Intergalactic Terrorist (New Dimension Book 1) (35 page)

    The Overseer leaned forwards and taped a finger on the table.

    “
You need to learn some respect for authority boy,
” he said coldly. “
Respect that you would learn from
Reformatory.
”

    Rufi smashed his fists onto the table. Sparks flew from his knuckles, forcing everyone in the room to jump to attention. “You cannot be seriously thinking of still sending him to jail!” he shouted. “After all you have just heard?”

    “
He is a criminal!
”

    “He could be a saviour!”

    “
That is for
me
to decide!
”

    “Claptrap!” Rufi rose from his seat. “This is not your decision!”

    “
You would dare to challenge me?
”

    Rufi laughed. “Look here, in my dimension
I
am in control. You have no jurisdiction over me or the things I decide.”

    “
Pinwright is
my
prisoner and I will do with him as
I
see fit!
”

    “
Gentlemen please,
” said Zeos standing, “
this is intolerable. If you do not cease this childish behaviour and talk like two adults then I will see to it that you do not gain entrance into a happy afterlife!
”

    The Overseer scoffed. “
Mr god-type fellow, I highly doubt that either myself or the High Immaculate Enchanter will be seeing a happy eternity when we die anyway.
”

    “If you were a
real
god then surely you would know that already,” chuckled Count Pracular. “There should be no debate. Send the Human back home. The sooner I no longer have to be in the presence of this fake deity the better!”

    “I for one think he should remain,” said Mayor Rajar. “Intelligeous Prime seems to have done quite well out of this new dimension.”

    “Hang on a damn moment,” Charlie shouted over the commotion that was rapidly growing out of control. “Shouldn’t it be
my
choice if I go back or not?”

    It seemed the general consensus was no.

    There was a time out called as the Overseer and Rufi left the table to discuss what to do with the Human. Lemor’all and Shagbag joined Rufi whilst the Lampan and the May’orn joined the Overseer.

    Charlie looked around the table and found everyone there was staring at him. He smiled awkwardly and nodded to them. He found his eyes drawn to Count Pracular.

    “So,” he said slowly, “you’re a Vampire then?”

    Pracular looked at Charlie blankly. “It would appear so,” he said solemnly.

    “Well,” Charlie continued, “I didn’t expect that one. So you actually… bite necks and drink blood and all that?”

    The Vampire nodded his head and yawned, bored now by the sound of the Human's voice.

    “Crikey,” said Charlie. “That’s a bit weird.” He whistled softly to himself and smiled.

    To the others at the table it would seem that Charlie Pinwright had slightly lost his mind. And they were right.

    “Are you feeling alright good chappy?” asked SuperSquire. “A lot has been put on your shoulders.”

    Charlie laughed. “There’s always been a lot on my shoulders. My big head for one!” He looked at SuperSquire’s outfit and frowned. “Why, you’re very stereotypical aren’t you?” he said.

    The others returned to the table.

    “It is decided,” said Rufi.

    “
Charlie is going home,
” said the Overseer.

    Generally, this seemed acceptable. The people stood, said their pleasantries and began to leave the room.

    Naroula-Iyana’s giant fish tank rolled on its wheels out of the room, a little fish in the water with her controlling the tanks movements with a small joystick. Drips of salty water from within splashed out of the top of the tank onto the Overseer's shagpile carpet, much to the Dark Lord's disdain.

    Zeos, perturbed that no one had taken him seriously, vanished, safe in the knowledge that he was actually a god and it would be them that felt silly when they saw his face upon their deaths.

    Count Pracular followed Mayor Rajar's neck out of the room, licking his lips.

    SuperSquire pulled his knickers up tight and flew up through the ceiling.

    Soon only Charlie remained in the room, still tied to the chair. Was he really going home? Would he really get back to Earth? He closed his eyes and practically shook with joy, glad that very soon this nightmare would all be over.

Chapter 57

Two hours later, Charlie found himself in the control centre of the judgement ship, surrounded by the Overseer’s guards. The Overseer himself sat in his large chair staring at the giant screen in front of him, deep in concentration.

    Rufi, Fungust and Professor Amirous were there also. As was Princess An’ishia and Vegora Vrall who had requested to see Charlie off.

    Charlie would never admit it but he was a little disappointed that Greebol could not attend to say goodbye, but as he was a wanted man, he could understand why.

    On the large screen the edge of the new dimension shone intensely. The bright and daunting golden glow glared at them. The hole that Charlie had made coming through it could still be seen, but it was small and shrinking.

    “There isn’t much time,” gibbered Fungust, jumping up and down excitedly. “If the hole closes, the golden glow will vanish and we will all be stuck in this new dimension forever!”

    “
Charlie Pinwright,
” the Overseer said standing, “
my own personal shuttlecraft will carry you through the Enveloping Effect and back to your homeworld. The controls are pretty straightforward. Even someone like you should be able to master them. If not then you’ll probably die. But at least
we’ll
all be safe and back to normal!
”

    “Charming,” Charlie muttered and turned towards his friends. “Vrall,” he said extending a hand, “it’s been a pleasure. You are a true warrior.”

    Vegora Vrall looked at Charlie’s pink hand confused. He gave it an almighty whack with his rock hard fist. Charlie bit his lip to keep from screaming out, not wanting to show the muscular meat-head how much of a wimp he really was.

    “The Pleasure Has Been All Mine Charlie,” Vrall said with a smile on his pig-like face.

    “I really am sorry about hitting you with that book,” Charlie apologised sincerely.

    Vrall nodded. “It’s All Water Under The Bridge,” he said.

    It should be mentioned at this point that the bridge Vegora Vrall talked about was not the same bridge that Charlie was thinking of. As everyone knows, the bridge that Humans refer to is a little brick bridge that crosses a small stream in the North Yorkshire Moors in England. That bridge, which just happens to be the same bridge that the three Billy Goat Gruffs attempted to cross, often forgets about its quarrels with people, hence the expression was formed.

    The bridge Vegora Vrall spoke of was a giant, metal beast that crossed a great green sea on his homeworld that, in a brilliant act of manliness, he destroyed with his bare hands several years ago. Really it had no relevance to the current conversation.

    “You Are A Fine Warrior Charlie,” Vrall continued. “Be Safe.”

    Charlie nodded his head in thanks and then turned to An’ishia.

    “Bloody brute nearly broke my hand,” he whispered, stretching his fingers to make sure the bones in them were still tact. An’ishia laughed. It filled Charlie with a great sense of fulfilment seeing the girl of his dreams face light up. He was going to miss that face.

    “I’m going to miss having you around pink skin,” she said with a smile.

    “You are?”

    “Sure. Who will I have to boss about when you’re gone?” she leaned forwards and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Charlie blushed. He would never wash that cheek again. And you know what? He never did.

    “Take care of yourself Princess,” Charlie managed to say when his red cheeks began to return to their normal, pasty complexion, “and that kid of yours.”

    An’ishia lowered her eyes, trying to avoid the subject of the baby growing inside her belly. “Get going dumbo before that hole closes completely,” she said quickly, changing the subject.

    Charlie smiled, but there was a sadness behind it, and headed to the entrance of the shuttle at the far side of the control centre. He took one look back at the crowd of people.

    “I’d like to say I’ll miss you all,” he said, feeling that he had to have one final word of farewell, “but in truth there’s only one of you I’ll really miss.” He looked at An’ishia, his heart stung. “
I love you
,” he whispered, but soon realised that he had whispered it a lot louder than he had intended. In fact it was loud enough for all to hear, including the Princess. 

    “
Get out of here before I throw up inside my mask,
” the Overseer hollered.

    Charlie took a deep breath, turned and entered the shuttlecraft. He sat in the comfy seat and started up the engines. Gripping hold of the steering controls he carefully guided it away from the judgement ship and out towards the golden glow.

    Everything from then on should have been plain sailing. Unfortunately, for Charlie Pinwright, there was no such thing as a plain sail.

Chapter 58

High up on the outside hull of the judgement ship, X7421a crept silently, watching from its large headlight eyes as the small shuttlecraft headed away from the ship. The killer of X7421 and ally of the unwelcome was on that shuttle.

    It would not get away from X7421a!

    The Mechanoid crouched and (if it had any breath to hold) would have taken a deep intake of air (had there been any air in space). It sprang forwards, its thick metallic feet kicking off from the hull of the ship.

    Small thrusters on its back lit up and, with the help of the lack of gravity, flew through space towards the shuttle with deadly accuracy.

    It reached out a long arm with a lethal spinning saw on the end, ready to cut its way into the top of the shuttlecraft. Then, with an almighty crash, it landed exactly where it wanted to be, just a little bit harder than it had expected.

The shuttle shook violently, nearly knocking Charlie from his chair. He looked around in a wild panic, his hair a mess on top of his head.

    “What was that?” he said aloud as he pressed buttons wildly on the control panels that he really shouldn’t be pressing. A red light was flashing and there was a constant annoying warning sound, blurting throughout the room. Charlie, unable to find the button to switch it off, kicked the speaker it emitted from instead. Music began to play. The music wasn’t much better than the warning sound, but it was a start.

    Eventually, pressing a touch screen by his side, he managed to find out what was wrong. There was a hole in the top of the shuttlecraft, an area that led to a random space that seemed to have no use other than to give the shuttle a cool go-faster fin on the top.

    Luckily, the Overseer’s shuttle was top of the range and came with a ‘self-repair’ kit. Thousands of tiny metal ants that, working as one unit, could mend anything that had been broken. Within moments the hole had been patched, meaning Charlie had nothing to worry about.

    Except of course for what had made that hole in the first place.

    Deciding it was probably just a random bit of space rock, Charlie sat back in the comfy chair and tried to tune the music into another channel. Perhaps something with a bit of jazz. This seemed like a jazzy moment.

    The first flash of golden glow flickered in the window. The shuttle was beginning to enter. Charlie could see the hole he had made in clear view ahead. He was so close now to home, to his own dimension. So close to Earth.

    Earth. Now that he was by himself, Charlie’s heart began to beat quicker and quicker as he thought about his planet and about what was waiting for him on his return.

    A destroyed city and a couple of thousand dead city dwellers.

    A perfect way to start a Sunday morning.

    Charlie’s ears pricked up as he heard something clunking in the room behind him. It was nothing more than an airlock. Surely there was nothing inside there?

    The door suddenly ripped in two as the Mechanoid burst through, its wild, metal arms flailing in an attempt to connect with Charlie's head!

    X7421a’s landing had been
much
harder than anticipated, severely damaging its frame work and circuitry within in the process. Now it was a horrific sight; wires loose, patches of metal hanging off, an eye completely smashed. Its vocal chords had also been damaged, giving the Mechanoid a hissing, fizzing sound as it spoke.

  
 
“COLLABORATOR… OF… THE… NNNGGHHH… UNWELCOME…
”
it said, its metal head twitching as it shouted
.
“YOU… ARE… GUILTY… OF… DESTROYING… X7421… YOU… WILL… BE… NNNGGHH… DEACTIVATED!”

    Charlie Pinwright stared in horror as the robot began to advance towards him. His throat dried up and he froze to the spot.

    “
You
?” he screamed in terror. “I thought I’d seen the last of you!” But even as he said it he realised that this Mechanoid was different from the last. He realised another had been sent to kill him!

  
 
“YOU… WILL… BE… DEACTIVATED!”

    “About that,” said Charlie, hoping to reason with the tin can, “it doesn’t really sit well with me. You see… turns out I’m quite important. I know… who knew! You are obviously from a dimension full of robots and talking calculators and singing kettles and are finding all of us ‘living’ creatures highly annoying and full of emotions. I can help! I can return things to the way they were meant to be!”

    The Mechanoid did not seem to either hear nor care. Its sights were set on removing the life from Charlie. It sprang forward with a spiked arm and caught Charlie in the shoulder. With one, simple swing, it hurled the screaming Human to the other side of the room!

    Charlie hit the wall hard.

    The Mechanoid advanced once again. Charlie had to do something and quickly. He began to think. The problem here was quite an obvious one for any person who had been following Charlie’s life of present. Charlie Pinwright was a little slow. It wasn’t that he was unintelligent, just slow to think of the intelligent things. At school he was always the last to finish his work due to this. In fact most of the other pupils had already gone home and then come back for the next day by the time he realised which letter came after L in the alphabet. N obviously.

    An idea slowly began to creep into Charlie’s mind.

  
 
“JUSTICE… IS… SERVED…
”
X7421a laughed. Actually laughed. This was due to the malfunctioning in its programming but it was a laugh nevertheless.

    A laugh however was exactly the one thing that Charlie Pinwright did not want to hear, but was exactly the one thing that he needed to. For that laugh made Charlie mad. That old anger swelled up inside him. That old fuming rage that filled his body and boiled his blood. That frenzy that he could not control. Too much. Charlie was so close to getting back to his miserable life, so close to home. The last thing he needed now was a pissing sandwich toaster laughing at him.

    The bull smashed through the China shop, shattering ornaments, breaking tea sets, crashing down vases. And leaving without paying for the damage!

    Charlie ripped off one of his shoes, one of his oh-so-worn, oh-so-dirty, oh-so-wishes-it could-be-thrown-away shoes, and he threw it away. It flew through the air and hit the direct spot it was meant to at the other side of the room.

    An accurate shot was something that Charlie had in his favour, yet only when angry. The rest of the time his throwing was crap. He was never picked to be on the basketball team. Yet, when working at King George’s Electrical Repairs, whenever he had become angry at a stupid customer or his obnoxious boss, Charlie had screwed up the paper he was writing his notes on and thrown it as hard as he could across the room to vent his temper. After some time, the paper began to land in the bin. Soon every shot was a winner.

    Charlie’s angry shoe shot was a winner. It struck the button that opened the airlock door!

    “I got rid of your predecessor,” Charlie growled at the Mechanoid as the airlock door began to open, “and now I’m going to get rid of you as well! You’ve really pissed me off! And I was actually feeling quite alright with myself as well! Well thank you Mr Machine. Thank you for stopping me from being happy!”

    X7421a looked at Charlie a little perplexed. However it did not have time to dwell on his words as the airlock door opened to its maximum and the Mechanoid was sucked towards it. Charlie hung onto a handle on the wall for dear life as the Mechanoid, desperately grappling at the side of the doorframe, lost its grip and was hurtled out into space.

    The airlock door slowly closed and things returned to normal inside the shuttlecraft. Charlie, after several minutes catching his breath, released the handle and found he had actually squished finger delves into it. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he returned to the seat and tried to steer the shuttle back on course for the tear in the Enveloping Effect.

X7421a floated through space. It tried in vain to activate its thrusters. They had burnt out. With no hope of gaining any sort of control, and the horrific thought of floating through space for an eternity, X7421a triggered the shut down if its systems.

    One by one, every light on its body blinked off until eventually only the one eye remained lit. Then, with a tiny flicker, that too died, leaving the Mechanoid nothing more than a dark shape drifting forever through an eternal night.