Inside Danger (Outside The Ropes Book 2) (31 page)

Silas was outside the ring, yelling at the referee. “You’ve got to stop those kidney shots. Come on, you need me to do your job? Why weren’t points taken away?”

The Ref was walking away, dismissing him. “Watch yourself. Go take care of your boxer, and I’ll take care of the fight.”

But Silas followed him.

I ignored the rest, refocusing on the fight. That’s all I could think about. There was only Misha and me. No one else.

I charged her the next round, taking the punches so I could force myself inside her reach. I threw my own punches and her body gave with each one, moving back towards the ropes. I kept swinging, not letting up as each connecting punch charged me. I had her against the ropes, but she was still in control of her body, it was still resisting, not weakening. So I kept hitting.

She hit my back, pain lightning quick struck all the way to my toes. This time the Ref separated us and gave her a penalty of two points. It was no good though, it gave her time to recover and took her off the ropes.

Blood dripped from her eyebrow, but she smiled at me with a shrug. “My bad,” she said, dismissing the Ref and walking a wide arc around me.

I didn’t waste time, I jumped in again.

Her glove slid across my cheek, barely hitting as I dodged it. I came at her from below, putting all my force into a punch to her jaw. It shook her, but didn’t knock her down. I felt her weakening as I stepped closer, delivering another punch.

She pushed me away with both her gloves on my shoulders. It gave her space to escape momentarily. I couldn’t allow it.

I lunged at her as I threw punches, no longer worried about blocking. I needed all my force in my punches. She had to go down. With each punch, her energy and strength gave way beneath my glove. Her body jerked more and more with each blow. But she was still punching too and blocking several of my swings. I pushed harder, hit stronger, faster, blind to everything else.

Then the Referee was pushing me back. “That’s a two point penalty for you. Stop with the back punches or you will be disqualified.”

I couldn’t focus on him. My lungs burned as I sucked in large amounts of air. She was bleeding from several spots on her face, but she was still standing. And now she was walking to the center of the ring, away from me.

I tried to wave the referee away, but he grabbed my hands. “Fight fair.” I nodded and he stepped away.

She was ready for my attack and had her guards up. I barely got two more punches in before the bell rung.

But she was still standing and that wasn’t supposed to happen. I needed her to be on the ground. To drop. I kept hitting her, thinking just one more punch should do it.

Arms pulled me away and the Referee was yelling at me. “That’s it. Fight’s over, you’re disqualified.”

“No. No. No.” I stopped my begging as I saw that Misha was still standing. It didn’t matter, even if the fight continued, I lost the round. I had lost everything.

Looking beyond the bright lights, I saw Nick standing there, just outside the ring in the first row.

Dexter was pulling me from the ring as the arena light’s flicked on. The announcer named Misha Bilagio as the winner, by disqualification.

Kyle flanked the other side of me and Nick followed behind as we walked to the elevator. It wasn’t till we were riding up to the second floor that the weight settled, and Dexter’s arm felt like it was choking me. When the doors opened, I stepped away from him, out of the elevator.

“Go home Dexter.”

He tried to step out. “No.”

“Listen to her.” Nick blocked him from getting off the elevator. “Go home.” As the doors shut, Nick added, “Maybe I’ll see ya at the next poker game.”

I scanned the hotel room. Kyle, Nick, and Boris were the only people with me.

Nick sat on the sofa as Kyle took off my gloves.

“Hurry up with that. We have some people to meet tonight.” Nick smirked at me.

Kyle cut away the tape in silence. No one spoke about my loss. He was too quiet and I wondered what he knew about all of this. He obviously knew enough.

As the tape fell away, I made my decision. It was my only chance.

“Where are you going?” Nick asked as I walked past him.

“To the bathroom.” My words were absent of life.

He nodded as I stepped into the bedroom, closing and locking the door.

I hurried to the linen closet and grabbed the gun. Then I slid my jacket on, over my boxing clothes. The window was silent as it slid open, sounds of the city filling the space. I had to move fast.

The room faced another building, an alley down below, but the main street was only a few yards away. I was on the second floor so the drop wasn’t too dangerous. I would have risked higher.

Sliding my feet over the ledge, I dropped into the darkness, bending my knees as I hit the cement below. I landed on my feet, ready to sprint to the street, but stopped short. Gage was at the opening of the alley, back to me, talking to someone.

I turned and ran in the other direction, cutting right behind the other building. I didn’t bother to turn and see if he saw me, I knew he did. The sound of his boots closing in behind me only made me run faster.

MY LUNGS BURNED AS I PUSHED MYSELF beyond the limit. I kept running, legs gone beneath me. I turned right, down a skinnier path, trying to get to the main street. If I could get to the main street, I would have the safety of a crowd.

But I was running towards a dead end, and I couldn’t turn around. I knew someone was behind me still, even if I could no longer hear the sound of boots. My mind screamed with the prayer that another cut or door would appear before I reached the gate in front of me. But nothing ever did.

I launched myself onto the wrought iron bars and tried to find a grip to climb. My muscles fired, shaking with the need to keep moving forward. But the gate was too tall. Just beyond it, a building, doors open, lights on, perhaps the back of a restaurant? But I couldn’t reach it, and windowless slabs of brick were on either side of me, offering no escape.

Now that I wasn’t running, I could hear sounds outside my body, and the boots were back.

“Regan stop,” Gage’s voice was further away than I expected, but still too close for me to make it over this impossible fence.

If it was only him, I might still have a chance. Forcing myself to give up on the gate, I dropped back to the concrete, twisting to face him as I did.

He was the only one walking down the alley, but that didn’t mean the others weren’t waiting.

I sucked in air, searing my lungs, and faced him fully, the gate at my back. “You have to let me go, please. I can’t go back there. Nick’s—” my voice broke with panic.

“There’s nowhere for you to go, Regan.” His voice was too calm as he strolled towards me, coming out of the shadows of the buildings.

“Please,” I begged again, I had to. This was my last chance. “Just give me a chance to run, that’s all I’m asking for.” If he just let me get to the street.

His phone ring echoed through the cool night air. And he twisted the knife in my back when he answered it.

“It’s all right, I’ve got her.” He took slow steps forward, voice low.

His words killed me and I pulled the gun from my pocket, muscles steady as I aimed it at him.

“I’ll call you back.” He stopped walking and put the phone away. “What are you going to do? Shoot me?” He wasn’t taking my threat very serious.

But as gravity settled on me, my muscles shook. I wouldn’t shoot him, I couldn’t. Why the hell did the one person I couldn’t hurt have to be the one to catch me?

And he must have seen the answer in my face because he started walking towards me again.

“Stop.” I pushed the gun further forward, but my strangled voice didn’t hold much confidence.

The closer he got, the more I shook. And my vision blurred as tears burned in them, but I could still see that he was getting closer. And I couldn’t shoot him. I’d kill myself before I hurt him. I’d kill myself before I let Nick kill me.

With that thought, I bent my elbow and put the gun to my temple, unlocking the safety at the same time.

“No.” He folded like he was hit in the gut with a crow bar.

The tears were dripping down my face now and my arm vibrated with barely enough strength to hold up the gun.

“Don’t. Put the gun down.”

“He’ll kill me.” He needed to understand. “And now you’ve told them you found me. If you let me go they’ll hurt you.” I closed my eyes against the thought. I could see it now very clearly. Instead of Harrison, it would be Gage in that chair.

“You think killing yourself is the answer? Trust me, Regan. Don’t do this.” His voice was thick and his arm was out, reaching, but too far away to touch me.

My thoughts spread in all directions, but it was Rusnak’s voice that sliced through the storm. I was just like her, all the worst parts. And it was crushing me that he was right. I sunk to my knees, broken and no longer able to stand under the pressure. My vision only a blur of silent tears.

My finger burned over the trigger, testing the spring. I just had to press a bit harder. Just a bit harder and it would all be over. But I couldn’t find the strength and that crushed me all over again. I wasn’t just like her. I was weak. Weaker than her. And Rusnak was right, he should have let her kill me when I was little.

“I can’t.” And I wasn’t sure if I meant trust him, kill myself, or go back. Everything probably.

Then his hands were on mine, pulling the gun from my fingers. His warmth surrounded me. Choking me.

I pushed away as my silent tears intensified to sobs, but he pulled me tighter to him, muffling the sound with his body. He sat on the concrete and pulled me onto his lap, cradling me, arms securely wrapped around me.

“It’s going to be okay… Shhh… no one will hurt you… I’m here.” Bits and pieces of his soft murmurs reached me through the screaming filling my body.

I needed to pull it together. Stop crying. Get away. But it was useless. Hopeless. I couldn’t escape, I couldn’t even kill myself. I could only hope that Nick did it fast. That he was going to just kill me and nothing else.

A slam made him perk up and his hold tightened. The door behind the gate had closed, but nobody was seen. They probably didn’t notice us in the shadows.

“We’ve got to go.” Gage’s hands ran over me as he shifted me off his lap, pulling me to my feet.

I followed him, lifeless. Tears all dried up. It was as if I had pulled that trigger, killing any fight left in me. I was already dead, but now I’d make sure Gage wasn’t hurt for it. He could take me back without a struggle.

He kept his arm around me, pointless because I wasn’t running. But I soaked up the warmth and support, too close to the end to deny the fact that I loved being near him. I would take this last moment.

We walked in silence to the parking garage. It would have been quicker to go to the main road, but Gage kept to the darkness of the back alley. And then he was placing me in the SUV, in the backseat. I tested the door, just to be sure, and it had the child safety lock on, it could only be opened from the outside.

My head rested on the tinted glass and I closed my eyes, willing my thoughts to stop. I wish I could take one of Nan’s pills, the ones that made reality disappear. Or the drugs that had killed the women who started this. My stomach twisted and I stomped on the thoughts. I wasn’t like her. I couldn’t be. Didn’t want to be. And I wouldn’t end my life being her.

I pulled myself out of my dark pit, just enough, to make the decision that whatever happened, I wouldn’t be her. I would fight when I faced Nick. But I wouldn’t take Gage down with me.

Opening my eyes, I sat up. We weren’t on the road to DC or the club or anywhere I recognized. There were barely any cars on the highway as we drove past signs for the Bay Bridge toll. He took the last exit before the toll, making a few turns before he pulled into a hotel parking lot. I stayed silent until he opened the door for me, reaching into the SUV to pull me out.

“What are we doing?” I scooted across the seat, out of reach.

He dropped his hand onto the seat next to me with a sigh. “We’re going to stay here tonight and figure shit out in the morning. I’m not trying to go too far.”

Icy fear was back, cracking my bones and shaking my muscles. “No.” My breathing was shallow. “You can’t do this.” I had wanted to run on my own. He wasn’t supposed to come with me.

“Regan, trust me.” He frowned and slid into the back of the SUV with me, but didn’t close the door.

I scooted away further, pressed to the opposite door. If he touched me, I knew my resolve would dissolve like sand.

“What are you so scared of?” He reached his hand out and I flinched. “Don’t be scared of me, please?” He slid just a bit closer, eyes penetrating me.

The pleading in his voice cracked my heart open, and I strangled the cry that wanted to escape.

“No, I’m not scared of you. I’m scared for you.” I was gravitating towards him, moving closer little by little. “Helping me will get you killed. You should take me back, I’ll go and face them.”

His smile confused me, his light laughter even more so. I felt desperate, near tears again, and he was laughing?

“What?” I attempted to move away from him again, but his hands shot out around my waist and pulled me closer.

His shallow breaths fanned over me in waves as he dipped his head to mine. “That’s probably the closest thing to an I love you that I’ll ever get from you.” He moved his hands to the sides of my head, turning it up to meet his eyes. “But you don’t have to be scared for me. I can handle this. What I can’t handle is losing you. You don’t want me hurt? Then don’t leave me or push me away. Let me do this. Let me help.” His eyes darted around my face, his lips opening and closing as he breathed.

I had no response. Had I really never told him I loved him? But I couldn’t now, not when I needed him to save himself and get away. I would have to hurt him, to keep him from getting killed. But being so close made him hard to resist.

Shaking my head, I moved my hands to his chest, intending to push him away but unable to do so. Instead, I let the feel of his heartbeat steady my own, calming me and terrifying me.