It's All Relative (61 page)

Exhaling softly, Kai rested his head against hers. “I’ll miss you too.” Chuckling, he raised his head. “But look on the bright side.” He flicked a quick glance at Jessie before swinging his eyes back to his mother. “Maybe you’ll get grandkids soon.”

Jessie’s eyes grew so large they hurt, and Leilani squealed and reached across her son to embrace her. Jessie glared at him as she hugged his mother, but Kai only laughed at her expression. Great. Now that he’d thrown the door wide open, the baby talk was going to start pouring through it. Jessie sighed inwardly as she patted the eager woman’s back. She was positive a pair of handmade booties were in her near future.

T
he plane ride away from Hawaii was a completely different experience for Kai than the plane ride there had been. He was completely relaxed by Jessie’s side as they reclined in their first class seats. He still felt a lingering ripple of bittersweet happiness after having said goodbye to his parents at the airport. He’d eventually come to terms with what both of them had done to him. And truly, they had hurt themselves as much as they’d hurt him. Maybe more. His mother especially.

At the gate, she’d squeezed Jessie so tightly that Kai had clearly seen the strain on his girlfriend’s face. “It was so nice to meet you, Jessie. Take care of my son.”

Jessie had flicked her eyes to Kai, a soft smile on her lips. “I will.”

Before Kai could even return Jessie’s warm smile, his mother had engulfed him in a vice-like hug. “I’ll call you every chance I get,” she’d told him. Then she’d patted his arm and added, “Now hurry up and get to work on that grandbaby.”

Remembering the look of excitement on his mother’s face as she’d contemplated a baby in Kai and Jessie’s future made Kai grin and shake his head. His mother had certainly made her fair share of mistakes, but in her heart she was a good person, and he loved her, so he’d had no choice but to make peace with her, because he was his reason for being.

She’d finally stopped asking for forgiveness, but he could see the regret in her eyes whenever she looked at him, whenever she looked at Nate. She deeply regretted hurting two men that she genuinely cared for. Kai was positive that he didn’t ever want to go through what she had gone through. He didn’t ever want his heart torn between two people. Yet another reason he was grateful he could be with Jessie. She fulfilled every part of him, satisfied every desire, want and need. Not being completely faithful to her was unfathomable. Just the thought of it made him nauseous. She had his heart, every single corner of it, and he was positive the feeling was equally reciprocated.

His mother’s last words to him had been warm and sweet, like the mom he knew her to be. “I love you so much, Kai. I’ll miss you every day. And who knows, maybe I’ll fly over and visit. I wouldn’t mind seeing Denver.”

The small smile on her face had seemed nostalgic and hopeful, and Kai was certain a visit from her would also include a visit to Kai’s biological father. Kai was okay with that. His mother had been alone a long time. Mason too, actually. Despite the havoc they’d caused, the two deserved their shot at happiness.

As the perky flight attendant refilled his orange juice, Kai’s thoughts shifted to his father. Leaving Nate had felt much like when he’d arrived in Hawaii. It had been just as intense, but for different reasons this time. Back then, Kai had been hurt and confused, but love had ultimately led him to forgiveness. Parting with him had been emotional.

Once his mother had backed off a respectful distance, his father had stepped forward. Smiling softly at Kai, he’d told him, “I’ll miss you, son.” Swallowing a lump in his throat, he’d added in a choked voice, “I know you’ll do great things at the center with Mason. After all, you’re a Harper…in spirit at least.”

Feeling an almost desperate need to let him know that he would always be his son, Kai had thrown his arms around his father, cinching him tight. “I
am
your son. I’ll always be your son…always.”

He’d kept repeating it to him over and over. Kai wasn’t sure why at the time, and wished he’d been able to stop, since he’d managed to bring his father to tears, but he thought he finally understood. Kai hadn’t been assuring his father, he’d been trying to assure himself.

A piece of Kai, a dark piece that he didn’t like to look at, was afraid that the man who’d raised him…would abandon him now. Kai’s logical brain immediately discounted the idea. After all, if that were really going to happen, it would have happened when Kai was a teenager. If Nate Harper was going to turn his back on him, like he had his marriage, he would have done it years ago, when Kai was young. But logic doesn’t always win, and the fear was still there…a lingering worry bubbling to the surface.

Kai supposed that no matter how old a person got the fear of being abandoned, of being rejected by those who were loved the most, was always tucked away in some tragic corner of the soul, where all childhood fears reside. Most people spent every day ignoring those fears, discounting them as readily as they discounted the Boogie Man and the monster under the bed. But when they slipped out, when they found a chink in the armor of who a person was, like a noxious weed, they took hold.

Kai swallowed his drink and rolled his eyes at his own dramatic inner monologue. He glanced over at Jessie to see her eyes were closed; her face was relaxed. She looked a little tired, but that was to be expected after all the ups and downs they’d had recently. Clutching her hand, he was relieved to know that things would probably mellow out from here. Jessie didn’t open her eyes, but she smiled when she felt his skin against hers. She loved being close to him, same as he loved being close to her.

Glancing down her body, his eyes rested on her flat stomach. Intrigued by the idea he’d haphazardly tossed out to his mother, he imagined her stomach full of life. His life, his child. While the thought had once appalled him, it warmed him now. Kai had always pictured himself having children in the future, he’d just never been sure who he would have them with. He was sure now. While he’d mainly been joking with his mother, it was something he wanted, something he wanted with Jessie. Maybe not right away, but someday.

Bringing her left hand to his lips, he also imagined placing a ring on her finger. He wanted that too. Now that the option was open to him, it was really all he could think about. They still needed to break the news to her parents, since they were still under the impression that Kai was a cousin, but after everything that Kai had been through lately, he felt sure they could do it.

Jessie looked over at him as his lips rubbed back and forth over the finger he so wanted to encircle. Her dark eyes swept over his features. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.

His gaze lingered on those luscious lips for a second before he answered. Biting back a smile, he shook his head. “I was just thinking that it’s legal for first cousins to get married in Hawaii.”

Her eyes widened, and she grinned. “I see…that’s interesting that you know that.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and Kai laughed. “I had a good reason to look it up.”

Jessie laughed then sighed contently. “You see us getting married one day?” she asked, her fingers coming up to stroke his cheek.

Closing his eyes, Kai leaned into her touch. “Yes,” he said, reopening them “Don’t you?”

Color stained her cheeks a beautiful shade of pink as she nodded. “Yeah…someday.”

Smiling, he rested his head against hers. “I know legally we’re probably still cousins. If we want to get married without all the…complications, there are probably a ton of hoops we’ll have to go through. I don’t know what they might be, and we might need legal help to prove we’re not related. But maybe it’s as easy as having my birth certificate changed to show that Nate Harper isn’t biologically my father?” Kai shook his head, making their noses brush together. “I kind of hate the thought of doing that, but I would gladly go through with it to freely be your husband. Regardless of the obstacles, I want that future with you. I want you to be my wife.”

He pulled back to look at her, and her eyes were wet with tears. Moving her hand from his face, he clenched it tight. “I love you, Jessie…always.”

She smiled as the tears dripped down her cheeks. “I love you, too.”

They leaned in for a series of light, soft kisses that made Kai feel a little dizzy. When they withdrew, Jessie raised an eyebrow at him. “Most of our extended family will still think we’re related.”

Kai shrugged, not caring anymore. “Let them. We know the truth. Besides, it’s just the multitude of aunts, uncles, and cousins that we never see anyway. We only ever hear about them in Gran’s Christmas letter.” Kissing her softly, he smiled. “Our close family will know the truth. And they’ll accept us because they love us.”

“We’ll need to stop referring to ourselves as cousins around other people then. This might freak them out.” She leaned over and gave him a soft kiss as she ran a hand through his hair.

Kai laughed, deep in his throat. “It will be our inside joke.” Jessie giggled and laughing with her, Kai returned himself to where he most wanted to be in this world…her lips.

Once they were back in the city Kai was nearly as fond of as the one he’d left behind, he again felt fueled with direction and purpose. He knew where his life was going again, and that was a comfort that he drew a tremendous amount of strength from. He would remain here in Denver, working with Mason, learning from the man who academically inspired him. He would help Jessie take care of Gran, making sure she stayed strong, healthy, and independent for as long as she could. And he and Jessie…they would share every aspect of their lives with each other, and he would be the best boyfriend, lover, and friend Jessie could ever dream of having. Kai would make her forget that any other man had ever existed before him.

Smiling as they exited the airport, Kai finally felt like his future wasn’t going to be filled with pain and longing. He was going to have everything he’d ever wanted, with the girl he’d always dreamt of having.

Immersed in those cheery thoughts as they climbed into Jessie’s truck, Kai started with surprise when his phone rang. He’d charged it before leaving for his impromptu trip home, but no one had called him in days. As an overdramatic, sappy song started pouring out of his speakers, he groaned and cursed his coworker.

Jessie, clearly recognizing the song, laughed as she started her vehicle. “
Wind Beneath My Wings
…really?”

Grimacing at her comment as he glanced at the caller ID, he shook his head. “Missy. I seriously don’t know how she keeps getting a hold of my phone.” Jessie let out a hearty laugh as Kai smiled at the screen. Bringing the phone to his ear, he answered the call with, “Mom, we just left you. Do you really miss me already?”

As Jessie pulled away from the parking lot, he heard his mother’s laughter. “I miss you all the time, Kai. I just wanted to make sure you landed okay.”

Smiling over at Jessie, Kai grinned. “We’re fine, Mom. Perfectly fine.”

Hanging up after a brief conversation with her, Kai gazed at Jessie the entire time she drove them home.
Home.
Being with her truly felt like being home now. Not the paradise he’d left behind, and definitely not the tiny studio apartment he’d been staying in. Wherever
she
was, was home.

She glanced at him as he watched her. “You know, I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah,” he murmured, reaching out a finger to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes briefly before snapping them open. Good thing too, since she
was
driving.

Swallowing, she flicked her eyes at him and shrugged. “Well, Grams did mention that her neighbor’s house was free, and I was thinking, maybe…” She let her thought trail off as she studied the road. Kai watched her bite her lip, and there was almost a nervous look on her face.

Kai straightened. Was she really considering Gran’s offer of Kai moving next door, in her recently deceased neighbor’s place? He furrowed his brow. Yes, a house would give him more space, but in relation to Jessie, it was more of a lateral move than anything. It wouldn’t bring them any closer together. It was a little farther actually, since he wouldn’t drive past Jessie’s place on his way home from work anymore.

Noticing his expression, Jessie smiled and he relaxed. In a near whisper, she shrugged and said, “Do you think Harmony and April would mind if I told them I was moving out? Because…maybe you and I can move next door to Grams. We’d be able to take better care of her, and we’d have a place to ourselves…if you wanted…to live with me, that is.” Her hand sneaked over to grasp his, and Kai’s heart quickened. She wasn’t asking him to move away, she was asking him to move in, to start their life together.

While she cast him anxious glances, Kai laughed lightly and laced their fingers together. “I think that sounds like a great idea, Jessie.”

She broke out into a breathtaking smile, and Kai leaned over to kiss her cheek. Then he nuzzled her neck, making her giggle and squirm. Living
with
her? Now that was a move Kai could whole-heartedly support. She was his home, anyway.