Innocent in His Diamonds (18 page)

Don't confuse love with sex or duty
...

The voice was a loud clamour in her head and in her heart. And, try as she might, Ana couldn't stem the growing fear that she was indeed jumping without a parachute.

‘I really hope you find joy and happiness where I sowed only pain, and I don't want to see you hurt.'

Lily's eyes bored into hers with a look Ana had thought she'd never see from her mother.

Affection
.

Her throat clogged and she stood. ‘Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.'

Her mother rose too. ‘That was the other thing I came to tell you. I've re-signed with Lauren. Apparently there's still hope for modelling work for women of a certain age. If you need me to stay on as your manager...'

Ana shook her head. ‘No, I'm giving up modelling. I'm hoping to work with Papá for a while.'

Lily's eyes clouded over with tears. ‘Your father is next on my list.'

Ana stepped forward and grabbed her mother's hand, swallowing a sob when hers was caught in a tight hold. ‘I'm proud of you...Mother.'

Lily hugged her tight, then moved back. ‘Call me...when you get to wherever you're going.'

The moment her mother left Ana sagged numbly onto the sofa, her gaze frozen in the middle distance.

Her mother had inadvertently confirmed her worst fears—that she was looking for love where none existed. Bastien had shown her gentleness and consideration. He'd made love to her as if she was the most precious thing in his life. But the fear that he'd never take the next step and love her was one she could no longer deny.

Her phone buzzed. Willing her heavy limbs to move, she fetched it from her bag.

It's B. R u OK?

Tears filled her eyes. She was willing to bet Bastien had never sent an abbreviated text in his life. That he was bending to accommodate her touched her heart even as it cracked painfully.

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she activated her keypad and carefully typed in:
Yes. C u in 1 hr

Fingers shaking, she closed the application and turned off her phone. Pain twisted like potent poison inside her. Giving in to the raw anguish, she burst into tears, her soul ripping into a million little pieces.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed on the sofa. It might have been close to an hour but it felt like an eternity. When she had no more tears left she slowly rose, grabbed her suitcase, went into her room and upended the contents onto her bed. On automatic, she refilled it with sensible, everyday clothes. The rest of her things she'd arrange to be packed and put into storage when she could think straight.

She blanked her mind to the fact that she would never see Bastien again, never feel the intensity of his lovemaking or feel the gentleness afterwards when he cradled her in his arms.

The pain of their violent separation would come later...when she was miles away.

But she'd come too far, been through too much, to settle for a life without love. They'd bared so much to each other in the past few days. Surely if Bastien loved her he'd have told her by now? Recalling his silence when she'd confessed her love, she bit back a dry sob and heaved her case off the bed. She retrieved her bag and laptop from the living room, breathing a sigh of relief that she still had her passport.

Taking one last look at the flat, she headed for the door.

The travel agents were a few minutes' walk away. Ana entered the building and came out fifteen minutes later, clutching a plane ticket.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

B
ASTIEN
'
S
TEETH
GRITTED
together as he fought to remain calm—fought against the primal urge to roar against the pain that ripped through him every time he thought of Ana.

He felt weak, debilitated, as if struck down by some alien disease. Even his heart wasn't sure whether to beat fast or slow, so it alternated between the two, constantly robbing him of breath. He thought of what he'd do when he found her. First he'd kiss her, and then he'd shake her until he got an answer. Then kiss her again—

He heard laughter as he approached the dusty, dilapidated trailer in the middle of the Colombian jungle. Familiar female laughter. His heart thundered and the surge of joy through his veins was so thrilling, the knowledge that he'd found her at last so heady, he smiled before he could stop himself.

Mon Dieu
...three long weeks he'd searched for her.

The deep male voice that joined in the laughter stopped Bastien dead in his tracks. There was a man in there...with Ana.
His
Ana.

He wrenched at the door before his thoughts coalesced. It refused to budge. He smashed his fist against the frame.

The laughter ceased.

‘Open this door, Ana.
Now!
'

Footsteps drew closer. Before the latch had turned fully he wrenched it open.

She was dressed. That was the first thing Bastien made sure of the moment he saw her. She was dressed—albeit in the tiniest pair of shorts known to man and a halter-necked top so threadbare it was almost see-through.

‘Bastien! What are you doing here?'

Her slack-jawed astonishment drew his gaze to her mouth—a mouth he hadn't tasted for what seemed like a lifetime. Hunger pounded through him, its fierce bite instant and relentless.

He ignored it, his gaze moving to the man who rose from the chair near the window. A tall, lanky man with long brown hair dressed in a distinctly hippy-type outfit.

‘Who the hell are
you
?'

His snarl made the other man's eyes widen. Bastien's satisfaction wasn't great, but it was welcome nonetheless. Ana's horrified gasp barely registered because he was busy devising ways to break the other man's limbs.

‘Bastien, you have no right to speak to my guest like that.'

He extended a hand. ‘Bastien Heidecker. Apologies for my rudeness. And you are...?'

Before the other man could answer Ana stepped up beside him. ‘Adam is my tutor.'

‘Tutor?' Belatedly Bastien saw the books spread over a small table by the window.

‘We were just discussing the Tudors and Henry VIII's fondness for excess,' Adam offered.

Any emerging regret for his rudeness towards Adam immediately evaporated when Bastien saw the way he smiled at Ana. Every muscle in his body tightened at the adoration in the man's eyes.

He bared his teeth. ‘If I'm not mistaken, Henry also had an extreme fondness for beheading.'

Taut silence settled in the trailer. Adam cleared his throat. ‘I'll...er...leave you two alone.'

The door had barely shut before he reached for her. ‘Are you sleeping with him?'

The need to know burned a wide and jagged path through him, although at the back of his mind he asked himself how he'd handle it if she said yes.

‘What? Are you serious—?'

He plunged his mouth down on hers, firstly to shut her up, but mostly because his need had become so gut-wrenching he couldn't think straight.

Her mouth opened up beneath his. His senses sang as he renewed his acquaintance with the potency of her kiss. He folded her into his arms, his hands rediscovering the exquisite curves he'd dreamed about day and night for endless weeks. Her soft breasts pressed into his chest, their heavy weight and hardened peaks a reminder of all he'd desperately missed.

He'd barely scratched the surface of his hunger before she pushed him away.

‘You didn't answer me. What are you doing here?'

He stepped back and raked a hand through his hair. ‘What the hell do you think? You left me without an explanation after you texted that you'd see me in an hour.
An hour
, Ana. It's been three weeks!'

‘I know how long it's been,' she muttered.

‘Tell me why? What did I do?'

Ana stared at him, standing so tall, proud and heartbreakingly gorgeous. Weeks of restless nights when her dreams had been so vivid that on waking to find she'd only been dreaming she'd burst into tears more than once didn't do justice to the reality of him. And, even though his face lacked some of the vitality she loved, he was still the most magnificent man in the world.

A magnificent man who would never return her love.

She turned away.

‘You didn't do anything, Bastien. It was me.'

Bastien stopped himself from reaching for her again, compelling her to look at him. ‘Whatever it is, tell me. I can take it.' A blatant lie. He wouldn't be able to take it if she rejected him.

A delicate frown creased her forehead. He wanted to smooth it away, to touch her once more. Her skin had darkened in the Colombian sun, making her more alluring if that was possible. Her beauty enthralled him, made him want to kneel at her feet in worship. But he needed to keep his wits about him. Needed to stay sane. Because he was fighting for his life. Fighting for the woman he loved above anything else in his life.

Her tongue snuck out to wet her lips. ‘What we had was great but it wasn't enough. I'm sorry.'

His vision frayed and he gripped the back of the chair. ‘What are you talking about?'

Her finger traced a delicate path on the rickety table. ‘I want more.'

‘I will give you more. Just tell me how.'

She stared at him for a few heartbeats, then her lids descended, her lush lashes shielding her eyes from him. Unable to stand not touching her, Bastien moved and tucked her hair behind one ear. Her breath caught.

‘Bastien, I can't tell you how to
feel
. If you don't already feel it...you're better off without me—'

‘No, I'm
nothing
without you! What we had... Ana, it was the closest thing to heaven that I've ever known.' Her eyes widened. Bastien fell deeper, even as his desperation grew. ‘I don't know why you left but you told me you loved me once. I hope that one day you'll love me again—the way I love you.'

Ana's heart stopped, somersaulted, and then banged with crazy abandon against her chest. She told herself it was the heat in the cabin that made her light-headed, but hope told her it was something else.

‘You love me?'

Bastien nodded. ‘
Oui
. I'll do whatever it takes to make you love me again—'

‘I never stopped.'

‘You never—'

‘No, and
you
never told me how you felt.'

He grimaced. ‘I did. You're the love of my life, Ana,
amour de mon coeur
.' He repeated the words he'd first said three weeks ago.

Her eyes widened as recognition dawned.

‘I felt safer saying it in French because I was a fool and thought that way I wasn't risking everything.' He gathered her closer. ‘But I aim to say it in every language there is—starting with English. I love you,
ma belle
Ana.'

Her heart soared. When he gathered her close she didn't resist. His kiss was hungry, demanding, possessive. And she loved it. He backed her onto the tiny cot she slept on and came down over her.

‘Here?'

‘Have mercy on a poor man, Ana. I've been without you for three long weeks. I can't take another single moment without you.'

Her sigh of pleasure was all the answer he needed to continue.

Later, in the equally tiny shower cubicle, he pulled her wet hair to one side and washed her back. Although there was more kissing than washing. Not that Ana was complaining.

‘Marry me,' he muttered against her shoulder.

Ana froze. ‘No. You
can't
want to marry me.'

His head snapped up, his eyes narrowing. ‘Credit me with knowing my own mind,
mon coeur
. I love you. I wish to spend the rest of my life with you. Marriage is the next natural step. Ana, I would be proud to have you by my side every day for the rest of my life. You've forged your way successfully through life and I'm proud of everything you've achieved. I would be even prouder to call you my wife.' A touch of vulnerable pain clouded his eyes. ‘Why did you leave me, Ana?'

‘I thought you didn't love me. After everything we'd been through, I thought if you loved me you'd have told me. When you didn't...'

His eyes turned smoky. ‘I will tell you every day how much I adore you. And if that doesn't work I have a few aces up my sleeve.'

‘Oh, really?' Her smile felt as if it would split her face as she moved into his arms.

‘Really.' He grinned, then sobered. ‘I met your father an hour ago. He grilled me thoroughly before he showed me where your trailer was. I think I passed his potential son-in-law test. But if that doesn't work... Remember the tower room the night I got back?'

Intrigued, she nodded. ‘One of the crew members had left a camera on. It recorded our conversation, but more importantly it recorded you melting into my arms, kissing me like I owned your soul.'

‘You do. But blackmail, Bastien? Seriously?'

He grinned. ‘Not as powerful as a sex tape, but I'll use whatever ammunition I have so you'll never leave me again.' He sobered. ‘You've believed in yourself, thrived despite all the setbacks you've received. Take this last step,
mon amour
. Marry me.'

‘I can't. Not yet. I've signed up with my father's programme. I need to stay in Colombia for two years.'

He merely shrugged. ‘Then I'll stay with you. I can work from anywhere in the world.'

‘But—'

‘Marry me,' he repeated, his purposeful tone making her heart soar. ‘Let me stay here with you. You can teach me Spanish as we pick through the bones and I'll teach you whatever you need to learn. Of course that means
I
will resume tutoring you. Adam will have to go.'

Tears filled her eyes. ‘I love you,
mi corazón
. Of course I'll be your wife.'

His kiss was long and deep. When he lifted his head the emotion in his eyes moved her soul. ‘I don't deserve you, Ana.'

‘But you've got me all the same. You're mine and I'm yours.
Siempre
.'

‘For ever.'

* * * * *

Read on for an extract from THE MAN TO BE RECKONED WITH by Tara Pammi.