Instinct (9 page)

“I need you,
also.”

“Just not as
much.”

“Yes—
more
.” The passion in my answer deepened my voice, as I
reached out to her. “The bond I have with my pack is a powerful
one, Jem. Please understand, it is not something that can be easily
broken. You cannot appreciate the lengths I went to, to defy them,
simply to allow me time with you. To choose between you and my pack
is an impossible decision for me. I want both.” Rubbing at my face,
I shrugged my shoulders in frustration. “I
need
both.”

“But if your
brother—”

I pressed my
lips to hers. “I will find a way.” I stretched around to fasten her
dress before kissing her again. “But you must hurry. Do not worry
about me. I promise to meet you again.”

“Tomorrow?” she
asked. “Do not make me wait a full week, Sean. Please, do not make
me wait.”

Although unsure
how I would achieve it, I nodded. “Tomorrow.”

I would have had a better chance of avoiding
trouble—or even constructing a lie—had I made it home without
bumping into James. Instead, I encountered him in the clearing Jem
and I had recently vacated.

Crouched down,
he sniffed at his fingers. “Blood,” he said, without looking
up.

My step paused,
but I remained quiet.

“Human blood.”
As he straightened, his narrowed stare skimmed over my missing
attire. “Belonging to a female. Is it hers?”

Still, I did
not speak, merely kept my eyes focused on him.

“The forest
stinks of her, Sean. Enlighten me as to your reasoning for bringing
some
human
into my forest.”

“
Our
forest. And must you speak of her with such contempt?”

His head
dipped, as his hands fisted. “How long?” When I frowned, he
continued, “How long have you spent your time with her? For how
many weeks?”

“Eleven,” I
said, my voice low.

“End it.”

I shook my
head. “No.”

When he took a
step forward, I tensed for attack. None came, but the effort to
remain calm showed in his taught muscles. “So, you break rules by
bringing a human into my forest, and now you disobey me?”

“
Our
forest,” I said again.

His jaw
tightened, as did his fists. “You must know you cannot continue to
see her.”

“I intend to
find a way.”

“Our world is
no place for a human.” Lip curling, he spat out, “They are
weak
!”

My own hands
clenched, as I shifted forward. “I will protect her.”

James’s laugh
held no humour. “She will not always be within your sights.”

“I will ensure
she is.”

“How? By taking
her on a hunt?” He sneered. “Have you even thought any of this
through?”

“Of course,” I
lied.

“So, tell me,
Sean ...” His direct stare appeared calm, yet I knew him well
enough to understand what his tense stance could precede. “How
would you keep your nature a secret from her?”

I failed to
disguise my reaction. The jolt that shot through me widened my eyes
before I could control it.

James flew at
me. Fast. Too fast for me to take even so much as a backward step.
Clutching at my shirt front, he shook my feet from the ground.
“
No
!” He snarled as he shoved me back.

Bark bit into
my shoulder blades, and the impact brought my skull crashing back,
light exploding behind my eyes. I scrambled to find ground, as my
feet left it again.

When James
threw me to the side, I grasped hold of his shirt, hauling him down
with me.

We hit the
ground with a grunt, both spinning to face the other.

I threw my
right fist at him, unbalancing myself, but gave only a glancing
blow to his jaw.

His head jerked
slightly before he turned back to me, his glowering eyes showing
his outrage at my attack. The retaliatory punch he threw connected
with my ribs and sent a loud crack echoing against the trees.

My breaths
panted from me, as I dropped back to the ground, and before I could
even capture my breath, he charged.

I rolled from
his path, crying out at the pain caused by the action, and surged
to my feet. At my pathetic attempt to catch him with a left thrust
of my fist, agony erupted through me like lava upon ice.

He stepped back
before I could retry, fury burning in his glare and a trail of
crimson flowing from his lip. “You dare to challenge me, Sean?” He
spat a glob of blood to the ground before turning back to me. “Over
a
whore
?”

With a snarl, I
flew at him, my shoulder smacking into his chest. The instant his
feet left the ground, I drove him down hard onto his back. “Jem is
not a whore.” I stood over him, swaying against the headiness of my
pain. “She is my
mate
.”

When he didn’t
immediately speak, I took a step away—but I should have recognised
the darkening of his eyes, before his lips drew back to release the
building growl from his chest.

On his feet
before I could retreat, he dived straight into attack and knocked
me onto my back.

One fist struck
my jaw, the next my nose; the first sent an explosion of pain
through my skull, the second resulted in the collapse of
cartilage.

I shoved at him
with my hands, but rage possessed him, pumping the strength of
adrenaline into his blows, and agony added to agony already
present. Flecks of blood invaded my eyes, to haze vision that had
already begun to blur.

A voice cut
through the fog of my mind. “James,
no
!”

The raining
pummels ceased, but James’s body still vibrated above me.

“You made the
promise to your father, to protect him.” That time, I recognised
Edward’s deep bass. “This is no way to treat your brother.”

Moments passed
before the heavy weight shifted from my chest. Fingers circled my
ankle, and a beat later, the hand’s owner dragged me, stones and
twigs scraping against my bare flesh, as my body and mind attempted
to register what had just happened.

I did not
remember much after that.

***

I woke to pain.
In my head, face, torso—everywhere.

It could have
been a lot worse, and would have been, if not for my natural
ability to heal faster than a human. That did not mean bruising
would be absent—or other injuries, for that matter.

A lift of my
knees had me groaning against the damage to my ribs, and the roll
of my body had my eyes opening, when I realised my bed did not
support me.

Bare walls
greeted me with a glance to the left. The naked ceiling of the
cellar loomed above.

I slammed my
fists down upon the cold floor. “
No
!”

With a hand
pressed against my torso in support, I pushed into a sitting
position, before shuffling across the floor, teeth gritted, until
beneath the door.

Footsteps
circled the kitchen above me, followed by the quiet murmur of a
voice.

James
.

An involuntary
growl rumbling from me, I dropped my head back against the
unforgiving stone at my rear.

Trying the door
would be a wasted effort. James would not have tossed me into the
cellar if he did not intend to keep me locked up. Rather than wait,
or do nothing, I pushed to my feet to check the extent of the
damage he had inflicted.

As expected, my
ribs did not rejoice in my altered posture, and my head filled with
the abstraction that always followed a good beating. A touch of my
fingertips to my face revealed puffiness, a result of swelling
tissue, mostly around my right eye and nose—nothing I could not
cope with.

I tested my
legs with a handful of steps, relieved when they appeared
unscathed. At least I had the ability to be mobile, and slowly
pacing the room unknotted muscles stiffened by the hard floor. As I
trod stone, I calculated—yet, even after what seemed half a day, my
brain conjured no answers to my situation.

After all, what
could I do from within the cellar?

But then, what
would I do if released from there?

My promise to
Jem would be broken, because James would never permit me to see
her, just as he would never allow me to bring her to our home.

To bring Jem—a
human—after our fight would surely sign her death warrant.

My step
faltered.

I worked back
through my musings, to find what had caused the stumble, but could
not locate it before the door opened. An inhalation identified food
and Giles, before he descended, and I breathed out my relief.

He paused on
the bottom step, his headshake showing his pity. “Was she really
worth it, Sean?”

“She
is
worth it,” I said, ignoring his chosen tense.

Nodding, he
held out the plate of food. “Breakfast.”

“I have no urge
to eat.”

He did not
argue, as though I had given the answer he expected. “What do you
plan to do?” he asked, placing the eggs and bread on the sole
table.

I shrugged.

He came nearer,
keeping his voice low. “You must have thought this through, Sean.
Where did you see this ending? With a bride, children—a home of
your own, perhaps?”

“
This
is
my home. And, no, I had not thought that far ahead. I just know I
need to be with her.”

“James will
never sanction the knowledge of the pack being in the hands of an
outsider.”

“She is not an
outsider in my mind.”

He leaned his
rump against the table edge. “However strongly you feel about her,
she is not a member of this pack.”

I frowned, but
as his words slowly sank in, my blood surged through me, my pulse
picking up. “She could be.”

“James would
never allow a human to enter the pack. Think on it, Sean ...”

My mind drifted
from his voice as my thoughts whirled. No, James would never permit
her access, not unless— “You are right.”

The erupted
words cut his speech short, and he stared at me a moment, as though
disbelieving the ease with which he had my agreement. “Good.” He
patted my shoulder, and I hid my wince. “Now eat your
breakfast.”

Stepping away,
I shook my head.

“You must eat.
Twenty-four hours is too long to go without food.” He leaned in
close and lowered his voice. “I fear James has yet to finish with
you. You will need your strength.”

Relenting, I
picked up the plate, and when I shovelled in the first mouthful, he
gave a slight nod and headed back up to the house.

***

I did not have
to wait long for the cellar door to open again.

My chin lowered
and shoulders stiffened, as my eyes trained on the entrance, and a
conscious effort had to be made to control the rumble vibrating
through me.

James halted at
the bottom of the stairs. “Have you slept off your
irrationality?”

I studied him
whilst formulating a response that would get me out of the cellar,
noticing his face bore no reminder of my blows. Ensuring my hands
remained uncurled, I nodded.

“Good. You may
join us, then.”

As he turned to
ascend, I trailed behind.

The kitchen
offered brightness the dusty cellar had not, despite the rain
pounding the window. Squinting against the light, I peered around
the room at the rest of the pack, before, unbidden, my attention
shifted to the back door, my mind instantly calculating how far
away it stood, and what my chances were of reaching it before James
could react.

“Sit.”

I switched my
gaze back to James, but his narrowing eyes told me he had caught my
deviant glance.

“I said,
sit
.”

The feet of my
chair screeched against the tiles as I dragged it back, and my ribs
protested against the folding of my body as I obeyed. I disguised
my pain with a grit of my teeth, refusing to allow James to witness
it.

“I need to
discuss something with you.” He drew out his own chair to sit.

I have
nothing to say to you
, balanced on the tip of my tongue, but I
held it back.

“You meet with
this female each Tuesday, is that correct?”

My gaze darted
toward the forest, at the thought of Jem waiting there for me and
my broken promise to meet with her, before I dipped my head in
admittance.

“How long has
she known about you—about us?” He leaned back in his seat, most
likely watching for any sign of dishonesty, or for the tiniest
twitch of a lie.

“Not before
yesterday.”

“Did you tell
her, Sean?”

I went to shake
my head but paused. If I told him no, he would demand to know how
she had found out. Sharing the Wolfsbane information would bring
certain death for Jem’s entire family. Holding my tongue, I sent
him a nod.

“She could have
imparted the information to others by now.” His quiet voice did not
fool me into believing he remained calm.

I stared him in
the eye. “She will not tell.”

“You cannot
know that.”

“I know Jem.
She is loyal to me.”

“Which is more
than you have been to
us
.” James’s voice notched deeper, and
a mumble rolled along the table, as Philip sounded his
agreement.

Before I could
snap out my opinion of his interference, I met Giles’s gaze. He
gave a slight shake of his head.

“You will not
meet with her Tuesday next.”

I spun back to
face James.

“Leave it with
me,” he continued. “I shall meet with her, and I will take care of
this situation you have gotten us into—”

I shook my
head. “No.”

“You have left
me no choice. Tuesday next, I shall ...” He trailed off, as my
focus flicked toward the forest, and when I looked back, his gaze
locked onto me. “You did not plan to wait that long to meet with
her ... did you, Sean?”