Invisible (13 page)

Chapter 17

Six Months Later…

Lainie

“THE END…” There, I did it. Those were the words that completed my therapy—short words that brought me a much-needed sense of accomplishment and pride. I had found a small house to rent on the coast just outside of San Diego. The sights and sounds of the ocean were as much a part of the healing process as the words I put on paper. Every memory and emotion from the events that happened six months ago were now written down. From those memories came the idea for a book based on the events that changed my life forever. My heart was lighter, and I felt free. The shadow of Keith was gone. I opened my email and sent the final chapter to my editor, hoping she loved the ending, too. I closed my laptop, running my hands over the scratches and dings. The money was available to purchase a new one, but this one had a connection to everything of importance in my life. It just seemed right to type
Becoming Visible
on it.

That first month after I left, I wrote and cried nonstop. I cried for my mom, for myself, and mostly for Jax and what I had to do to him in order to find myself again. As I sat in his hospital room that night, all I could think about was that I gave up when Keith was choking me. I gave up. I realized that after so many years of living as Elizabeth Parker, I didn’t know who Elaine Wilson was. I had to find her, the Elaine who loved Jax as a woman and not a seventeen-year-old girl.

Now it was time to start making plans to return to Indiana, all the while hoping that Jax would understand why I left the way I did. I had known if I waited until morning, I would never have been able to do it. We would have been happy, but I would have always wondered if I could make it on my own as Elaine.

I let my hair grow longer, just past my shoulders, and I covered the blonde with auburn. Not quite the brown I grew up with but a complete change from the blonde that belonged to Elizabeth. During my retreat, I gained the confidence to wear shorts and let the world see my scars. They were part of me, and I refused to be ashamed of them anymore. I swam every day and got tanned from spending time in the fresh air and sunshine. I was whole for the first time in more than a decade.

Jax

I hadn’t been looking for a promotion when I agreed to work with Matt and the FBI to help incarcerate the rest of Keith’s drug cartel. So just two weeks ago, we rounded up the last of the bastards and the FBI released me back to my regular duties with the Indianapolis police department.

The bank account we’d found from the note in Lainie’s locket gave us the information we’d needed to bring all of them down. And we were right, some insiders that were part of the scheme included a few FBI agents. The work was rewarding and occupied most of my time, so it helped keep me from going after Lainie. I knew she was living in southern California. It wasn’t difficult to find her; she wasn’t trying to hide this time.

She called Matt and Liz about once a month to let them know she was okay. I was glad about that, but it broke my heart that she never contacted me. It hurt that I wasn’t enough for her, so I buried myself in work and lived on coffee and adrenaline. I still didn’t sleep much because every time I closed my eyes, I saw her with the bruises from Keith’s hands around her neck.

The tap at the door brought my attention to Matt standing in the doorway. “She called again, didn’t she?” I asked. “Never mind, don’t answer that. As long as she’s okay, I don’t want to know.”

“You look like shit, Jax. Are you getting any sleep?” Matt asked. “I’m worried about you. All you do is work.”

“I’m fine. Just drop it.” I grabbed my coffee cup and swallowed what was in it, grimacing at the cold, bitter taste. “If you’re done, I need to get some more coffee,” I said as I got up and started towards the door.

“Liz wants you to come for dinner tonight,” he said looking at me with a frown. “Seems like you could use some real food. Be there at six or I’ll come looking for you,” he added as he walked out the door.

Doesn’t he realize it hurts to be there with them? Liz looks so much like Lainie.
I got my drink and headed back to my office, stopping to answer questions from a rookie detective. Seeing my reflection in the window, I realized why Matt was worried.
Jesus, no wonder Matt said I look like shit.
It reinforced that I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days. I decided to go home and shower and shave before showing up at Matt and Liz’s for dinner. On second thought, I figured a haircut might not be a bad idea either. Maybe that would get Matt off my back.

Two Weeks Later

Lainie

Mom and Matt were waiting for me as I pulled my luggage off the carousel. Mom ran into my arms as she said, “I didn’t recognize you at first with that hair. I love it!” She hugged me tighter and then held me at arm’s length, scrutinizing every detail. “You’re wearing shorts?” she asked while trying to hide the surprised expression.

“I don’t have to hide anymore. No more being invisible,” I stated with a grin. I hugged Matt. “How’s Jax?” I asked. Matt grimaced. “What? He’s okay isn’t he?”

“He’s all right.” He looked me in the eye as he continued. “He wasn’t happy that you disappeared, and he’s had a hard time dealing with everything.”

The sun was shining and the sky was blue, a perfect day for a homecoming. I climbed in Matt’s truck and settled into the backseat, glad I didn’t have to deal with the Indy traffic. I’d forgotten how crazy it could be. The city slid by as my thoughts were centered around seeing Jax tomorrow. Mom wanted to invite him to dinner tonight, but I said no, I wanted to see him on my own. Matt had helped me arrange everything.

After lunch, I pulled out my laptop and set it on the table. “You’re still using that beat up old thing?” Matt asked. “Why didn’t you buy a new one?”

I had thought for a moment before I answered. “It just feels right to use this one. The nicks and scratches are testimony to everything it’s been through, like my scars.” I let the computer boot up and opened my manuscript. “I finished it. You two are the first to read it besides my editor.”

Mom used my hand to pull me into a hug. “I know it will be hard for you to read this, but I really need your opinion.” Matt hugged us both, knowing that reliving the years with Keith would be difficult for Mom.

“Send it to my printer, Elaine. It will be easier for both of us to read it,” Matt said as he checked that the machine was on and ready to go.

“I’m going to publish it myself. Do you think Jax will read it?” I asked. Matt shrugged his shoulders and Mom just returned a sheepish smile. Butterflies had taken up residence in my stomach. I went to the kitchen and for a soda from the fridge and took it out to the backyard where I sat by the pool, thinking about the memories that went into the book.

When I heard the door open, I looked up as Matt came out and sat on the chaise next to me. “I’ll take you to the police station tomorrow if you want.”

“That’s okay. I really need to do this myself. The transport company is supposed to deliver my car later today.” Matt couldn’t hide his concern. “I know you’re worried about Jax’s reaction. I’m sure he’s pissed at me for leaving, but I’ll be all right no matter how he reacts.” Matt hugged me and headed back into the house.

All of a sudden swimming sounded like a very good idea. Maybe I could burn off some nervous energy by doing laps. The sun continued its journey across the sky, marking the time until I was finally tired enough to get some sleep. My stomach growled as I made my way upstairs for a quick shower.

The transport company truck arrived with my car on a flatbed. I watched them unload it, signed the invoice, and accepted the keys. It was covered with bugs, and I decided to take it to the car wash.

Three times through and all the bugs were finally off my new car. Next stop, that Chinese restaurant I saw on my way into town. Twenty minutes later and I was headed back to Mom and Matt’s, munching on an egg roll to keep the hunger pangs down to a dull roar. When I got home, Mom was in the kitchen staring at the open pantry.

“Mom? You okay?” I asked. “I brought dinner.”

“There you are,” she replied as she wiped tears off her face. “I knew it would be hard to read about those years with Keith, but now I’m so drained. I was just trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.”

I unloaded the bags of take-out and pulled her into a hug as she began to apologize. “I’m sorry, Elaine. Sorry for bringing Keith into our house. I believed all of his lies, believed that the drugs were the answer to my problems. I had no idea he was treating you that way.” She sniffled and reached for a tissue. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I know, Mom. It’s over and done,” I said. “Let’s eat, and then you can let me know what you thought of my book.”

The next morning, I walked into the police station and asked the desk sergeant to see the police chief. I clipped on the visitor’s badge as I followed an officer to the chief’s office. The tip of my cane tapped on the floor as we made our way down the hall.

“You must be Elaine. I’m Chief Samson,” she said as she walked around the desk to shake my hand. “Agent Johnson told me you would like to use one of our interrogation rooms to speak with Lieutenant McKenna. I normally wouldn’t allow it, but I owe Matt a favor. Lieutenant McKenna is down in booking right now. Let’s get you set up before he comes back.”

She led me to Interrogation Room A just outside of Jax’s office. I sat with my back to the one-way glass. “Do you need anything?” she asked.

“No. I’m good. Thanks for letting me do this.” She left the door open and then turned down the hall to her office. I was nervous, and the butterflies fluttered around in full-force today. I rubbed my locket. It had always been a source of inner peace and strength for me, and I needed every bit of that right now.