Insufferable Proximity (54 page)

She threw every single oversized suit in the bag, every corset that flattened her breasts, the granny panties and the shoes. She had decided to keep a pair of her more attractive, black-rimmed glasses but only for reading. She tugged the bags out to her back yard and threw them all in the large garbage pail then grabbed the lighter fluid and the matches. She stood there watching them burn, feeling a bit dramatic, but not wanting to take the chance that in a moment of weakness she might fold and hide behind her ugly clothes again. She was not aware of what she had been doing at the time, but now she knew and she never wanted to fall victim to that again.

She didn’t feel that way anymore, now she felt sexy and she wanted to look how she felt. She was also a little irritated with her foolish belief that those hideous suits had gotten her respect. It wasn’t the clothing, it was her and she would never allow them to disrespect her, regardless of what she wore, nor would she let clothing take the credit for what she had accomplished. She was too intelligent and won to many cases to ever be looked down upon by any other lawyer. She knew how to handle herself now and she would crush all opponents as she always did, only now she would be doing it in style. After a long, restless evening with only herself and a bottle of wine for company, she finally fell asleep.

***

Heaven stood before her large oval mirror, she had only gotten a few hours of sleep and now that the wine had worn off, she no longer felt invincible. Part of her wanted to just crawl back in bed and sleep until tomorrow and if it would actually help her troubles, she would do just that. But she realized that sleeping the day away would only mean that she would have to face her problem the next day instead of already having dealt with it, like she would have if she had just faced it in the first place. It was like removing a bandage that was fused to the top layer of skin, it was best to just rip it off as quickly as possible instead of slowly peeling it away and prolonging the pain.

She knew in order for her to be at her full confidence, she would have to be the Heaven Deville she was before the contract, which meant going back to the unattractive image she felt most comfortable portraying. She searched through her entire closet, praying she had one spare oversized pantsuit and to her utter relief, she found one buried in a box in the back of her closet. It was one she had bought and never wore, truthfully, she had forgotten about it. She looked it over, realizing just how ugly the suit really was, but needing to feel like her old self again, she quickly slid it on then looked at herself in the mirror.

Heaven could not take her eyes off the unappealing woman whose reflection stared back at her in the mirror. It was heartbreaking to her to see how easily she could slip back into the anti-sexual tyrant she had so willingly created. She looked as horrible as she felt, the suit was so large she was unable to even find her own curves. She had spent most of her life hiding her body and now that she had finally gotten used to the idea of showing a little skin, she was had to conceal it all back up.

She stared at her reflection for over fifteen minutes before she finally realized she could not go back to that so quickly. She may be able to look the part again, but she did not feel it right now and could not even stand to look at herself in the disguise any longer. She felt like she was suffocating in the oversized suit, as if the thick polyester fabric was wrapping around her like a boa constrictor, sucking the new life from her. So without another thought, she stripped the suit off then strutted back into her closet wearing only her white cotton panty set.

She opted for the grey, high-waist, pencil skirt with a slit up the back that emphasized her tiny waste, her rounded hips and behind. She couldn’t take her eyes off herself, once again amazed by the transformation, she examined her own curves and thought about the expression on Julian’s face when he saw her. She tucked in her white, button-up shirt with the short bell sleeves and a thin ruffle going down the pleated front. Her blazer matched her skirt, but was adorned with platinum buttons and tiny vertical zippers on the side pockets. She accessorized with platinum jewelry of course, her wrist covered with heavy bangles and tiny diamond studs in her ears. She wore her hair pulled back in one very long and straightened ponytail that hung sleekly down her back.

She stepped back and took one last look at herself, praying that she had the strength to deal with Julian’s presence today. She then collected her wits, took a deep breath and headed off to work.

***

All eyes were on Heaven the moment she walked through the doors at work. She could feel the glares from Lila, Juliette and a few of the other secretaries. That was when Heaven noticed that one of the secretaries, Gloria Gray was smiling directly at her, letting her know without using words that she more than approved of her new look.

“Oh god, the evil bitch stared at me, I think I feel my foot turning to stone.” Adele snickered.

“No that’s just your scalp drying up due to lack of re-growth.” Gloria retorted.

“Bitch.” Adele hissed.

“Fashion victim,” Gloria dramatically tossed her thick hair to the side with a snide grin before she continued, “besides, I think she looks hot.” she added for good measure, not needing to turn around and look at Juliette to know she was directing her murderous scowl towards Gloria’s back.

“She looks ridiculous in those glasses.” Juliette said, not wanting to appear jealous or even overly-concerned, despite the jealousy she felt burning deep in the core of her soul. She refused to let these women know how insecure she really was when it came to Miss Deville.

“No she doesn’t, those glasses are adorable and they go with that suit perfectly. I love those glasses.” Gloria said, of the thin black framed glasses, “Besides, she is pretty enough to get away with them.”

“Yeah, I like them too.” Reese said.

“You would.” Juliette whispered under her breath before walking away from the group of women who she was beginning to despise. She hurried towards her office, silently passing by Heaven on her way.

***

Heaven was attempting to blindly walk down the hallway, but could not avoid seeing Julian standing before the entrance to his office, speaking to his secretary, Emma Cooke. Heaven held her composure as she continued down the hall, refusing to even glance at him as she walked past and straight to her office. She realized she had been holding her breath as she opened her office door and rushed inside, locking it behind her. She collapsed in her chair, taking a deep breath as she wondered how the hell she was going to get through the rest of the day, because all it took was one quick glance in Julian’s direction and she felt her body instantly begin to react.

Julian frowned as he watched Heaven walk by, refusing to look at him and not even speaking. He realized it was hard for her, part of her still disliked him, and no matter how small that part was it still forced her to hold back. A part of him wanted to go to her and demand she speak to him, but he would give her today to become adjusted to their new relationship. But after today, she had better be prepared, because he had no idea how long he would be able to wait before he approached her.

***

The lawyer who had won the partnership at King Law firm was announced that afternoon to the surprise to everyone working, and Heaven sat in the boardroom overwhelmed with anger and teetering on the verge between belligerence and tears.

Julian had won of course, he was to become partner and in retrospect, her superior. She felt her chest constricting, her breathing was becoming unstable and she knew she had to get out of that room before she humiliated herself. Once Julian’s name had been announced everyone had stood up to congratulate him and Heaven snuck through the attorneys to get out of the room.

She walked straight to her office, oblivious to all the secretaries watching her storm past them.

“What’s the matter with the self-appointed queen bee?” Adele asked as she watched Heaven walk by.

“She must have lost.” Gloria said with a look of disappointment, she had been rooting for Heaven to win.

“Thank god! I am so happy she did not win.” Juliette’s smiled in satisfaction, “hopefully she will be so upset that she decides to quit.”

“Ding-dong, the bitch is gone.” Adele said in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up Juliette.” Gloria frowned, then in the distance she heard Heaven’s office door slam.

Heaven stormed into her office, her lungs were on fire and she was having difficulty breathing. She was caught between screaming and crying but there was no outlet to release either emotion in her office. She paced the floor, her angry steps loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door, where Julian now stood.

He opened the door to see her pacing and he knew that she was on the verge of hysterics. He quickly shut the door and walked over to her.

“Get out!” she hissed at him as he continued into her office then sat on the charcoal sofa by the door.

“You knew you had a fifty percent chance of losing, just like you knew only one of us was going to win.”

“And it should have been me! I worked my ass off for that position! This is your fault!”

“My fault?”

“If you hadn’t of forced me to serve a thirty-day, jail sentence I would have won that position fair and square!”

“No, if you had of played by the rules and not tried to destroy my chances of winning, you wouldn’t have served those thirty days in the first place.”

“I hate you!” she yelled and for some reason it cut Julian to the core. She had said it a million times to him in the past and it had never bothered him, but now it was making him a little crazy.

“Don’t blame me because you lost. You had just as much time to work on it as I did, I even bought you your own desk.”

“You’re such a liar! You may have bought me that desk but you never let me work on anything, I was at your beck and call every second of the day, even at work!” she ranted.

“I worked the same amount of time you did and I still won.” he stood up, he needed to get away from her, his temper was escalating as quickly as hers was. Normally he would say vicious things in retaliation, and they would go back and forth for days, but now things were different. Even his anger towards her felt different, it felt more realistic and much more personal than it had felt before. “Now stop being a spoiled brat, Princess and tell me congratulations.”

“Over my dead body.” she hissed and was so angry that she left her own office and headed out to the cafeteria. When she entered the room she saw the big congratulations sign and a large cake on the table. Everyone in the room looked up at her in excitement before they realized she was not Julian. She was ready to get a fresh cup of coffee and lock herself in her office for the rest of the day when Julian walked in behind her.

“Surprise!” the secretaries yelled out to him and he stopped to look at them.

“Congratulations!” Juliette said as she walked over to him and before he knew it he was swarmed by the secretaries, “I know the firm is throwing you an official party, but we wanted to show our appreciation for you in our own way.”  Juliette wrapped her arm in his and led him to the cake, “I made this all by myself, especially for you.” she batted her eyes with as much seduction as she could muster.

“We
all
helped Mr. King, congratulations.” Adele said shaking his hand with the look of a giddy school girl.

“Yes but
I
made the cake.” Juliette said through narrowed eyes and the secretaries tried to hide their disgust at Juliette’s selfish antics. Julian was not paying attention to any of them at that point, he was too consumed with Heaven.

***

Heaven lay down on her bed, looking up at the white ceiling, thankful that the day was over. Today had been a true testament of her will and her control over her emotions. She had been forced to put herself to the test and she only prayed tomorrow would be a little easier, because there was no way she could continue on in the same fashion. She would either give in to her body’s demands or she would choke him on the spot.

***

Heaven woke up early the next morning and had decided to wear one of her sexier suits to work. She wasn’t sure why she would dare to tempt Julian or herself for that matter, but she couldn’t resist. She kept reminding herself that she didn’t want anything to do with Julian, that he was too demanding and way to controlling for them to ever truly get along. Not to mention the fact that she felt he was partially responsible for her losing the partnership. She continued to remind herself of that as she drove to work, her inner voice getting louder as she neared her office.

As soon as Heaven stepped through the doors, she rose to her full height, raised her chin arrogantly then strutted down the hall like a royal queen as the employees watched her. She was early and assumed she wouldn’t run into Julian since he was notoriously late but was surprised to see him grabbing a cup of coffee from the cafeteria. She refused to look directly at him, instead passing by like she didn’t even know him. She was trying not to notice how handsome he looked in his dark suit or the expertise tailoring that managed to emphasize his tall, muscular frame. She sped her step up, almost speed-walking to her office before shutting herself in, deciding to wait at least fifteen minutes before she ventured out for coffee.