Indiscretions (5 page)

“Where did you grow up, Sean?” Khendra had asked between tiny bites of the succulent steak and sips of Coke.

“Most of my life I lived in New York, in Harlem actually.”

“Really? Where?”

“Right on 135th Street and Lenox Avenue.”

“You were certainly in the heart of it.”

“You can say that again. Most of the guys I grew up with didn't make it out of there. I guess I was lucky.”

“What happened to your friends?”

Sean took a bite of his braised chicken before he spoke. “Most of them were either killed, or jailed, or strung out by the time I was in my teens.” His eyes held a faraway look as spoke. “I guess that's when I first became interested in law. There seemed to me no way to beat the system, so I felt the only way I could do any good was to become a part of it. And maybe, somehow, find a way to change it. I saw many young brothers and sisters become victims. When I first started out, I believed the way to fight all of the injustices was as a legal aid, helping those who couldn't afford to get outside legal help.”

“Well, you're a long way from that idea,” Khendra remarked, somewhat perplexed by his present course in law.

Sean smiled. “It was either that or starve. I guess I became somewhat jaded as well. When you see so much destruction going on around you every day, you tend to lose your perspective. But eventually, I intend to open my own law firm, specifically for the poor. That's one of the main reasons I came here.”

“I don't understand.”

“Money. Plain and simple. This position can provide me with the financial security and mobility I'll need to get on my own.”

“What are the other reasons?” Khendra asked, her interest piqued.

It was too soon to open himself up to her completely, Sean thought. He didn't want to scare her away. How she felt about him became suddenly important. “I'd rather not talk about it right now, if you don't mind,” he said softly. “Maybe some other time.”

“All right,” she said, secretly pleased. At least he had said “some other time,” and the thought of another evening with Sean made her feel warm and excited inside.

They talked of inconsequential things then—music, their favorite movies, places they had been and things they had seen—the friction of their earlier meeting temporarily forgotten. The flickering flame from the warm candles seemed to accent the mood, and complement the rise of the complex feelings they were both experiencing.

As the band started a rendition of Grover Washington Jr.'s “Mr. Magic,” Sean reached for her hand. “That's my man,” he said, tapping his foot to the pulsing beat. And before Khendra knew what was happening, he had pulled her out of her seat and swept her onto the dance floor.

He held her close, gliding her effortlessly across the smooth wooden floor with the grace of a polished dancer as he hummed in perfect tune to the music. Khendra felt his every muscle as they pressed against her. Inch by inch, she felt her insides ignite with sensations she didn't know still existed within her. She suddenly felt safe and secure his arms. His heady scent and the comforting warmth of him held her enthralled. She forgot to be wary and let herself be swept away in his embrace.

When the song ended, he held onto her for a second too long, looking into her eyes as if seeing her for the first time. Her heart stood still—waiting. Then he looked away, and the spell was broken. He took her hand in his and escorted her back to their table.

He was a maze of conflicts, Khendra realized as she took her seat and forced her legs to stop trembling. One moment he seemed like the international gigolo, the next, one of the most considerate and gentle men she had ever met. She was totally confused. She so wanted to find something to hold against him, to help her ward off the throbbing impulses he created within her. But she no longer could, and the split second of irrefutability quickened her pulse. Oh Lordy, she didn't want to be a victim again. Not again.

“So tell me about you,” Sean said, breaking into her thoughts. “You've heard my boring life story.” He gave her an encouraging smile.

“There's not much to tell, really.” She averted her eyes, keeping them focused on the glass in her hands.

“I'm sure you've had an interesting life. What about school, family, old boyfriends?” He took a sip of mineral water and waited.

“Well, I was a recluse in school. I guess these days, I could be considered a nerd.” She laughed nervously.

“I can't imagine you being anything but extraordinary,” he said softly, the look in his eyes making her stomach do flips.

She shrugged and gave a half smile. “My only real friend was, and still is, Charisse. As for my family,” she hesitated, then sighed deeply, “they're good people, basically. They just never really believed in me.”

This was a concept that Sean could not comprehend. Although he was from a poor family, with a mother who raised three boys alone, she always believed and told him he could do anything he set his mind to. And he never for a second believed differently.

“Why? How on earth could your parents not believe in you?”

“They thought I should be a schoolteacher or a nurse. My choice of careers was always the topic of heated discussions at the dinner table.” She gave a wry smile at the recollection. “They just felt that it was a male profession and I had no business sticking my nose in it.”

“Well, I'm glad you did.” Then he added gently, placing his hand on hers. “Otherwise, I may have never met you.” His voice and eyes held her captive for just a heartbeat before she broke the tenuous connection.

“As for old boyfriends—” a tight knot formed in stomach—“they were few and far between. And on that note, I'd say, let's get the check. It's getting late.”

Sean raised his hand to catch the waitress' attention, but his eyes never left Khendra's face. There was a haunted, lonely look hovering in her eyes. A pain that was just beginning to heal. What had happened to her to suppress the vibrancy he knew she had within? What had made her so cautious and leery? Hurt was an emotion he was familiar with, and he had learned how to tackle it and become the victor. If she'd only give him a chance, he could teach her to forget.

“Ready?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts.

“I'm with the driver,” he answered with a smile. When they returned to the garage, the rain had slackened somewhat, but rolls of thunder still punctuated the heavens. The air remained heavy with moisture and foreboding. Khendra pulled her car up next to Sean's.

“I guess this is my stop,” Sean said halfheartedly. He turned to her. She froze, gripping the steering wheel with all of her strength. She wouldn't look at him. The safe ambiguity and momentary fantasy of the restaurant was gone. She no longer had the security of a public place. Now was she and him—alone. Suddenly, she wished that he would leave—now. The evening was over, wasn't it?

“Was our dinner as bad as you thought it would be?” he asked gently.

She suddenly felt overheated. “Bad? No…it was really nice. I had a great time.”
Oh, please get out.
Her stomach lurched and twisted into a tiny ball.

“Maybe we could do it again…like Friday night.” He turned toward her, but she stared straight ahead.

“I don't think that's such a good idea.” She scrambled for a reason. “I…I don't make a habit of going out with members of the firm,” she added quickly.

“I think it would be a great idea,” he said, his smooth voice working its way through her nervous system. “Every rule has an exception, Khendra, even your rules.”

She whipped her head toward him, ready to snap out a hasty reply, but was stopped cold by the depth of intensity that burned in his ebony eyes. She couldn't breathe.

“Good night,” he said softly. He leaned forward and gently brushed a kiss across her forehead.

The slight tickle of his mustache sent shivers down her spine. But before she could take her next breath, he was out of her car and moving behind the wheel of his own. She heard the rev of the engine and saw the headlights blaze the concrete. Not once did she move. Never once did he look back. The spot he had kissed still burned like fire even as she turned to watch the taillights of his car disappear down the tunnel.

As she looked out onto the city from her terrace, humid air blew caressingly through Khendra's thin, pink nightgown. A single drop of perspiration threaded way down between her breasts, a poignant reminder of how lonely she was and how much she'd truly loved the feel of a caring hand to wipe that drop away.

With that thought, a vision of Sean bloomed before her eyes, and she felt a slow, steady warming start in the pit of her stomach and radiate downward to her center. She tried to imagine the feel of his powerful hands stroking hidden places, the feel of his lips against her own. She breathed in deeply the fragrant, rain-washed air and shook her head to clear the vision.

CHAPTER FOUR

For the next three days, Khendra made it a point to stay far away from Sean Michaels as she could. Her workload made it easy. Every working hour was spent in the courtroom. The only time she saw him since their evening together was at the daily morning briefings or when they passed in the corridors. He was pleasant, but cool, almost as if nothing had transpired between them. It was fine with her, she convinced herself. He had almost entered that hidden place she had closed off, and she couldn't let that happen—even though his dreamy voice and carefree laughter floated to her ears and rushed through her veins when she least expected it. But she would put Sean Michaels out of her mind, if it was the last thing she did. Early Friday morning, as she hovered over her desk preparing her closing argument, she received an unannounced visit. The light knock on her office door broke into her concentration.

“I see you're busy, as usual.” Her head snapped up at the interruption to see Alex framed in the doorway. She had wrestled with the offer he'd made for the past three days, and after much cajoling from Charisse, she'd made her decision.

“Please come in, Mr. Counts,” she said smoothly. “I was completing my closing statement for this afternoon.” He strolled into the office and stubbed out a cigarette in the never-used ashtray sitting on her credenza. Khendra instinctively turned up her nose.

“Have you come to a decision?” he asked, cutting through any small talk.

“Yes, I have.” She slipped off her glasses and placed them and her gold pen down on the cluttered desk. “I've decided to accept—if the offer is still open.”

A pleased smile spread across Alex's face. “A very wise decision. You won't regret it. I hope,” he added, his look cutting right through her, “I won't regret it either. I'm putting a lot on the line for you.” His voice dropped an octave. “I'm sure you'll show your appreciation.”

A wave of apprehension flooded through her.

She rose from her seat and looked at him without flinching a muscle, her voice firm and decisive. “I'm an attorney, first and foremost, Mr. Counts. You hired me to do a job, and I intend to do it. I hope that answers any questions you may have.”

A chuckle rose from his throat. “But you're also a woman, Khendra. A very ambitious, intelligent and beautiful woman. Don't forget that when you're winding your way to the top.” With that, he turned and walked out of the office.

Khendra braced her palms against the desk and lowered her head. The only sound in the office was her rapid breathing. She slammed the desk drawer shut and paced the room. This time the insinuation was clear. He expected more from her than just a hard day's work in payment for getting her a partnership with the firm. She had hoped she was wrong, but it was obvious now she wasn't.

She rubbed her forehead as if to erase the troubled thoughts that tramped through her brain. She had to find a way to combat him without losing her very precarious position. She needed time to think, but now wasn't the time, with less than two hours left to complete her statement before the afternoon session began. A man's future rested in her hands. Her strategy for handling Alex Counts would have to wait.