Independent Brake (The Dominion Falls Series) (18 page)

“It didn’t do nothin’ bad to Betsy and me.”

“True, but I’m not Betsy. You’ve known that all along. Please, can’t we just enjoy each other and be together? Why must we make this into a marriage? It could ruin everything if we did.”

“Or make it better.”

“I say we leave the subject for now. Revisit in in six months time. Please, don’t push me.” Kat paused in her tracks and turned to face him. “I have grown to care for you a great deal, and I don’t wish to lose that. Can you accept that I don’t wish for marriage?”

Norman grumbled and shrugged. “I s’pose.”

Kat kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Norman.”

“Oh, stop that.” He brushed at his cheek before he offered his arm again. “Makin’ me look a fool, ya are.”

“But I’m also keeping you quite happy.” She started with him toward Turner’s again. “Contentedness isn’t something to just shrug off. I rather enjoy it. I think, despite your protests, you do as well.”

“Ya might be right.”

“Of course I am. Allow yourself to be happy, Norman. You never know how long that will last.”

* * * *

K
at knocked on the clinic door, entering when Caroline beckoned her in.

Caroline kept working on the papers in front of her. “Good morning, Kat. I wasn’t expecting you, did we have plans to dine again?”

“No.” Kat sat in the seat across from the doctor, for once relieved that the town still wanted little to do with a woman doctor. At least she had the privacy for the conversation. “I actually hoped you might have time to see me. In a medical sense.”

“What?” Caroline closed her folder and met Kat’s gaze. “I just did an exam four months ago.”

“I’m aware. I have an issue, though.” Kat chewed her lip and stared at her hands. “At first I thought I was just eating too much of Cora’s delicious food and not doing enough actual work. My pantaloons were just a bit tight, and nothing else unusual was occurring.”

“And now?”

“I realized I missed my monthly a few weeks back, and the one before that was—unusual.”

“Unusual?”

“I wasn’t afflicted as long as usual, in fact it was barely a day in length. I didn’t pay it much mind at first.”

“I know you’re cautious in your activities. You still come to me for your protective measures, and Cole keeps his own.” Caroline rose and gestured to the back.

“And we both used them faithfully. With Norman, I do as well.” Kat rose to follow the doctor to an exam room. “That’s why I paid it little mind at first. It wasn’t until I realized I was coming up on a full month being with Norman that I even managed to think about it deeper.”

“We’ll see what is going on, perhaps your concern is unfounded.”

“Perhaps.” Kat prepped for her exam in silence, and she was glad Caroline didn’t push the matter. If this were true, she couldn’t remain in Dominion Falls now. Cole wouldn’t lay claim to a child and Norman...

Kat closed her eyes to ward off the rising worry of Norman’s reaction. If she were honest with herself, she had begun to fall in love with Norman. Even Patrick, as far away as he was, knew it. She couldn’t deny it, but she also couldn’t disrupt his life with a child that wasn’t his.

Only thing it would do was upset him, and worse, make him more convinced they needed to marry.

“Katherine,” Caroline said quietly, setting her hand on Kat’s knee. “I hate to confirm your worries, but you are with child.”

Kat let out a long, deep breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Oh dear.”

“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll talk in my office.”

“No. I mean, yes I’ll get dressed, but I need to think on this for a while. Sorry, Caroline. I need to be alone with my thoughts.”

“All right. If you need anything at all, please let me know.” Caroline squeezed Kat’s shoulder and slipped from the room.

Once dressed, Kat sat on the exam table and tried to collect her thoughts. She was going to have a child. Part of her was over the moon at the thought of having a baby of her own. Without plans for marriage, this was rather serendipitous; even if the timing couldn’t have been worse.

Kat slid off the table and left the clinic by the back door. A nice long walk was her best bet. Anything to get her thoughts in agreement with her heart.

The last thing she wanted to do was leave Norman; she’d just managed to admit her feelings. However, she would have a child.

She set her hand over her abdomen and smiled. “A child.”

There was no telling how long it would be until she had no choice but to leave. Until then, should she linger or leave before it became too painful not to?

With all the questions swirling in her head, the only one she didn’t have was whether she would raise the child or not. Without a doubt, she would have this child and raise it, and she didn’t need to be married to do so.

However, she couldn’t do so alone.

Her biggest concern now was how to tell Patrick. Clearly, she couldn’t send a telegraph. If she’d learned the procedure properly she’d be able to do so herself, but Norman was still teaching her.

Oh, Norman. Kat sank to sit on a stump in the meadow outside of town. How could she leave the life she’d just become accustomed to? How could she leave Norman? If she was fully honest, she wasn’t just beginning to love him, she already did. That didn’t mean she was any more willing to get married.

Perhaps she didn’t have to leave him completely. Once the child was born, she could return for visits. Until then, Patrick had a telegraph in his house. Communication wouldn’t be impossible.

The thought of leaving Dominion Falls again broke her heart, but she knew what she had to do.

* * * *

N
orman’s relaxed demeanor had faded into harsh lines and a clenched fist. He worked his thumb in and out of his fist, staring at the tabletop between them. “Ya can’t be serious. Ya said ya were stayin’.”

“I said I was considering it.” Kat reached over to set her hand on his. The tea she’d poured for them had gone cold in his lengthy silence. “If anything could have made me stay, it would be you.”

“Then stay.”

“I wish I could. This is an opportunity I can’t let pass, though.” As luck would have it, Patrick’s next wire to her included a message from Pearl. The suffrage league was growing and had requested her presence. “If I can make a difference, I must.”

“Ain’t nothin’ gonna change.” He pulled his hand away.

“But maybe it will. I must try. Plus, I’ll be able to visit. This isn’t like your work here. Once I’m established again, I’ll be able to visit.”

“Visit. Hmph.” He folded his arms across his chest. “That ain’t what I wanted.”

“Oh, Norman. Are you going to say it again?”

“I thought with time, maybe...”

“Time won’t change my opinions on marriage any more than distance will change my feelings for you. I’ll be back. Often as I can.”

“If you’re goin’, just go. I ain’t gonna play no games.”

“Sure. When the games are yours toward the purpose of marriage, they’re just fine. When they’re mine toward the purpose of spending time with the man who has come to mean much to me, heaven forbid.” She rose. “I don’t leave for three days. I do hope that you’ll soften your opinions before then.”

His jaw worked back and forth, and he kept his arms clasped against him. Not once did his hard gaze waver from the cold tea in front of him.

She set her hand on his shoulder and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “I’m truly sorry. This is something I must do. One day, I will return to Dominion Falls and stay. The timing just wasn’t right this time around.”

When he didn’t speak, she left the telegraph office by the back door. Her heart was heavy and her feet dragged along the dirt road. Much as she knew what she needed to do, the execution of that act was far more painful in reality.

At the very least, she knew her secret would be safe. Caroline wouldn’t tell, as Kat’s doctor she couldn’t, but she also understood why Kat didn’t want Cole to know. She was a passing fancy, a fun diversion, but Cole didn’t do family. The same way Kat herself didn’t do marriage.

“What a tangled web,” she muttered. In the two weeks since she’d learned of her situation, Kat had been delaying the inevitable as long as she could. The time had come to leave, and so she’d managed to procure a ticket on the next stage, which was when she knew she’d have to tell Norman, rather than let him see it on the passenger manifest.

Cora’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Kat. These were dropped off for you.”

Kat grabbed the paper wrapped parcels with a whispered thank you.

“Are you all right?” Cora stepped closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m fine. I just let Norman know I’ll be leaving on the next stage. An opportunity has come up that I must act on.” Kat sighed and clutched the packages close. “I’m afraid he didn’t take it well.”

“I imagine he didn’t. This is awful sudden. Are you sure you can’t stay?”

“I’m quite certain. Believe me, I wish I could, but this is something I must do.”

“You’ll be missed.”

“And I’ll miss Dominion Falls.” Once again she was leaving because of forces out of her control. Perhaps one day those forces would bring her back. She returned Cora’s half-hug before disentangling herself and darting up the stairs.

The packages turned out to be the pants she’d had tailored, but she didn’t have the heart to try them on. Instead, she set them in her trunk.

She sat on her bed with a sigh and looked out the small window over the town. “I’m sorry, Norman. The truth would be harder to take. One day, maybe, it’ll be time to tell. One day, maybe, I’ll come back for good.”

* * * *

T
he journey had been long and exhausting. Every inch of Kat’s body ached, and she only wanted to crawl into the soft bed she knew would be waiting on her. Unfortunately, one thing impeded her path to that bed.

Or rather, one person.

She hadn’t dared to message ahead that she was leaving, although she suspected Norman might have said something to cease the influx of telegrams. Of course, she wouldn’t know, because Norman hadn’t softened one iota in the time she’d been in Dominion Falls. There’d been no loving farewell, no more requests to stay. The stubborn man would hold onto his grudge until heaven knew when.

“For at least a year, until I can safely travel again. Right, little one?” She set her hand on her belly and fought off a yawn as the carriage slowed to a stop. When the driver opened the door, she accepted his help out of the carriage, but didn’t wait for him to get her bags before rushing up the walk to the door.

Much to her surprise Patrick opened the door before she’d even knocked. He lifted a brow high enough to disappear under his currently unruly hair. “There you are. You had me worried.”

“Patrick. I was hoping—perhaps I might stay here a while.”

“You’re always welcome, your room is prepared for you, but you know I must ask why. What happened? You were happy, and dare I say, in love?”

“You could dare, but as it didn’t end well I’d rather you didn’t.” She accepted his help inside, and offered a wave to the butler, Loren as he passed to handle her bags. On the way to the parlor, she said little, but once she was seated the words spilled out. “I’m with child. No, it’s not Norman’s, it’s Cole’s.”

“Oh, he wouldn’t care for that.”

“No, he wouldn’t. Norman wouldn’t, either. He’d say he’s too old to raise a child. He’d certainly not care for the fact that my child is Cole’s. I have to say, Pearl’s message came at just the right time.”

Patrick sighed and set his hand on hers. “Are you all right?”

“I don’t know. The way Norman and I parted, I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me.”

“He’s the one that told me you’d left and when to expect you.” He offered a weak smile. “He’s also the one that has been concerned that you didn’t arrive sooner.”

“My train was delayed. Another up the line had trouble we had to wait on. It caused us to be sitting there a full extra day.” She felt a flutter of hope bloom in her chest. “He was worried?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose there’s hope, then.”

“There always is. Now, what are we going to do about this child?”

“What do you expect we’re going to do? I’m going to raise it, it is my child. I imagine Uncle Patrick is going to be spoiling the thing until it is rotten.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“I do enjoy the sound of that. Uncle Patrick.” He grinned. “Come. We’ll have Loren move your things to the room next to mine. It has an adjoining bedroom you can use for the baby. Oh, and we’ll have to start looking for a governess now.”

“I don’t require a governess.”

“Of course you don’t; it’s for the child.”

“You are going to spoil him.”

“Or her. And yes, I am.”

––––––––

F
ive years later again, and Kat had returned to Dominion Falls for another visit. After Cindy had been born, she’d come back at least twice a year to visit. This time, something was different.

Even Patrick, as cool and collected as he usually was, had reservations about her departure this time. At the train station he’d held Cindy’s hand and tried to convince Kat to stay. He had told her something this time made him think she wouldn’t come back, except to get Cindy.

It was ridiculous, of course. Nothing had changed. She still didn’t want to get married, and the longer she stayed in Dominion Falls on each visit, the more Norman talked about her staying on and marriage all over again.

From her first return visit, Norman had been too happy to see her to remain upset with her. She’d been just as happy to see him. Every return visit was a treasure, but they all only lasted a month—six weeks at most—she had a daughter to return to, after all.

The only thing distinctly different this visit was the buzz around town about some woman that had taken up with Cole, much as Kat had done years ago. Norman had regaled Kat with stories of the woman’s amnesia and the mystery around her. Of course, the buckets of scandal the woman had managed to cause had the old biddy’s buzzing with all the gossip. Truth be told, the woman sounded right up Kat’s alley.