Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch (7 page)

porn films.

This has been a successful sexual response for men as it feels good, espe- cially the ejaculatory phase. The problem is that most women do not have this same ejaculatory phase. They do, however, have a greater capacity for feel- ing sensation then men do, as the clitoris has a higher concentration of nerve endings than does any portion of the male anatomy. The sole function of the clitoris is to experience pleasure. Many modern women are aware that their clitorises are where the action is. They either masturbate there or, when en- gaged in partnered sex, require their lovers to stimulate it. This is definitely a

step in the right direction, but we have noticed that most women are still try- ing to experience orgasm in the same way men do. They tense their bodies and hope to eventually come or even ejaculate.

We consistently get e-mails from women and some men (about their part- ners) who are concerned about not being orgasmic while having intercourse. We would have thought that the word had gotten around by now inform- ing women about how their bodies work and about the low percentages of women who actually have coital orgasms. We guess Dr. Freud had a bigger influence than we’d hoped in this arena. He stated that there were two types of orgasm, vaginal and clitoral, and that the vaginal kind was “superior” to the clitoral kind. This apparent misconception still influences many people’s thinking on the matter. Simply put, there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm as there are no proprioreceptive nerve endings in the vaginal wall surface. Of course, through our teachings and those of others, a woman can learn to feel more and include stimulation of her clitoris in the coital act, thereby leading to an orgasm. It is not a vaginal orgasm. It is clitorally based, as are all female orgasms.

Many women feel inferior because they do not have vaginal orgasms, yet their clitoral orgasms really are the standard itself and these women just don’t know it. The Hollywood film industry—which depicts coitus as a fantastic sexual romp with the man on top, and then the woman, and then the man again—is promoting a fiction that has prejudiced women and men into think- ing that they should be able to duplicate this wonderful experience in their own bedrooms. Yet they fail to find the gratification that was promised.

We promise you something better, something real, and something that at first you will find mind-blowing: an orgasm that starts the explosion with the first touch. As we’ve stated, we think that eventually an EMO will be consid- ered the norm and that the notion of a woman imitating a man by going for the tensed-up, seconds-long orgasmic release will be in the minority. Then maybe men will be able to imitate the way women orgasm, thereby increas- ing their pleasure, too. This orgasmic eruption does not require a great deal of kindling and, like a nuclear reactor, can keep producing energy for an ex- tended period of time.

Y First Step Z

Thefirststepinhavinganinstantorgasmisrealizingthatitispossible. If you’ve never heard of something or considered it a possibility, that thing has no place in your mind. It just doesn’t exist. Your mind is filled with symbols and trig- gers to other symbols encompassing everything you have learned or imag- ined, and if you have never heard of instantaneous orgasmic response then to you it doesn’t exist. In order to even entertain a new idea, one has to first be made aware of it. It’s kind of like when people used to think the world was flat. If you had told them that it was round they would have thought you were crazy and probably a troublemaker. Or it’s like when Galileo tried to convince peo- ple that Copernicus was correct in thinking the earth revolved around the sun instead of vice versa. Despite recanting this belief in the face of the Spanish In- quisition he was placed under house arrest for years and narrowly missed be- ing executed for his radical ideas.

Even better than reading or hearing about the possibility of an immedi- ate orgasmic response is getting to see one for yourself. As mentioned, we give live demonstrations showing that a person can reach an orgasmic state very quickly. We also do hands-on work (pardon the pun) with individual students and sometimes with couples, usually in our apartment. Both Vera and I are al- ways present for these person-to-person sessions. There are quite a few peo- ple now living on our planet who can orgasm deliberately from the first stroke and who even teach this technique, so the idea is slowly spreading (just like any useful meme or information virus, as Richard Dawkins would call it). The tipping point has not yet been reached, so the idea of instant orgasm remains unknown to most. Hopefully this book will help spread the word.

When people see it with their own eyes, they are usually convinced that coming on the first stroke is a real phenomenon. Some still may think that it is some kind of trick or fakery, but at least they have opened their minds to the possibility of the experience, and that is a step in the right direction. They have created a symbol for the occurrence in their minds, so at least they can think about it.

We recently met some women who said that IO and EMO are impossible for them, yet they had never witnessed either one! That kind of negative preju-

dice can keep people from experiencing something fantastic. The positive news is that at least now they have been exposed to the concepts. Although they haven’t embraced the possibility for themselves, by having heard of the phenomena they are ahead of where they were.

Y Check It Out for Yourself Z

Once people see that instant orgasm is not only possible but fairly easy to achieve, many will try it. As we’ve said, it takes some practice to change old habits—to switch from tensing up and thus not feeling much during a sensual encounter to relaxing and feeling as much as one can. Therefore, the second step in creating an IO is to practice doing it. You can practice by yourself or with a partner. Perhaps it is best to try both ways. The next chapter describes several ways to practice by yourself, and later chapters detail techniques for practicing with a partner.

When you receive pleasure from either your own hand or that of a part- ner, it is important to approve of all the sensations you feel. That is, don’t judge any feeling, or yourself, as wrong or inadequate; just be aware of the sensation without evaluating it in any way. Know that the intensity of the sensation will be less powerful on the first stroke than it will as you continue the stimulation. The intensity gets stronger as you go along, and the best and fastest way to get there is by approving of what you are experiencing right now, not by tensing or ignoring the present moment for the hope of coming in the future. Instead of going to the symphony to listen to the last ten seconds of music, you go to listen to the entire performance. You hear and feel each note and combina- tion of instruments, and you especially pay attention to the opening sounds, which enrich your mind after stimulating your ears.

The genitals of both men and women contain a lot of nerve endings. They can feel the air; they can even feel a hand that is held just above them without touching the skin. They can feel heat and cold. They are highly sensitive, and with practice and attention they become even more receptive and responsive. Combined with a willing mind, they can eagerly anticipate and easily feel.

Every sensual experience is different. The more positive a person’s past ex- periences, the easier he or she will find it to be pleasured the next time. It isn’t

necessary to try to repeat the same experience each time out; in fact, doing so can produce problems, like comparing the present moment to a memory, which causes one’s awareness to be focused on judging instead of feeling the stroke at hand.

We have observed that the most difficult part of having an instant orgasm is the first step: embracing the concept itself. People are so used to waiting for climax that even when they feel pleasurable sensations on the first stroke, they do not think they are in orgasm. They assume orgasm has to be something equivalent to male ejaculation. We have written about this natural ability in our other books, yet some who have read them did not get the concept. They still thought they had to wait to feel orgasmic pleasure. Once they do get it, es- pecially our women students, they take off. They love it that there is no place they have to get to, that it is all about what is going on right now. It is so liberat- ing to tap into a potential that before had lain dormant. There it is on the first stroke, or even before. You don’t have to get anywhere—just feel it right now, right there on the clitoris. Most of our students feel it when we merely say the words, “Feel your clitoris.” To watch a woman remember her power, to see her turn on and light up just for the fun of doing so, is a thrilling experience.

Y Another Difference Between Z

Women and Men

We have had female students read their erotic journals to us. Vera, who is easy to turn on, would often feel the words in her genitals. We have found that women in general are more influenced by words, whether spoken or writ- ten, than men are. This is why many women like romance novels and most men just don’t get them. Many men are visually stimulated, so viewing an erotic pose could perhaps do the same for them. When our students read

their journals aloud I would report that the turn-on did not reach me. They would reread the same sentences with more feeling in their genitals, and
then
I could pick up the sensation in my loins. This was a huge “aha” moment for

the women in the group, for now they realized that all they had to do was feel the pleasure themselves and the man would also be able to feel it. Vera, or any other woman who is aware of her innate ability, could turn herself on with the

erotic words. It didn’t even matter if the student wasn’t feeling it. This shows how important it is for men to learn how to speak and write in ways that will be appreciated by women, and for women to realize that the way they feel can have a powerful effect on men (whether or not words are involved).

So a woman can instantly turn herself on whenever she decides to. Men cannot do so just by willing it. A man can use his mind and fantasize about something that turns him on, or he can use his visual receptors and look at pictures or videos that he finds stimulating. Some men can become confused about whether they are getting turned on by fantasizing or by the woman they are with. It is usually by the woman, but not always, and just because she is turning him on does not give him any “rights” to use his erection on her unless she gives him more direct information. He can ask her questions if the situa- tion warrants it, or he can just enjoy the pleasure of being turned on by her without mentioning it to her. Each situation is unique, and men have to learn which approach is most appropriate in different kinds of circumstances. The more a man has sex, including self-pleasuring, the less of a sense of scarcity he will attach to sex, and this will free him up to act in everyone’s best interest.

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The next chapter explores a number of different avenues for self-pleasuring. It describes how to create an IO in your own body and how to expand on those sensations, especially in women, and it gives men ways to enhance the amount of pleasure they can feel, too.

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self-Pleasure