Authors: J.W. Phillips
Tags: #adult abuse, #adult abuse recovery love, #romance adult contemporary, #adult and contemporary romance
“I love you,
Privy. Not just because of how wonderful you are and, babe, you are
fucking the best. But because of who I am because of you. I’m no
longer a selfish bastard. I’m a man that loves his woman and
strives to be a better man because of her.” He leaned in
excruciatingly slow until his forehead met mine. He held me like
that for two, three, maybe ten-seconds.
“I love you because you actually
put effort into making me smile. I love that you’re the first
person who has ever shown me that I’m worth something. I love how
you take care of me, even when I didn’t know who you were. I love
how you have only ever showed me gentleness. I love your cocky
little walk. I love every damn thing about you. I love you,
always.”
I wanted him. I’ve never wanted
something or someone so much. I always knew that when the time was
right I would feel it. Boy, did I feel it. I wanted nothing more
than to feel him inside of me. I started removing my shirt, not
moving my eyes or forehead from his. He clasped my hand.
“What are you doing?” He brought
his hand to my face, caressing my cheek. He looked lost.
“I need you. I never thought I
would feel this way, but I need to feel you inside of me. I’m
begging you. I need this, please.”
His eyes never left mine even as I
removed my top and bra. He snaked his arm around my waist and
pushed his hand down my pants. “Are you sure, Privy? I need to know
that you really want this. Because if we start this now I won’t be
able to stop.”
I stood up, still looking him in
the eyes, and removed my pants and panties. His eyes never shifted
from mine as he started to undress. I’d never been that exposed in
my life, or as comfortable. Ethan didn’t want to ravage my body. He
wanted to love me. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw his pants fly
over his head. It took every ounce of stubbornness I had not to
look. He reached over and gripped my side. His lips crashed against
mine and he groaned. Each individual sound he made drove me insane.
Ethan lowered me to the couch, his body positioned over mine. Skin
to skin and I still wanted to be closer. I locked my legs around
him. I felt his erection heavy and hard against my thigh. I
explored his body with my hand, sighing in pleasure as my fingers
trailed down the hard ripples of his stomach.
“You naked is more
unbelievably beautiful then I imagined it would be. And babe, I
imagined it all the damn time. My dick hurts from wanting you so
bad.” Ethan started to lower his body over mine. I flinched as his
tongue flicked over my nipple. He moved to the other breast
repeating the fast flick of his tongue. He raised up. Each muscle
in his body bulged as he slid his hands along the inside of each of
my thighs and kissed my belly button. He kissed down a line to the
top of my mound. I tensed up. His hooded eyes locked with mine
causing me to relax under his touch. My eyes closed as his tongue
ran over the cluster of nerves already going crazy.
“Look at me,” he
demanded. “Open your eyes,” he breathed into my groin.
I shook my head back and forth. He
kissed my inner thigh. His fingers moved rhythmically inside me,
his thumb worked over my clit. He replaced his thumb with his mouth
and sucked my clit, vibrating his tongue over it. It was all too
much. I fisted my hands in his hair as I screamed out his name. I
had never dreamed something could feel that good. He raised back up
over my body and kissed me. His lips were warm and wet and tasted
of me.
“Do you want me to
do that some more?” he asked. I nodded. “Then open your damn
eyes.”
My eyes snapped open as he
descended over the throb he created. He ran his tongue through my
folds again. My breathing stopped as the feelings increased in me.
Then a volcano of pleasure erupted the moment he sucked my clit
back into his mouth. Ethan kissed back up my body until his
hardness was wedged between my legs. He reached over for his jeans
and dug in his wallet for a condom.
I gripped his hand and quickly
kissed his lips, savoring my taste on him. “Have you really never
been with a girl without one?”
“Never.” He let
out a long groan as his forehead fell into the hallow of my
neck.
“Don’t use one then, I’m clean and
you’ve always been safe.” My eyes closed briefly when I felt him
start to kiss down my neck and across my shoulder.
“Privy,” he whispered against my
shoulder. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t want to
feel dirty.” I scooted down until I was in line with him.
With that one statement, I felt
the unfamiliar sting as he slid into me. I started to
hyperventilate. The fear of that horrible night fought to take
over. He shivered as he stroked my face with his fingertips. “Look
at me, beautiful. It’s me. I love you.”
I glided my hands from his
shoulders, down his backside, and felt his muscles straining as he
held still in me. “Don’t stop.”
His lips searched every inch of my
chest as he started to rock inside of my body. Pulling back, he
stared intently. “Does it hurt?”
It was an intense pain, but a
pleasurable pain. It was nothing like what I had experienced during
the rape. I was with the man I loved and he loved me. It wasn’t
sex, but two souls becoming one. I shook my head and bit down on my
lip as the pain subsided and turned into something more
mind-boggling than I ever dreamed possible.
“Forever, Privy, I would be dead
without you.”
I sunk my nails into his back as
his lips found mine. There was an intensity to his kiss I had never
felt before. He squeezed my backside in unison with each thrust.
Each movement grew rougher. I cried out, digging my fingers into
his back, as I felt him tense inside me.
“Dylan, I’m going
to,” he whispered, conflicted. He started moaning so loudly that I
covered his mouth with mine to suppress the scream.
Between labored breaths, he kissed
me over and over, the tenderest of all kisses. He kissed my lips,
my cheek, my forehead, and then my nose. He rolled over, pulling me
close to him, and locked his fingers together at my side. I sighed,
totally exhausted, and kissed his chest.
“Dylan, are we crazy? Is this
crazy?”
“I will have to get back to you on
that.”
Tuesday, November 18,
2014
I slapped at the
dresser until my hand landed upon the alarm clock and turned over,
feeling across a cold, empty bed. It was only eight in the morning.
I sat up and scratched my fingers across my scalp. Ethan had taken
some vacation days off that week so we could be together.
Where in the hell did he
go?
I slipped the tee-shirt, that
never made it back on the night before, over my head and walked
down the hallway. Ethan’s clothes still laid strewn across the
living room. I checked in the kitchen. The coffee pot set
untouched. Ethan didn’t wake up until he consumed no less than
three cups of coffee.
I started back to the bedroom. I
had experienced the greatest night of my life. After we finally
recovered on the couch, we moved to the bed, and replayed the same
scene over more than once. I checked in his office, sure he
wouldn’t have left me alone.
“You’re already
up, Privy.” Ethan’s voice boomed from behind me.
I turned to see Ethan put down a
sack of food. “I missed you.” I said.
He broke out into a shy, crooked
smile and blushed. I made Ethan Asher blush. I mentally had to
think to keep myself from jumping up and down. He started toward
me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. It was that magnificent
body that made love to me. He slipped his hand around my waist and
pulled me to him.
He bent his head to
whisper in my ear. “I never went to sleep. I left to get some food
and a gift for you.” He winked. The smile he gave me was too much
causing me to duck my head.
Why after last night did I doubt how he felt about me?
Maybe more than ever.
He
squeezed my hand. “Come here, I want to show you
something.”
He guided me to the couch and
worked to get me positioned at just the right angle. He started to
do that smoldering stare. It had always melted me, but after
experiencing what that body behind the stare could do I was a pile
of mush. One by one, he nonchalantly unbuttoned his shirt. My
inside coiled as the ache between my legs throbbed. “I can’t.” My
head involuntarily shook. “I’m sore.”
Ethan radiated with this half grin
and placed his hands on his hips. My eyes didn’t know where to
land; his sparkling eyes, perfect smile, or those abs. Damn, he was
smoking hot.
“My Privy is sore.” He vibrated
with a low sexy ass laugh and dropped to his knees in front of me.
“Can you feel where I’ve been?”
Okay, he twisted my
body in all kinds of positions the whole night and this was what
made me blush.
My cheeks
burned with redness. “Just a little,” I whispered and glanced
away.
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips
and placed his hands on my knees. “I love knowing you feel where
I’ve been. I love knowing I got the tremendous privilege of going
there.” He whispered in my ear and then licked the contour of it.
“I know I don’t deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my life
proving to you I can be a man that makes you proud.”
I obscured my face in his hair. He
started pulling his shirt off. I worked my hands over the biceps on
his arms and up to his shoulders. Feeling plastic under my touch, I
raised my head. He twisted his body bringing in view his shoulder.
It was covered in plastic wrap and a clear ointment. He started to
peel back the plastic covering. I ripped it off. He had covered up
that tattoo with a bouquet of orange primroses. I felt over the
fresh scabs and couldn’t see a trace of the old tattoo. “You got
inked?”
He craned his neck, looking over
his shoulder. “Last night was the most amazing night of my life.
After everything you learned, you still wanted me like that. I
watched you sleep and hoped I would never spend another night
without you in my bed.” His eyes connected with mine. “The thought
I had a symbol on my body that caused you pain haunted me. I called
a buddy of mine and have spent the last three hours making sure you
never have to look at it again.”
My heart sped up.
Those words meant more to me than the night he first said I love
you. I had to say something, but what words were appropriate. “Why
primroses?”
So inappropriate,
Dylan.
“They are the flowers that brought
you back to me.” He stood up and jerked me to my feet. His hands
were suddenly on me. There was a urgency about him, I didn’t quite
understand. He was possessed. His hands frantically ran over my
body. Ethan clutched my shirt in his fist and ripped it. “I need to
feel you. I need to know after everything you are mine.”
I started to declare my love to
him when his lips covered mine and his tongue invaded my mouth. The
sexy growls he purred caused an anxious pulse between my legs. He
scooped me up in his arms. I’d never remembered being carried
before not even as a child. The feel of his skin against mine, his
arms supporting my frame was amazing.
He slowly lowered me to his bed.
“You’re sore, beautiful. No matter how much it hurts me, I’m not
going to make love to you right now. However, I am going to spend
the day loving each inch of your body.”
I woke up totally refreshed, and
unsure of what time it was. I sat up and stretched out my arms
surprised Ethan was not in bed. He had spent hours worshiping my
body. I begged him to make love to me, but he wouldn’t. He wanted
it to be about me, not him. Utterly spent, I eventually passed out
in complete bliss.
I heard the TV in the
living room. From the laugh track, I would have guessed it was one
of Ethan’s old comedy shows. I draped the duvet around my body and
headed toward the living room. The TV blared but still no trace of
Ethan. That was when I heard a crash come from the kitchen followed
close by with a loud, “Shit.”
Found him.
I snickered, finding Ethan on his
hands and knees picking up rolls might have been more pleasing than
waking up next to him. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to fix dinner, but dropping
every damn thing.” He chucked a roll and then yanked me on top of
him. The blanket shifted off my shoulder exposing my bare breast.
He instantly rubbed his hand over it. “This is totally not fair.
I’m hard as fuck and your friends should be here in about thirty
minutes.” He covered up my chest and smiled. “Oh, yeah, you should
really get dressed.”