Insomnia (Sexual Misconduct Volume I) (9 page)

Somewhere along the line
, I felt her wiggling out from under my hold. I reached out and caught her wrist as she stood. She looked down at me and tried to pull free. “I’m just going to the bathroom.”

“Don
’t you fucking leave me,” I mumbled, still half asleep. She nodded and I reluctantly released her, dozing off.

Avery

It was 2:08 in the morning when I got home. I pulled open the front door, pushed it shut behind me, and kicked off my shoes. I sank onto the chair in the entryway and buried my face into my hand.

I was reeling—
completely off course and out of control. I couldn’t come to grips with
my
Susan being Xander’s mom. All these years and I never pried into her life, never asked details about her kids and a husband. She was always so vague—never giving away any names. It was always
my son
or
my husband
. I was so grateful for all she’d done for me I never pushed for more.

The
feeling that something was being kept from me increased when Ian showed up. I didn’t need to be told he was Xander’s brother, because the resemblance was uncanny. The only thing that set the two apart was that Xander was stockier, and Ian had more of a dirty-blond thing going on with his hair. Something awful was brewing in that family, and I was afraid to find out the truth.

I
’d let Xander in, and I couldn’t handle being betrayed by people I trusted. Even Susan had been different that afternoon, nervous and scared—almost like Xander and me being together was her worst nightmare. She went through a lot of trouble making sure I didn’t know who her husband and children were. I just couldn’t figure out why.

I heard a car pull into the driveway and looked up in time to see headlight
s turn off. I hoped it was Ellie. She’d been coming home more often—albeit really late—but at least she came home now. I looked up with the knock on the door and stared straight at Xander through the see-through glass portion. He stood there, hands in the pockets of his jeans, hair all bedraggled, and a deep frown marring his face.

I watched him
, not sure if I should let him in, because the further I let him into my life, the deeper he could hurt me. He nodded his head toward the door, signaling me to let him in, but I couldn’t move. It was in my nature to help people, to get them to open up to me. Xander was a sealed vault, and if he couldn’t let me in, then why should I do the same for him?

He
removed a hand from his pocket and ran it through his hair, turning his back to the door. He stood there—frozen—much like I was. This thing between us was so unexpected that it had shaken us both. One thing I knew for sure was if I opened that door, my heart wouldn’t be far behind. It was the turning point. The point where I’d be able to walk away without being too hurt, or the point where I opened the door to everything that was Xander—including accepting he had secrets. Secrets that haunted him at night and made his family anxious.

He
walked down the short flight of steps and went to stand next to his car. He didn’t get in. He just leaned against the car, staring at my front door, his head hung low and his hands stuffed in his pockets.

My brain told me to turn away
, but everything else in me screamed at me to open the door, and it wasn’t long before I listened. I unlatched the door and stepped back in, waiting for him. He stared for a few moments. It seemed he was fighting the same battle with walking away. In the end he gave in, much like I did, and walked through the door. He looked totally unsure and defeated. When he stopped a few inches from me and looked me in the eyes, his green irises were more like a stormy gray in the dim lighting. His hands were still buried in his pockets and he looked almost afraid to try to touch me.

“
Why’d you leave?” His voice was a raspy whisper. I knew I told him I wouldn’t, but I’d needed space.

“You
’ll never let me in.”

“I will
. You just have to give me time.” He finally took his hand out of his pocket and ran it down his face. “Let me do this when I’m ready.”

“Will it hurt me?”

“I just want you to see the good
in me before I tell you the ugly.”

I reache
d out and touched his face, the growth on his chin scratching against my palm. “I already see the good. Whatever ugly thing that’s in your past doesn’t negate what you are now.”

He snorted
. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

He
reached out and hooked an arm around my waist, pulling me in and covering my lips with his. The kiss was soft and searching at first. Gentle licks and soft nips at my lips. But as usual, the chemistry between us ignited as soon as we touched.

Our
sweet, tender kiss turned animal-like. The kind of kiss that was so untamed neither of us had any control. His tongue moved hungrily against mine, seeking the kind of pleasure that left us sated yet utterly ravaged.

My back hit the wall
. His fingers dug into my thighs as he lifted my legs over his hips. He ground his erection against my pussy, and I knew I’d combust with a few clever thrusts of his hips. He moved his lips to my neck, biting and sucking. He was always consumed with marking me. So much so he didn’t hear the door open and made no move to stop.

I pushed against his shoulder as Ellie stood there stock still with pure shock on her face.

“Xander.”

“Don
’t make me stop, baby.”

“Xander.” He pulled back and looked at me,
eyes glazed over with lust.

“What?”

“Ellie’s home.” Having never seen me this passionate about any man, the look of surprise on her face was entirely expected.

Xander

“Ellie’s home.”

I couldn
’t focus on anything other than how hard my dick was and how badly I needed to fuck her. When we fucked, we connected. It was the only time we both let down our walls and I knew she was mine no matter how much she doubted me. So when she told me her so-called sister, daughter, or whatever she considered her was home, it didn’t register to me.

“Uh
-huh…” I mumbled and buried my head back into her sweet-smelling neck.

“Xander
, stop!”

I sighed and took a slow step away from her but promised her with a searing look that we
’d pick up where we left off soon.

Ellie cleared her throat and I turned to the sweet
, innocent-looking blonde who eyed me warily.

“Ellie
, this is Xander Pierce. Xander, Ellie.”

She
stepped forward and held out her hand, but I just kept staring at her face. I’d finally found something I wanted in Avery, and that hadn’t happened in over a decade. But I realized the one thing I wanted might be the one thing I couldn’t have. My past was bearing down on me and I didn’t know if she’d be able to handle my truths, but worse than that…

It t
urns out the most important person in Avery’s life was a stripper I met when I first came to town. Ellie was the girl that handed me that card—the girl I fucked for a month before I ever met Avery. Ellie was the usually wild-haired, scantily-clad Gabriella.

Going
off the things beginning to run through my head, I was reverting back to old habits. I was already formulating plans and scheming because I needed to do anything possible to keep Avery.

When
you find what you’re searching for, you won’t have to fight so hard to keep it.

My father
’s words echoed in my head. But the odds weren’t in my favor. Our relationship had officially become a house of cards that a gentle breeze would tear apart. Gabriella was the tornado, and everything around me started to crumble, getting sucked up in her forceful whirlwind. Wrapping Avery in my arms and blinding her from the destruction ahead was the only way I knew to keep her with me.

End o
f Episode 1

A note to the readers

Oh my God! I can’t believe it just stopped there!

Who is this Bethany Bazile
, and why is she trying to torture us?

Maybe I’m a sadist. After all, why would I leave you guys hanging this way? Honestly, when I came up with the concept of this story—or should I say when these characters forced me to tell their story—this is the way it was laid out in my head.

It
all played out like a three-part serial with separate titles and different covers. Each part will be released within two weeks of the last one. I know some of you are angry at me. I struggled with this type of format because I knew I’d get some fans who’d absolutely hate me.

So
maybe I’m a masochist? Because I still decided to publish this way, though I suspected I’d see the soft glow of torches and pitchforks coming up the road.

To those who hate cliffhangers and still ventured down this road
, I apologize—and thank you for giving me a chance anyway. I hope you venture on and read
Underneath It All
&
Lie To Me
.

If you need to rant
, then you’re welcome to stop by my Facebook page and leave comments. I love hearing from you guys. Flip the page and you’ll find all the ways you can stalk me.

To all my readers
, I thank you. Your time and support are priceless. I hope this serial was what I meant it to be for you, because in the end, the
climax
is always better when you have to endure the slow buildup. ;-)

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More by Bethany Bazile:

Fight For Me

Beautifully Broken

Beautifully Revealed

UnBurdened
(A Novella)

Deceitfully Yours

About Underneath It All

She was unexpected but exactly what I needed. She gave me hope again, made me feel things that had died over a decade ago.

I was reverting back to the man I used to be. The man that destroyed lives to keep the one person that meant everything to him.

My secrets were piling up. I didn
’t know how long I’d be able to maintain it all.

But I knew I
’d do anything to keep her.

Even if it meant I had to let her see who I was underneath it all.

About the Author

Bethany Bazile reads,
writes, and lives in the Northeast with her husband and two amazing kids. Her passion for writing was born from a love affair between books and music. She loves books that draw her in and won’t release her until she’s inhaled every word, panting with excitement. Then she realizes the sun came up, but the loss of sleep was so worth it. When she isn’t reading, she’s conjuring up steamy love scenes and hot romance stories to share with fellow romance lovers. She can’t function without her cup of coffee and operates on a vampire-like timeframe.