Cool,” she said. “Listen, I have to go. We’re getting ready to go out in a few minutes.”

“Actually,” I said, “I am, too.”

• 20 •

AFTER I HUNG UP WITH LIZZIE, I CHECKED MY VOICE

mail to make sure I hadn’t somehow missed a message from Sean Ryan. Then I called Mario.

“What are you doing up so late?” he asked.

“Hey, it’s Saturday night. I was just getting ready to go out.” Mario laughed. “Okay, seriously. What’s up?”

“When are you and Todd heading to Atlanta?”

“Wednesday. We want to spend some time with Andrew, and we’ve still got a few things to check on for the rehearsal dinner. Why? And when’s your flight?” I sighed. “I was just making conversation. And Friday afternoon.”

“Well, whatever you do, don’t you dare bring that dog with you.”

Mario took a sip of something. I pictured him stretched out on the couch with Todd, both of them sipping a nice red wine, talking about how a week from today their son would be married.

Their shoes kicked off, a fire probably crackling in the fireplace even in August. It was like a goddamn Norman Rockwell painting. I wondered if I’d ever have a shot at a normal life again.

I sighed again.

Mario sighed, too.

“Okay, you first,” I said.

“I can’t stop thinking about Julie. How much fun she’d have with a reception at the Margaret Mitchell House, and how Summer Blowout

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we’d both be doing our Scarlett imitations every time we talked to each other. What her dress would look like. The way I’d do her hair. How much she’d like Amy. How happy she’d be to see Andrew this happy. How much it sucks that she didn’t get to see this.”

Julie was Andrew’s birth mother. She and Mario had been best friends since high school, and until the day she died, our father held out hope that she’d manage to turn Mario straight. She spent a night with a guy when she was in graduate school and ended up pregnant. He never called her again, and she decided to have the baby alone. Mario was her labor coach. She put his name on the birth certificate. Mario met Todd, Julie got cancer when Andrew was four, and Mario and Todd agreed to raise Andrew if she didn’t make it. She didn’t make it.

My eyes teared up. “You really loved her, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Mario said softly.

“Are they going to mention her in the ceremony?”

“I wanted them to, but Andrew said no. He wants Todd and me to get full credit as parents. He hates it when people want to know who his
real
parents are. So we decided Todd and I will just mention her when we give the toast.”

“He’s such a good kid. And I think it’s great that you’re both his best men.”

“Yeah, he really is. Julie would be so proud of him.” I let out a cross between a sigh and a sob.

“Bella? What’s going on?”

“I slept with Craig.”

“No. You didn’t.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“A week before Andrew gets married? What were you thinking?”

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“Gee,” I said. “Talk about the whole world revolving around you. I didn’t exactly take out my calendar and check for conflicts.”

“Does Sophia know? She’s going to be a mess.”

“Sophia?” I said. “Sophia? Why is everything always about Sophia? Listen, just don’t tell anyone except Todd, okay? I’m pretty sure it’ll just blow over. And besides, I’m bringing a date. That’s okay, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” he said. “As long as it’s not Craig.”
BY MORNING I WAS COMPLETELY
over men again. I mean, who needed them. I was going to get control of my own life, set some goals, and start moving forward from there. I got up early and did some crunches.

I put on my latest lipstick, a great OPI red called My Chihuahua Bites. A lot of people don’t realize that OPI makes lipstick to match their more famous nail polish. Yucatan If U

Want, also from the OPI Mexican collection, was a good one, too. Usually I didn’t let myself read the label before I saw the color. I mean, how could you walk away from a lipstick called Who Comes Up with These Names? Even if you don’t look good in caramel. Fortunately, My Chihuahua Bites was a keeper.

I took Cannoli for a walk. I picked up the phone and called the airlines. I’d thought about sneaking Cannoli on in my shoulder bag, but I wasn’t sure what would happen if we got caught. Luckily, the flight hadn’t reached their two-animal per-plane quota, so I made a reservation for her. It was ridiculously expensive, in my opinion, especially since I had to Summer Blowout

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count her as one of my two carry-ons, which didn’t seem fair.

Then I dialed the hotel. “Hotel Indigo, the intelligent and intriguing choice,” a friendly male voice said.

“Are you intelligent enough to be pet friendly?” I asked politely.

“Is the pope Catholic?”

“Did my father tell you to say that?”

“Who’s your father?”

“Never mind.” I gave him my reservation number and Cannoli’s name.

“See y’all soon,” he said. “And it will be our pleasure to host Cannoli at no additional charge.”

I figured this balanced being gouged by the airlines.

“Thanks so much, y’all,” I said. It was nice to know there were still businesspeople with a conscience out there.

After I hung up, I ate a bowl of cereal, because breakfast is the most important meal for beauty, drank a cup of coffee, because I needed it, and took out my kits. I turned one over and over in my hands. I knew there was a basic flaw in my kit design, and I finally put my finger on it. The thing was, a kit needed to function without the kit maker having to be there.

And mine only worked if I was around to match and mix the foundation, and fill out the product recommendations and makeup instructions. Therefore, my kit could only sell if I were physically there to sell it. And consequently, it would never sell in big numbers.

Whew, it was nice to finally isolate a problem I could do something about. But what? What did the guidance counselor’s kit have that allowed it to function while the guidance counselor stayed at school and counseled? It taught kids to write their own essays, instead of writing them for them.

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Although, come to think of it, that slacker guidance counselor should at least offer to check the essays to make sure they were good. Those poor kids could be sending anything off to those colleges.

“Bingo,” I said to Cannoli, who was curled up on the floor, napping in a stream of sunlight. Even though she was sleeping, her tail gave a little wag at the sound of my voice.

While Cannoli slept, I got busy. What if inside each kit there was a postage-paid envelope, plus a questionnaire, as well as instructions to enclose a close-up photo without makeup? Then I could mix the foundation and fill out the diagrams, and also include specific tips for product application and suggestions for products. Maybe I could reach out to some companies for product samples. Maybe I could even charge them for product placement.

Wait. Wait. Who needed snail mail? I could design a Web site, so we could do the whole thing online. Then I could submit listings to some search engines, get the word of mouth going through our salon customers, and even try to get on some of the Boston televisions shows for some extra publicity. I was a lot more charming than half the guests I’d made up for them.

I was so excited I almost pulled a Tom Cruise and started jumping up and down on the furniture. I completely got the whole entrepreneur thing now. The thrill of figuring out a new project was amazing. Maybe even better than sex. At least if you were talking about sex with your ex-husband.

I pushed that thought out of my mind fast. I found some paper and got busy.

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BELL A’S BAG OF BEAUTY BASICS

The Questionnaire

1. Please upload a close-up color photo of you at your worst—no makeup, harsh outdoor lighting. No worries—only Bella and her hardworking team of talented beauty professionals will see it.

2. Fill out the following:

NAME ______________________________________________________________

AGE __________________________________________________________________

ANCESTRY __________________________________________________________

SINGLE OR COUPLED ____________________________________________

3 words to describe your personality

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

3 words to describe your wildest dreams

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Biggest makeup problem

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Best feature

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

3. Find a magnifying mirror and look into the whites of your eyes. Are the lines radiating out from the center yellow? (If so, you have yellow undertones and you are WARM and will use the WARM color chart.) Are these lines gray? (If so, you have pink undertones and you are COOL and will use the COOL color chart.)

4. Click on the appropriate color chart link below (either WARM or COOL). A new page will 154

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open. Print the chart and cut into individual color squares.

In the mirror (preferably the exterior mirror of your car, for best natural light), hold each of the eight colors up to your chin line one at a time. Pick the one that is the closest match and select it onscreen. Beneath your selection, make additional comments that might be helpful, for example—
slightly lighter than this
or
close, but no cigar
, or even
my printer sucks, so I’m just
guessing here
. Also feel free to include the brand and shade of the foundation you’re currently using in the space provided for comments.

5. Eye Color Chart. Check the color that matches your eyes most closely. Again, use the space provided to add your comments.

6. Hair Color Chart. Select the color that matches your hair most closely. (Not your natural color, should you happen to remember it, but your CURRENT hair color. If you know the product name and shade, please include it in the comment area.)

7. Vibe. Choose the celebrity whose style reminds you most of your own. Diane Keaton, Britney Spears, Melissa Etheridge, Olympia Dukakis, Joy Behar, Madonna, Nancy Pelosi, Gloria Steinem, Lindsay Lo-han, Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Crow, Beyoncé Knowles, Courtney Love, Heather Mills, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston, Whitney Houston, Angelina Jolie, Diane Sawyer, Robin Roberts, Ann Curry, Meredith Vieira, Kirstie Alley, Hillary Clinton, Shakira.