Intimate Deception (13 page)

“I am. There’s not a thing about you not to like. Obviously His Grace feels the same. I know he can be rather intimidating at times, but—” Caroline paused. “Are you afraid of him, Grace?”

“No. Of course not. It’s just that…”

“Surely you haven’t listened to the gossip about him?”

Grace turned her head to look at Caroline. “What gossip?”

“That he’s cursed because his first two wives died in childbirth.”

Grace laughed. “Of course not. If anything, he has my sympathy. It’s tragic losing one wife. But to have to go through that loss twice? And the heirs he was hoping for. Surely he knows he was not responsible for their deaths. We all know the risks in having children. No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it, Grace?”

Grace fought to keep from placing her hand on her stomach. “It’s nothing, Linny. I’m just nervous, I guess. The scene with Father and Fentington still gives me nightmares.”

“I wish I had been there to help you,” Caroline said. “I wish I could have heard what you told him. It would have been worth all the treasures in the world to see him squirm when you told him you knew what he was. What he’d done to his wife. That everyone knew she’d taken her own life rather than spend another day with him.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you had seen him. The glare in his eyes still terrifies me. And to know Father knew the kind of man he was and still intended to sell me to him for money.”

“We’ve always known that about Father. What I can’t believe is that Fentington gave up on you so easily. That you didn’t need some leverage to escape him.”

“I’m just thankful he did.”

Grace couldn’t look her sister in the eye. Didn’t want her to know what it had taken to save herself from having to marry him. Didn’t want her to know she had deceived Raeborn.

“Don’t worry, Grace. Fentington can’t hurt you as long as you’re with us. And Father has no one left to barter and sell. We’re all free from both of them.”

Grace hoped that was true. Hoped Fentington had spoken his threats in anger and would not do something to make her pay for deceiving him. But Caroline was right. She was safe here. Safe—except from the Duke of Raeborn.

“Now,” Caroline said, getting up from the settee, “I’d better leave so you can get ready for tonight. Raeborn will no doubt be there and you’ll want to look your best.”

Before Caroline left, Grace reached for her hand and gave her back the deed. “Linny, keep this for me,” she said, folding Caroline’s fingers around the paper. “I’ll know where it is if I ever need it.”

“Don’t forget. It’s yours if ever you have need of it,” Caroline said, then walked out of the room.

Grace stared at the closed door, her vision blurred with tears. She couldn’t explain the gratitude that consumed her. The joy of knowing she wouldn’t have to suffer through the embarrassment of seeking a husband. The comfort of having a place to live so she wouldn’t be a burden to her sisters. There was no doubt in her mind it would only be a matter of days until her natural cycle resumed and the Duke of Raeborn could drop his pursuit of her. Then she would have to seriously consider what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

She sat back down on the settee and hugged a pillow to her chest. Last night she’d secretly calculated how long after their wedding nights it had taken each of her sisters to conceive. It had taken Caroline three months, Josie four, Francie barely two, Sarah three, and Mary four.
Annie hadn’t been married a month yet, so she was still a question. That proved none of her sisters had conceived on their wedding night, so the odds were that she hadn’t either—even though the night she’d spent with the duke hadn’t been her wedding night. All she had to do was wait the week or so until nature proved it.

Then maybe she would take Caroline up on her offer and live in quiet solitude in the country. It was not as if she were without the ability to support herself. She could hire herself out as a tutor and music instructor. The income she’d earn would not make her wealthy, but at least she would be able to support herself and not have to rely on a husband or her sisters to take care of her.

Grace rose from the cushions, telling herself she had nothing to fear. Telling herself she should be happy, that a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Yet there was a niggling sadness that would not go away. A sadness because she would have to give up the dream she’d cherished her whole life. The dream of a home made warm and inviting because of the love shared between a husband and wife. The dream of a house filled with children’s laughter.

The cost of her deception would indeed be high.

Grace stood to the right of the staircase of the Pendleton ballroom visiting with a small circle of friends. Caroline was next to her on one side and another sister, Josie, was on the other. She tried to keep her mind focused on the conversations going on around her but found her thoughts
wandering. Found she could think of only one thing. Of only one person.

She knew the minute he arrived. Knew the moment he stood at the top of the stairs. Knew he was there even before he was announced.

The room seemed smaller. The air warmer.

She told herself she wouldn’t turn around. Wouldn’t look into those ebony eyes or feast on his noble features. Told herself she wouldn’t notice the perfect cut of his clothing or his broad shoulders or muscled thighs. Told herself she wouldn’t remember his naked flesh pressed against hers, her hands running along the corded muscles that bounded across his shoulders and down his arms. But she did.

She turned. His gaze locked with hers, his eyes honing in on her with a possessiveness she found disconcerting. Even though he didn’t move from where he stood, his dominance swept down the steps and across the room like a dense fog, making its way to where she waited, wrapping around her until she felt as much a part of him as she had the night she’d lain with him.

Her stomach clenched nervously. Long, unyielding fingers gripped within her chest, squeezing until she couldn’t breathe. Until the room seemed to spin around her. It would be so much easier if he didn’t affect her as he did. If she could forget what that one night with him had been like. If a miracle had happened ten years ago and he had noticed her then. If she didn’t know he was drawn to her only because she’d deceived him. Only because he
had
to until he knew she wasn’t carrying his child.

“Are you all right, Grace?” Caroline asked, touching her gloved hand to Grace’s arm.

Grace sucked in a breath of surprise and pasted a smile on her face. “Of course. I was just lost in thought.”

Before Caroline could comment further, her gaze lifted over Grace’s shoulder. Grace knew from the flirtatious smiles of the ladies around her and the parting of their small circle that he was there, behind her. She could feel the heat from his body, feel the power that emanated from him. A breath hitched in her chest when she turned to look at him.

“Good evening, Lady Grace. Ladies,” he said as a general greeting to the others.

“Your Grace.”

For a few moments Raeborn made pleasant conversation as if everyone in the room hadn’t noticed where he went upon arriving. Hadn’t noticed which lady he’d targeted as the object of his attentions. He couldn’t have been more obvious if he’d hung a banner and hired trumpeters to announce his intentions.

“They’re getting ready to start the next set, Lady Grace. Would you do me the honor of this dance?”

Grace smiled and took his proffered hand, knowing it was what was expected of her. She went with him and felt everyone staring after them. Knew if she looked, there would be disbelieving expressions on their faces. Knew it was impossible for anyone to understand why the Duke of Raeborn was courting her.

She had nothing to recommend her, no huge dowry, no well-respected family name. Even youth and a pretty face
worked against her. Not to mention that everyone assumed since the duke hadn’t shown interest in anyone during the five years since his last wife had died in childbirth, he was not interested in taking another wife.

So why her?

A wave of panic consumed her. Surely someone would realize she’d done something to force such a magnificent catch to court her. Her heart pounded in her breast. They may not know to what lengths she’d gone, but it would not take them long to figure out she’d done something to trap him. Why else would the influential Duke of Raeborn give her a second look? She’d even heard it whispered that the duke’s cousin had proclaimed his shock because the Duke of Raeborn had sworn he had no intention of ever remarrying.

“You look exceptionally lovely tonight, my lady,” he said, leading her to the dance floor. He took her into his arms.

She wished the dance were not a waltz. Wished she could keep at least some distance between them. But that was impossible. He held her close and carried her with him across the floor. A shiver washed over her.

“Is something wrong?”

She shook her head. “No. Of course not.”

“Then perhaps you would explain the look on your face and why you’re trembling in my arms.”

She tried to erase any expression from her face that hinted at her fear and lifted her mouth in what she prayed was a sincere smile. From the arched lift of his brows she knew she’d failed.

He tucked her closer to him and twirled her in three rapid circles, then led her out the open double doors and
onto the terrace. He didn’t stop until they’d walked down the three small steps and out into the garden.

He placed his hands high on her arms and turned her to face him. “Now what is it?” he said, placing a finger beneath her chin and tilting her head upward.

She turned away from him. “It’s nothing.”

“Yes, it is. You’re trembling. Tell me. What’s bothering you?”

Grace took a deep breath and stepped away from him. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Make such an effort. People are making too much of the attention you are paying me.”

“That makes you uncomfortable?”

“Yes. They are assuming you’re serious. That you would actually consider me for your duchess.”

“But of course you know differently.”

“Yes.” She looked away from him. “I would much rather have them shocked by a hasty marriage than suffer through their smirking looks when they realize you’re no longer interested in me.”

“Do you anticipate that day coming?”

She spun on him. “Of course I do.”

He sucked in a breath. “Have you begun—?”

Grace felt her cheeks burn. “No. But it’s only a matter of time before I will. It is highly unlikely I could have conceived after only…once.”

Raeborn lifted his lips in a smile that held no humor. “Perhaps that will be the price you must pay for your deception.”

Grace shivered. Her blood turned cold. She would be glad when this was over. Glad when she could tell him she wasn’t carrying his babe and he could give up this charade.

The weight of what she’d done was suddenly more than she could stand up under. The guilt and embarrassment nearly strangled her. She had thought she could survive their sham a little longer, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bear to have him look at her, touch her, dance with her—even smile at her—when she knew it was the last thing he wanted to do. When she knew the only reason he even noticed her was because she’d deceived him and he was forced to pay attention to her. When she knew there was an underlying anger boiling beneath the surface at how she’d tricked him.

“Please, return to the ballroom, Your Grace. I’ll be in shortly.”

She turned away from him and took several steps down the path, intentionally placing enough distance between them to regain what little self-control she had left. She couldn’t stop her body from trembling. She prayed he’d realize she needed to be alone, that she needed him to leave her be. She heard him move and held her breath.

Just let him be gone.

She clutched her hands around her middle and pressed her lips tight to stop the whimper that threatened to escape. It was best to end this now. Before they were embroiled with each other any more than they already were. Before anyone assumed their feelings for each other were real and she’d have to survive the looks of pity when he no longer sought her out. Hadn’t they already given society enough
to gossip about? There would be more when her system righted itself and there was no longer a need for him to play this deceiving role.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing him to leave her. She started when he stepped up behind her and clasped his fingers around her upper arms. Her pulse raced in her breast, her flesh burned where he touched her. Then he did the unthinkable. He pulled her up against him and held her.

Her back was pressed to his chest, his warm breath touching the exposed flesh at her neck and shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her and locked his fingers together at her waist.

“Just take several deep breaths and relax,” he whispered in her ear. “There’s no sense in upsetting yourself until we are sure of anything, one way or another.”

His voice affected her like a calming balm that soothed even the places deep inside her that ached from a fear that wouldn’t go away.