Island Girls (and Boys) (14 page)

I
needed to talk with someone. And I couldn�t talk to Chelsea. Not after she�d warned me that he was looking for a girl in every port. Not after all the fights we�d had.

So I went to the snack bar.

�Hey!� Amy yelled over the noise of the arcade, where a few sunburned kids had obviously decided to take some time away from the sun. �What are you doing here on your day off?�

When I didn�t respond, but just walked up to the counter, she said, �You look awful. What�s wrong?�

I felt awful, felt the stupid tears stinging my eyes. �Dylan�s gone.�

�Shit.�

�I knew he was going to leave. I just didn�t
know he was going to leave today. We had plans. We were going sailing�but his tent is gone.�

�Maybe he just moved it. Closer to our place.� Her eyes held hope, like she thought she could convince herself and me.

�Maybe.� But my heart told me it was a false hope. He was gone. I just knew it.

�You gonna order or what?�

I looked down at the lobster-red face of the kid. He was probably about eight. At that moment, I hated the male species. �I�m gonna
what
.� I turned my attention back to Amy. �I�ll catch you later.�

�Why don�t you hang out at the pool?�

I shook my head. �It�s my day off. I want to�do something special.�

Special was pathetic. Special was pushing my bicycle along the water�s edge and scouring the bodies coating the beach, looking for a familiar shape, listening for a familiar laugh, searching for that familiar lopsided smile. Holding onto the hope that Amy had tossed out to me, the hope that Dylan had just moved his tent up the beach instead of farther down the Texas coast.

Special was buying myself a coconut-flavored snow cone at the snow cone shack and then wondering why it was blue. Special was seeing couples hugging and kissing and remembering that I�d planned to spend my day doing exactly that.

I watched the sandpipers running over the sand, the seagulls swooping down from the sky. I watched the tide wash away sand castles and felt it washing away my hope as I got closer and closer to my end of the island without sighting Dylan.

Then I had a horrible thought: What if I sighted him with another girl? What if he hadn�t moved onto another section of the coast but on to another girl?

No, we�d had something special. Not special enough to hold him, but special enough that it had meant something.

It had to have meant something. I just didn�t know what.

So I sought out the special day I wanted. Special was putting the sunscreen on myself and lying on a blanket on the sand, wondering why he hadn�t said good-bye. Wondering if
he�d left like he did because I hadn�t given him what he wanted.

Realizing that I�d done something really, really stupid.

I�d fallen in love with him.

I
t was early evening before I finally found the energy or the desire to make my way home. I walked into the living room and slumped into a chair, barely noticed by Amy and Chelsea who were watching
Titanic
. It seemed that with Noah working, we�d regained feminine control of the TV and the remote.

I�d seen the movie a dozen times. I�d come in at a really bad place, watching Leonardo and Kate in the backseat of an old car, fogging up the windows, not knowing what the future held. My life was like that gigantic ship, sinking into the depths of the ocean. Or in my case, the depths of despair.

With a dog in her lap, beside her, and at her feet, Amy looked over at me. �Oh, my
gosh, you are seriously sunburned.�

�I know.� I could feel the heat on my skin, the tightness, the slight pain. Yesterday, I�d had Dylan to constantly slather lotion on me. He�d done it like every ten to fifteen minutes, laughing while he did it, saying he needed to protect me from the sun. When really all he wanted was an excuse to touch me. As if he needed an excuse.

Today I hadn�t been able to rouse the energy to put it on myself after that first application.

�Amy told me about tent guy boogying out of your life,� Chelsea said.

I stared harder at the TV. �Go ahead and say it, Chels.�

�Say what?�

�I told you so.�

�I wouldn�t do that.�

But I heard in the echo of her voice that she was doing exactly that�a slight smugness that hurt as much as my sunburned skin.

�We�re going to the Sandpiper after nine,� Amy said. �When it isn�t so busy. Noah said he�d treat us to an appetizer.�

�And it�ll give me a few minutes to see him,�
Chelsea said. �I miss him so bad. I haven�t seen him since I left this morning because he has to be at work before I get home.�

I heard the accusation in her voice, and it was the last straw. A guy I�d really liked had disappeared without a trace, and she was still harping about the little bit of time that she�d be without Noah.

I came up out of the chair like a zombie with a vengeance. �You know, Chels, I�m really getting tired of your constant, continual whining. The world doesn�t revolve around you every second of every day. You need to grow up.�

Chelsea�s mouth dropped open, and Amy�s eyes grew as large and round as the dog dish she�d bought and put in the kitchen. They were both looking at me like I�d turned into the Incredible Hulk.

I should have stopped there, but it was like things had been bottled up and now that I�d released a bit, the rest needed to follow.

�You think you�re disappointed in how this summer is going? News flash! So am I. It was supposed to be you, Amy, and me having a great time. Suddenly we�re sharing the place
with a guy�and you didn�t even bother to ask us how we might feel about it.�

�Amy�s asking guys��

�You did it first. I�ve spent most of my time since we got here slapping my head and asking myself, �What were you thinking when you suggested this?� I thought it would be fun to live on the island in a house near the beach with my best friends. So far, it�s been nothing but one huge disappointment.�

I knew I�d regret the outburst later. But not now. Now I was way too exhausted and hurting too much to care.

�I�m going to go take a shower.� I took two steps before turning around and glaring at Amy. �Or will I find another strange guy in the bathroom?�

She slunk back into the corner of the couch. �Rent is expensive on the island, and we had the extra beds.�

�We have extra floor space, too. Are you going to start lending it out?�

Oh, my God. I could actually see her calculating how many strays she could take in if she let them sleep on the floor.

�Never mind,� I said wearily, not certain if I was saying never mind to Amy�s tendency to take in strays or to Amy herself. Or to Chelsea or the dogs or the cat. I was tired of it all. I was tired of this great summer that I�d planned not being anything at all like I�d planned.

I trudged up the stairs to the shower. I welcomed the pain of the water hitting my sunburned skin. Because at least it distracted me from the pain stabbing my heart.

I�d not only lost a guy, but I was losing my best friends as well.

 

I was pitiful that first week after Dylan left. Absolutely pitiful.

No energy, no desire to interact with people. I was like a robot set on automatic.

I went to work, I registered guests, I listened as Chelsea moaned because she never ever saw Noah anymore.

I wanted to shout that I never saw Dylan either but you didn�t hear me whining about it. I wanted to tell her�and Amy�that I�d made the mistake of falling in love. I wanted them to know how badly I was hurting. I needed to
share that with someone.

But somehow our summer of being together had shifted into our summer of being apart�and I couldn�t share anything with them. I thought about talking to Mrs. P, but she was close to my mom�s age, which made her seem motherlike. And you didn�t tell your mom about your broken heart. You told your best friends. Only I couldn�t.

I was alone. An island on an island.

I hated it.

Then the second week after Dylan left, everything really went to hell.

�W
e are
so
over!�

It was early evening. I looked up from the romance novel I was reading. That was how I was spending my nights. Reading about romance, since the reality of it had escaped me.

Amy turned her attention away from the DVD she was watching.

Chelsea was standing in the doorway to the living room with tears streaming down her face.

Alarm swept through me, and I got up out of the chair. �Chels, what�s wrong?�

�We�re over. Me and Noah.�

�What happened?� Amy asked, coming up off the couch.

�I went to the Sandpiper, to surprise him�� She released a wail, ran across the room, and
dropped onto the couch, drawing her long legs up beneath her.

The dogs howled. Amy told them to be quiet. Remarkably, they obeyed. She sat on one side of Chelsea. I crossed over to kneel in front of her.

�What happened?� I prodded.

She sniffed, blinked, and more tears rolled over onto her cheeks. �He was with another girl.�

�What do you mean
with?
�

�Kissing! Okay? Kissing! His tongue stuck down her throat.�

�Oh, wow,� Amy said.

�That�s not what I said when I saw them,� Chelsea said. �What I said was R-rated.�

�This doesn�t make sense, Chels. He was kissing a girl at work?� I asked, needing clarification.

�They told me he was on his break, out back. So I went to find him. And he was with this sleazy girl. And it�s all your fault,� she told me, her eyes shooting daggers into me.

I sat back on my heels. �How do you figure that?�

�You made him get a job.�

�I didn�t tell him where to put his mouth.�

�Oh, God, I hurt.� She wrapped her arms around her middle and bent forward, her short hair nearly poking me in the eye. �I�ve never hurt this bad.�

�You�ll be okay, Chels,� I said. The words seemed lame, but I knew the truth of them. Or at least it seemed like I was getting over Dylan. I only thought about him every minute of every day now, instead of every second.

�We need some serious depression intervention,� Amy said. �Let�s go out.�

�I don�t want to go out.�

�Amy�s right,� I said. �Let�s go have some fun, like we�d planned to do this summer.�

�How can I have fun without Noah?�

�We had fun together before he came into your life,� I reminded her.

�I could meet someone else, make him jealous.�

�That�ll backfire,� I told her. �Let�s just go out and forget about boys completely.�

�Let�s do it,� she said with defiance ringing in her voice. �And be sure we lock all the doors.�

An evil grin played over her face. �I never gave him a key.�

 

Well, a girl can�t forget about boys completely�even when she�s trying. The first thing we did was deck ourselves out to kill. Short skirts, sexy tops, jewelry, makeup, the whole nine yards. We were going out on the town, and we were going out big time.

We hit a club called Surf�s Up. Surfboards lined the walls. Susan and Tom were there, and a few other people we recognized from their party or ours. Everyone was happy to see us, and it made me feel like we were actually island people.

Known by name. Welcomed into the fold.

We ended up sitting on one side of the building where several tables had been shoved up against each other.

People asked where Noah was; Chelsea said he�d moved to China. They asked me about Dylan, and I said he�d moved to Antarctica. No one seemed to question anything more than that. The island life. Nothing was permanent. Things washed up onshore, washed away with
the tide. Houses were built to last only until a storm tore them down.

And so we were three girls on our own for the night, looking to have a bit of fun. And the island guys were more than happy to provide it.

We danced and drank and ate. To look at Chelsea flirting with some surfer guys, no one would have realized that she�d had a boyfriend that morning. She was all over them, and they were all over her.

Me�I was still pathetic. Comparing every guy to Dylan and finding them all lacking. Their eyes were the wrong color. Their smiles too perfect.

I wanted them to make me forget about Dylan. And all they seemed to do was remind me that he was gone.

�You�re hooked up with someone, aren�t you?�

Sitting at the table, I looked at the guy who had dropped into the chair beside mine. He grabbed a peanut from a metal bucket and went about cracking it open, dropping the shell on the floor. A lot of peanuts had been opened around here.

He was cute�gerbil cute�with puffy cheeks and twinkling eyes. He looked like he could be fun. So why was I irritated that he�d interrupted me�when I wasn�t doing anything?

�No,� I said. That�s all. Nothing to lead him on, nothing to extend the conversation.

�You�re the one living in the last house on the island.�

�Yep.�

He furrowed his brow, which lifted his cheeks and made it look like he was squinting. �I saw you with a guy�tall, dark hair��

�We�re over.�

�So where is he?�

�I don�t know. I don�t care.� The lies were flying out of my mouth like bats out of cave at twilight.

He shelled another peanut, popped the nut into his mouth, and chewed. Like a cow in the pasture. His gaze never straying from me. He swallowed. �It�s just that I thought the two of you looked serious.�

�You thought wrong.�

�Okay. So you want to dance?�

I smiled brightly. �Yes.� Anything. Anywhere.
Anytime. Just take me away from here.

His name was Randy. He owned a surfboard stand on the sand. A shack, really. But the rent was cheap. And he could take in the rays all day while renting people surfboards. And in the evenings, when he closed up shop, he surfed. He�d surfed during the last hurricane.

�It was totally awesome,� he said. �Huge waves.�

He was so proud of what he�d done, and all I could think was: Could you get any more stupid?

�You could have been killed.�

He nodded. �Yep. But it would have been worth it. It was a rush.�

I was beginning to feel like the dullest girl on the planet. Maybe that�s why Dylan had taken off instead of spending my day off with me. Because when it came right down to it, he was going to go play Rambo, and I was the type of person who would head to the mainland as soon as a hurricane started coming my way.

When the song ended, I went back to the table and sat down. Randy went off to get us something to drink.

Chelsea sat down beside me. �Are we having fun yet?�

�Not really.�

�What are we doing here, Jen?�

�I don�t know.�

�I miss Noah.�

�You have to forget him, Chels. He�s not good enough for you. Not if he was making out with another girl.�

�Maybe he wasn�t. Maybe he was�I don�t know, maybe she washed up onshore, and he was giving her mouth to mouth��

�I thought they were behind the restaurant.�

�A really high tide could have carried her to the restaurant.�

I gave her a hard stare. She sighed. �I know. I�m pathetic.�

�Been there, done that.�

�Let�s find Amy and blow this place.�

So we did just that.

The three of us. Alone on the beach, walking where the water met the sand. A little tipsy from sneaking drinks when the waitress wasn�t looking.

But it was wonderful, the way I�d expected
the summer to be. Me and my girlfriends. Just us. No guys. No worries. No troubles.

�Who was the chipmunk?� Amy asked.

I laughed. I�d thought of him as a gerbil. �Randy. He owns a surfboard shop.�

�You�re a guy magnet.�

�Yeah, right. Both of you had plenty of guys hanging off you.�

�Thought that�s the reason we came out,� Chelsea said. �To get lost in lust.�

�It wasn�t working.�

�Whatever.�

�So what are we going to do for the rest of the summer?� Amy asked.

�Work, play, have fun. Party, here and there.�

�Do you know what I�m craving?� Chelsea asked. �Chocolate ice cream. Let�s stop and get a tub and rent a movie.�

�Let�s do.�

�We�ll sit on the couch, eating right out of the tub. Until it�s gone.�

That�s what I wanted. A summer of just the three of us. So why did it suddenly seem so unappealing? Why did I want more?

Why did I want Dylan?