Irreparable (Wounded Souls) (6 page)

“Yeah man, it looks like it’s raining cats and dogs out there. I wonder who pissed God off today,” Luke says and sits beside me, and that’s when we hear it. 

There’s a girl singing in the bar and it’s a very popular song, but she’s turned it into her own acoustic version.  ‘Demons’ by Imagine Dragons is coming from the girl on the stage and Luke stands up. “No fucking way,” he says and stalks toward the stage, and that makes me get up and go after him.  What I see shocks me.  There’s Sam, the woman that’s been invading my dreams and thoughts for three months now. Damn, she looks good in that purple top and black skinny jeans. I wonder if she has on a black thong.  Shaking my head, I listen to the words.  Funny thing, those words describe me a whole hell of a lot.  It makes me think that I suppose everyone has their own demons, and once again Sam helps me to remember that.

“Dude, she hasn’t sung in two years, not since those fuckers…” he cuts himself off.  It’s obvious this is what he’s been talking about and I am not allowed to know.

“What are you talking about Luke?” I grab him and make him look at me but I know it’s not going to come from him. It pisses me off. The song ends and Sam’s eyes meet mine. I can see the tears she’s trying to hold back and she gives me a sad smile before walking off the stage. 

“Sam, wait!” I grab her hand and she jerks it away, walking out the door and going to stand in the middle of the sidewalk.  The rain is covering her and she looks up at the sky and just lets the rain hit her.  I walk out and grab her hand and smile when I hear the opening chords of I Love the Way You Love Me by John Michael Montgomery come over the speakers.

“Dance with me Sam?” I look into her beautiful blue eyes, knowing she’s probably going to stomp on my shoe and storm off just like she did when we were kids. But she shocks me as she meets my eyes and nods once.  I mouth the words ‘People are watching like we are insane’ and she laughs softly.  Leaning in and whispering, “Sam, trust me and tell me what’s going on, please?” I sigh when she shakes her head no and I just hold her closer, letting her know she has someone to count on.  That’s when it hits me, Sam tries to fix everyone else, because she’s as irreparable as I am. 

But are we really that broken? Can we fix each other? I gasp when I realize I actually want to fix Sam. I want to right whatever wrong has caused her to be the way she is.  I want to be the person to help Sam fix herself, just like she’s helped us all fix ourselves; she has been the person to help make each of her patience whole.  It’s time someone else helps make her whole. Now to figure out what’s changed sweet Samantha into irreparable Sam.

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I walk into Sam’s office at work and put the roses down on the desk.  “Sam, wanna grab lunch with me?” I smile and she looks up. 

“No thanks. I just told Stacey to pick me up a salad on her way back.” She smiles and looks away.  It has been like this for a few weeks, ever since we danced in the rain.  I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t understand what Sam is trying to hide, but I have a feeling it isn’t good. 

“Sam, come on I just want to be friends, you know like we used to be?”  I wince when I see her scowl. 

“Yeah, like we used to be before Mary-Beth? Is that what you want Jameson? Well I can’t be that girl, because that girl is NOT me anymore. She was stolen from me. Your sweet Samantha died the day after you left for Afghanistan.” Her chest is rising and her breathing is ragged, so I say the only thing I can think of.

“What do you mean, my sweet Samantha died?” She remains silent, then she looks at me and then at the door. “Fine I can take a hint, but I really do want to be your friend again, Sam.  Even if you’re not my Samantha anymore,” I sigh and turn to leave but not before I hear her mutter, “I was never your anything.”

Walking into the coffee shop down the street, I think back to what Sam said to me.  She died the day after I left?  Does that mean I have something to do with what changed Sam?  Have I always looked at things the wrong way?  Have I become the person she hates?  I am so confused.  I grab my phone and send a text to Luke asking him to meet me.   I order a coffee and go sit in the corner waiting for Luke to get here from his lunch break.  Maybe I can finally get some answers about what’s going on.

Luke walks in about ten minutes later and sits down. “I’m not telling you. It isn’t my place man.” He sighs and looks at me. “But, if you like her, hell if you love her, you’ll let her come to you.” He rubs his hands over his face and then takes my coffee and drinks a huge gulp. “Damn, that’s hot as hell!” he groans and I laugh.

“Shouldn’t be stealing someone’s drink. Didn’t I tell you Mary-Beth gave me herpes?” I say and burst out laughing at the sheer look of terror on his face. 

“Gross! Carter that’s sick dude! Don’t joke like that.” He cringes and I laugh harder. 

“Well Jay, I sure am glad to hear that sound. It sure has been a long time and dude, I gotta say it’s been missed,” Luke says and I scowl a bit.

“Come on now Luke, don’t turn into a pussy on me man,” I say and take my coffee back. “But for real, Mary-Beth did give me herpes,” I smirk and stand up to walk away.  That’s when I see Anna standing there shocked. Well hell, I guess I’ll be hearing from Mary-Beth today.

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“You are such an asshole, Jameson!  I did not ever give you that! How dare you!  Now I don’t feel so bad about breaking up with you! You are such an asshole!” I laugh as I hear Mary Beth’s screeching over my voicemail. I knew that shit was coming eventually. It only took her thirty minutes to call and bitch me out. 

I know what you’re thinking. Mary-Beth is a bitch, but she didn’t used to be that way.  She was a sweet girl with beautiful emerald eyes that drew you in the second she looked at you.  She took my breath away and I just knew I was going to marry her.  I had those feelings for one other girl and I was five and she was my best friend. 

Mary-Beth and I met when I was sixteen and she was fifteen. She had just transferred to our school after being moved to live with her grandparents. She’d lost her mother and sister in that plane crash in the field in Pennsylvania during 9/11. She looked so scared that first day and Anna had instantly become her friend.

We sat across from each other in science and I remember for weeks I tried to get her to date me, but she always blushed and looked away.  It took me seven weeks to get Mary-Beth out of her shell but once I did she and I were inseparable.   Come to think of it, that was about the time Samantha and I’s friendship started to deteriorate. 

I still have no clue what Sam means by my Samantha died that day. I pray to god it has nothing to do with me, but I guess I will never really know.

Two weeks have gone by since I last saw Sam, but I keep trying to get her attention. I won’t give up on something I want, and by God I want Samantha Lynn Blalock.  I walk into the shop where Uncle Scott works and smile. At least if I start working here I’ll get mom off my back. 

“Well, I’ll be he actually shows up.” Uncle Scott looks at me and comes around his desk to shake my hand. I can’t help but laugh looking at Uncle Scott with his bright orange polo shirt and khaki and orange plaid pants. He looks like a clown wanting to be a golfer. You know the type? His pants are hideous and his hair is starting to thin on the top. He is nothing like my mother and I find it funny she tries to get me to work with him.

“Sorry Uncle Scott. I just don’t know how well I will fit in around here. I am not really a mechanic you know.” I look at him and he laughs.

“No offense kid, but I am not letting you anywhere near a vehicle. Remember that time you tried to change the oil in Granny’s car?” he chuckles. 

Oh hell, I do remember that. I burnt the engine up because I didn’t put any more oil in.  I spent three months cutting grass and pulling weeds and anything else granddad and granny wanted me to do.

“So what am I doing here then?” I say and he shrugs. 

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about opening your own store. I know you’re into music, and we need a new guitar place in town. I told your momma I’d back you financially if you wanted to do it.” He shrugs and I look at him.

“Wait what?” I ask and look at him weird. I hadn’t picked up my guitar in three years, not since I got the call about granddad.

“You heard me. After everything that happened, I don’t think money is everything and I think you deserve a little happiness.” He shrugs and walks back to his desk. “Think about it and let me know, but I need an answer by the end of the week.”  He smiles and looks at me and I know it’s a done deal.

“Thanks Uncle Scott,” I say and then turn to walk out the door and lo and behold who do I see? I smirk and walk towards Sam.

“Wait up Sam!” I yell and she turns and rolls her eyes. 

“Hey Carter,” she smiles and I wink. Wow, did Sam Blalock actually just blush. Oh she’s got it just as bad as I do.

“Sam, won’t you let me take you to dinner, maybe a movie?  I don’t know why you won’t come and hang out with me,” I say, and then I have to stifle a laugh when I see Sam is actually checking me out.  I’m glad I wore the tight black tee today.

“Fine Carter,” she says. “Pick me up at six, and don’t you dare be late,” she says and walks off.  Holy shit! Did that really just happen?  Did Sam really agree to go on a date with me?  Damn, today must be my lucky day!

I go home and spend the day washing the Mustang, cleaning the inside and waxing it. I look up when I hear tires on the driveway. I scowl when I see it’s Mary-Beth. I thought today was my lucky day.

“Hey, Jameson,” she says and slides out of her Honda Accord. She’s in a pair of cut off shorts and a tank top. At one point I thought her body was amazing, now it doesn’t do anything for me.

“Hey, Mary-Beth,” I say and keep waxing the car. Maybe if I ignore her she’ll go away.

“Can we talk?” Nope, not going away. I sit the stuff down and look at her.

“What do you want to say Mary-Beth? I’m surprised you didn’t write a letter,” I say and she looks down at the ground.

“You’re right. I deserve that,” she says. “But, I miss you. I just, I just didn’t know how to deal with the stress Jameson.  It was hard watching you hurt like that.”  She finally meets my eyes and hers have tears threatening to fall. 

“Hard to watch? Are you shitting me right now? Try going through it Mary-Beth, and then having the one person that saved you, the one person that made you want to fight to stay alive, leave you. In a fucking letter!” I say and pick my stuff up and start to walk into the house.  I stop when I feel her hand on me, and for once in my life her touch does nothing, absolutely nothing for me.

“I’m done talking Mary-Beth. I don’t want you anymore,” I say and shrug my arm out of her grasp and walk into the house and slam the door in her face. I hear her slide down the door and then after about five minutes, she gets up and leaves.  She gave up on me months ago. There is no us anymore. I don’t want someone who runs when the going gets tough. I want the person who stays and fights with me.  Now I just have to sweep her off of her feet tonight, because Samantha is that person. I can feel it in my bones.

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I pull up at Sam’s apartment at exactly 5:59. I am not going to screw this date up.  I get out of my Mustang and walk to her door wearing a black button down shirt and a pair of jeans. These may be a pair that Mary-Beth had bought because she said it made my ass look good, but want Sam staring at my ass all night. I know I’m a guy but damn.  I want her eyes on me and on me only.  I knock on her door and when she opens the door I think my heart stops beating.  Holy shit! Am I having a heart attack?

“You look beautiful Sam,” I say and she smiles. Her hair is in curls and you can see the purple peeking through. Don’t girls call those peek-a-boos or some shit like that? Her shirt is black but loose fitting on the top and hangs off her shoulder so that you can see the sleeve of tattoos she has on her right arm. Damn it, those red skinny jeans are going to make my balls blue before the night is over. I will never understand how girls get into those things, but man, am I glad she did. That ass looks amazing.

“Thanks Jameson, you ready?” she asks and turns to lock the door. I laugh when she says “Take a picture. It will last longer. I promise.”

“Shit, sorry Sam. I just can’t help it. You look amazing.” She turns and smirks. Well hell, my Sam seems to be back tonight.

We go to dinner and to the movies and then we head back to Sam’s house. I have had such a great time with Sam tonight. It’s like we’re back to being twelve year old Jameson and eleven year old Samantha, like we never missed all these years.  There is something that has changed between us though, and the chemistry flying between us is unbelievable.  You could probably zap a fly with the electricity flying around the two of us right now. 

It’s been five months since Mary-Beth and I broke things off. It’s been five months since I’ve been with a woman, and even though I want Sam, I don’t want to push her.  I know she has her own things to work through, but damn if I don’t want her.