Indulging in Irene (5 page)

Irelyn kissed me with a desperation the likes of which I'd never experienced before —like she’d been waiting her entire life to kiss me. Her tongue danced and teased mine as she opened herself to me. I gave myself over to her, kissing her with as much desperation as I felt from her.

I pulled her body to mine, pushing my hard cock against her, wanting her to know how much I wanted her. She moaned at the contact, and kissed me harder, driving her fingers into my hair.

Breaking the kiss, I pulled away. “Irelyn,” I said, breathlessly. “Stay with me tonight. Let me take you to bed.”

She closed her eyes and stepped back from me. Disappointment fell over her face, and she shook her head.

“I can’t,” she said with a sad exhale. “Maybe I should just go home. I’m sure the roads are fine.”

“No. I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this.” I tried to keep the confusion and slight hurt out of my voice.

“I do want this. Fuck, I just can’t.” Her voice shook, and I wasn’t sure if she was about to cry.

Her eyes began to fill with tears, and I began to feel like a shithead.

Fuck. I bet she was a virgin.

It never dawned on me that this beautiful woman might still be holding on to her V card.

“Are you a virgin?” I asked, my voice sounding more horrified than shocked.

Irelyn burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she did cry. Then, her infectious laughter drew out my own.

“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes. “No, I’m not a virgin.”

When her laughter faded, I realized it wasn’t a mirthful laugh but one of resignation to something you couldn't change.

“What’s going on, Irelyn? You feel stuck, don’t you?” I don’t know why I asked that, but something inside of me seemed to know. I wanted to help her if I could, but I had a sneaking suspicion helping her would put me in a very difficult position.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. One day, I won’t be stuck. One day very, very soon.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Thanks, Zolt. I think I’d like to go to bed.”

“Okay. Are you sure you’re all right?” I knew what it was like to feel resigned to a future you hated. I didn’t want that for her. The fact that I cared sent warning bells ringing in my head. My sixth sense told me something big and bad lurked around her. I’d always had this kind of sixth sense. Had it the day I went onto the football field for the last time. The difference now was that I had learned to pay attention.

“I’m sure. Could I borrow a T-shirt? This top won’t be very comfy to sleep in,” she said, forcing a smile to her face.

“Absolutely. I’ll show you to the guest room, and then I’ll bring you a shirt.”

Irelyn grabbed my hand and brought it to her cheek. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. “I really want things to be different.”

I pulled her to me and held her. Stroking her head, I said, “Make them different.”

She wrapped her arms around my waist and snuggled into my chest.

I thought I had fucking died and gone to heaven. Having her in my arms felt right—too right.

“It’s not that easy.”

I sighed in understanding.

Damn, she fit perfectly under my chin. I closed my eyes and rested my head on hers, breathing her in. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the Zolt I was used to. But then, this wasn’t just any woman. This was my seraph, my savior who’d gotten me through the worst time of my life. The woman whose angelic and soulful gaze kept me from falling off the deep end the day my life changed forever. Whose face still pulled me from the nightmares.

Irelyn was real and in my arms, and I couldn’t ignore that. Though I knew I shouldn’t, I decided then that I’d do anything to have her in my life and in my bed.

That I even considered any of this scared the shit out of me, and I wasn’t sure I could do the relationship thing, assuming that was even a possibility. But letting this pass wasn’t an option either.

I smiled when I came out of the bathroom and found an Arizona Cardinals T-shirt on the four-poster, maple bed. Picking it up, I unfolded it and turned it over. The back read Hamil with a white number seventeen.

My smile grew bigger as I ran my fingers over the number. If I wasn’t sleeping in his bed tonight, at least I was sleeping in his shirt. For now, that would have to do.

For now.

I peeled off my clothes, slipped into the shirt, and climbed into bed. With my eyes closed, I let the events of the night replay. This was fucking insane. Crazy. Instead of being in Zolt Hamil’s bed, where I knew he wanted me, and where I wanted to be, I was in his spare bedroom. Why? Because I was stuck with my stupid boyfriend, Marcus. That was why.

God, the way Zolt kissed me. I touched my lips, now a little swollen. I’d never been kissed like that before. Marcus didn’t believe in kissing, and there was no passion between us. With Zolt, I’d felt beautiful and desired. I wanted that. Hell, I deserved that.

I opened my eyes and glanced at the closed door. All I had to do was slip out of bed and go to his bedroom; tell him I changed my mind.

Have I changed my mind?

As much as I wanted to answer that question yes, I couldn’t. My situation hadn’t magically changed in the past hour. Marcus and I were still together, and he and Daddy still had their weird bond. Until that changed, until I found the guts to break up with Marcus, Zolt and I couldn’t have anything else. It wouldn’t be fair to him.

If I was honest, Marcus scared me. There was something dark within him. Every once in a while it would surface in his tone of voice or in a cold glint in his eyes. Sometimes, I wondered if Chris ever felt it. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about this relationship, although, he’d never warned me away from him, but then he probably never dreamed I’d end up with him.

Thoughts of Chris turned into thoughts of his death, and I had to shove the last images I had of him out of my mind. I wished there was closure, that the questions I had could be answered. I didn’t believe for one minute that his death had been a random act of violence. Grandpa’s ranch was miles away from Scottsdale on a secluded plot of land. Why would someone purposely go out there to rob it? It made no sense. The brutality of the attack felt personal to me. Though I couldn’t confirm it, more and more, my instincts told me Marcus knew something he wasn’t telling me.

It made me want out all the more. Now with Zolt, I felt it more keenly.

I wish Zolt and I would talk about that day on the field, but I understood why he didn’t want to. The flash of pain in his eyes had told me he hadn’t fully come to terms with what had happened. Obviously, he had moved on, but some wounds don’t heal completely. I wanted to help him if I could. Maybe the best way for me to do that was to stay away. If only the connection between us wasn’t so painfully strong.

I had to laugh when he asked me if I was a virgin. It was too funny because, really, I might as well be. Marcus barely touched me. We never participated in foreplay, and he hadn’t once gone down on me.

I swung my legs out from the covers and put my feet on the floor. Was it so bad to want to be with Zolt? To allow myself to do what I wanted for a change instead of worrying about what Marcus and Daddy wanted? If environmental law wasn’t so hot right now, Daddy would have made me change my degree. Because zoology had an emphasis on biology, he’d
allowed
me to pursue it.

Fuck that!

I closed my eyes and gripped the edge of the bed. Zolt was less than thirty feet from me. I frowned and scrubbed my hands over my face. If I went to him now, it would be for the wrong reasons. It would be in defiance of what I couldn’t change. I wanted more than that. Whatever would happen between Zolt and me, if anything, I wanted it to be because we both were in the right place, at the right time. If I couldn’t give all of myself to Zolt, I wouldn’t give any.

Frustrated, I picked up my handbag, dug around, and found my phone. Rachel was probably at Cory’s house and wouldn’t text back, but I had to try.

Me: Rach, you there?

Rach: Hey, girl, what up?

Me: If I told you I was sleeping over at Zolt Hamil’s house would you freak?

Rach: Holy Mother Fucker! Are you fucking kidding me?

Me: Nope.

Rach: Wait, the fact that you’re texting me isn’t a good sign. Spill.

I quickly recapped the evening, leaving nothing out.

Rach: Irelyn, screw Marcus, that dickless asshole. You’re in Zolt’s house. Go fuck him already. Don’t text me again until you have.

Me: Ok.

Rach: You’re going to?

Me: No.

Rach: Bitch, you’re hopeless. Night. Call me tomorrow.

Me: Night.

I sighed and put my phone on silent, and crawled back under the covers. Too wound up to sleep, I tossed and turned. I couldn’t get the memory of Zolt kissing me out of my mind, nor the feel of his hands on my body and the sound of his voice as he asked me to spend the night.

And now I was squirming. Great.

Tentatively, I slid my hand down the T-shirt, wishing the hand skimming my body was Zolt’s. At my panties, I let my hand slip inside in search of the spot that needed the attention the most. While I’d rather share this orgasm with Zolt, that simply couldn’t happen. But, hey, a release was a release. And I needed one if I was going to sleep.

With no preamble, I dove in. The entire night had me on edge, and I knew I would come fast. After a few circular motions with my fingertips on my clit, I was biting my lip, mentally crying out Zolt’s name.

Ha,
I thought.
That was fast.

As I fell asleep, I wondered if Zolt had done the same thing.

I woke from a dead sleep to the sound of someone screaming in pain. Sitting up, I tried to get my bearings and figure out where the hell I was.

Zolt! Holy shit that was his voice ripping through the early morning.

Fuck!

I scrambled from the bed and ran into his room, not bothering to knock.

Zolt sat naked in the middle of his large, black canopy bed, clutching his leg. He looked up at me with wild eyes, and I was unsure whether he recognized me or not.

Slowly, I walked to the bed in the shadowy, morning light. “Zolt,” I said in a soft, calm voice. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer with words, but his crystalline-blue stare said everything I needed to know.

I recognized that look. It was the same as that day. The same one that had haunted me for six years.

I couldn’t help him then, but I could now.

“Zolt, it’s okay. You’re okay,” I said in a tone I hoped comforted him.

He kept his gaze trained on me, watching me with cautious eyes. The pain in them made me bite my lip to stop from crying.

Carefully, I sat on the bed and placed my hand over the hand that still held his leg. In the dim light, I could see his scars. They were bad though not terrible. To me, they were his warrior’s battle scars.

Zolt flinched at the contact, and then stilled when my hand didn’t move. We sat there for a few minutes just listening to each other breath. It didn’t take long before we were breathing in time with each other.

When he seemed more at ease, I climbed on the bed. His eyes watched my every move. I wanted to kiss his scars, let him know I wasn’t turned off by them. I could sense he didn’t want that, so I finished my journey up the bed.

When I was eye to eye with him, I put my hand on his face. His body trembled, and I saw his gaze dart to the table by the bed.

I followed its path, noticing the bong. “Getting high helps?”

He nodded, but didn’t speak.

“This happens every night, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” he finally said in a rough voice. “Every morning.”

“I’m so sorry, baby.” I brushed by his damp hair from his forehead and caressed his cheek.

He closed his eyes and laid down, his hand leaving his leg.

“I want to help you. Will you let me?”

Zolt nodded again, and I softly kissed his lips, continuing my way down his glorious body. His body may not be in NFL condition anymore, but fuck was he in shape. Lean muscle defined him, making him wonderfully male in all the ways that counted. His abs were sculpted into a sexy, yet not overly worked, eight-pack. He was perfectly tanned all over, and I had to wonder if he laid out nude. There wasn’t a line anywhere on his body.

Zolt was hot, and kissing my way down his body made me hot. My panties were moist, and I knew by the time I was done, they’d be soaked. But this wasn’t about me. This was about him. I may have not been able to help him that day on the field, but today, I could. I would take his pain and replace it with pleasure.

I continued licking and kissing my way down his body. I teased his nipples until he moaned, and I smiled. A different kind of tenseness road over his body.

I hoped this worked for him because it sure was for me. His hard cock told me I was on the right path.

With a firm grasp, I wrapped my hands around his shaft, making Zolt hiss in pleasure.

“Oh, fuck!”

Fuck was right. Zolt was big; at least I thought so. Bigger than Marcus anyway.

I positioned myself at his hips and curled my feet under me, praying I’d be able to do this well. Pushing my hair aside, I brought my lips to the head of his cock. My eyes locked on his as I licked it, circling with my tongue in long, slow motions.

“Fuck!” he said again in a long exhalation.

Smiling, I sucked and licked more, taking him as deep as possible. To my surprise, I was able to take him in completely. I read Cosmo. I knew a trick or two.

I focused my mouth on the head of his cock and gripped his shaft with both hands. Together, my mouth and hands worked in unison in a pump-and-swirl combo that I could tell was driving him wild. It didn’t take long before he gasped with pleasure.

“Irelyn, fuck, I’m going to come,” he grunted, grabbing a fistful of my hair.

I took him in deeper, letting him know I could take it.

A minute later, he came hard, and I swallowed hard.

First time for everything
, I thought. Marcus didn’t get this kind of attention from me. He didn’t deserve it.

Zolt, however, was different. I wanted to give him this. Wanted him to have pleasure instead of pain. Really, it wasn’t as gross as I thought it would be. Nonetheless, I glanced longingly at the bottle of water next to Zolt’s bong, thinking a drink would taste mighty fine.

“Irelyn, come here.” Zolt’s eyes trailed over my body. I knew what he wanted. And as much as I wanted to give it to him, I couldn’t. Even so, I went and laid on my side next to him.

“Water?” he asked.

“Please.” I took a long pull and handed it back. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you for making me feel better. Please, let me return the favor.”

Before I could discourage him, he was on me, kissing me. And, oh, God, he was hard again.

Zolt kissed me thoroughly, and ever so slowly, while he ran his hand up my leg, stopping at my wet panties.

“Oh, baby, you’re soaked,” he said, rubbing between my legs.

I flinched when Zolt palmed my clit through my panties as guilt invaded me.

Screw guilt! I want this.

“You liked sucking my cock, didn’t you?” He plunged his tongue in my mouth before I could answer, ravaging me with a hunger I’d never experienced before, like he couldn’t get enough of me.

“Last night, you said no. Is the answer still no, Irelyn?” Zolt’s heated gaze stared right through me. He wanted me, and I wanted him so badly it physically hurt. I knew I couldn’t. Fear of Marcus had me nodding, telling Zolt no when I wanted to say yes.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on mine. “Please, let me go down on you. Let me show you as much pleasure as you’ve shown me.”

I squirmed and heard myself saying yes. A mistake, maybe, but I wanted this. If I wasn’t going to fuck him, I was at least going to let him go down on me. After all, according to Bill Clinton, oral sex wasn’t sex. So technically, I wasn’t cheating on Marcus. That I cared seriously pissed me off.

Zolt kissed the ever-loving shit out of me, and I forgot all about Marcus. He pulled my panties down, and I whimpered when he coaxed my legs apart and slid two fingers inside of me.

I played a dangerous game, one that would have me changing my mind.

“Oh, Irelyn, you feel so fucking good. Christ, you’re so tight and wet. One day, you’re going to let me fuck you.” He twisted his fingers, making me cry out.

“Yes, Zolt. Yes.” The man had the most talented fingers I’d ever known. If he could make me almost come with just this, what would he do with his cock?

With a wicked grin, he removed his fingers, put them in his mouth and sucked. “You taste sweet. Oh, baby, I’m going to enjoy this, and so are you.”

I closed my eyes and opened myself to him as Zolt positioned himself between my legs. My heart thrummed so loudly I was sure he heard it. I’d waited all my life for a man to do this to me, and I’d fantasized that Zolt would be that man. I couldn’t believe this was happening until his tongue flicked over my clit.

“Fuck,” I cried and tossed my head. It felt so good. There was no way I’d last if he kept doing this. My orgasm built quickly, making things deep in my belly clench deliciously. When he sucked and licked me with the tip of his tongue, and then slid his fingers inside me again, I was done for. My release slashed through me, and I screamed his name.