Irresistible (19 page)

It was her worst nightmare come true, she thought bitterly. No doubt the very sensible and clueless Sally would refuse to help her draft documents offering Neil a large sum of cash to relinquish his rights as a father.

“Thank you for your time,” Elissa said and stood. “If you’ll just tell me your hourly fee, I’ll pay you for your time.”

“Elissa, don’t go. Let’s talk about this more.”

“I don’t have anything else to say.”

E
LISSA DROVE HOME
Thursday after work feeling as if she’d been drop-kicked off a cliff. Both her body and her spirit ached and she suspected she only had herself to blame.

The meeting with the lawyer had been a disaster. Sally had offered nothing constructive. The idea that Neil was actually interested in Zoe was beyond stupid and it terrified her that a reasonably intelligent professional would even consider it. Did that mean the courts would lean that way, as well? If push came to shove, could Neil get visitation rights?

If only he would go away for a few years, she thought. He was known to disappear for months at a time, but she didn’t think she was going to get that lucky. Him finding her at the craft fair meant he suspected she had resources and therefore cash. If anything, his appearances might become more frequent.

She pulled up in front of her apartment and climbed out of her car. Zoe came running toward her.

“Mommy, Mommy, I love school so much!! We made a little book about our summer and I brought mine home to show you. And I brought my lunch today but tomorrow is tacos. Is that okay? Can I buy lunch tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

Her daughter flung herself at her. Elissa caught her and held her close. Okay, whatever else might be screwed up in her life, Zoe was exactly right. She was worth any price, any hardship and there was no way in hell Neil was getting his hands on her.

“So you had a good day, huh?” Elissa asked as they walked toward the apartment. “Were you good for Mrs. Ford?”

“Oh, she’s not here,” Zoe said happily. “She’s playing bridge. Walker is with me.”

Elissa stopped on the bottom step of her small porch. Shame and embarrassment rose up inside of her. Her face burned, her throat got tight and she wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

She hadn’t seen him since Monday night when she’d used sex to shut him up and get him out of the apartment.

After he’d left, she’d felt awful. Cheap and mean and disgusting. Seven years ago, she’d used her body to get a job after she and Mitch broke up and afterward, she’d felt so horrified with herself she’d vowed to never do anything like that again. But when backed into a corner, she’d taken the easy way out.

She hated herself for what she’d done and she was terrified to know what he must think of her. Sure, she’d known there could never be anything between them—he’d made that clear on multiple occasions—but she’d liked knowing they were friends and that he at least respected her. Now all that was gone.

“Come on, Mommy,” Zoe said, tugging on her hand.

Elissa couldn’t think of a way to avoid the encounter, so she sucked in a breath and stepped into the apartment.

Walker stood in the center of the room. A half-finished puzzle sat on the coffee table next to a couple of juice boxes.

He’d been in her house before, but this time was different. She felt exposed and embarrassed.

“I, ah, want to thank you for looking after Zoe,” she said, refusing to raise her gaze above the center of his chest. “I’m sorry Mrs. Ford bothered you. It’s the middle of your workday.”

“Not a problem.”

That couldn’t be true, she thought, wishing she could think of a gracious way to end the conversation.

“I need to get changed,” she said, motioning to her uniform, then practically running toward her bedroom.

She closed the door behind her and did her best to avoid looking at the bed. After changing, she wished she could hide out forever, but that wasn’t an option. She would have to face him sometime. Maybe it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later.

Or maybe he’d just left, she thought hopefully. Maybe he didn’t want to see her any more than she’d wanted to see him. But she had a feeling her luck wasn’t that good.

Sure enough, when she returned to the living room, she found Zoe engrossed in a video and Walker standing in the entrance to the kitchen. While she longed to settle next to her daughter, she knew Walker deserved an explanation, so she entered the kitchen and carefully closed the door behind them.

Once they were alone, she braced herself for the attack, but what he said instead was, “There’s an opening for an assistant manager at Buchanan’s. It’s the lunch shift, but you’d need to work a couple of nights a week. Maybe one weekend night. We have full benefits, including matching on the 401K. Management also has a profit-sharing plan, but that wouldn’t kick in for six months.” He named a salary that made her knees shake. “You interested?”

“Are you offering me a job?” she asked, not able to believe it.

“Yes.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “I know plenty.”

If possible, her blush deepened. “I meant you don’t know anything about my work life. If I show up on time, what kind of work I do. I have no management experience and I’ve never worked in a restaurant other than Eggs ’n’ Stuff. Why would you think I’m qualified?”

“I’ve seen you work until your fingers are swollen. You’re always out of here plenty early, so I know you get to your shift on time. The job is considered entry level management. You’d learn as you go.”

It was a terrific opportunity. So why did she have a knot in her stomach?

“I like the job I have,” she told him.

His gaze narrowed. “This one’s better.”

“I don’t want to work nights. I’m not willing to give up my time with Zoe.”

“We’re talking one or two evenings.”

“I don’t…” She swallowed. “I won’t work for someone I’ve slept with.”

There. She’d said it. Now he was going to pounce all over her and want to know why things had gone the way they had.

“Dammit, Elissa,” Walker said, careful to keep his voice low, which she appreciated. “What the hell kind of game is this? You know it’s a good job. Why won’t you consider it? If your reasons are about me, don’t worry. I’m a temp.”

“You think things are going to be better when your grandmother comes back? You think she won’t fire me that first day?”

“We do a contract. She won’t be able to.”

“Oh, great. So the president of the company will be stuck with me. That should be fun.”

“I’m trying to help.”

“This isn’t helping. Besides, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” He paused and drew in a breath, as if trying to control his temper. “You’re not fine,” he repeated. “Something is wrong. Do you think I’m stupid? Whatever it is had to be pretty damn big for you to go to that kind of extreme just to change the subject. What is it?”

“Nothing I want to talk about with you.”

“Look around. You don’t have anyone else. You need me.”

She didn’t need anyone. Never had, never would. “Talk about an ego,” she told him, stepping forward so she could make her point without raising her voice. “I was doing just fine before you came along.”

He made a sound that was suspiciously like a growl. “I’m not talking about money or the fact that I can unfasten lug nuts. I’m the one person you can talk to. Who else are you going to tell? Mrs. Ford?”

“I don’t make it a habit of talking about my problems.”

His gaze narrowed. “So there
is
something wrong.”

“No. I meant in a general sense. Look, Walker, if you want to make a complaint, put it in writing. Otherwise—”

He dropped his hands to his sides. “Do
not
tell me to leave.”

“It’s my house.”

She could feel the frustration building up inside of him. Despite his physical presence and strength, she wasn’t afraid. He would never hurt her.

“Something happened at the craft fair,” he said. “I know and you know. So can we please stop playing this game so you can tell me what the hell it is?”

She opened her mouth to tell him no, but suddenly she couldn’t. He was right—she didn’t have anyone else in her life.

“Zoe’s father showed up on Sunday,” she said quietly. “He’s in Seattle with some band. He wanted money. It’s the same thing every time—either I pay him off or he’s going to become a part of Zoe’s life.”

“Did you give him money?”

“All I’d made that day.”

“And you think he’ll be back?”

“I know he will.”

Instead of speaking, Walker moved close and put his arms around her. She resisted the embrace.

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “I can handle this.”

“No one doubts that, but even the Marines sometimes call in reinforcements.”

He pulled her against him and she gave in because she didn’t have the strength to keep standing on her own.

“I’m so scared,” she whispered.

“I’m right here. We can handle this. I’ll help.”

She wanted to make him promise that he meant what he said. That he wouldn’t change his mind.

She was a woman who didn’t trust men in her life and he was a man who didn’t trust himself. But her gut said to go with him. Despite everything, Walker was turning out to be the best kind of hero.

D
ANI SPENT SO MUCH TIME
on her hair and makeup that she felt like a beauty contestant. Ryan, aka the weasel loser, had called in sick for the past couple of days, but he was expected back and she needed to be braced to face him. Hence the extra time spent on her appearance, along with the decision to dress in a killer pair of black slacks and fitted silk blouse. If there was any kind of spillage from the kitchen, she would be crushed, but the risk was worth it. She wanted Ryan to regret what he’d lost. She wanted him to pay.

Unfortunately she’d yet to find out a way to make that happen, but she was working on it. Eventually something would come to her.

She got into work at her regular time and noted his car wasn’t in the parking lot yet. Good. She could load up on coffee and brace herself.

About a half hour later, while she was editing Edouard’s suggestions for specials, she heard familiar footsteps in the hallway. She didn’t glance up, but she took a second to brace herself to confront the lying cheat.

“Dani,” he said, his voice low and seductive. “Hi.”

She looked at him, at the handsome face, the killer eyes and knew she’d been duped by a master. “Ryan.”

“How are you? I’ve been worried about you.”

Had he? Oh, goody. Her life was now complete due to his amazing concern.

“Why?” she asked.

He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. “Because of what happened. Jen coming here like that.” He sighed. “I really didn’t want you to find out that way.”

Oh. My. God. His words were so familiar, it was almost eerie. Were all men chronically unable to take responsibility? Hugh had said the same sort of thing to her, saying he felt so awful about her finding out about his affair but never apologizing for actually cheating, the bastard.

Like Hugh, Ryan wasn’t sorry for what he’d done, he was just upset about being caught.

“How did you want me to find out?” she asked cheerfully. “Or were you hoping I never would?”

“I, ah…” He looked startled, as if he hadn’t expected the question. “Dani—”

She cut him off with a flick of her fingers. “Here’s my question. Have you ever been faithful to your wife? Did you at least wait a couple of months before starting to cheat? Because there’s no way in hell I’m the first time. You’re too smooth at the lies.”

He stiffened. “I love my family.”

“Of course you do. I can see it in every move you make. Sleeping with me was such an incredible act of love. Is Jen grateful?”

“Are you threatening me?” he asked. “Are you going to tell her?”

“Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. I think you’re hurting her enough for both of us, so I don’t need to. Now that I realize what an asshole you are, I would like to tell her the truth, but I suspect she wouldn’t believe me. I’m sure you’ve convinced her you’re all things wonderful. It’s funny. When I first found out I felt really sorry for myself, but I don’t anymore. I feel sorry for her. I’m in a position to walk away and never look back.”

He swallowed. “You’re going to have your brother fire me, aren’t you?”

“Not necessarily. You’re a decent general manager and with Penny out on maternity leave, the restaurant can’t handle any more changes right now. So as long as you don’t piss me off, you’re safe. But you will play it straight with every single woman who works here and every woman I may ever encounter. You’ll start the conversation by announcing you’re married and not even think about flirting. Do I make myself clear?”

“You’re still angry.”

She considered the statement. “You know, I’m not. I thought I would be, but I feel oddly cleansed by this conversation. Maybe because I finally get that I didn’t do anything wrong. That was the thing I hated, that I’d made such a lousy choice. But I didn’t. You set out to convince me you were exactly what I was looking for. I had no reason to mistrust you.
You
lied, I didn’t. Thanks to Al, our fabulous cat, you’re the only rat in this building, and I can live with that.”

W
ALKER STAYED
for dinner. Elissa found it interesting that her once-reserved neighbor was now comfortable with her five-year-old. Zoe and Walker chatted easily and even had a couple of shared jokes from their day at the mall.

He was so different from any man she’d ever known. Some of it was her life circumstances. She’d gone from being a kid in high school to a runaway on her own. Being on the fringes of the music business in L.A. hadn’t exactly put her in the path of very many guys who could be considered normal. Then she’d gotten pregnant and returned to Seattle where her lifestyle didn’t lend itself to meeting a lot of single men.

So Walker was quite the change. But it was more than that. Some of the differences came from who he was. She had trouble reconciling a man who would carefully and patiently play cat’s cradle with her daughter with an eighteen-year-old who had abandoned his dying girlfriend.

So what had happened in the fourteen plus years in between? Was it just a matter of growing up? Or was it deeper than that? He’d run from Charlotte to avoid death and pain, yet he’d planted himself right in the middle of a war. He’d sent men into battle and some of them had been killed. And what about his quest for Ben’s Ashley? How much of that was guilt about Ben taking a bullet and how much of it was about his leaving Charlotte?

Walker was a complex man, she thought as she sipped her wine and listened to her daughter laugh. But a good man. She didn’t like that he’d run out on his girlfriend, but she also didn’t like several pieces of her own past. Everyone made mistakes. The measure of a person was what happened afterward.

Later, when Zoe was in bed, Elissa returned to the living room and settled on the sofa. Walker had produced another bottle of wine which, given her exhaustion and stress level, might be considered dangerous. On the other hand, alcohol would make it easier to talk about Neil, who happened to be her big mistake.

“Neil’s come after you before,” Walker said by way of introduction.

She nodded. “He often travels with bands. It’s easier than putting his own together—that might require actual work, something he really hates. He’s been through twice before. I don’t know how he got my phone number, but he did. He would call and say we had to meet. If I refused, he threatened me. When I showed up he would start talking about Zoe and how he doesn’t ever see her. It was always some version of that. I would give him whatever money I had and he would go away.”

“Have you ever talked to him about signing a release?”

“No. Why would he agree when he can just step up to the money train anytime he’s in town?” She sipped her wine. “Neil is a gifted musician and songwriter. When he’s clean, he’s brilliant. Still an ass, but brilliant. When he’s on drugs, all he can do is play guitar and try to get through a day.”

“Legally what he’s doing is blackmail,” Walker told her. “There are laws against that.”

“I know, but if I push things legally, it could get ugly. He could tell the courts he desperately wants to see his daughter. He’s a good liar. He could also say I’ve been keeping her from him, which is true. I saw a lawyer today.”

“From the look on your face, it didn’t go well.”

“Not even close. She wasn’t very sympathetic. Her feeling was supervised visits wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Neil had never been emotionally or physically abusive, so Zoe’s not at risk. The fact that Neil told me to get an abortion didn’t seem to matter, either. She feels that many men react badly to an unexpected pregnancy and that I shouldn’t hold that against him.”

She clutched her glass in both hands. “The thought of getting involved in the legal system terrifies me. What if he were to win the right to see Zoe? Neil doesn’t care about her. He would use that right to get money from me. I can see him running off with her and then holding her hostage while I begged or borrowed more money.”

Her eyes began to burn. She drew in a breath and concentrated on staying in control.

“I would do anything to keep Zoe safe. I’ve even thought about running away. I just didn’t know if I could start over again. And she would hate it.”

“Running is a temporary solution. You need something permanent.”

His words were cold and flat and for the first time since getting to know him, she remembered that Walker was a man capable of killing.

“What are you thinking?” she asked, not sure she really wanted to know.

“That I want to find him and beat the shit out of him. That I want to teach him a lesson he’ll never forget and make him understand that if he ever gets near you or Zoe again, it would be the last thing he did.” His mouth twisted. “Scared?”

“Of you?” She shook her head. “No. You wouldn’t hurt me or Zoe. I’m not even sure you’d hurt Neil. I believe you’d want to, but I don’t know that you could just walk up to him and beat on him.”

“Want to bet?”

She smiled. “I don’t think so.”

He stared at her for a few seconds, then said, “You need to talk to a lawyer.”

“I just did. It was awful.”

“I’m talking about a specialist. Someone who will take your side and get the job done. Someone brutal.”

“Someone expensive,” she said, thinking of her pathetic twenty-seven hundred dollars and knowing a lawyer like that would suck it up in a week.

“Experienced,” he said. “I want to do some research and find the right person. I’ll pay for it and before you get all emotional, let me say this is a loan. You can pay me back over time.”

“I don’t get emotional,” she told him, even as she considered his offer. In her heart she knew that continuing to pay off Neil would only lead to trouble. If she could find someone who would
really
help, then she could keep Zoe safe.

“You do,” he said. “Okay. Have at it. I’m braced for the fight.”

She smiled. “There isn’t going be a fight. Thank you for the offer and yes, please, find someone to help me.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. His expression of shock made her giggle.

“I had all my arguments lined up,” he said with a frown. “They were pretty good.”

“You can still use them if you want. I’ll just sit here and listen, and then I can applaud.”

He reached across the sofa and touched her cheek. “Better,” he said. “I like the attitude. It’s been missing lately.”

She covered his fingers with her own. “You’ve been so good to me and I’ve…” Oh, God. She had to apologize, but just thinking about what she’d done made her want to crawl under a rock. “I wanted to tell you I was sorry. About what happened. About what I did. It was wrong and I feel awful. I panicked and reacted but that’s no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I hate that I went there. It makes me feel as if I haven’t grown at all. I just kept thinking I had to distract you.”

“You did a hell of a job.” He leaned in and kissed her. “Here’s an idea. You quit beating yourself up, I’ll accept your apology and we’ll call it a day.”

He was making it easy on her. “Thank you,” she said. “Was it too awful?”

He kissed her again. “Emotionally it sucked but physically, let’s see. I had a beautiful woman desperate to have her way with me. Every guy should be so abused. And just as a heads-up, you’re never allowed to tell anyone I care about emotions during sex. I have a reputation to think about.”

The last of her guilt and shame faded away as she studied his face.

“Your secret is safe with me,” she promised.

“Good. Now…” He took the wine from her and set both their glasses on the coffee table. “The way I see it, you owe me and I think it’s time to collect.”

Her first instinct was to protest. Not because she didn’t want to make love with him, but because she felt foolish and awkward.

“I’m nervous,” she admitted.

“Nervous as in no?”

She stared into his dark eyes. He would stop if she told him to. He would walk away and never blame her.

“Nervous as in ‘Oh, God, what does he really think of me’?”

He leaned in and kissed her. “That kind of nervous I can handle.”

W
ALKER DRESSED
while Elissa stepped into the shower. It was still dark outside and not much past four in the morning. They’d stayed up way too late making love and he knew she was going to spend her day exhausted. But based on the way she’d moaned and writhed beneath him, he was willing to bet she’d think the night had been a fair trade for sleep. Besides, it was Friday and the end of her workweek.

He considered going upstairs and sleeping for another hour, but then decided to get an early start on his day. He could—

His cell phone rang. He grabbed it, then studied the caller ID. Cal. Which meant…

“Hello?” he said. “Cal?”

“Penny’s in labor,” his brother said, sounding both excited and terrified. “We’re at the hospital. It’s going to be a few hours yet, but I wanted you to know we’re here.”

“Want me to come in now or wait?”

“You can wait. I’m staying pretty close to Penny, so you’d just be hanging out by yourself. But check back with me.”

“Will do. Tell her good luck and that I’ll be thinking about her.”

“Sure. I’m gonna call Reid. See you soon.”

Cal hung up. Elissa walked out of the bathroom, her hair pulled back and a large chicken staring at him from the front of her apron.

“Everything okay?” she asked. “Is it your grandmother?”

He hadn’t given Gloria a single thought. “No, Penny’s in labor.”

Elissa grinned. “At last. I know she was ready to have the baby out. Are you going to the hospital?”

“They just got there. Cal said I should wait. I thought I’d go by this afternoon.”

“First babies can be slow. I was lucky. Zoe only took about six hours, but I’ve heard horror stories of long deliveries. Can I call you later and find out how she’s doing?”

“Of course. Do you want to come by the hospital after work?”

“I’d like to but I don’t want to get in the way.”

“You won’t. Phone me and I’ll let you know if we have a kid yet or not. How’s that?”

“Perfect.” She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Want coffee?”

“I’d rather have you, but I’ll take what I can get.”