Instinct (10 page)

“I have only
ever met with her on a Tuesday,” I managed, despite the roaring
inside my head.

James’s chair
scraped back, as he pushed to his feet. “Perhaps I shall see for
myself.”

I remained
rigid in my seat as he rounded the table.

He paused at
the exit and turned back. My swallow sounded loud to my ears, as I
watched him. In return, James’s gaze travelled over my body, across
the tension in my shoulders, the prominent tendons even I could
feel showing in my neck, to my hands, which tightened along with my
jaw. With a small smile, he tugged open the door and disappeared
outside.

Three pairs of
eyes stared toward James’s departure. Only Giles remained facing my
way.

I knew not what
his expression intended to relate, but his slight head inclination
toward the open door reminded me of the others’ distraction.

Without further
consideration, I leaped onto and across the table. My chair toppled
to the floor in my haste, and I threw myself outside before any of
them had a chance to respond.

James had
already hit the trees, his receding back visible amongst the bushes
and leafy trunks.

Rain pelted me
as I raced across the garden, adhering hair to my brow and sending
my bare soles slipping on the wet grass.

Pummelling feet
followed, calls to come back echoing behind.

I ignored them
and ducked into the forest, taking a more direct route than
James.

Knowing where
she would wait gave me an advantage—and not my only one. Wolfsbane
had taught me that I could change whilst mobile, an ability none of
the others had ever tried to master.

As my feet
drummed the muddied ground, understanding my speed would be far
greater as wolf, I called forth my change.

I soon left the
others behind and, thankfully, did not cross James’s scent on my
route to the fallen trunk. Although I slowed my pace before
nearing, the consideration did nothing to eliminate Jem’s startled
expression, upon seeing me arrive as a wolf.

She looked
beyond me for a moment before turning back with a frown. “Sean?”
The unsure smile she attempted reflected her confusion.

Head down, I
padded toward her, the thoughts that had dominated my mind during
the run continuing to scream. Yet, within seconds of Giles’s words,
I had known I would do it.

She peered off
again, as though expecting to see the reasoning for my form. “Are
you in trouble?”

My attention
did not leave her whilst I struggled to win my inner battle, but I
had no choice.

I continued
forward until close enough to touch.

Her head
whipped back to me, and as I held her eyes to mine, she seemed to
sense my uncertainty. She reached out a hand, offering comfort and
convincing me further. “Sean, what is wrong?”

Her fingers
pushed into the thick ruffle of fur surrounding my throat, and her
frozen skin told me how long she had waited for me to come. I
leaned into her, hoping to offer warmth, and she knelt before me,
her arm encircling my neck as her face brushed my muzzle. When my
canine purr kicked up a low tune, her other hand joined in the
caress.

To be touched
that way by her, whilst I stood as wolf, toppled my emotions over
the edge.

My tongue
tasted the pulsating flesh below her ear. I closed my eyes for a
moment as I savoured her flavour in an effort to quiet my mind. I
told myself that she would understand, and my resolve strengthened,
more so as I recalled her words that she would do anything to be
with me.

Anything
, she had said.

One small twist
of my head brought her wrist within reach.

I opened my
jaws.

And bit
her.

She jerked back
with a pained gasp, her eyes full of incomprehension as they sought
mine from beneath a brow deeply creased.

Natural
instinct drew my tongue back to the wound, already crimson from her
spilling blood, but she pushed back, snatching her trembling hand
away.

“What are you
doing, Sean?” Her panic could be heard in her voice and seen in her
widening eyes, before her lips parted in a startled cry. That,
coupled with the clutching of her wounded arm, told me when my
venom found home in her bloodstream.

Remaining
sentry at her side, refusing to leave her, I forced my reverse
change into motion at a speed I would, otherwise, have considered
impossible.

Silent screams
filled my head from the pressure I put upon my muscles to perform
without recuperation from my initial change. The restructure of
broken ribs sent waves of nausea through me, but I could only focus
on the agony in Jem’s eyes and her gasps, as they grew louder and
evolved into whimpering cries.

No matter how
much pain she appeared to be in, her gaze never once left mine.

By the time I
thrust forth from my change, I was dizzy with adrenaline. Sweat
coated my skin as though I had bathed in it.

Ignoring the
burning aches and the chill of cool air over my damp body, I
crawled to her side and lifted her shuddering body into my
arms.

“W-what have
you d-done t-to me?” Her teeth clattered with her effort to
speak.

“Forgive me,
Jem.” Beads of perspiration rose to the surface of her skin, as I
brushed hair from her brow. “It was the only way.”

The venom
showed in the swelling of her vein when I raised her twitching arm
for inspection, and I followed its passage through her bicep to her
shoulder, to where the drumming at her neck increased as her body
tried to resist the invasion. On a cough, a trickle of white frothy
phlegm spilled from her mouth.

I had not
expected such an adverse reaction. My rationality had assumed the
bite would simply turn her, and she would become like me within
minutes, but that did not appear to be happening. However much it
affected her, though, we had little choice but to move. The others
would soon track my scent and find us, and to remain in the forest,
with Jem in such a vulnerable condition, would be dangerous for
her.

Scooping her
up, I hugged her close to my chest and took off toward home, but we
did not get far before violent shaking drew my eyes back down, and
my heart seized at the upward rolling of Jem’s eyes.

Thick discharge
bubbled past her lips, and a convulsion racked her body, making it
impossible to support her, and dropping to my knees, I laid her on
the sodden ground.

With my pulse
coursing my blood to a panic, I could scarcely think, nor barely
see through tears pooling in my eyes.

“So it is not
merely a human you choose over your pack, but a sick one at
that.”

My head snapped
up at James’s voice. When he took a step forward, instinct to
protect Jem kicked in, and I threw my body across hers with a snarl
ripping from my throat.

His stride
faltered, and the scowl wiped from his face.

“Move from my
path,” I said through clenched jaw. “I am taking her home.”

His scowl
returned. “And I have told you, I will not have a human in my
home.”

“
Our
home
!” I roared. “And Jem is no longer human.”

My words must
not have immediately registered with James, as he did not react
until his gaze fell on the blood and pus weeping from her wrist.
Mouth opening, he swept his hands into his hair, remaining that way
for seconds before he spoke. “What have you done?” Rage overcame
his features, as he lowered his stiffened arms to his sides. “What
have you
done
?”

He flew at me,
but I leaped up to meet him before he could draw near Jem. Ramming
my shoulder into his body with a snarl, I took him down to collide
with the floor and, hands grasping his shirt collar, pinned him
there. “Do not take me on over her, James. I
will
fight
you.”

With a further
nudge that sprayed mud out from beneath him, I stepped back to
Jem.

Her body had
ceased to shake, and I cradled her in my arms as I strode away
toward home.

The scuff
behind me warned of James climbing to his feet. “You must
understand you have just killed her yourself, Sean. She cannot
possibly survive the bite.”

I turned back
to look at him. “You are wrong. Jem possesses strength and
determination—they will ensure she awakens.”

“No human has
ever survived a bite before.”

Eyes narrowing,
I held Jem tighter. “The bites did not kill them—they died because
none have ever been permitted to live.”

“For good
reason.”

My lips drew
back, and another snarl ripped free, the rumbling within my chest
vibrating through me even once I paced away.

His footsteps
pursued. “Would you dare defy me, Brother?” he shouted.

I peered back
over my shoulder to see unexpected desperation in his eyes. “For
her?” I nodded. “Yes.”

The walk back
to the house took longer than I would have wished, and I passed the
rest of the pack on the way. All of them stared at me in disbelief
before looking in equal surprise at James, who trailed at my
rear.

Through the
kitchen I carried her, and up the stairs to my room, where I laid
her on my bed. Once settled close enough to protect and comfort
her, I awaited the arrival of my mate.

Jem’s grunts from beyond the bush
revealed the stage of her change. From our first shared lunar
event, every sensation of her changes had tore through me, sharing
with me her agony, like a union of heart and soul. As a result, I
already knew rapid hair growth bestowed itself upon her body, as
did the stretching of her tendons and re-knitting of flesh. Further
minutes passed, and I mirrored her progression with that of my own,
before matching her snarled triumph upon completion as wolf.

My snorted
breaths steamed the chill winter air. Each inhalation drew in the
fresh crispness of the forest, enhanced by its frosted layer that
coated like sifted sugar, and the banquet of succulent offerings
inhabiting our land. Through those, more powerful and important to
me than any other, came the warm and comforting scent of my
mate.

The pad of my
paws made little noise upon the frozen, compacted ground. A peer to
my left would have revealed Jem had I wished. The lack of foliage
did little to block the paleness of her coat, as it did the
moonlight that highlighted her beauty.

Those brief
glimpses never seemed enough, however. Only rounding the barrier
would offer reprieve to the disquiet in my mind, created by our
temporary separation.

As always, she
awaited my approach. Her eyes met mine upon emergence and held the
glisten of anticipation fed by the presence of foxes—a delicacy Jem
had grown a yearning for.

At the brush of
my body, a tremor swept through her. As my tongue groomed across
her muzzle, her eyes closed, and a low rumble began its tune within
her chest. She tilted her face, pushed into the thick ruffle of fur
surrounding my throat, until my own body shuddered in response.

It had taken
time to reach such a point of acceptance from her. Upon awakening
from the bite, only screams of terror had flown from her lips.
Placation had not been easy—Jem’s flee for her home resulted in an
unwilling change, thanks to the guarding Wolfsbane, and she had to
be returned in her collapsed state to where she belonged at my
side. Days had passed with Jem’s sobs for her mother, until my
words of apology and begging for understanding penetrated her
refusal to listen.

She had finally
allowed me back into her embrace.

I had scarcely
left there since.

At my
encouragement, Jem’s integration into the pack had begun. Amongst
my brothers, curiosity won out for the new female—something never
before heard of within our race—and their interest brought them
closer to Jem.

Four full moons
later, the pack’s scorn toward Jem no longer existed, nor did their
denial of inclusion. I’d achieved what I would have considered
impossible. My brothers within the pack titled her ‘sister’.

At the more
than familiar wolf song calling to us from the south in an
invitation to unite, Jem’s muzzle withdrew from my throat, and her
gaze met mine, before a dance of her paws portrayed her
excitement.

From deep
within my chest, my response seeded, and the song erupted from my
mouth.

The scrape of
claws exposed Jem’s action a half breath before she took off. Dirt
dislodged with each kick back of her paws and sprayed up to cloud
my eyes, whilst her tail waved a teasing farewell.

My growled
warning stalled her.

She skidded to
a halt and whirled to whine out her complaint.

Laughter
bubbled to echo through my mind at the impatience glowing from her
eyes. Three steps took me to her, where I paused only a beat before
my nudge gave permission.

Through the
sparkling surroundings, we raced—together—as I had dreamed of from
the first day I laid eyes on her.

Side by side,
breath for breath, beat for beat.

As I believe
them to be the most deserving, because putting up with the
ignorance naturally instilled in a writer is HARD, my first thanks
goes to Mr B, The Boy and Boop.

Following
those, in no particular order, are:

Carla Huxley,
for her constant support and encouragement, and for reading
everything I’ve ever written, no matter the genre or how rough it
happens to be.

Aimee Laine for
ensuring I believe in myself, and for falling in love with this
story when I thought I’d written something on a self-indulgent whim
that only I would want to read. Also for helping me to keep the
familiar covers for the Holloway Pack as I take steps on this
self-publishing venture.

The guys at
Scribophile who critiqued this story for me, way back when it was
originally titled
Animal Attraction
, and helped to spur the
arrival of even more Holloway Pack ideas.