Intimate Deception (12 page)

Grace clutched her hands to her middle, fearful she might be ill.

“Are you ready to pretend to all of London that the thought of being courted by the Duke of Raeborn doesn’t frighten you to death?”

Her gaze darted to his face. “Why should being courted by you frighten me?” She studied the formidable frown deepening on his forehead.

The corners of Raeborn’s mouth lifted slightly, but not enough to be called a smile. “You
have
been in the country and away from the gossip mills too long, my lady. Never fear, though. It won’t take long for someone to enlighten you to the fact that I long outlive my wives.”

Grace started to object but stopped when she took in the expression on his face. Surely he didn’t think he was responsible for the deaths of his wives. They had both died in childbirth. As did many women. That was hardly his fault.

He didn’t give her time to argue with him, but walked across the room and placed his hand on the knob. “Shall we begin?”

Grace hesitated a moment, then followed him on legs that threatened not to hold her. When she reached him she paused long enough to catch a glimpse of the man she’d deceived. A man she’d hoped would not notice he’d made love to a virgin. A man she’d hoped would not care if he did.

She wanted to say something to him. Needed to say something, but all that came from her mouth was “I’m sorry.”

Her admission softened his features. “As am I,” he answered. His expression told her he meant it. Before she could move, he placed a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up to his. “A smile would perhaps make our ruse a little more believable.”

Grace tried to smile, then swallowed hard and walked past him. She reached the hallway, where she was alone, and paused. For some reason she couldn’t explain, she placed a trembling hand on her stomach and held it there. How could she not want there to be a babe inside her? She’d ached her whole life to have a house filled with babes. Been desperate to have a home of her own and a husband who loved her. She’d wanted what each of her sisters had.

But not like this. Not having forced herself on a man who did not want her. Did not even like her.

Not living the rest of her life with a man she’d deceived.

H
e’d just come from spending an afternoon with her. From their ride through Hyde Park. From their first outing together. If their goal had been to surprise and shock the members of society, then the outing had been a rousing success. It seemed nearly everyone was out enjoying the warm day, even though it wasn’t yet spring. And his companion, Lady Grace Warren, was noticed by each and every one of them.

Raeborn placed his hat and gloves in Carver’s waiting hands and walked across the marble foyer toward his study. He stepped into the quiet room and closed the door behind him.

Soft rays of sunshine sifted through the windows, casting filtered shadows that stretched out across the floor. They nearly reached from one side of the room to the other. Warmth from the sunlight touched his cheeks, caressed him with the softness of a woman’s hand. As her hand had done when he’d lain with her before he knew who she was.

He drew his hand across his face, wanting to erase the memory. Yet in contrast, wanting to hold on to the feeling and never forget the emotions she’d awakened. He knew why his emotions were so at war with each other. Knew why the turmoil churning inside him was such a struggle.
She had done it. She had given him cause to hope when he’d convinced himself he was long past hoping. Given him cause to believe he’d received another chance to have what he’d always wanted in life. A wife. Children. A reason for existing.

He pushed his jacket from his shoulders and hung it over the back of the chair, then sat down behind his desk. He leaned his head back against the cushions like a battle-weary soldier and closed his eyes. He needed to block out the stares, the looks of disbelief he’d seen on everyone’s faces, both last night when he’d made a point of paying court to Lady Grace at the Wedgewood musicale, and again this afternoon on their ride through Hyde Park.

He knew by the time he walked through the Earl of Pendleton’s doors tonight, everyone would have heard of Raeborn’s quest for another bride.

He gave an angry tug to his cravat and bolted to his feet. Maybe he hadn’t gotten her with child. Maybe in a day or two she’d tell him there was no need to worry. That her errant courses had begun.

Huge beads of perspiration formed on his forehead. Oh, how he prayed she’d tell him that. How he prayed he wouldn’t have to go through another woman’s pregnancy. Especially Grace Warren’s. She seemed so fragile. So delicate.

He thought of the woman with whom he’d spent the afternoon. Of course there’d been a certain degree of tension between them, but he couldn’t say he hadn’t enjoyed himself. In fact, the two of them got on quite well. There never seemed to be a lull in their conversation except when he stopped their carriage so they could talk to some curious passerby who wanted to get a closer look at the Duke
of Raeborn and the lady he sought to wed. The way she stiffened at his side told him she was uncomfortable with the attention being with him attracted.

But when they were alone she held her own. He already knew she was extremely talented. Now he knew she had the intelligence to match. Talking to her was not like talking to some immature, addlebrained ingenue. She was levelheaded as well as up on all the current political events. She had an opinion on every topic they discussed. Raeborn smiled. And she didn’t back down when her opinion didn’t match his.

For just a flash, he thought of what it would be like to court a woman again, to take a wife, to have someone waiting for him when he came home, someone to talk to and laugh with and sleep next to. To have someone who would bear his children and perhaps even learn to care for him. To have someone to grow old with.

But these were the same thoughts he’d had while courting his first two wives. Two innocent women who’d died trying to give him the children he wanted. The heir he needed.

Raeborn rubbed at his jaw and let the bright sunshine wash over him. No. It would have been best if he hadn’t spilled his seed inside her. Best if she told him tonight or perhaps tomorrow that she wasn’t carrying a babe.

A part of him prayed she would.

Another part of him, a part he didn’t let himself acknowledge very often, prayed she wouldn’t. That God would give him another chance.

“Are you awake, Grace?”

Grace heard the soft knock on the door and waited for Caroline to come in.

“I thought maybe you’d be resting for tonight.”

“No. I was reading.” Grace picked up the closed book on her lap and opened it. She knew Caroline saw through her lie but was thankful when she didn’t comment on it.

“These just came for you.” Caroline held out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. “They’re from the Duke of Raeborn. That was very thoughtful of him, don’t you think?”

Grace rose from her chair by the window and took the flowers. “Yes. Very.”

“You must have made a favorable impression on him last night. Or were the two of you acquainted before?” Caroline asked. The tone of her voice told Grace she knew they weren’t. Or at least they hadn’t been before last night. Caroline was as surprised as everyone else when she noticed them both gone, then observed them coming back minutes apart.

Grace had seen the look Caroline had given her. Recognized the worry and concern because she’d been alone with Raeborn. She knew she hadn’t been very convincing when Caroline questioned her later. Knew Caroline didn’t believe her when she told her she’d gotten overly warm and needed a breath of fresh air and Raeborn had followed her merely to make his compliments on the music and see that she was all right.

“The duke is certainly being considerate. I think he’s quite smitten with you.”

Grace set the flowers down on the corner of a small writing desk. “Perhaps.”

“Are you saying you’re not as taken with him?”

Grace saw the questioning look on Caroline’s face and turned her attention back to the flowers.

“Are you averse to his attentions, Grace?”

“Of course not. What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you seem a little tense around him. Almost as if he’s forcing his attentions on you. I can’t imagine Raeborn doing so, but is he, Grace?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Then what is it?”

Oh, how Grace wanted to tell Caroline. How she wanted to share at least a part of the burden that terrified her every hour of the day and kept her awake at night. How she wanted to talk to her sister, to tell her the duke was not smitten with her. That she’d deceived him and this show of being enamored of her was all an act. That he felt nothing but disdain for her and was putting on a brave front because she may have trapped him into a marriage he didn’t want. “It’s nothing.”

Caroline closed the small distance between them and took Grace’s hands and held them. Grace suddenly felt like the younger sister. Like the one being taken care of instead of the other way around. The feeling was totally alien to her.

“Sit down with me,” Caroline said, pulling Grace over to a small settee angled before the fireplace. “I want to talk to you.”

They sat and Caroline turned to face her. “When I married Thomas, I came to him with nothing to my name. Father didn’t provide a dowry for any of us, as you well know. But I was the luckiest of women because Thomas’s family was
wealthy enough that they didn’t care about money. In fact, they paid the amount Father greedily demanded for me without question.”

“I know,” Grace said, remembering how frightened Caroline had been that Thomas’s father would refuse to pay what their father demanded and she and Thomas wouldn’t be able to marry.

“On our wedding day, Thomas’s father took me aside and gave me this. He said it was his wedding present to me.”

Caroline reached into a pocket of her gown and pulled out a piece of paper. She handed it to Grace. “I want you to have it.”

“What is it?”

“It’s the deed to a small country manor. It’s quite nice and only about an hour’s ride from here. And it’s in my name.”

Grace stared at the paper in her hands. “No, Linny. I can’t take this.”

“Yes, you can. I want you to have it.” Caroline reached for Grace’s hands and held them tighter. “Thomas’s father said he wanted to make sure if something ever happened to Thomas, that I would never have to rely on Father again. I won’t tell you his opinion of Father, but he wanted to make sure I never had to go back and live under his roof.”

Grace brought the paper to her heart and fought to keep her tears from spilling down her cheeks.

“It’s yours, Grace. For as long as you live. I want you to know you don’t have to give up your independence if you don’t want to. Although I can’t think of a finer man than Raeborn, I don’t want you to feel forced to marry him because you have no place else to go.”

“Oh, Caroline,” she said, throwing her arms around her sister and hugging her tight. “I love you. I couldn’t ask for a better sister. But I’m not letting Raeborn court me because he can provide me with a roof over my head. Maybe I should,” she said, covering her embarrassment with choked laughter. “Otherwise I’ll be a plague and bother to all of you for the rest of my life.”

“You’d never be a bother, Grace. We each of us owe you more than we can ever repay for what you’ve done for us. Thomas said to tell you you’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you like. And Josie is terribly upset because you came here first instead of going to her. And Francie and Sarah and Mary each sent word they’re expecting you to visit them next.”

Grace smiled through her tears.

“If it’s not the concern over having a place to live, what is it? Surely it’s not Raeborn? I can see where you could come to care for him. He’s an exceptional man, Grace. And it’s obvious he’s interested in you.”

Grace looked away from Caroline. How could she tell her Raeborn’s interest would die the second he found out she wasn’t carrying his child? “I never thought anyone would consider me, and now…”

“And why wouldn’t they consider you?”

“You know that as well as I. Just look at me, Linny.”